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New school: how to join the team. How to join a new school team

New school: how to join the team. How to join a new school team

Man is designed in such a way that he is always wary of everything new. Therefore, the attitude towards a new colleague will always be cautious; any of his words and actions will be examined as if under a microscope and discussed many times by colleagues. But life does not stand still and we are all forced to regularly change jobs, constantly encountering new teams. Unfortunately, rarely can anyone now work in the same place until retirement, as in the days of our grandmothers, so the ability to quickly and competently join new team You will definitely need it in the future.

To better understand how your new colleagues feel about you, remember the feelings you experienced when someone new joined your close-knit and friendly team at your previous job.

Of course, many people say that the first month of work is the most difficult. In fact, modern realities are such that often an opinion about an employee is formed not even during the internship, but during the interview. Even then, the boss often gives brief description and tells the first impression about a person.

1. Appearance.

Of course, it is very important to comply with the official dress code of the company, but usually everything is much, much more complicated. You don’t know which team you’ll end up in in advance. Perhaps only the wives of businessmen work in this team and for them this is just another reason to show off in their clothes, and going to work is a reason not to sit at home. It is also quite possible that all the people working at this enterprise go to work only for the money, they have young offspring and a lot of loans. And the way people of these two categories will dress is incomparable.

You may simply not join the team due to different social status. You should find out this during your internship and, if the social gap is very deep, think about whether this particular job is so important for you. After all, you will spend a lot of time at this job and psychological comfort is very important.

It is quite possible that you will be able to show that expensive things are not so valuable and in fact it is worth paying attention to the spiritual and intangible aspects of life, but the percentage of people who voluntarily want to give up beautiful life extremely small.

Also, one should not discount the fact that beautiful things are just a way to escape from a person’s reality and at least somehow pamper himself, then he will never give them up. Of course, there are now a lot of videos on YouTube about how to look expensive on a minimal budget, but in fact, they don’t work. An expensive or cheap thing can be seen from afar. It is quite possible that you will quickly get tired of hanging your shabby jacket in a closet where only mink coats hang and paying half your salary for lunch in the cafe where the rest of your employees are used to having lunch.

In the opposite situation, you will need to wean yourself from bragging and deliberately causing envy among colleagues who are less fortunate in life. It is quite possible. The main thing is to stop thinking about what if bad financial position, then the person himself is to blame for this, because there are many reasons beyond people’s control, for example, illness of relatives. Of course, when your closet is full of new things, you want to change them every day before they go out of fashion, but you have somewhere else to dress up other than for work.

Very often there is a situation when a person deliberately shows off all his outfits, trying to prove what a valuable employee he was at his previous job and how often he received bonuses. Believe me, this immediately catches the eye and usually causes nothing but laughter from others. If you find yourself in a situation where the employees around you are forced to live from paycheck to paycheck, you shouldn’t also choose a separate handbag and shoes for each set of clothes. You don’t work in the fashion section, and this certainly won’t appeal to employees who only have one bag and shoes for the season.

2. Following generally accepted standards.

For example, clothes should be ironed, even if you have a European mindset and think that this is not at all necessary. This should also include clean hair, no matter how lazy it would be to wash it every day, minimal makeup and manicure.

3. Smell.

Nothing is more annoying than the smell of unwashed body, sweat or the smell of cheap perfume that irritates everyone. At first, you should not use perfume at all until you know how others feel about it. It is quite possible that you are a fan of sweet scents, and everyone else considers them cloying and simply suffocates. Also, if you know that you have bad breath and you have not yet gotten rid of this problem, you should use special mints more often. Don't forget also about unpleasant smell, which often comes from stale clothing, especially outerwear. If you are not ready to dry clean your outerwear at the beginning of the season, then you should at least hang scented sachets in your closet.

4. Stories about yourself.

Many articles indicate that you should talk less about yourself to avoid gossip. But a person who does not tell anything about himself seems secretive. Moreover, people simply make up many things. You should think about what you are willing to tell about yourself in advance. And also about what will be interesting to people. It is quite possible that you will tell the same thing several times to different people, because everyone is interested in talking to someone new.

Think about how you will answer uncomfortable questions. Everyone will be interested in questions of a purely personal nature. But if you answer that this is personal and you would not like to discuss it, then many will consider this simple rudeness. Think about how you can answer these questions evasively.

What questions will definitely arise? Questions about clarifying social status. For example, what do the parents/husband do, where do they work, how much do they earn. Married/not married, do you have a boyfriend, why not married. Are there children, why not, what is the reason. This is a particularly favorite question among the women’s team, because it is for the sake of the future of their children that many women are ready to take a job they hate. If you don’t have children, then be prepared for the fact that you will not only be demandingly asked for the reason, but also give a lot of advice and tell the life stories of friends who were in the same situation.

People simply love to look at other people's photos, of course, if you want your new colleagues to like you, then you should definitely add them as friends, having first removed all the “dubious” photos. It may also very well turn out that your friends are their worst enemies, so this is always a risk. But reasonable people usually do not attach any importance to this, because now many people add as friends even those people whom they have never met in real life.

6. Traditions.

Be sure to participate in tea parties and Friday festivities if you are invited, and don’t be upset if you haven’t been invited yet. They will definitely invite you, they just need to get used to it and start trusting it, because usually it is in such a relaxed atmosphere that it is customary to discuss the boss and other employees.

7. Neutrality.

Of course, in all work collectives there are several groups at war with each other, and I usually advise you not to join any of them. But usually, this doesn't work out. Here you can give one harmful advice - be sure to join the one who is ready to accept, but only on the condition that she will help you in everything and protect you from others. After all, in many teams you simply cannot survive any other way. And if different departments are fighting among themselves, it won’t be possible to work any other way, this is already part of the corporate culture.

8. What not to talk about.

First of all, you shouldn’t talk about all your past novels, school/college years, traitorous girlfriends, how good/bad it was at past work. Usually this is of no interest to anyone; for such information you should just create Personal diary, if you really want to speak out. But if colleagues start talking about this, usually they just want to talk it out, there is no particular trust here and everyone has already heard this “secret” information, sometimes several times. At this point you should listen and nod.

9. Mentor.

Immediately discuss with your boss the question of who will be your mentor, who you can turn to, who will train you and bring you up to date. It is advisable to please this person and not to weave intrigues against him. It is quite possible that he will not be happy that in addition to his main job, he also has to teach you something, especially since in most enterprises this is not paid in any way. It may seem to you that this person is not specifically teaching you anything and is not telling you the secrets of mastery. It is quite possible that this is the case.

Many people, remembering that no one really taught them, and remembering how many mistakes they made, do not want to tell anyone anything, so as not to seem stupider than others. In many areas of activity, for mistakes, even initial stage work is subject to “fines”, this is the so-called. “the price of entering the profession.” And the people who paid them at one time subconsciously want other people to make the same mistake. Here everything depends on the boss. Many experienced bosses, knowing this, during the first 3 months probationary period, it is not the beginner who is blamed for mistakes, but the mentor. This helps the mentor to fulfill such an assignment more conscientiously.

But it also happens that the mentor sincerely wants to teach something, but the beginner is in no hurry to adopt the knowledge. This is especially true for internships. Many people are simply too lazy to sit at an internship all day, they tend to come late and leave early, they don’t want to sign up important information, preferring to call later if something happens, they say that they remember everything anyway, they don’t want to read the legislation, regulations And technological maps. It’s as if they haven’t been hired yet and aren’t paid. Of course, there are situations when a mentor is too lazy to rummage through the laws and print something out, but usually they are ready to do this, because many people like to give advice, thereby increasing their importance.

10. Mistakes.

Very often a situation arises when a newbie makes a mistake at the beginning of his work, and then says that he was not told or warned about it. Of course, because he is afraid of losing his job. But the fact is that this is almost a guarantee that the team will subsequently hate him, especially if there are witnesses that this has been spoken about more than once and attention has been focused on this. The employer understands that the new employee will make mistakes at first, and a smart employer understands that the situation is such that the old employee did not warn about possible error and its consequences are extremely small, especially if he knows him as a good and not mean person.

If any mistake occurs, a newcomer should first of all talk to his mentor, in most cases, he will help correct it, and not immediately run to the boss, this will help establish warm and trusting relationships and, quite possibly, will help make his first friend at a new workplace place. Also, don’t try to tell them that at your previous job you always did this and everything was fine. In general, don’t try to bring anything from your previous job, even if these are truly great ideas, wait until your opinion is listened to.

11. Office.

You should not take other people’s things and even someone else’s office without asking. Most The best way– have at least your own minimum set. Also, you should not demonstratively demand that everything be given out at work; in many companies this is not accepted, and people use what they purchased with their own money. Of course, it’s stupid to buy office supplies until you’ve received your salary, but then it’s worth thinking about it. It is also quite possible that in such a simple way as an office you can be considered very important and necessary person in the office. After all, in every office there is a person who has a minimum set of necessary pills, for example, for headaches, a blood pressure monitor, feminine hygiene products, a nail file and extra tights. The help of such a person is always needed critical situation and his material investment is often repaid by a good attitude. So having an extra binder or hole punch will help a little in building friendships.

12. Knowledge.

Without them there is no way, it is good knowledge in the specialty that can help at first in the absence of experience, because everyone likes to communicate with a competent person who not only constantly asks everything, but can also help. After all, very often a fresh look to a problem can help find an extraordinary solution to the problem.

13. Be yourself.

Of course, everyone is scared to communicate with new people, and despite the fact that many advise you to play the role of a more confident person, you should always remain yourself. Your real thoughts and emotions are much more important; you should also not forget about life experience and even minimal knowledge of human psychology, because the older we get, the easier it is to understand people.

14. There is no need to invent anything.

You can just ask. This applies not only to official issues, but also to many others, such as how you usually celebrate birthdays, where you have lunch, celebrate the end of the week and many others. You can also ask your mentor whether it is customary to exhibit after your first salary; he will be happy to tell you about it. After all, sometimes it’s better to know something for sure than to guess. Of course, you shouldn’t ask to retell all the gossip to you, the time will come when you will find out everything yourself, even who is who and who falls asleep in whose arms.

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Every third child becomes a victim of bullying by classmates. Most often, ridicule and bullying affect newcomers.

The situation when you have to transfer a child to another class or school is not uncommon. The reasons for the transfer may be different:

  1. Parents change their place of residence.
  2. Serious conflicts between the child and classmates.
  3. Changing a regular school to a specialized one.
  4. Program inappropriate for the child's developmental level.

At a new school, a child often faces rejection as a member of the team. Because of this, the process of normal socialization of the student is disrupted.

Ultimately, the child cannot find friends and feels psychological discomfort, which will only grow.

The responsibility of parents is to support the child during this difficult period and provide assistance. The recommendations in our article will help you take as much part in your child’s school life as possible in order to notice any changes in behavior in time and avoid conflicts.

Difficulties during adaptation to a new team

Odnoklassniki do not accept

It is not always so. Children can take a closer look at the newcomer before coming into close contact with him. New students are initially under the protection of the teacher, which can constrain classmates from wanting to somehow express themselves towards their new friend.

Real rejection of a child can only happen if the student shows the bad side of himself, begins to bully others, and mocks.

Teach your child to objectively perceive the surrounding reality. Not only does he adapt to the new class, but the class also adapts to him.

The child does not know how to establish contact

Newcomers do not know how to establish contact with peers and stay away. This is normal, since excessive intrusiveness can scare away friends. Communication between children comes down to the level of working relationships: “Please pass me the diary,” “Lend me a pen.” The entire team or groups of children themselves show interest in the newcomer. They are the first to make contact and involve the child in the general life of the class.

If the class rejects the child, you need to contact a school psychologist to further analyze the reasons that led to this outcome.

The struggle for leadership

An established team already has its own leaders and ringleaders, who form a class self-government.

Going to new class, you should not immediately declare your intentions to take over the laurels of championship. You need to try to fit naturally into the team and offer your services whenever possible.

Also, do not forget that all processes in the classroom must be led by a teacher. If your child has leadership qualities, he will definitely notice them and guide them in the right direction.

Don't know how? Then read our article.


The child spends a lot of mental and physical strength trying to successfully integrate into the team and getting used to the new teacher. He has no energy left to study.

All teachers teach the same subject differently. It also takes some time to get used to a new teacher and his style. Don't judge your child too harshly for his failures.

Adaptation lasts up to 2 months. If the situation continues, this is a reason to visit a teacher or class teacher to find out the reasons for poor performance.

Chat with the teacher

Moving a child to another school brings enormous stress for parents as well. This is due to the restructuring of the usual way of life.

To reduce Negative consequences transfer to another school is kept to a minimum; psychologists advise doing this at the beginning of the school year.

Before this, you definitely need to meet with the class teacher, get to know each other, ask important questions, find out about the school rules, dress code, lesson schedule.

The more information you can get, the more likely it is that your child will not be perceived as a black sheep right out of the gate.

It is also important to tell the teacher as much as possible about the child:

  • character traits;
  • performance in previous school;
  • which subjects are easy and which are difficult;
  • hobbies and visiting sections and clubs.

The more information the teacher receives from you, the easier it will be for him to introduce the child into the team and unite him.

Prepare the student

After talking with the teacher, you can explain to your child all the key points in the new school, what subjects will be taught, what time breaks start, what uniform to wear.

The transition should be actively discussed within the family. The child should understand that you are interested in his life and worry about him.

It is imperative to talk to him, discuss all possible situations and establish a trusting relationship as much as possible. The success of adaptation depends on the student’s trust in his parents.

Take an interest in your child's school life

Children faced with the need to leave their old school feel lonely and abandoned.

This happens due to the lack of attention on the part of parents to the current situation. This leads to the following problems:

  • Inability to adapt to new rules and requirements;
  • drop in academic performance;
  • depression;
  • frequent illnesses.

Your support is important for the student. It is not necessary to constantly ask your child everything; he should want to share with you. You can also look for ways to solve problems by watching cartoons, reading fairy tales, and drawing parallels between the current situation and other cases in life. This will provide the child with invaluable experience and the opportunity to see the results when different options solving the problem. The sincerity of your participation in school adaptation will help ease the transition to a new team.

Support and care, but don’t cackle at your child

Treat your child as an equal, respect his preferences and views, gently correct them, and guide them in the right direction. But do not forget that due to the lack life experience The child may make mistakes and do not criticize him harshly.

You can help your child make a craft for a school competition or exhibition. Or arrange a party for children and invite classmates, prepare competitive program with team or collective games.

Such events help to establish communication between children in an informal setting. The child will feel less constrained because others will be on his territory. Let your child understand that trying to please everyone will never be successful. Respect for others is enough.

How can a child make the right impression on classmates?

    Prepare your clothes

    It must be clean and ironed. It's better to dress smarter.

    Fold your briefcase in advance

    Don't leave this process until the morning, because you may forget something due to your worries.

    Open up to new experiences

    Walk into school with your head held high and your back straight. No one should notice your experience. Be calm and confident that everything will work out.

    Politeness

Sometimes it's scary to move to a new school, but this article will help you get through the first time. You won't be the new kid forever. It's time to get acquainted.

Steps

    Start by taking a day to assess your environment. You won't fit into the team if you don't know the school. Ask what is where or where the school map hangs.

    Be moderately nice to everyone. Treat adults, teens and children equally well because they may be your next teacher or friend.

    Get to know your teachers. Talk and learn more about them. Determine how strict or lenient they are and test their boundaries. But don't go too far or you might end up in trouble (good for your reputation, but you'll still have to deal with trouble).

    You need to make friends. Talk to different people, but don't ignore a certain group. Be yourself and don't cheat. This is YOUR school now...seize the chance to become something you never were at your old school.

    Be attentive in class. Teachers always pay attention to new students.

    If your first day of school is the first day of a new school year, some people will notice you, especially if it's a small school. When people talk to you, don't be nervous, but don't be too loud. Be confident and look people in the eye. Although sometimes you have to announce yourself loudly in order to be noticed, try not to attract attention at all times. Don't worry too much about what others think of you; overanalyzing a situation is not always helpful, people may judge you for it. Be sincere, be yourself, behave well with everyone, no matter how unpleasant some people seem to you at first. Usually "the girl or guy I hate at the new school" eventually becomes mine best friends

    after there is more sincerity between us. But again, don't be afraid to stand up for yourself if it's extremely obvious that you should. Don't worry too much about knowing the school well.

    Remember where your locker is and have a map for emergencies, but whenever possible, ask the person sitting next to you where something is. This is a good way to talk to people and meet a lot of people on your first day - you're the new kid now - tell people everything is new to you in case you need help. When you're talking to people of the opposite sex, don't flirt too intensely until you're sure the person isn't in a relationship. Once one person hates you, their entire group will feel the same way about you. Remember, these people grew up together, so it is their responsibility to protect their lifelong friends. Be pleasant and optimistic, even if someone bothers you on purpose. They may even let you bother the other new guy someday, usually it takes a year and a half, but the opinion of you as a new guy will not be the same. Always remember

    good first impressed, but it’s also important to be yourself.br> Before your first lunch, talk to many people in the class. They may usually ask you if you're sitting with someone, but if not, steer the conversation towards dinner (like, is the food good, etc.). If no one specifically mentions

    In the first week of school, treat everyone well and talk to everyone, even if someone seems strange to you.

    They may know people you'll become friends with or introduce you to more people. However, if everyone hates them, we advise against becoming their best friend unless you really want to. Don't get too hung up on anyone, hang out with everyone and get to know the person or group enough before you consider them friends. Usually the most insidious and manipulative people talk to you first, and the ones you talk to later become your true friends. Pay attention in class and study diligently at school.

    If someone passes you a note or whispers something to you, ignore them and turn your attention to the teacher. Join several clubs or sports sections and make friends with others in this way.

    Take your participation in these hobby clubs seriously. After you've spoken with someone a few times, ask them for their contact information.

    Better yet, offer them something to do over the weekend. Be kind to other children.

  1. While you don't want to be a total suck-up, kids like someone who will cooperate with them. If you are asked for a favor, do it. Don't be too trusting - sometimes people will even provoke you to test your boundaries - to scout the situation. Just confidently (maybe even with a big smile on your face)...answer “judiciously.” Like if they called you a “jerk,” ask why they called you a jerk. If you are accused of something you did not do, say that you never did what you are accused of, and then ask who said it.

    • Be consistently balanced inside and out, and don't think too deeply about people or situations.
    • Work on your desire to fit in, but at the same time, be yourself. The first couple of weeks are always confusing.
    • The clothes you wear don't have to match your school's fashion! People are attracted to what's different, but it can bring you both good and bad attention. Always be intuitive to the people around you, and hold back your style for a while. But don’t dress like a carbon copy! If there is nothing outstanding about you, no one will feel the desire to recognize you.
    • On your first day, wear clothes you like, but if you have a very different style, tone it down a little. Dress simply, you don't want to alienate people just because of your clothes.
    • If your locker is located next to someone whose owner you had a disagreement with the first time you met, try talking again to see if the person was just having a bad day.
    • If you do this, you may make new friends. Even if it's not your first day of school, try to interact with people, but not too much, otherwise they won't like you very much.
    • The main thing about being a new child is that you are new. Everyone already has friends. They don't need you as a friend. Your only trump card is the novelty of being a newcomer. This effect will wear off at the end of the first month, so make the most of it.
    • You need to squeeze into a group; even if you feel uncomfortable, keep trying.

    Warnings

    • If you got a bad reputation at your old school, don't talk about it at your new school. Just pretend it didn't happen and don't repeat the same old mistakes at your new school.
    • Don't be shameless. Showing yourself to people right away is great, but let them have their say.
    • Try, if you can, to avoid scandals.
    • Don't be a negative character. People don't like sad people. How to avoid this? Think positively about every situation.

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Did you have to move to another city and change school?! The music of the First will tell you how to join the new school team!

Don't worry

The first day is always the most exciting! After all, you will see your future classmates, and they will see you. And just one lesson to collect your thoughts! But during recess, meet the girls and boys you liked the most. Maintain good relations with them. Perhaps it's yours future company. Be open and sociable, talk about interesting topics.

Good mood and communication

Try to always come to school with good mood! Let everyone think that everything in your life has worked out! Remember, there will always be those who will not accept you. Well, forget about them! You don't need to suck up to the local "celebrities", your the main objective- find real friends. Therefore, spend more time on ordinary guys without showing off!

Don't push people away

We are all human beings, and we are interested in the lives of others. And you’re a new person in the class, which means you’re arousing curiosity! The guys will come up to you and ask you about everything. You can tell them everything during the break, or you can offer to take a walk after school and chat in an informal setting! Believe me, it brings you closer!

Cool trip

Try suggesting that the teacher take the whole class to a camp site or another city. Schoolchildren love to go on trips like this! Because it gives everyone the opportunity to be together, get closer, communicate and open up, both to you and the guys.

Be yourself

Trite advice, but it works! There is no need to imitate anyone, because you are you! Watch a couple of films about school and make sure that your individuality is priceless. Even if you decide to start life with " clean slate"When changing your image, stress cannot be avoided. Your classmates will see that you are nervous and may make you look like a black sheep.

Music First wishes you good luck in your new team!

Jump, run, swim, catch, climb - and then suddenly read, write, count, sit, perform... Stress from September 1 is an inevitable thing. But it increases many times if the child goes to a new school. How should he behave in order to gain the authority of his classmates and not become a black sheep?

19:14 13.01.2013

It so happened that last year I was forced to take my third-grader son out of his previous school and transfer him to a new one, closer to home. For Andrey it became a real tragedy. He knew his former classmates since kindergarten, was friends with many, he was respected and considered a leader. I parted, without exaggeration, with tears in my eyes - both with students and teachers. And all summer he was worried about how he would be received at his new school.

On September 1, the son woke up and said that he would not go anywhere. My husband and I begged and persuaded him - he didn’t even want to get out of bed. He had to voluntarily and compulsorily wash and dress, and dad took him - tear-stained, with red eyes - to a new class. I, myself, am not a big fan of new companies, with horror I imagined how difficult it would be for him to join the team that had formed over three years with its own leaders and morals. I came up with words with which I would console him and persuade him to go to class the next day. With a heavy heart I came to meet him at school. And what? My boy, who just a few hours ago did not want to let go of his father’s hand in front of the classroom door, ran out joyful, satisfied, surrounded by guys, and began excitedly talking about how great the first day was...

Of course, 4th grade is not 9th grade, children get to know each other more easily and get along. But this is not preschool age, when you can walk up to anyone on the playground and start talking about yourself. Boys and girls are already shy and worried about the impression they make on others. Not everyone manages to suppress shyness, show friendliness and demonstrate their strengths. Much also depends on the teacher - whether she will be able to gently introduce a newcomer to the team. We were lucky: Galina Pavlovna Ivanus, a teacher with 45 years of experience, was able to introduce Andrey in such a way that the guys recognized him as one of their own on the very first day. I asked Galina Pavlovna to talk about how to make it easier for a student to get used to a new class and help him adapt.

Build bridges

“A child feels everything the same as an adult. You will be comfortable in a new environment, among strangers? “Hardly,” says Galina Pavlovna. - To understand what a child is going through, imagine yourself in his place - for example, when moving to new job. How would you behave?

Firstly, I would probably talk to the boss and ask about the team. Secondly, perhaps she found a reason to meet one of her future colleagues a little earlier. “So with a new child, before the start of classes, go to the teacher, get to know each other, tell them about your son or daughter. She will show him or her the class, the school, tell him about the peculiarities of studying in this particular institution, about the children who study here. Then the future student will not be so confused on September 1,” the teacher advises. It would be a good idea to take the phone numbers of the parents of two or three active students and chat with them as well. Ask what the kids in the class are interested in, what they collect, what sections they attend. Maybe someone will agree to meet - then your child will come to school, where he will already have a friend.

Parent support

No matter how much we encourage our child, no matter how much we inspire him that “everything will be fine,” and tell him that we have been in his shoes, this will not solve the problem. For the child, the upcoming situation is a real test, and he is not reassured by the fact that his parents once successfully went through the same thing. Psychologist Lesya Antonova suggests reducing a child’s anxiety using the following techniques.

Guardian angel. To a future first-grader who is afraid of being without his parents, tell the story that an invisible guardian angel will sit on his shoulder, who will help in case of difficulties and will not give Masha (Petya) offense to anyone. And if the baby is uncomfortable, you can talk to him quietly. Explain that each of us has a guardian angel, that he protects us from troubles and that we can rely on him. It's good to read a prayer together.

Positive scenario. Ask your child to talk about an ideal day at a new school. How does he see it? This story should be in the present tense: “I enter the class, everyone is looking at me, etc.” Let him repeat it before going to bed. By voicing what he wants, a person programs a positive scenario.

A double is going to school. It happens that a child had a negative experience in a previous school - he was offended, not noticed, not recognized. Now he is very afraid of repeating the plot. Moving to a new place of study is a chance to build new relationships with both teachers and classmates, and correct your mistakes. Let the child tell you how he would like to be - sociable, cheerful, knowledgeable. And then he will imagine that he has turned into his double with such a wonderful character. The double is not afraid to joke, make acquaintances, smile at girls or boys. And in any situation that causes fear in a child, his double acts... Note also that in the new school no one knows about his failures and no one will look at him as a black sheep.

Mascot. Before leaving home, give the student some small change as a talisman that brings good luck: plaster figurine, coin, decoration. And accompany him that day at least to the school gates.

They meet you by their clothes

The attitude towards a new person is always wary: what kind of animal is it, how will it behave? But, on the other hand, he has advantages: he is the center of attention, all eyes are on him, his personality arouses interest that other classmates have not aroused for a long time. How he shows himself now will determine his place in the class: the first impression is the strongest. If the children decide that he is an authority, then this will last for a long time. If you are given a label - “upstart”, “clown”, “princess” - then you will have to make a lot of effort to get rid of it. Therefore, the moment of the first meeting is very important.

For younger schoolchildren, how exactly the teacher introduces the new student and introduces him to the team will play a big role. “Having learned in advance about the student’s hobbies, I briefly characterize him in front of the class,” says Galina Pavlovna. “I ask the children to understand his feelings and remember how they themselves were beginners.” Then all the students stand in a circle, say their names, shake hands and smile. This welcoming atmosphere allows them to relax. On the first day, I try to give the newcomer the opportunity to express himself and his talents; I challenge him in class if he shows his hand. When we play outdoor games during breaks, I give him leadership. This makes it easier for children to accept it.”

High school students don't play games during breaks. And here it depends only on the teenager how he will be received. Best Tactics, on the advice of Lesya Antonova, do not try to immediately open up and gain trust, but behave in a friendly, relaxed, but at the same time modest manner. “Each class has its own hierarchy and its own rules. It is important to show the newcomer that he is ready to accept them. It's bad to isolate yourself - there is a risk of remaining unnoticed. But there is no need to get into trouble, showing how smart and cool you are - they don’t like upstarts. Don’t try to please everyone, don’t curry favor with anyone.

After the summer, the guys will share their impressions and laugh. Don’t stand on the sidelines, come up and ask: “Can I listen too?” Listen, nod, smile, but don’t interrupt or get involved in the conversation unless asked. If they don’t ask, there’s no need. The less they know about you now, the more interest in you,” the psychologist gives “survival tips” to teenagers.

To melt the crust of ice that has fenced him off from the class, a newcomer can ask the kids to show him around the school, ask where the canteen is, whether the food is good there, who teaches physical education, whether there are any extracurricular activities at the school, etc. Before going home, be sure to say goodbye to everyone: “Happy guys (girls), see you tomorrow!”, “Bye-bye everyone!”, thereby demonstrating your positive attitude and desire to join the company.

It is worth noting that the socialization of boys and girls occurs differently. Girls are more friendly, they will more easily accept a new girl if she does not stand out too brightly against their background. The boys will begin to provoke the new student, become bullying, and may even have to fight. But it's better to do without it. Advise your son to behave affably, but to strictly suppress “attacks” and insults.

How to stand out without standing out

The first day is over - the worst is over. But there is also a second, third, fourth... And here the child faces a difficult task: to attract attention, to force the team to respect themselves, but not to be branded as a braggart and an upstart.

Everyone is looking for how to demonstrate their strengths. Parents can advise, guide, help prepare for lessons, find additional material to make the student interested in the class interesting message or surprised by knowledge of a foreign language. My son benefited from his good drawing skills: on the theme “How I spent my summer,” he depicted himself with his grandfather in the aviation museum - and this drawing attracted everyone’s attention. Someone sings well, someone runs or long jumps well, someone recites poetry beautifully - let the child not be afraid to express himself. His skill will not go unnoticed and will certainly arouse approval and even admiration (even against the backdrop of envy, which is a normal phenomenon among both children and adults).

But teachers warn against gaining false authority by bragging about things (latest model mobile phone, expensive shoes), parents’ achievements (“And my dad…”), life’s blessings (“Yes, everyone in our family has a car,” “We live in a cool area.” "). Firstly, there are probably children in the class who live much more modestly: they will feel depressed, which means they will immediately dislike the braggart. Secondly, even if this is a “cool” school where such conversations are the norm, you need to teach the child not to encourage materialism and to value people for their personal qualities, and not for the cost and prestige of the objects around them. Explain to your son or daughter that in a situation where children boast about material values, it is better to simply remain silent or answer evasively: “No worse than the rest,” “We live like everyone else,” “Enough,” “Enough” (of money in the family), “Not the worst” (mobile, car). And if they start to “take it lightly,” answer: “I just don’t attach much importance to it.”

If it is not accepted

The reason usually lies in the child himself. Most often, withdrawn and uncommunicative children or, conversely, bright individuals who are very different from others become outcasts. Any trait that distinguishes a child from his peers, both in appearance and in character, can provoke “special treatment” from classmates. Excessive obesity, glasses, stuttering, excessive slowness or hot temper - and the newcomer is given offensive nicknames, not accepted into the game, teased.

“When I see that a student is withdrawn, keeps aloof from everyone, I give him the leading role in games, setting him as an example for others,” says Galina Pavlovna. “It is important for a teacher to find the strengths in each student and highlight them.” She advises: if your son or daughter had communication problems at their previous school, you should notify the teacher about this in advance - he will be more attentive and tactful.

In this situation, it is important for parents to help the child form a positive self-esteem, to convince him that he is not only no worse than other children, but also has a number of talents that he can be proud of. With your support, he will be able to win the interest of his classmates. Organize with your husband, for example, a trip to the forest for the whole class - with a fire, kulesh, and songs. Enroll your son or daughter in playing the guitar or modern dancing - these skills always raise authority among teenagers. Have a party at home and invite the company your child wants to join. If you or your husband are photographers, you can organize a fun outdoor photo shoot for the guys. Take the class on a tour of your businesses... Lots of ideas. It is important not to leave the child aside with his problems, but to take part in his life, instilling in him that he is capable, strong and will achieve a lot. Self-confidence will allow him not to get lost and find his place - both in the classroom and in life.

Should I change school?

Moving to a new place of study is a serious stress for a child. But at the same time good hardening. We asked people who changed schools as children to remember their feelings.

Alla Mart, 35 years old, PR specialist

I learned to observe

I had to change schools three times: in the 3rd, 5th and 9th grades. The most difficult transition, perhaps, was from 4th to 5th grade. Because we moved to a different area, and besides, the education system had changed - we had to get used to not only the students, but also the teachers. But I was lucky: I easily fit into groups, we met often good people. I think it was a great experience - now I can easily join any company, changing jobs is not a challenge for me. I developed a “newbie position”: not to be active at first, but to calmly observe and analyze. My only regret is that due to frequent transitions, I don’t have friends, as they say, from the sandbox.

Anton Morgunenko, 30 years old, business coach

Didn't repeat the school mistake

I changed four schools, in the 7th, 10th, and 11th grade. The most difficult was the first transition. Why? In my previous school, I immediately took an authoritative position, because I had the loudest voice and was the tallest. And although my character is not aggressive, all the cocky guys tried to gain my favor.

Having moved to a new school, I, as I now understand, used the usual model of behavior and expected everyone’s favor. But, of course, everything did not go so smoothly. I even had to fight. I remember my mother was told at a parent-teacher meeting: “Your son rode into class on our most cocky student” (and I literally rode him after the fight). Then there were two more translations. And also difficult.

And after about 15 years, in adult life, I found myself in a similar situation, but this time I solved it differently. I needed to join an already established work team as a commercial director. I did not repeat my school mistake and joined the group without “mental fights” and hostility. I believe that changing schools is a lesson in developing adaptability and emotional intelligence. The lesson is often harsh. After it, the child can become both more withdrawn and more charismatic.

Aigul Kozak, 31 years old, bank employee

Pioneers accepted twice

My father was a military man, and as a child I often moved with my parents from city to city, but I don’t remember changing schools causing any particular problems. I studied excellently, and it helped me out. After all, the program is all over Soviet Union was identical, that is, in all schools they studied the same thing and using the same textbooks. It turned out that it was necessary to join only a new crowd, but not educational process. There were, of course, incidents, for example, I was accepted into the Pioneers twice, but in both schools I was in the forefront for good academic performance.

Probably now it is not so easy for parents to change schools for their children: different programs, textbooks, schools different levels... Although, having become a mother, I realized that the main thing is the parental attitude. If the mother is positive and not afraid of difficulties, then everything will work out for the child, regardless of whether he changes schools or studies in one from first grade to last.

How to determine that he is on the sidelines

Even good grades are not a guarantee that a child has found a place in the team. You can determine that he has problems with communication at the new school by the following signs.

  • The son or daughter goes to school with obvious reluctance, and waits for the weekend, starting on Monday.
  • His classmates never call him, and he never calls anyone.
  • He goes home straight after school and never stays to play with his friends.
  • He has been studying at his new school for several weeks now, and you still don’t know anyone from his class.
  • He answers all questions about the school reluctantly, saying that the previous one was better.
  • I began to feel particularly complex about my appearance or the lack of certain attributes (mobile phone of the wrong model, old sneakers, etc.).

NB! It is very important to have a heart-to-heart talk. You may need the help of a psychologist. The situation cannot be ignored: after all, the strongest complexes are formed in childhood.

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