Hello, dear readers! Recently a client came to me with terrible problems with her now elderly mother. She just can’t establish communication with her, she constantly swears, criticizes her, and her age makes itself felt. Today I want to talk to you about what senile aggression is, what to do and how to help your elderly relative. Let's try to figure out where aggression comes from in old people: is it just a character trait or a manifestation of an illness?

Old age is not a joy

Being young and healthy is wonderful. Nothing hurts, your mood and physical condition do not depend on the weather, you wake up easily in the morning, you can easily run a short distance. But with age problems begin. And problems begin not only with the physical condition, but also appear psychological problems.

I bring to your attention some symptoms that accompany normal aging, without the manifestation of any serious diseases. These manifestations are typical for older people, but do not forget that in some cases they can be a signal that the person is seriously ill, but we will talk about this in more detail later.

Deterioration of short-term memory. Have you noticed how old people constantly lose their glasses, forget to take their medicine on time, and don’t remember what they just heard? In addition, older people often have a narrower range of interests. They begin to limit themselves to a small number of dishes, the wardrobe becomes smaller, the desire to change clothes gradually disappears. Moreover, a certain carelessness in appearance and indifference to hygiene may appear.

As for physical indicators, here we are talking about a slowdown in some mental processes. For example, a slow reaction to external stimuli, such as a car horn or a strong and bad smell. Old people recognize colors and sounds worse. It is difficult to teach an elderly person something new.

But what is more interesting is that in old age negative character traits begin to strongly manifest themselves. For example, if a person during his lifetime was prudent in matters of money and economical, then in old age he may well become like Scrooge Ebanezer from A Christmas Story.

Often, with age, relationships with loved ones begin to deteriorate due to strong touchiness. Remember that in old age there are fears of death, loneliness, a feeling that you have been abandoned and no one needs you.

Where does aggression come from?

So, we have already realized that aggression can be a common manifestation of old age. When a person’s most unpleasant character traits begin to burst out.

It is difficult for an elderly person to quickly adapt, he has his own way of life, he needs less and less, he argues more often, insists on his own, does not even agree with obvious facts, because he is used to thinking and acting in a certain way.

But besides this, aggression can be a symptom of the onset of senile insanity, dementia or depression. And it is very important to notice changes in your relative’s behavior in time in order to accept necessary measures. Let's look at each disease separately and see what character traits are present in every case.

Senile dementia and dementia are approximately similar in their symptoms. Dementia may begin to manifest itself as unreasonable fears, selfishness, or other behavioral deviations from the usual state. Often these diseases are accompanied by sleep disturbances, increased anxiety and causeless worry.

But the most obvious signs of the disease are problems with memory and thinking, a lack of logic in reasoning, a person gets confused in words, spatial disorientation appears, and over time the person’s very personality begins to be erased. Such old people are very annoying and intrusive in communication, their reaction is completely inadequate to the situation.

Senile depression manifests itself somewhat differently. Here the person is in a depressed, depressed state, but most likely he will not ask for help, because he does not want to change anything in his routine. Indifference to what is happening, absence emotional reactions. But at the same time, he has a grudge against everyone and everything around him, against his family, against the state, against the younger generation.

More often than not, depression is accompanied by a negative outlook on everything that happens. Such old people are always grumbling, expressing dissatisfaction with them, it is impossible to please them. As for the physical state, ordinary pain will be perceived brighter and stronger with depression. In addition, the slightest stress can cause a heart attack, severely disrupt heartbeat or cause a hypertensive crisis.

How to proceed

In any case, regardless of the symptoms that you notice in your relative, I strongly recommend that you contact a neurologist who will conduct a full examination, take the necessary tests and tell you exactly about the health of your elderly relative.

It’s good if everything is in order and no serious diseases are detected. Then you just have to be patient and be as calm as possible around the person. He needs your support and care, understanding and attention, which is most important in old age.

If it turns out that your old man has signs of a serious illness, the doctor will choose the most appropriate course of treatment and prescribe the necessary medications. Do not self-medicate under any circumstances. Some medications can only make things worse. For example, valocordin impairs memory and reduces intelligence when taken for a long time. Be very careful.

If it is very difficult for you to cope with the constant aggression of your relative, then I first recommend that you read the articles “” and “”. Both articles have nothing to do with senile aggression, but they will definitely help you understand how to behave with a person with whom it is very difficult to communicate.

Moreover, don’t be lazy and read the book by A. Tolstoy and N.J. Smelser " Psychology of old age. Reader" Perhaps it will help you better understand your elderly relative, because we have not yet been given the opportunity to understand what they are really experiencing, how scared they are and why they feel unwanted.

How does your relative's aggression manifest itself? What topics are especially difficult for you to talk about? Do you allow yourself to raise your voice and how does this help solve the problem? Have you gone to the doctor?

Patience and peace to you. Remember, you too will sooner or later become an old person.
All the best!

Elderly parents

From this article you will learn:

Why is it so difficult for parents who live with their children to care for the elderly?

How to provide care for elderly parents

Who can help elderly parents besides you?

How to arrange support for elderly parents

How care for older people is shown in the West

Why private boarding houses for the elderly in Russia are better than Western ones

Life goes on, our parents grow old, become sick, and need constant care and attention. If they live separately, you can move them to your own apartment or house. If the parents do not agree or the conditions do not allow, you will have to visit them every day. But children have their own family and work. What to do in this case?

What happens when aging parents and their children live together

When old parents live with their children, it is quite a difficult test for everyone. Different generations have their own needs, habits and rhythm of life. Parents need to be constantly looked after; they need someone's presence. Accordingly, children are tied to home and cannot build their lives normally.

Often old man becomes incapacitated . He begins to exist at a primitive level, so it becomes difficult to establish contact with him. No matter how old we are, our parents raised and educated us, so there is a feeling that our parents are higher on the hierarchical ladder. In old age, parents behave like children, which complicates relationships between generations. As a result, all this leads to a change in the attitude of loved ones towards them, especially those who look after them.

One woman spent many years caring for her mother, who could not walk and was constantly in bed. Although she herself had three adult children who lived separately with their families. Then the woman lost her husband. She was constantly housebound because she could not leave an elderly woman alone in the apartment for more than 3-4 hours. Her mother lived a long time, despite her illness. With age, the sick mother became aggressive, embittered towards the whole world, although she had been kind to everyone all her life. This can be explained development of senile insanity . In addition, many older people perceive old age as a death sentence.

Parental cruelty (physical, psychological violence) is scary. Old sick parents can behave aggressively, and the older they are, the more aggressive they become . Elderly parents can insult their children and attack them with their fists. It all ends in scandal. Children, despite their mature age, respond to their parents with the same aggression.

Let's face it, our parents are getting old and of course we want to show care and look after them. Our parents raised us and also took care of us when we were little. But anyway there is a way to cope with parental aggression - adapt to the current situation . In other words, when parents start fighting, go to another room or out of the house for a few hours.

Caring for aging parents with aggressive outbursts

Need to know the reasons abusive parental behavior. You can only find out the reasons through a medical examination or consultation with a professional doctor. Then you will know for sure whether your parent has Alzheimer's disease or whether he is unhappy in your home and is very worried about the death of his spouse.

In any situation keep calm and try not to overreact to your parents' behavior. The worst thing you can do is react emotionally to insults. Remember that these are your beloved parents. Do not shout and under no circumstances respond with mutual insults.

When does an elderly person have good mood, talk to him . Be honest, tell him that his behavior is ugly and it is affecting your relationship. Tell him that you love him, but also make it clear that his actions are unacceptable.

Sometimes you should take short breaks in communication (1-2 days). Try to relax during this period, relax with your family, go to the cinema. Be alone if necessary.

remember, that You are not alone in this problem . You can go to meetings and find out how other people deal with a similar situation. There are also volunteer organizations that can help you look after and care for a sick person.

Who can help elderly parents besides you?

Caring for sick parents requires from you patience, effort. It is not easy. Accept help from brothers and sisters, do not deal with the problem alone. It happens that tragedies in the family bring relatives closer together, and this can cost a lot. Swap responsibilities: When you are at work, let someone else take care of your parent.

The most important thing is to organize everything correctly:

Your opinion may not coincide with the opinion of your brother or sister. Learn to respect the other person's position . After all, he strives to help your loved one.

Don't think about old age and death your parent. This is inevitable, so don't be discouraged.

If you have had conflicts before, forget about them in favor of a good relationship at the moment. Resolve conflicts and make peace in the present .

Everyone has a family, work, and other responsibilities that require a lot of time. It’s difficult to fit care for a sick person into your schedule, so Set your priorities and set realistic goals .

Take breaks : provide care for the sick person to one of your relatives. During this time, spend time with your family. This way you can gain strength.

Be compassionate to the parent so that he feels your love. This is important for him, especially in a difficult period of his life. Be gentle and grateful, remember what your parents did for you.

Brothers and sisters can help you in caring for a sick person, you just need to evaluate the capabilities of each of them.

Also to patient care can be attracted social worker or family doctor. Agree on your decision with your relatives.

After visiting your parents, call them and exchange information about their well-being. Those closest to you should be aware.

Periodically get together with the whole family . Think together about how you can help your parents and how to properly care for them. This way you can avoid many difficulties. Even if you live far from each other, look for compromises. Get together and discuss pressing issues.

Don't be shy to ask for help from loved ones. Just let them know that you need them. If they refuse for some reason, don't blame them.

If you plan your parent's care together with your siblings, the whole process will be much easier. Take care and love your parents.

How to arrange support for elderly parents

Get help from a social worker

The district guardianship department provides such assistance. You just need to come and write an application. But you need to take into account that not all older people will agree to accept a stranger into their home.

The social worker will visit the patient for an hour or two a day and not every day. This approach cannot be called high-quality care and full-fledged assistance.

Hire a caregiver

This option better than the first, but you need to understand that the nurse is a stranger. Your parent may be afraid of meeting new people or having strangers in their apartment. Therefore, this option is also imperfect.

Register old people in a nursing home (state)

In a nursing home, your parent is unlikely to be cared for. To get there, you need to prepare a large number of documents, which may discourage your desire. In addition, as a rule, vouchers to such houses are given primarily to lonely old people. Your parents may be completely against a nursing home. In other words, the state home for the disabled is not very appropriate place for beloved parents.

Registration of parents in a private boarding house for the elderly

Enough suitable option, if there are elderly people in the family who need care. Take your parents to a boarding house, and they may not even want to come home. The private boarding house provides professional medical care and organizes leisure activities for older people.

A large number of documents and time for registration are not required . And the cost of services is quite reasonable. But you will be sure that your parents are under reliable supervision, well fed, washed and take their medications on schedule. Your peace of mind is guaranteed.

How care for elderly parents is manifested in the West

In Western countries, many elderly people spend their old age in private boarding houses. The owners of such boarding houses are interested in old people living long and feeling good, otherwise the business will not generate income. Content elderly people children or even the elderly themselves pay. Relatives can visit patients and observe how they are cared for. Boarding house owners strive to retain clients , since there are competitors, as in any other business.

Living conditions are decent . Every day, elderly people are taken to the shower, bed linen is changed and clothes are changed. Everywhere is clean. Clients can read books, watch TV, or go for a walk. Every day they go to classes that help maintain memory and intelligence. They are visited by artists and lecturers. If you are planning a family holiday, you can pick up your relative from the boarding house. For example, to celebrate a birthday or anniversary with family.

Believe me in private boarding houses , indeed, everything is civilized, excellent living conditions have been created . Most old people want to feel attention from loved ones. It depends on you and all your relatives. Some people visit loved ones every weekend, while others visit them very rarely.

Why private boarding houses in Russia are better than Western ones

And in Russia there are special boarding houses for caring for the elderly. As a rule, they are a comfortable hotel with a certain range of medical services provided. Boarding houses can be located outside the city, but not very far. Then it will be convenient for relatives to come to their parents.

If the parent is disabled, this is not a problem. Modern boarding houses are equipped with everything necessary equipment. For people with disabilities provide special care And various events for rehabilitation. This is important for those who have suffered injury or serious illnesses and surgeries. It is also important that all clients are in the community. This may be even more important than medical care.

If old man lives alone in an apartment, he is isolated from society. And loneliness can contribute to the depletion of vitality. In boarding houses, people communicate, cultural programs are organized for them, concerts are held, master classes are held, and films are shown.

Unfortunately, such boarding houses have a negative image in Russia, unlike in the West. Failure Money and professional people led to the fact that Russian houses elderly care facilities are in no way similar to a typical Western boarding house. The only advantage is low price. But the price in a private boarding house is not much different from the state one. Moreover, the private boarding house has everything: and care, food, and medical assistance. Of course it costs more. But on health, well-being and mood loved one no one will save.

What are the advantages and disadvantages of private boarding houses:

More qualified staff who is able to provide quality care (better than a nurse). Boarding houses are equipped with the necessary equipment that you cannot install at home even if you wanted to. Besides professional nurses, the residents are cared for by many doctors of various specialties. A nurse can only support the comfort and vital functions of the patient, but in boarding houses there is a greater emphasis on improving the quality of life of people.

The boarding houses are being developed rehabilitation programs for patients to restore lost functions. The staff organizes leisure and entertainment for clients, the cooks prepare healthy food, and the people around them do not allow the old man to feel lonely.

Can be developed individual program , which will take into account the needs and physical capabilities of guests.

At the boarding house you can stay for several days, months or permanently . You can also organize rehabilitation courses of varying durations.

There is a nurse for every client , which he will like because the staff is large.

Currently, the choice of boarding house is not limited to two or three, there are already a large number of . Over the past 10 years, boarding houses have become increasingly popular, so new ones are opening almost every day. To find a decent place, you need to spend a certain amount of time and effort . Just looking at the boarding house’s website is not enough; you need to come and see it in person, talk to the staff and the guests themselves.

Not all older people will happily accept your idea transport them to a boarding house. This is due to the fact that they imagine a boarding house as a gloomy place, a nursing home. It will be good if you take your relative with you so that he can look at the living conditions in the boarding house.

Presentation in social studies"Morality is the basis of life. Workshop." intended for teachers and students 6th grade(UMK L.N. Bogolyubova), academic textbook, Federal State Educational Standard-2. It is a synthesis of several sources, which allows us to reveal the topic under consideration as diversely and as closely as possible to the Program and course of the subject "Social Studies. Grade 6". Displays not only meaningful, scientific, but emotional side of the issues under consideration is easily refracted into a supporting summary. The presentation option allows both the teacher and students to work in different modes.

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“Morality is the basis of life. Workshop. Lesson-presentation on social studies, 6th grade, Federal State Educational Standard-2"

Social studies, 6th grade

Lesson No. 28-29

Workshop on the topic “Moral foundations of life”

D.Z.: repeat individually § 10-12, tasks (p. 104-105);

know for the lesson § 1-12

© A.I. Kolmakov

Lesson Objectives

• Create conditions to consolidate students’ knowledge on the topic “Moral foundations of life”;
• Summarize acquired knowledge about goodness, humanity, courage as virtues.
• Develop the ability to analyze media materials, evaluate the situations described in them from the point of view of virtues.
• Create conditions to expand and reflect on one’s own experience of showing attention to people in need.

Universal learning activities

• Will learn: analyze your actions and attitudes towards people around you.
• They will receive opportunity to learn: work with textbook text; express own opinion, judgments.
• Define your personal position, an adequate differentiated self-assessment of your success.

Concepts, terms

• humanity;
• humanism;
• fear;
• courage;
• fearlessness;
• virtues

Workshop plan

• Humanism and humanity are all around us.
• They conquered fear.
• Hurry to do good.

Have I completed the assignments in the textbook?

1. Prepare for the next lesson and bring a homemade poster to class and write on it all the variations of the golden rule of morality that you know (you can offer this to a group of children).

2. Keep a notebook and write down all the birthdays of your loved ones and friends. And of course, don’t forget to congratulate them.

3. Take the initiative: peel the vegetables for the soup - potatoes, carrots, onions. Take out the trash.

4. Show concern for your old or sick neighbor: buy and bring him bread, kefir, milk.

5. Don’t turn the music on too loud, take care of the peace of your family and neighbors.

6. Smile at the friend with whom you had an argument yesterday. Make peace with him.

7. Feed a stray cat or dog.

8. Make a list of your good deeds around the house. Discuss it with your loved ones and start taking action.

Let's work together

Reading analysis of the poem “You can live in different ways in life...”

– What does the word "virtue" mean?

– What does it mean to be virtuous?

– What do the last lines of the poem symbolize?

There are different ways to live in life -

You can be in trouble

Or maybe - in joy,

Eat on time, drink on time,

Do nasty things on time.

Or you can do this:

Get up at dawn -

And, thinking about a miracle,

With a burnt hand, reach for the sun

And give it to people.

S. Ostrovoy

We work in pairs

What word do we contrast with the word “virtue”?

We build and fill out the table. "Virtue and Vice"

We work individually

We work in notebooks. Let's compare the results.

Write “My top five…”:

1) despised qualities of a person’s personality;

2) close people;

3) fun and funny events in life;

4) phenomena in life that you hate;

5) the main things you dream of doing in life;

6) the greatest values

Let's discuss it together

http://deti.dobryeludi.ru/

Let's work together

Branch in Russia

reflection

• What did you learn?
• How?
• What have you learned?
• What difficulties did you experience?
• Was the lesson interesting?

What is caring? It seems that we have been familiar with this word since childhood, but sometimes it is still quite difficult to define it. Are we confusing caring with paying attention? This term is usually understood as any action the purpose of which is the protection and well-being of any living beings, often defenseless or weak. But the circle of wards can be interpreted very broadly and vaguely. There is even concern for objects that require complex care, for example, about computers or cars. But in this article we will focus mainly on attention to living beings.

Historical definition

The ancient Romans knew about what care is. In Latin there are even two words for these actions. These are tutio and tueor. The first of them means security, protection, care. The essence of the second comes down to the concepts of “keep an eye on, observe.” In Roman law higher value was given precisely to the “master's eye”. The fact is that in this ancient empire great value had property. It was interpreted very broadly, often including children, slaves and the family as a whole. A prudent attitude towards property, including living property, was a trait not only of a good owner and master, but also of a Roman citizen as such. Cicero also wrote that a person who does not care about his small community, that is, his family, will not value the good of the state. Therefore, the squanderer of property - the “prodigal son” from the Gospel - was equated with a madman.

Philosophical definition

What is care from a thinker's point of view? In German philosophy, this term moved from the category of ethics to the category of universal ones. This is especially true for existentialism. Caring in this philosophical direction was first considered by Heidegger, who recognized it as a fundamental feeling of human existence. People are constantly in anxiety and fear for themselves, their loved ones, property and plans. Therefore, care is the main mode and reason for their activity, which is sometimes completely meaningless. After Heidegger, other European philosophers of this direction began to write about this ethical concept, in particular Sartre and Camus, but they gave it a more practical meaning. The concept of “ultimate concern,” that is, concern about the final goal of life, is also characteristic of the theology of late Protestantism. Paul Tillich, in particular, talks a lot about this. That is why care has, as it were, two definitions - positive (trouble, care) and negative (worry, fear). Both of them are reflected in explanatory dictionaries.

Political definition

The modern state is not only and not so much an apparatus of violence. It must also take care of people. First of all, this is special attention to the needs of those groups of the population that are defenseless and not very competitive in relation to others. These are children, the elderly, people with disabilities, the sick, minorities who may become victims of discrimination. By how the society around them treats such groups, one can judge their level of civilization. It is not for nothing that in many countries there are volunteers who visit the sick, children in shelters, and selflessly provide them with assistance. This is especially valuable in cases where the state does not have the means or political will to cover all those in need with its care.

This word has many synonyms, each of which reflects some aspect of it. This includes care, zeal, attention, and desire to help. All these terms speak of a person’s willingness to do good, his responsiveness and empathy towards others. Attention to someone who is cared for also indicates love and respect for him. It is not without reason that writers and philosophers have repeatedly argued that these qualities help humanity remain in unity and give us at least a tiny hope for the existence of a society based, if not on love, then at least on mutual respect. But there is a difference between these synonyms. For example, while caring can be instinctive, attention is usually purposeful. In addition, care also contains negative motives, for example, fear. It is based on the fear of losing something now or in the future.

This is one of the basic instincts in both humans and animals. Weak and defenseless children would not survive without the care of their parents and elders. We can say that the presence of this instinct is a prerequisite for the preservation of the genus or species. Psychologists note that such care is most often characteristic of women. It comes from within, not from without, and is realized as a result of a strong desire. When we're talking about about men, they often in such cases talk more about duty and responsibility. But, of course, human care for offspring is not only an instinct. Love, cultural paradigm, and social role models can all be mechanisms for the manifestation of child care.

We are all subject to aging. Even very active parents, when old age comes or overcome inevitable illnesses, become sluggish, sometimes it is difficult for them to even move independently. Then they become dependent on us. And it’s not about money, but about our presence, a kind word. People who are approaching death step by step really need our love. And we have to take custody of them, take on the inverse role, and become a parent ourselves own father or mother. But we don’t always succeed in being caring and gentle towards them. After all modern society- This is often a collection of lonely egoists. And we always have no time, we have our own worries, we brush off our elderly parents, postponing everything to “later.” And this moment may never come. Therefore, a truly caring mother should not forget to develop in her children empathy and a desire to care for the weak and help them.

Caring for pets

This kind of attention and love is an extremely necessary quality. After all, your pets are like children who are completely dependent on you and will never grow up. Dogs and cats need to be brushed regularly, fed properly and in a balanced manner, regularly taken to the veterinarian, not beaten, of course, but educated. And most importantly - pay attention to them, talk to them, play, walk and remember that you are responsible for them! Such care most often turns out to be disinterested. If in a situation with caring for children or parents we can talk about instinct or public respect, that is, about worries about their future or status, then, taking care of dogs and cats, especially sick and old ones, people often do not receive either social or material goods, but on the contrary, they lose them. This means that caring is fundamentally selfless.

What does lack of care or its excess lead to?

Lack of attention and lowering the threshold of responsibility, especially in relation to children and animals, can lead to catastrophic consequences. This is a thesis that does not need any proof, it is obvious. We contemplate the results of this behavior every day. Street children and abandoned animals are just the tip of the iceberg. Illness, death, including early death, aggressiveness, hidden or obvious hatred of one’s own kind - these are the main consequences of a lack of attention to living beings. But if care is expressed too intensely and out of place, then this can also lead to negative consequences. Often the one who receives such attention takes it for granted and stops thinking about it. independent life. Such a person can become a real domestic tyrant. On the other hand, an overly caring mother, who takes care of the children at every step and does not want to come to terms with the fact that they are growing up, suppresses their will. They either grow up spineless and incapable of accepting independent decisions, or they begin to protest in adolescence, and then real family wars begin in the house. Therefore, care should not develop into humiliation of either the one being cared for or the one who is paying attention.

Age gives not only experience and wisdom. Over time, kind, sympathetic people with a good sense of humor, who know how to beautifully formulate their thoughts, can change beyond recognition. Often the passing years make a person rude, unsociable and touchy. Some simple tips about how to communicate with elderly parents will help you overcome a difficult period and provide your loved ones with decent care.

The importance of proper communication with elderly parents

The life of each family is individual, and, of course, in addition to joyful events, there are a number of problems. Many people live with elderly parents (their own or their husband's/wife's) and face misunderstandings, quarrels and growing tension in their relationships. It is best to immediately figure out why the elderly person is dissatisfied and try to come to an understanding.

As we age, we do not grow colder towards our parents. Just your own life experience and the rapidly changing environment make adjustments to relationships. In fact, there is no child who stops loving his parents over the years, but their behavior often becomes the cause of quarrels and scandals. They may demand constant attention, despite your busyness, and get offended over trifles, including if you cannot be there. Adult children want to visit their parents as often as possible, but this does not always work out. As a result, grievances brew, the time of visits is reduced, which leads to psychological stress between dear and close people. Anyone who has encountered such a situation has asked themselves the question: how to communicate with elderly parents? How to become more tolerant, more restrained in relation to the changed behavior of your mother or father, and also how to help your relationship? Let's begin to explore this difficult topic from the very origins of the problems.

Reasons for dissatisfaction among elderly parents

Feelings of loneliness and abandonment

There are probably no older people who would not believe that they are abandoned by everyone. You can add to this age-related changes– sclerosis and partial memory loss. As a rule, older people enjoy communicating with their children, since this is the only outlet that connects them with reality. The opportunity to see loved ones often is the main joy in life, so you shouldn’t deprive them of this. They will be happy to listen about your victories and achievements, but often do not remember the essence of the conversation. There is so little free time in our lives, but always try to find a few minutes for such a conversation.

Desire to take care of your grown children

As parents age, they become more and more detached from reality, and for them you remain babies who need to be taken care of. Don't get annoyed about this. You just need to accept reality as it is and try to surround your dads and moms with care. Don’t forget that before you retired, your loved ones had their own social circle, but over the years it has sharply narrowed and only you remain in it. This situation often becomes the root cause of irritation and even aggression.

You will forever remain a child to your parents, and nothing can be done about it. Over the years, communication will follow the usual pattern, and you, like many years ago, will be given advice on how to dress, what to buy and where to study/work. There is no need to make a tragedy out of this. Irritation at their comments will only worsen the negative state of affairs. The desire to prove that you are right will lead nowhere - the negativity will only increase. A little tact, and you can easily avoid sharp corners in a conversation.

Forgetfulness

Communication can become big problem, because older people don't remember what you said just a few minutes ago. Problems may arise with the lights not turned off, water or other dangerous forgetting, for example, your residential address. This happens due to changes in brain activity, so in such situations, the only thing left to do is to increase control.

When communicating, an elderly person wants to talk about exactly those problems that seem important to him. Often such a conversation reminds broken record, because older people remember better what happened to them in their youth, and completely ignore pressing problems. You shouldn't get angry at them for this, you just need to be more patient. Give your parents a few minutes and once again listen to a familiar monologue.

Vulnerability

Communication with older people often becomes a big problem, since they are very vulnerable and can get upset over trifles. Many, especially women, any remark about their appearance or behavior is perceived as an insult. What is a trifle for you may seem like a real tragedy to an elderly person, and the conversation may go in an undesirable direction. Hysterics, screaming and insults often become the causes of nervous breakdowns. Try to maintain tact in your conversation and not offend your loved ones with an accidentally thrown phrase.

An older person's mood can change faster than the spring weather. During a conversation, they can move several times from a state of excitement to sadness, joy or melancholy. Any reminder of what hurts them can cause tears and resentment. Try not to hurt their feelings when talking. This will be the key to mutual understanding and good mood.

The need to talk about health problems

Remember that every year you live brings with it many age-related ailments. When communicating, we often perceive complaints from pensioners as something insignificant. Remember that for them this is an important aspect of life, and talking about pills, tests and well-being is the price we have to pay for love and mutual understanding. Only you can provide them with the necessary assistance in the fight against diseases, which will become more and more common over the years. It is quite possible to once again listen to the description of diseases and not brush aside the problems of parents.

Rejection of the new

When communicating with older people, we often encounter things that they categorically refuse to accept. modern methods housekeeping. They don’t like the way you clean, cook, spend money, or relax. They are familiar with the movies and music of their youth. You should not forcefully change your taste, act intuitively, gradually accustoming your parents to the perception of a new life. If you do everything abruptly, then nothing good will come of it. Scandals and resentments will begin, and you may lose your usual communication for a long time.

Dissatisfaction with relationships with grandchildren

Often the cause of conflict is insufficient communication between your parents and your children. Many old people try to transfer their care and love to their grandchildren, since you are always at work. Teenagers often perceive such guardianship as an encroachment on their personal space. It is necessary to have a conversation and explain to the child that it is also common for an elderly person to be interested in the world around him and events, and to try together to establish intra-family communication without scandals and quarrels.

Control your speech

In a conversation, we can do great harm with a few words. It can often be difficult to maintain a conversation with an older person, but remember that this condition is a consequence of the years you have lived. Avoid topics in conversation that spoil their mood. Don't focus on the fact that one of their friends or neighbors has died - this can cause an emotional breakdown. Try to react less expressively to comments. The conversation should be smooth and measured.

Don't focus their attention on your help.

Don't bother them with your advice, but rather provide help quietly. Just recently they were worried about your bad grades or torn clothes, but today you are already worried that your mother does not take pills, and your father tore his lower back at the dacha. Try to surround them with maximum unobtrusive attention without moralizing.

Any supervision of parents can cause frequent conflicts. Remember how you were offended by them when they interfered in your school, student or personal life. More tact, and the conversation with family and friends will go in the right direction.

Don't make mountains out of molehills

When communicating, parents’ words that they did something bad do not always indicate a serious problem. Don't panic ahead of time. Try to get to the point with a few leading questions. At the same time, do not focus too much attention on the problem that has arisen. Elderly people are very suspicious and can then worry for a long time over trifles.

Show tenderness and love for no reason

Praise can work better than any medicine. Kind word can radically change the mood and relieve an elderly person from worries. Encouraging and praising your son or daughter, words of love or just a strong hug will make the psycho-emotional background comfortable for a long time. Remember to tell them that they are the best parents and grandparents, and this will help them take their mind off a lot of problems. Never forget to say thank you. For an older person, gratitude is a confirmation of his involvement in the lives of loved ones. Remember: warm, kind words can quickly extinguish the flame of any quarrel.

Don't encourage old grievances

Sometimes find a way out difficult situation You can by looking at your relationships from the outside. Try to distract yourself from the conflict if it has been going on for a long time. The essence of the offense may turn out to be so insignificant and petty that it is not worth focusing on it.

Make them feel empowered

Even a very old person must have his responsibilities. Come up with a task that your parents can easily cope with and fill their lives with meaning. Even simple work, which you yourself do much faster and better, will be very important for them and will make them feel important again.

Chat about everything

Talk to your elderly parents more. They need to feel that they play an important role in your life. There is no need to choose topics specifically, everything matters to them. Even talking about traveling on public transport is a good topic of conversation. The main thing is that they don’t get nervous.

Be prepared for difficulties

Accept your parents for who they are. At their age it is too late to change, and constant criticism of their actions will only cause irritation and resentment. Sometimes it is useful to close your eyes to some problems and not focus on them. Don't blame yourself if things go wrong. Try to get to the root of the conflict and solve the problem with a few warm words. Attention and love can certainly overcome any differences. Do not forget that your relationship with your father and mother is being watched by your children, and after many years you will have to reap the benefits of upbringing.

The Third Age club residence complex takes care of maintaining communication with parents

In our complex, every resident is surrounded by care and can count on the help of highly professional specialists at any time. The main concept is the adaptation of older people to a new worldview. You can stay here for a short period of time or become a permanent resident. In the “Third Age” club residence complex, the furnishings are thought out to the smallest detail, and the staff knows exactly how to make spending time as comfortable and convenient as possible. At the same time, conditions have been created so that guests get maximum pleasure from every moment spent with friends and family. You can communicate with elderly parents both by phone and in person by coming to our country club.