How to recognize and stop manipulation. Characteristic signs of manipulative behavior using the example of the heroes of the wonderful wise fairy tale about Cinderella

The manipulator gives you the honorable right to be his slave.

Moreover, your slavery is voluntary. And you do what the manipulator wants because you have something to lose. You were “bribed” with a good attitude or such an image was imposed on you that now it is inconvenient not to correspond to it. You simply become a means to someone else's ends. The manipulator does what he needs with your hands. You are simply in the hands of an experienced trainer.
Nothing wrong with that. Who is not guilty of manipulation? And who has not been a tool in the hands of manipulators? By and large, everyone, consciously or unconsciously, manipulates each other. It just works differently for different people. A woman who, expressing resentment, seeks indulgences and gifts, is clearly manipulating a man. Children manipulate their parents, men manipulate their wives, bosses manipulate their subordinates, and those manipulate their bosses.
But sometimes it gets enough. And not for everyone we are ready to do what he wants. In business they can manipulate deliberately and to your detriment. That’s when it’s important to know how not to fall into the clutches of manipulators. And how to recognize them? This knowledge is taught to intelligence officers. After all, in business you also have to be a scout. Let's take a look at one of the textbooks intended for intelligence schools. It summarizes the signs of a common manipulation.

Signs that may indicate manipulators

1. Interest in the facts of your past experience.
It is very bad if your partner expresses awareness of your plans and long-term aspirations. It's even worse when he knows too much about what exactly you planned among the failed ventures. The higher the awareness of this kind, the more ready the partner is to manipulate you. Think about it, why would another person study your plans if not to manipulate you?
2. Increased personal attention to your person.
Increased interest in the facts of your biography, marital status, hobbies and the manifestation of this awareness is a sign of manipulative interest.
3. Increased interest in philosophical topics.
Various conversations on the topic of “the meaning of life”, so attractive in a partner’s feast, may actually hide the development of plans to influence you.
4. Topics of personal motivation.
Probing your motivation (why, why, for what purpose, what does it give you?) is always an exploration of your personality.
5. Flattery.
Obvious overestimation of your personal, status, professional qualities and capabilities.
6. Theme of personal orientations.
Transferring the conversation from the topic under discussion to your personal values, orientations, opinions, relationships, ideals.
7. Dramatization of the situation.
Description of the frightening consequences.
8. Emphasis on time pressure.
Your partner urges you on, draws your attention to the lack of time for thinking and procrastination.
9. Appeal to third parties.
10. Persistent desire to do you a favor.
11. Appeal to positive previous experiences.
“Yes, we’ve done this a thousand times with this and that.”
12. Links to significant names.
13. Approaching.
Imposing yourself, your environment, any new face.
14. Programming.
Your partner is trying to impose on you a vision that is different from yours.

Warning!
Assign the label of manipulator only to those people who use entire complexes of these techniques. Based on isolated manifestations, do not draw conclusions that you are being deliberately manipulated. We are all unconsciously trying to manipulate each other.

A manipulator can also be recognized by his emotional reactions.

1. High stability with your attacks.
The human tendency to suppress emotional reactions may signal a secretive and duplicitous nature.
2. Artificial humor.
3. “Mirroring.”
You smiled, they smiled at you; you speak at a fast pace, they answer you the same way; you crossed your legs, your partner sat down the same way. You are reflected as in a mirror.
4. Increasing anxiety.
5. Extraordinary reactions.
Reactions that are inappropriate to the situation (for example, one shouts at the other during a showdown in extremely elevated tones).
6. An attempt to disorganize your activity, to put you at a bifurcation point, that is, at a point of unstable equilibrium.

Protection against manipulation

"Manipulation.
Protection against manipulation is based on the classical principles of martial arts. Their essence comes down to turning the weapon against the attacker. The harder your opponent attacks, the stronger your counter-action. It turns out that your enemy is actually fighting against himself. Below are various techniques for protecting against manipulation, collected from various sources, including special methods developed in counterintelligence. For your actual situation, you will have to determine for yourself which methods will be most suitable.
If you have been manipulated and succumbed to it, then this can be equated to infection. The disease means that you have become infected and have become a victim of a manipulator. To fight the disease, you need to be able to make the correct diagnosis and choose treatment for it.
Here are some techniques that you can use to diagnose yourself. If you notice these symptoms, it means you have become infected. The techniques are taken from a textbook for economic intelligence officers.

1. METERS
(Current Rational Self-Control Method)

If you have been manipulated and tried to brainwash you, then turn on the control of your thinking time. As soon as you find yourself continuing to speculate on other people's ideas after contact, it is very likely that you have come under attack. It's commonplace. The entire affiliate business is built on infecting someone else's consciousness the right ideas. It's not very common. Because not a single victim wanted to become one.
The more actively someone else’s thought is processed in your brain, the longer you analyze it, the deeper your transformations, the better you are charged.

2. “Method of introspection”

Introspection is looking into yourself, inside your subconscious, inside your sensations. Trust your subconscious. Very rarely the feelings that bother you are groundless. Your intuition will tell you where to look and what to look for. And although this method is not accurate, it is used even in reconnaissance. It's like shooting at night. It’s better to close your eyes completely and shoot by ear than to stare into the darkness. The main thing is not to neglect this method.

3. “Method of meditation”

Relax and focus. Concentrate on the object. Your subconscious mind will bring answers to your queries to the surface.

To recognize whether you are really being manipulated, you need to do the following:
1. Open attention channels and connect memory to capture and record the slightest nuances of the object’s behavior. Choose an appropriate role and position that allows you to see the object from the angles you need, not be distracted, concentrate your attention and record information as completely as possible.
2. Analyze data by connecting logic to the analysis of behavioral observations.
3. Connect the analyzer of the unconscious, resorting to its stimulation using appropriate methods. A look inside yourself, a review of internal sensations should give you not only answers to the observations received. The habit of analyzing internal experiences opens channels for unconscious processing of information, which leads to a sharpening of intuition.
4. Don't forget that the best defense is an attack. Practice your own influence, and you will not find yourself among the defeated.
5. Remember: “Strangers do not betray.” Take a look around...

Other techniques for protecting against manipulation

"Time out." In negotiations, never agree to the first offer. Don't say yes or no. Better take some time to think.
So, always take time for yourself to think, and try not to give it to others if you want to manage them. If you come across an equally competent opponent and take this time, then be glad that your manipulation did not work. The game is more interesting with a smart partner.
"Pause". When there are attacks, show effects, or attempts to put you into an unstable state, pause yourself. And the longer, the better. During the pause, the mind will awaken. You can imagine yourself as if inside your own aura, which protects you from all harmful arrows of influence. At the same time, you can help yourself with formulas of suggestion such as “I am not a garbage can to draw in the fear, threat, resentment, humiliation that they emit at me.” Simple techniques, but they help a lot in resisting manipulation and avoiding the bifurcation point.
"Do not rush". If they start rushing you, then calmly say: “Hurry is only needed when catching fleas” or “A dog in a hurry gives birth to blind puppies”, “What is done quickly takes a long time to tell”, “If you don’t rush, you’ll get there”, “Don’t rush, otherwise you’ll be late” or “I have a principle: a responsible decision must be made with a fresh mind and after it has rested for a while.”

taken from the site

The term “manipulation” or “manipulation” comes from the Latin word “manipulare” and in its original meaning meant “to manage” in a positive sense: to manage with skill, to provide assistance. IN modern literature Manipulation is understood as the art of controlling people’s behavior and thinking through targeted influence on public consciousness. The most complete definition of manipulation was given by E.L. Dotsenko in the article “Manipulation: a psychological definition of the concept”: “This is a type of psychological influence used to achieve a one-sided gain through a hidden inducement of another to perform certain actions.”

Let us quote the statement of Doctor of Philosophy V.M. Gerasimov: “Manipulation of public opinion is one of them special methods socio-psychological control".

The main sign of manipulation is a situation when one subject views another as a means or a hindrance to his activities. From the heights of his own ego, the manipulator turns another subject into an obedient instrument, reducing him to the level of things subject to control and management. This judgment accurately reflects the situation in advertising, otherwise the advertiser (manipulator) would not be so interested in data on the selling power of advertising, called effectiveness. Manipulation is in demand today more than ever, as the conflict between the interests of the advertiser-manipulator (to impose his own) and the consumer (to buy the best) is intensifying due to the intensification of competition. Manipulation, by its nature, is designed to smooth out this conflict, creating the illusion of independent decision-making by the recipient. Moreover, we can say that manipulation of consciousness is present in all areas public life

. This means that in all spheres of life there is the ego of a manipulator, imposing his value system secretly, due to the impossibility of doing it explicitly.

In the spiritual sphere, spiritual values ​​are promoted through educational priorities, through education, art and literature. IN political sphere images are promoted that are attractive from the point of view of the manipulator (in in this case

In the spiritual sphere, spiritual values ​​are promoted through educational priorities, through education, art and literature. , political system), carriers of political ideas through PR means, political advertising and the media. social sphere

social ideas are promoted (such as the ideas of “freedom, equality, fraternity”). This happens through building a system of social myths (for example, “Stalin is the father”) and socially significant rituals (for example, a military salute).

And finally, in the material sphere, the priority of material values ​​is promoted. Love for things as such is beneficial for the manipulator, as it makes his work easier. This is done with the help of commercial advertising.

Secondly, manipulation is a hidden influence, the fact of which should not be noticed by the object of manipulation. When an attempt at manipulation is discovered and the exposure becomes widely known, the action is usually curtailed, since the disclosed fact of such an attempt causes significant damage to the manipulator. Even more carefully hidden the main objective- so that even the exposure of the very fact of attempted manipulation does not lead to the clarification of long-term intentions. Therefore, hiding, withholding information is a mandatory sign, although some manipulation techniques include “ultimate self-disclosure”, a game of sincerity, when a politician tears his shirt on his chest and lets a stingy male tear run down his cheek.

Thirdly, manipulation is an influence that requires significant skill and knowledge. In politics, as a rule, specialists or at least special knowledge gleaned from literature or instructions are involved in the development of actions. Since the manipulation of public consciousness has become a technology, professionals have emerged who own this technology (or parts of it).

Thus, manipulation is a way of domination through spiritual influence on people through programming their behavior. This influence is aimed at the mental structures of a person, is carried out secretly and aims to change the opinions, motives and goals of people in the direction desired by the authorities. As G. Schiller notes, “to achieve success, manipulation must remain invisible. The success of manipulation is guaranteed when the manipulated person believes that everything that happens is natural and inevitable. That is, manipulation requires a false reality in which its presence will not be felt.” One of the first books directly devoted to the manipulation of consciousness was the book by the sociologist from Germany Herbert Franke, “The Manipulated Man” (1964), where he gives the following definition: “Manipulation in most cases should be understood as a mental influence that is carried out secretly, and, consequently, to the detriment of those at whom it is directed.”

The nature of manipulation consists in the presence of a double impact - along with the openly sent message, the manipulator sends a “coded” signal to the addressee, hoping that this signal will awaken in the recipient’s mind those images that the manipulator needs. This hidden influence relies on the “tacit knowledge” that the addressee has, his ability to create images in his mind that influence his feelings, opinions and behavior. The art of manipulation is to set the imagination process in the right direction, but in such a way that the person does not notice the hidden influence.

Manipulation is a way of controlling people based on influencing emotions, feelings, and thinking. This act of influence is also called covert control. Manipulation is cruel and dishonest influence. To avoid it, you need to know the mechanisms and methods of this process.

Sign of manipulation

Manipulation is hidden psychological impact on the emotions and feelings of the partner in order to obtain benefits for the author of the manipulation. Sometimes manipulators influence consciousness so subtly that it is very difficult to recognize this attempt at control. To learn how to track manipulation, you need to consider three critical components of this definition.

• Hidden psychological impact. Manipulation is a subtle influence in which the manipulator hides a meaning that is beneficial to himself.
• Impact and use of emotions, feelings, states of a partner. This is the basis of manipulation, since human nature has a desire to achieve and retain pleasant emotions and avoid negative experiences.
• Benefit for the manipulator. It can be not only material, but also psychological, when one’s own status can be raised through the public humiliation of another person.

Principle of manipulation

A good manipulator is able to quickly find in any person those strings, playing on which will lead to the result he needs.

To achieve the identification of vulnerabilities, the manipulator first unbalances the victim. For this, for example, provocative and teasing statements are used that attack self-esteem: “Are you so easy to lose your temper?”, “Where are you going!” You won’t be able to negotiate with this client!”

When the manipulator finds a weak spot, he will be able to control you using one of the following tools:

• pity
• pride
• fear
• ambition
• greed

Methods of manipulation

Silence

This method of manipulation is often used by women if they want to achieve something from their men. How longer woman is silent, so more man nervous and looking for a way to improve the situation.

This method of manipulation, like any other, cannot be abused - over time it will simply stop working.

Increased attention

Human psychology is designed in such a way that he strives to reciprocate any relationship. Have you noticed how difficult it is to leave without buying if the seller treated you with maximum attention? By trying to reach consensus, you will do what is expected of you.

Tears

Another common method of manipulation. This aggressive method is especially preferred by women and children, and it is most often used in everyday life. This method also includes a feeling of pity, specifically evoked.

Playing on uncertainty

This male way manipulation of competitors or rivals. Often it is enough to cause doubts in the interlocutor’s mind that he begins to make mistakes.

Repetition of "truths"

Individual pain point

This is the traumatic experience that a particular person had to endure during his life path. It is believed that only an experienced manipulator who is able to quickly examine them can press on such points. This is partly true, but the main players in this case, sadly enough, are precisely those close to them who know the character and life events of the person they are influencing.

Anxiety and fear

The manipulator presents the situation as if his opponent is in danger, and immediately suggests a way to avoid this. IN Everyday life occurs frequently.

Guilt

This is one of the most important “levers” of the manipulator. And the main way to manipulate feelings of guilt is through demonstrative resentment.

Feelings of compassion, pity

These feelings are instilled from childhood: parents, kindergarten, the school is actively developing the possibility of displaying such sensations. And although these feelings are indeed necessary, they are a target for manipulators of any scale.

Benefit, savings

In this case, we are not even always talking about greed - rather, about the desire to be more economical or to make at least a small profit. This could be joint proposals from friends to invest in some extremely profitable business, which is beneficial to friends, but good for you if it just goes through without losses.

Shame, remorse

Feelings of shame are instilled from childhood, cultivated through educational conversations and discussions of children's books and cartoons. Every child is taught exactly what situations to feel shame in, saying, “You should be ashamed! No shame, no conscience! Shame is a feeling of some kind of inferiority of oneself or a perfect action, so strong that at that moment you want to hide from prying eyes, you want no one to know about the shame. This gives room for manipulation for those in the know.

Who is affected?

By the way, the more weaknesses a person has and the lower a person’s self-esteem, the more dependent he is on the opinions of other people, the easier it is to manipulate him.

How to protect yourself from manipulators?

Here are some examples of protection against manipulators:

Appeal to your pity, guilt or duty. Of course, you should pay attention to your husband and help your colleagues, but not to the detriment of your interests, plans and your free time. Try to decline another request, citing urgent matters. Explain to the person asking when you will be free or how much you can help now.

Self-deprecation.

Many people resort to this method of manipulation. By openly talking about their shortcomings or inability to do something, they shift all responsibilities to another person. If you have such acquaintances who take advantage of your excessive kindness, again, hasten to confuse them. For example, when the manipulator again wants to put all the chores and responsibilities on your shoulders, start praising him. For example, you can tell a colleague that you would be happy to organize a corporate event yourself, but no organizer can compare with her imagination and fantasy. Surely, you will put her in an uncomfortable position with such an answer.

Intrigue.

To manipulate is to try to indirectly influence someone's behavior or actions. Manipulation does not have to be good or bad: a person may try to manipulate others either out of good intentions or to get another person to do something illegal. Manipulation is always covert and often targets our weak points, making it difficult to detect. The cunning that accompanies manipulation can be invisible and easy to overlook, because it is often hidden behind a sense of duty, love or habit. However, it is possible to recognize signs of manipulation and not succumb to it.

Steps

Behavior

Notice whether your interlocutor tries to ensure that you always speak first. Manipulators want to hear us first in order to determine our strengths and weak sides. You will be asked leading questions, in response to which you will express your point of view and feelings. Typically, these questions begin with “what,” “why,” and “how.” The answer and reaction of the interlocutor will depend on the information he receives.

• If your interlocutor wants to hear you first, this does not always mean that he is trying to manipulate you. Other factors should also be taken into account.
• The manipulator tries to talk about himself as little as possible and listen to you more.
• If this behavior is observed in most cases, it may indicate that they are trying to manipulate you.
• Even if it seems to you that the person is sincerely interested in you, remember that such questions may have a hidden agenda. If the interlocutor avoids directly answering your questions and tries to quickly move the conversation to another topic, this may indicate that he is insincere.

1. Take a closer look to see if the interlocutor is trying to please you. Some people have a natural charm, and manipulators try to use this to their advantage. Before asking for anything, the manipulator may praise you. He may also give you a small gift, after which he will ask you for some favor.

   • For example, someone might treat you to a great dinner and talk to you kindly before asking you to borrow money or help with work.
   • Although this behavior is often not dangerous, remember that you are not obligated to do something just because someone is kind to you.

2. Pay attention to attempts to coerce. A manipulator may try to force you to do something through intimidation and threats. In an attempt to get his way, he may shout, criticize and insult his interlocutor. You may hear him say, “If you don’t do this, then I will...” or “I won’t do this until you...”. A manipulator can use such tactics not only to force the interlocutor to do certain things, but also in return for a promise to stop doing something.

   Pay attention to how a person handles facts. If your interlocutor uses facts too freely in order to convince you of something, he may be trying to manipulate you. A person may lie, omit information, withhold information, feign ignorance, or exaggerate. A manipulator may also pretend to be an expert on a topic and bombard you with facts and statistics. At the same time, he will try to seem much more knowledgeable than you.

   Pay attention if the interlocutor constantly presents himself as a martyr or victim. In this case, the person may do something that you did not ask him to do, and then refer to it. After "doing a favor," he expects you to try to repay the favor, and if that doesn't happen, he may start complaining.

   • The manipulator may also complain and say, “Nobody likes me (I’m sick, I’m being humiliated, etc.)” in an attempt to gain your sympathy so that he can then use it for his own purposes.

3. Think about whether a good attitude towards you depends on something specific. A manipulator can be kind and affectionate with you if you do what he needs, but this attitude will change dramatically if you do not live up to his expectations. This type of manipulator seems to have two faces: an angelic mask when he wants to please you, and a frightening visage when he needs you to be afraid of him. Everything goes well as long as you meet expectations.

   • Sometimes it seems that you are walking on a razor's edge and are afraid of angering the manipulator.

4. Observe characteristic behavior. All people try to manipulate from time to time, but manipulators do it all the time. The manipulator has a hidden agenda and deliberately tries to use another person in order to achieve power, control or some other advantage at their expense. If this behavior occurs regularly, you may be dealing with a manipulator.

   • The manipulator rarely takes into account your rights and interests; they are unimportant to him.
   • Remember that they can play a role mental illness or disability. For example, a person with depression may have no intention of manipulating you, while with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder people often forget to check their email. With these and a number of other disorders, it may seem that the patient is trying to manipulate you, although this is not the case.

   Communication style

   1. Note if you are reproached or judged. A common method of manipulation is to pick on the person and make them feel guilty. No matter what you do, the manipulator will always find something to complain about. No matter what you do, something will be wrong. Instead of advising and expressing constructive criticism, the manipulator will only point out your shortcomings.

      • This behavior can be expressed in the form of sarcasm and jokes. The manipulator may make fun of your clothes and appearance, driving style, place of work, family or something else. Although such remarks are often meant as a joke, they can be quite painful. At the same time, you are the object of ridicule, the purpose of which is to undermine your faith in your abilities.

   2. Pay attention to periods of silence. A manipulator can use silence to gain control over you. He may not pick up the phone or respond to your text messages or emails for long periods of time. This is done to make you feel insecure or to punish you for "wrong behavior." This behavior is different from simply trying to cool down before reconnecting, and is used to make you feel helpless.

   3. Recognize the guilt trap. This technique is to make you feel responsible for the behavior of the manipulator. It puts you under control of another person's emotions: their joy, success or failure, anger, and so on. As a result, you will feel obligated to do something that is wanted of you, even if it seems wrong to you.

      • The guilt trap is often prefaced with statements such as “If only you understood me better, then...”, “If you really love me...” or “I did this for you, why don’t you want to do this for me? " (and this is said about something you didn’t ask for).
      • If you agree to do something that you are interested in normal conditions would not have done (or what you don’t like), you may have become a victim of manipulation.

   4. Notice if you don't have to constantly apologize. A manipulator can make you feel like you are to blame for something. He may accuse you of something you didn't do or hold you responsible for some situation. For example, you agreed to meet at 13:00, but the person was two hours late. In response to your reproaches, he says: “Yes, you’re right. I’m doing everything wrong. I don’t even know why you continue to communicate with me, I don’t deserve this.” As a result, you soften and change the topic of conversation.

      • In addition, the manipulator reinterprets your words in the worst possible way, causing you to have to apologize for them.

   5. Notice how you are constantly being compared to other people. When trying to get you to do something, the manipulator may claim that you are worse than someone else. He may call you a stupid person if you refuse to do what he wants. This is designed to make you feel guilty and still force you to do what is asked of you.

      • When comparing with others, the following phrases may be heard: “Anyone else in your place would have done this,” “If I had asked Maria, she would have done this,” or “Except for you, everyone else thinks this is normal.”

   Communication with the manipulator

   1. Know how to say “no” at the right time. The person will continue to manipulate you as long as you allow him to do so. To protect yourself from manipulation, you should say “no” in time. Stand in front of a mirror and practice saying “No, I can’t do that” or “No, that’s not for me.” You must be able to defend yourself in order to be treated with the respect you deserve.

      • You shouldn't feel guilty when you say no. You have every right doing so.
      • You can refuse quite politely. If the manipulator asks you to do something, try answering: “I would do it, but I’m very busy in the coming months” or “Thanks for the offer, but no.”

   2. Set appropriate boundaries. If the manipulator discovers that you are succumbing to his persuasion and tricks, he will try to win your favor in order to use you in the future. In this case, he will focus on his “helplessness” and try to get financial, emotional or any other help from you. Pay attention to phrases such as “You are the only one I have,” “I have no one else to talk to,” and so on. You have your own life, and you don't have to help this person all the time.

      • If you hear a person say, “I have no one else to talk to,” try contrasting it with specific examples:
        • “Remember how Anna talked to you for a long time yesterday afternoon? And Maria said that she’s always happy to talk to you on the phone. I’m happy to talk to you for 5 minutes, but then I have an important meeting that I can’t miss.”

   3. Don't blame yourself. The manipulator will try to make you feel guilty. Remember that they are trying to manipulate you into feeling guilty and that the problem is not you. If you feel wrong, take a closer look at what is happening and check your emotions again.

      • Ask yourself: “Does this person respect me?”, “Does this person have reasonable demands and expectations?”, “Is this a one-sided relationship?”, “Do I like this relationship?”
      • If the answer to these questions is no, then the problems in your relationship most likely lie with the manipulator, not with you.

   4. Be persistent. Manipulators often twist and distort facts to present themselves in a more favorable light. Respond to this with persistence and seek to clarify the facts. Explain that you remember the facts differently and would like to better understand what exactly happened. Ask your interlocutor simple questions and try to identify common ground. Once you figure out what you agree on, take it as a starting point for further reasoning. For example:

      • Your interlocutor says: “You won’t lure me to these meetings anymore. You use them only for your own benefit, and you always leave me to be eaten by the sharks.”
      • Reply in the following way: "That's not true. I thought you were ready to tell investors about your ideas. If I heard you made a mistake, I would have intervened immediately, but I thought you did an excellent job."

What are the symptoms and signs hidden manipulation can our consciousness be used for self-defense? To do this, you need to determine its main features (Fig. 19.3).

1. Activation of stereotypes- having heard in a message an explicit or hidden appeal to some deep-rooted feelings or attitudes, it is useful to quickly run through your “I” in your mind and figure out what kind of my reaction this message is intended for and what I am being deliberately inclined to.

2. Repetition- the main means of dishonest propaganda. If they harp on the same topic every day, the matter is unclean (land reform, the Nazarenko, Tymoshenko case).

3. Splitting up- the problem is laid out in pieces, not whole (the problem of land privatization).

Rice. 19.3. Signs of hidden manipulation

4. Language- as soon as a politician or announcer begins to speak in “bird language”, inserting obscure phrases and words, manipulation occurs.

5. Emotions- if the pressure is on the feelings, it smells like a dirty trick. It is better to temporarily “harden” and not give in to a trembling voice or a sparkling tear, but try to understand what is hidden behind it.

6. Sensationalism and urgency- creates noise, nervousness, undermines psychological defense; This is how they report a tragedy in a choking voice, look for “black boxes”, crackle after every catastrophe, and when they find them, there is silence. Why talk about it then? Most often, this is how they divert attention from more important events.

7. Totalitarianism solution- imposing on the audience that “there is no other way! They don’t change horses in midstream!”

8. Totalitarianism of the message source- lack of dialogue, the opportunity to compare different points of view (twin news on different television channels).

9. Mixing information and own opinion - this is such a crude method of manipulation that European laws have introduced restrictive norms against it. We want to listen to facts, but thoughts about them are imposed on us.

10. Seizure from context- a sign related to fragmentation (at an international conference of criminologists dedicated to drug trafficking and money laundering, the main report stated that The best way money laundering - purchase of land. It was directly stated that the global drug business is waiting for a law on the free sale of land in the CIS countries).

Also used vagueness of statements- it turns out to be quite easy intuitively. Most often, there are inconsistencies in the statements of politicians and the media - it should be treated as an exciting sport.

The fact that you are being manipulated successfully can be verified by analyzing the principles of successful manipulation.

1. The principle of consistency.

A very powerful means of influence is the use of a person's natural desire to be and be considered consistent. After all, no one wants to have a reputation as a fickle, unreliable, capricious, indecisive, reckless person. In addition, the automatic desire for consistency is a kind of defense mechanism our thinking. Manipulators can take advantage of this.

The main importance here is played by obligations (a person has promised - strives to consistently fulfill), especially in writing, so that they can neither be forgotten nor refuted. For example, getting a loan from a bank: first they formally deal with your personal affairs, gain trust, and then slip a loan agreement for your signature (so that you do not have time to read its essence). Another trick: you are offered to draw up an agreement yourself or fill out a contract form yourself, in which case the percentage of its termination will be minimal (and you, having outlined your obligations, will act in accordance with what is written). Or: independently writing a “hymn” to a certain product as part of an advertising campaign (and, accordingly, self-persuasion).

The manipulator can “lure” you into making the choice he desires. Having accepted a commitment, a person convinces himself that he did everything right (and “the bait is taken by the manipulator”). Each conscious or subconscious argument is a new “fulcrum” to justify the perfect choice, therefore, you yourself become “the creators of these support points.”

2. The principle of mutual exchange (rule of gratitude).

Deeply rooted in human consciousness. If something was provided, donated, or helped, then you need to try to thank it properly. The principle of “investment for the future”, a system of gratitude that human evolution has made a social automatism, a stereotype, a cultural feature (the usual “thank you” turns into “I’m very obliged”)

Manipulators often take advantage of this, sometimes providing you with unnecessary or trivial services in advance, knowingly expecting and demanding much more from you in return (appealing to a feeling of gratitude) - what they need. It would seem inconvenient to refuse you, so as not to become “ungrateful”. This technique is often used by sellers (“I advised you (I gave it to you to try, test, taste), and you will buy” - especially sampling in multi-level marketing companies), employers (“I gave you a job, then you work as long as the job requires "), cunning employees (" I explained to you, do this to me "), representatives of sects (" on behalf of the community you were given a gift (sign, magazine, other small thing), then you will not sacrifice... and you will receive mercy and grace "), politicians and officials (" a business (or service) in exchange for votes (or a lobby in parliament, in interstate negotiations ").

Not only services can be mutual, but also concessions (“the seller reduced the price - you have to buy!”). There is also the following manipulative technique: “demand - refusal - retreat”. That is, if there are no grounds for your dependence, then if the manipulator needs something from you, it can be created (provoking a situation in which you will feel uncomfortable in the event of your own refusal at a request of a smaller scale). For example, if you are approached with a request to buy a valuable thing, you refuse, then they ask you for some trinket (“at least give me a pen”) - you are unlikely to refuse, because they have already refused once (and if you had it right away asked?). So, this is the operation of the principle of reciprocal exchange of concession.

3. The principle of public proof.

Most people believe their behavior is correct if they see others behaving in a similar way, or at least believe so. The assumption is that if they do this, they know something that others don't. This is often justified. After all, by their nature, the vast majority of people are imitators, and about 5% are initiators. Manipulators use the automatic tendency to believe that an action is right if others do it or if it conforms to generally accepted norms.

The principle is based on the practice of sending a herd to the edge of a precipice (there it is easier to catch it) - running, like everyone else, the danger is not realized. Therefore, it is a voluntary “surrender to the winner.” This is also where the “election of a scapegoat” comes from.

Examples of blocking consciousness in this case are the approval of the product by many others, the product does not lie on the shelf for a single extra minute and is quickly bought up, or it is willingly and a lot bought by wealthy and very wealthy fellow citizens, or there have never been any complaints about it (for so many years), or in the top 100 products (it is not known what rating) from among the top ten, or according to the results of a survey public opinion(it is unclear by whom and when, carried out) takes almost the first place. The idea of ​​the quality of the product is reinforced by the assent of “third-party buyers” - fellow sellers from other departments. This technology is also used on talk shows (applause, laughter), in political rallies (it is easier to control a crowd than an individual viewer on a television screen), in child psychiatry (depriving a child of fears following the example of others).

The word "authority" comes from the Latin auctoritas - power, influence. The awareness of the need for unconditional submission to someone authoritative is deeply rooted in the minds of people from childhood; and disobedience is wrong, abnormal. And this is understandable, because conscious, wise and strong person, who understands the essence of the issue, it is even convenient to obey, because he knows what he is doing and gives orders. These qualities evoke respect, which is why the subconscious mind develops the attitude that it is rational to obey authorities. But you need to understand that it is not so much they who influence and control your behavior as the atmosphere that surrounds them, the authority.

Authority is demonstrated by symbols of authority (titles, clothing, demeanor, attributes). And the subconscious is accustomed to reacting precisely to symbols, and not to the authority itself. Attributes of prestige include a car, security guards, ostentatious jewelry, certificates, expensive business cards, various letterheads, photographs in which a person is depicted next to famous or influential people, hints of connections in influential circles, valuable pens, cufflinks and other details of “identity design”.

Symbols of manipulators can be “honorary titles” (high-profile titles, positions, like O. Bender’s), clothing (including dressing up as police officers, inspectors, etc.).

12 A specially trained animal that is used in meat processing plants to lure herds to the slaughterhouse. - Note auto.

In order not to succumb to pressure, you need to learn to question what you see, that is, in fact, a person understands what he is talking about, if she is honest enough, she has everything Required documents, and what other competent specialists think about it. This is the only way to determine the truth, power and the value of authority.

5. The principle of attachment.

It is difficult for us to refuse their requests. Professional manipulations actively use this in their actions. Typical characteristics, influencing the attitude of others towards a person are the following.

5.1. Physical attractiveness.

Physical beauty helps you value others much higher human qualities, such as talent, sincerity, intelligence, competence. Externally beautiful person seems more persuasive, so she needs to spend much less effort in order to effectively influence others.

The reaction to the attractiveness of people is mental automatism, it belongs to the category of halo effects (when one positive trait person is more noticeable and how it overlaps all other qualities). Thus, voters give on average 2.5 times more votes for candidates with harmoniously built faces and figures than for unattractive ones; attractive employees receive high salaries and are considered the best colleagues.

As a rule, historically, manipulators are almost always beautiful and take care of their appearance.

5.2. Similarity with the object of influence.

A fairly powerful factor, because people who are similar to you cannot help but like you. Similarity can manifest itself in everything - name, hairstyle, clothes, outlook on life, hobbies, interests, lifestyle, and the like. The subconscious associates them with you, therefore, having developed the skills to repeat your interlocutor, it is easier for manipulators to convince you: you will not deny yourself.

This technique is used by employees of travel agencies: during a conversation, paying attention to the smallest details, then they note your commonality with some small detail and continue the conversation in the “needed” direction.

5.3. Praise, flattery and compliments.

Every person loves to be defined by something. Flattery is characterized by undisguised hypocrisy and a strong exaggeration of advantages. Flattery makes a person more accommodating and pliable, disposed towards the one who does it, and defenseless against the manipulator.

A compliment satisfies the most important psychological need for positive emotions. they are often said by people (approving anything: social status, intelligence, beauty, strength, etc.) who need something from you. But in order to give compliments, you need to have at least the slightest factual information about the person (otherwise it will already be flattery), universal bases for a compliment (the desire to look good, achieve success, be respected, etc.), used together with the previous demonstration participation and empathy, be short. Compliments are considered effective against the backdrop of an anti-compliment to oneself (“how I miss such ability to work.”) They are a more powerful weapon than flattery (because they don’t trust the latter).

A way to protect yourself from this manipulative technique is: “Thank you for the compliment, I’m really doing well.” the best way", "I have no doubt about your sincerity", "Yes, indeed, but there is also the best people", etc.

5.4. Close acquaintance.

People usually agree much more quickly to the wishes or demands of those they know. A person likes what is well known, and therefore it is more difficult to refuse a friend or acquaintance. Often just mentioning a friend's name is enough to gain support the right person(magic words “I am from Vasily Vasilyevich”).

A variation is the “cooperation” trick - a demonstration that the manipulator initially treats you as his old acquaintance and is ready to do unrealistic things for your sake, and therefore expects to create something like one “team” opposing the outside world.

5.5. Availability of associations.

To a large extent, human thinking is associative. A look at one item evokes a mention of another (such as ice cream reminiscent of the taste of childhood, tangerines and pine needles - new year holidays). The technique of combining objects with pleasant memories is used by commodity producers, politicians and in show business - a kind of borrowing of positivity and popularity for “promotion”.

Therefore, if you are invited to dinner for negotiations, it is expected that associations with delicious food will automatically make you feel good about your partner.

6. The principle of scarcity.

The term "deficit" comes from the Latin deficit - which means a lack of something. The mechanism of the principle of scarcity is based on the human desire to obtain benefits in the shortest possible way with minimal effort. And the risk of staying, which excites emotions, makes rational thinking difficult, and causes a significant impact on decision-making. And this is what the scarcity principle does a powerful tool manipulation.

A person begins to act in cases where he can gain something or when he can lose something (in this case, even penetration with love occurs). The attractiveness that appears before our eyes is often explained by a single reason: it becomes less accessible. It is often observed that people begin to value some thing or relationship only when they risk being left without it - then their value increases significantly (remember antique, rare things).

Scarcity, craving for a forbidden subject give rise to any prohibitions (censorship - the right to information - freedom of speech). Consequently, in order to manipulate, they often resort to “artificial restrictions”, and as a result they get the intended effect.

Consequently, an analysis of the principles of successful manipulation will reveal its signs.

In addition, it is worth noting the methods of influence that are often used in management activities today. The laws of management psychology are manifested in the interaction of people, interpersonal relationships and in group behavior. They act regardless of whether they are known to us or not, whether we are aware of them or not. To the main laws of psychology and management (managerial activities) include the following.

1. The law of response uncertainty - the dependence of external influences on internal psychological conditions (structures).

The law is based on psychological phenomena - apperception and the presence of stereotypes of consciousness. Apperception is the dependence of perception on the past experience of the subject. Stereotypes of consciousness are persistent thoughts, assessments, judgments that inaccurately and incompletely reflect the surrounding reality and influence behavior, creating obvious or hidden communication barriers.

Effect of the law:

o different people V different time can react qualitatively differently to the same influences (turn the other cheek or not);

o the same person at different times can react qualitatively differently to the same action (which is due to the influence of internal psychological factors, such as mood, emotional condition etc. under certain conditions and situations).

According to the laws of management psychology, feedback (reaction) is quite difficult to determine in advance and impossible to predict. Therefore, in management you need to take into account all the factors that will help you find a common language (and not talk “each in his own way”).

2. The law of inadequacy of mutual perception.

The essence of the law: a person can never comprehend another person with the accuracy and completeness that was sufficient for serious decisions regarding this person.

This is due to the specifics of human perception; it is almost never complete and accurate (due to the structure of the eye, most objects cannot be seen in full). Therefore, when making any management decisions, it is necessary to take into account the inadequacy of perception and a person’s desire to show himself better than he really is.

Management activities, taking into account the influence of this law, should be built on the following principles:

o the principle of universal talent (“there are no untalented, incapable people; there are people who are busy with something other than their own business”);

o development principle (any abilities have the ability to develop)

o the principle of inexhaustibility (no human assessment can be considered final).

3. The law of inadequacy of self-esteem.

The essence of the law: when trying to evaluate oneself, a person faces the same internal barriers and limitations as when analyzing other people. Logical, common-sense self-analysis cannot be adequate due to the fact that a person is more emotional, irrational and unreasonable than rational, logical, and intelligent. Consequently, self-esteem is never adequate - overestimated or underestimated.

4. The law of information distortion - loss or splitting of the content of management information.

The essence of the law: management information (orders, instructions, directives) has an objective tendency to change content in the process of movement “from top to bottom”. The degree of change is directly proportional to the number of links through which information passes. The following circumstances “contribute” to the loss of information content:

o polysemy of the language in which management information is transmitted (oral information is perceived with an accuracy of up to 50%);

o increase (decrease) in the volume of information due to its incompleteness or limited access to it;

o changes in the process of transmitting information (according to the subjective traits of the people who transmit it - intellectually developed / undeveloped, oswiche-net / ignorant, mentally / physically developed / undeveloped).

To reduce information distortion it is necessary:

o reduce the number of transmission chains involved in the dissemination of information;

o provide people with all the necessary information on these issues that they must decide in a timely manner;

o support feedback in order to monitor the correct assimilation of the information received.

5. The law of self-preservation.

The essence of the law: one of the leading motives that determine human behavior is the preservation of one’s own status, usefulness, and dignity. Psychological laws not only influence the quality of work, but also often determine it. Direct or indirect limitation of dignity causes a negative reaction (for example, demeaning the level of professionalism of a person at a meeting and, as a result, further avoiding others present from discussions).

To solve such situations, you should organize solutions to complex problems in a separate time mode: first collect all available proposals, and then conduct a critical analysis of the compliance of the proposal with the “problem conditions”.

6. Law of compensation.

The essence of the law: a person who has certain shortcomings, difficulties or problems in one area of ​​life, consciously or unconsciously tries to compensate for them by working hard in another area.

From the point of view of management psychology, this means that if there is high level incentives for this work or high requirements to a person, the lack of some abilities for a given type of activity is replaced by other methods or skills and ability to work.

So, you need to realize that there are control laws, and there are certain technologies, the action of which can be determined by the main signs of hidden manipulation in order to minimize their impact on humans.