Short amulet words for every occasion. How to support a person from a distance without standard phrases like “everything will be fine”? What should you tell people when

My article, published a few days ago, caused a lot of discussion, both agreeing with me and challenging my ten points. Most people were grateful for the list because it helped them know which clichés to definitely avoid at a funeral or in the presence of a grieving friend.

A certain number of concerned people, however, noted that the publication was written in a negative way, that is, it says that we should not speak, but does not say that we can speak.

And while I was assessing the criticism, I thought that this shows exactly why the first article was needed. But let me start with a short backstory.

The pain doesn't go away

My father died in a motorcycle accident six years ago. He was only 50 and was survived by four grown children. It is clear that the news of the accident simply destroyed us, left us all confused and unsteady on our feet. This was the first death of a loved one that we had to deal with. At 28, you plan to spend another two to three decades with your father. I don't think I really realized as an adult how much of a child I still felt until my father left.

No "Goodbye."

Not "I love you."

Just left.

As expected, there was an endless stream of well-intentioned people at his funeral trying to say something comforting. I realized then and there that I hated that line of people at funerals. These people feel like they just have to tell you something, but it's all very awkward and artificial.

And I wondered, not for the last time, did people really think there was some magic set of words that could solve my problem? Do people really think they can put together the right combination of syllables that will somehow make my father's death any less tragic?

Of course they can't.

But it seemed like a lot of people were trying their best to do it. As if, if you say Right words- my father will rise from the grave like Lazarus.

In the midst of all these mini-counselling sessions, however, there was one person who came up and told me something that I will never forget. If you have to say something to a grieving person, it is worth learning from him.

Without a trace of discomfort or awkwardness, most likely because he was not trying to solve my problem, an older gentleman named Charlie approached me. He had lost his wife to cancer a few years ago and was still grieving her death and trying to cope, living day after day without her.

With all the wisdom that comes with such grief, Charlie hugged me, then looked me in the eyes and said: “The pain doesn’t go away. You just learn to live with it.”

It was the most honest, frank, and beautiful thing anyone said to me that day. I'm tired of standard, cliched phrases.

I'm tired of people trying to "pull me out of my sadness" with cliches. This man was telling the honest truth, no matter how bad it sounded. And it will always be like this. The only hope is to learn to live with it. Or, in the words of Andrew Pietersen, there may be a nagging pain, but not a destructive one.

This is the point...

This man could speak to me so directly because he knew it firsthand. He didn't need to mask his own insecurity with cheap words. No, he knew something about pain, he knew about the futility of answers at such a moment, and he knew What it must be said, but what It's better not to say.

And perhaps this is the problem with much of our behavior at funerals. For many Americans, we spend so much time avoiding suffering that we don't know how to behave when we come face to face with it. We don't know what to say. Or, more accurately, we don't know that most of us simply shouldn't say anything.

When I wrote the first article, there were an endless number of well-meaning people who said: “Why didn’t you write 10 points about what you should say to a grieving person?”

But this question, whatever good intentions it was not dictated, it does not capture the essence at all. We don't have to say anything at all. In fact, most of us don't need to say anything.

Silence, holy and healing

Since when is silence in the face of tragedy a bad option? Since when do we have to fill every moment of our lives with words?

It's very common in American culture that we feel like we have to talk all the time. In our culture, we know as much about silence as we do about grief, which is to say, nothing.

We cannot be alone with our thoughts even in better days, not to mention the worst. We feel this habitual need to talk, tell, shout, whisper or chat, all because we have no idea how to remain silent. We don't know that silence can actually be holy. And it is almost never inappropriate.

In this regard, we can learn something from Job's friends. After he lost his family, Job's friends came and said absolutely nothing for three days. Their silence was the sound of love and respect for Job's grief. That was until they started talking - and making mistakes. They wanted to resolve his grief, find some reason for what happened, explain it by God's Will. But Job, unlike many mourners, had the necessary arguments to reject their foolish answers and false assumptions about what he needed, and about the very character of God, which they assumed they knew.

You just looked like you needed a hug

Let me illustrate the usefulness and sanctity of silence with another short story about the death of my father. Shortly after his funeral in central Missouri, I had to return to Lexington, Kentucky to resume my seminary studies. With a heart that still beat irregularly, with grief that still covered my soul with a dirty film, I walked back to campus, my eyes downcast, hoping not to meet anyone’s gaze. I'm tired of people. I'm tired of answers.

I actually planned my trip to campus at a time when I knew classes were already in session. I planned to be late for class and then I would definitely not have to talk to anyone. So when I walked across campus, the courtyard was empty.

Well, it was empty except for one lone figure, Jeremy Aya.

Jeremy was some distance away from me and walking in a different direction. But when he saw me, he called out my name and walked straight towards me. To be honest, I was cautious about what was about to happen. But when he came straight to me, he just hugged me and held me in a tight hug for a few seconds. After which he said: “I just thought you needed a hug.”. Then he turned around and left.

To most people who think they need some quick, successful cliché to help people cope with grief, this story may seem anti-climax.

But those who are familiar with grief, and know that it cannot be overcome so easily, will understand why I would never want to forget this moment. Nothing profound was said. Nothing insightful was done. It was just hugs. Just what I needed. And refusal to try to improve the situation.

Jeremy did everything right. I think there's a lot to be learned from its simplicity.

Ultimately, I can't tell people any specific things to say to their grieving friends. Why? Because the things you say and do always depend on your relationship 1) with the person who is grieving, and 2) your relationship with grief itself (have you ever experienced deep grief?). The appropriateness of your words and actions is determined in light of how well you know the person grieving and how well you know what is causing the person pain.

This is not an excuse. It would be nice if there were 10 things to say to a grieving person. But this is simply impossible.

But silence is never a bad option. Silence is healing. Silence is sacred.

So what should we say?

For those of you who will be disappointed if you don't get more practical advice, here are some general thoughts on what can happen when you come face to face with grief.

First, Don't forget that there are no magic words that you can say to make a grieving person feel better. Nothing. you can find best words in the world, but it still doesn't stop the pain.

Second, Instead of focusing on what you have to say, focus on listening to him (if he wants to talk). Don't rush people to talk, but if they want, don't force your answers. Instead, use active listening. Just keep asking questions that focus on their feelings, not yours, their story, not yours.

After listening to their story, you can say: “So when X happened, did you feel Y?” This will allow them to talk about their feelings as much or as little as they want.

When I counsel people, this often takes up most of the time: “when X happened, did you feel Y?” This often encourages them to talk more, allows them to explore their feelings, and allows them to correct you if Y is not how they really felt.

This works well precisely because it allows people to talk 99% of the time while you just listen and ask questions... specific, specific, emotional, not general questions.

Third If a person doesn’t want to talk, that’s normal. He won't blame you for it being inconvenient, because he knows that you are inconvenient too, because his whole life is inconvenient right now. So take this inconvenience normally. Don't try to fight it. After all, discomfort is your feeling and you need to stay focused on how it feels.

Fourth, ask real, practical questions. “What do you want me to do for you at work while you’re not there?”, “Are there any errands I can run for you?”, “Can I go shopping for you? What products do you prefer?(Seriously, if you're getting together to plan a menu and cook something for him, for God's sake, leave out the pasta! Grieving people are tired of pasta!) Offer to do specific things for him so he can focus on other things, unless he needs a mental break. After all, doing chores can be healing because it gives you a sense of balance when doing something mundane.

Fifth As I said above, if you don't feel wise enough to talk to a person or if you're not close enough to him, just be there. DO NOT AVOID IT. Give him a hug, ask a few questions about what exactly you can do for him, pray together if he doesn't mind, and let him know that you will continue to pray for him. Then leave. This is fine.

Sixth, send him SMS, emails, cards, etc., over the next few months, on the anniversary of the loss, on the birthday of the person he lost, etc. People forget something - a grieving person is unlikely to forget the day a tragedy occurred, even if the rest of the world forgets that day. If you want to help a person, do not forget this day, even if you have to write it down on your calendar.

Seventh, understand that many people will be deeply opposed to their faith during the tribulation. And that's okay. God is with them in their sorrow. God suffers with them. Their hearts are wounded and God is working with it. Don't bypass their grief or their questions with cheap answers to eternal questions. Besides, even if you had a perfect answer from God, would that somehow make their grief any less tragic? I don't think so.

Instead, when difficult questions about faith arise, hug the person and simply say: “I don’t know what’s happening now. But I know that God's heart breaks with yours.". Your theological answer will not go deeper than that. God suffers with him. God knows sorrow. After all, one day He lost his son.

There is no need for your wise theological reasoning during the tribulation. This is rather the time for you to be the embodiment of God, His arms embracing. You don't have to be His mouthpiece.

I hope this has become real help, which many of you have been looking for. However, as I said, I believe that the best option- this is holy, reverent silence.

Your turn: Do you have any advice from your personal experience sorrow? Do you have stories of people who dealt with your grief well?

Unfortunately, not everyone has the gift of eloquence, but this does not mean that this skill cannot be developed in oneself. We all know that you can listen to a person who can speak beautifully for hours! And yet, it should be taken into account that there are a considerable number of different nuances that are important to take into account when developing the skill of rich conversational speech.

1. The art of speaking culturally, brightly and convincingly

Such words seriously pollute our speech, but not everyone understands this. Some people even deliberately insert various slang expressions into conversations, believing that they add color to the dialogue, but in reality it often sounds inappropriate, and sometimes even repulsive.

3. Learn to express your thoughts correctly

To learn how to express your thoughts beautifully, it will not hurt to acquire the ability to listen carefully to those speakers whose speech you like. Also, don’t forget about such a useful skill as reading. Choose books that will help you tune your brain in the right direction. In addition, these can be varied teaching aids, as well as scientific articles.

Reading out loud can also be no less effective, because this is how you will learn to practice diction. Opt for the classic ones works of art famous writers - as a rule, they are distinguished by the richness of their speech.

4. Developing beautiful speech

Most of us speak quite normally in normal situations, however, when some kind of stressful situation arises, many lose confidence, as if “losing the gift of speech.” When you develop competent and beautiful speech, you will stop getting lost in any situations. How to do it?

You probably know that there are people who are able to talk interestingly about any, even the most unremarkable, subject. An example is Anton Chekhov and his story “The Ashtray”. Alas, nature has not endowed everyone with the talents of a famous writer, but almost all of us can still learn to express thoughts beautifully.

If your line of work involves writing texts, public speaking, and the like, then a rich lexicon forms itself over time. It is more difficult for people who do not work in the humanitarian field - they have to put in a little more effort. Listening to the radio, reading books, watching good films and documentaries can help. It is important to pay attention not only to what information is conveyed to you, but also to how exactly the phrases are constructed.

Read a short story and try to retell it. Record your retelling on a voice recorder, listen to it and determine whether your speech sounds beautiful or whether there are some shortcomings. Such training out loud is very important, because it will gradually form melodic speech and enrich you with a stock of new interesting expressions.

A game like this is also useful for developing beautiful speech. Pay attention to some ordinary object - a notepad, a frying pan, a table, etc. For a minute or two, try to write a story about this subject in literary language, without obvious hesitations.

5. Learning to control your speech

The ability to keep your speech under control will distinguish any person from general crowd. It is not surprising that people with such talent at one time turned out to be leaders of nations, whom thousands of people were ready to follow, listening to every word of their leader. Most likely, training will take you some time, but it’s worth it - only this way you will not only have full control of your own speech apparatus, but will intuitively learn to feel how best to address to a certain person, which words are better to choose, and so on. You will also be able not to get lost even in the most unexpected situations, maintaining composure.

Lessons on correct speech - rhetoric exercises

It is important to breathe correctly when speaking

Surely, while listening to the smooth speech of an announcer or some charismatic presenter, you caught yourself thinking that you yourself would like to be able to speak like that. Of course, this can be achieved if you develop your speaking technique. However, first of all, for this you should learn to breathe correctly - deeply, calmly and imperceptibly.

Please note that speech breathing is different from normal breathing. It's about about a controlled process. As you know, diaphragmatic-costal breathing is considered the most convenient for speech. In this case, inhalation and exhalation are performed using the diaphragm and intercostal muscles. The most capacious part of the lungs (lower) comes into activity. At the same time, the shoulders and upper sections chest remain virtually motionless.

You can learn to control your breathing on your own. Place your palm between your stomach and chest - on the diaphragm area. When you inhale, the abdominal wall will rise slightly, Bottom part the chest will expand. Exhalation will be accompanied by contraction of the abdominal and chest muscles. When speaking, the inhalation should be light and short, but the exhalation should be smooth and long (the ratio is approximately one to ten).

When the process of speech occurs, the importance of exhalation increases to a large extent. Before speaking, you should take a quick and deep breath, which is taken both through your nose and mouth. Meanwhile, during speech exhalation, only the mouth is involved.

Correct speech breathing can be called the basis for a beautiful sounding voice. If you breathe incorrectly, this will lead to instability of your voice.

Speak confidently, clearly and clearly

When speaking, try to avoid muttering - speak clearly, distinctly and confidently. Practice reading books out loud - do it slowly and with expression, sometimes speed it up, but continue to speak with expression. Gradually, you will develop the skill of speaking this way in everyday life.

You need to constantly train your gestures and facial expressions

Gesticulation and facial expressions can be called non-verbal means of speech, which should also be trained. Try speaking in front of a camera or mirror to see if you are gesturing too much and “out of line.” At times, this can greatly distract the interlocutor from the topic of conversation. It is also important to observe your facial expressions - both an indifferent facial expression and excessive expression of emotions are unacceptable. In the second case, it may simply look ugly.

Your gestures and facial expressions should look harmonious, smooth and natural, and only sometimes emphasize the meaning of what was said. It is important that the listener still focuses on the meaning of the text, but not on your face or hands.

Is it possible to deliver your speech yourself?

Of course, you can start staging your own speech yourself - it will definitely bear fruit. What tips can you use in this situation?

The ability to express one's thoughts correctly is not innate. We acquire this skill - some manage to do it earlier, others later. If you want to correctly express your thoughts in a conversation with your interlocutor, then keeping a diary or simply writing short stories would be a good practice. Once you start spending some time formulating your thoughts and putting them on paper, over time you will transfer this skill to your life. ordinary life– the necessary phrases will quickly form into sentences are more correct. Also for this skill it would also be good to listen to audio books or read literature.

Read books to increase your vocabulary

Of course, reading fiction will help you improve the quality of your speech. Give preference to Russian classics. If you devote some time every day to reading classical literature, then gradually you will form the habit of speaking in a similar way.

Attend Russian language courses and lessons

Some believe that learning the Russian language occurs only at school, and if you have not acquired the necessary skills there, then in adulthood you will have to take up self-study. In fact, this is not true at all! When you go to the Internet, you will find that there are now many trainings and courses on the Russian language for adults. Such classes are held in almost every city. You can also study online. Having studied information on this issue on the Internet, you will find that if you wish, you can discover great prospects for learning the Russian language.

Starting a conversation can be difficult if you're not sure where to start, and awkward silences can feel uncomfortable. Even if you feel like you have nothing to talk about with someone, there are many ways to engage in an engaging conversation. Search common topics, which can be discussed, and be an active listener to maintain an interesting conversation. Once you become more comfortable communicating with other people, you will be able to start conversations in any situation!

Steps

Start a conversation

Introduce yourself , if you have not seen this person before. If you want to talk to a stranger, walk up to them, make eye contact and smile. Say hello and tell him your name to make him feel comfortable around you. Offer a handshake to establish a connection with the person and make them want to talk. Ask him his name as a natural introduction to a lengthy conversation.

• For example, you could say: “Hi, my name is Anton. Nice to meet you".
• You don't have to introduce yourself if you just want to have a casual chat, but it will help to put you on the other side.

1. Say something positive to engage the person in conversation. Mentioning something negative at the beginning of a conversation will likely discourage the person from opening up and communicating with you. Start talking about something pleasant environment and smile while communicating. This will increase the likelihood that the other person will open up and talk to you. After you mention something nice, ask the person how they feel about it to engage them in conversation.

   • For example, if you're at a party, you could say, “The music is really cool! Do you like it?" - or: “Have you tried the food yet? It is very tasty". Ending a sentence with a question encourages the person to respond and start a conversation.

2. Do compliment to gently start a conversation. For example, mention the person's personality traits or note their outfit. Give your compliment sincerely, otherwise the person may sense the falseness and refrain from talking to you. Then ask a question to keep the conversation going, otherwise the other person may not respond.

   • You could say something like, “This dress looks wonderful. Where did you buy it? - or: “You have a good sense of style. Where do you find your outfits?
   • Whenever possible, use open-ended questions so that the conversation does not end with “yes” or “no.”

   Warning: Don't mention a person's appearance in a conversation, as they may feel awkward and may not respond well.

   Mark something from your surroundings to start a conversation if you can't think of another introduction. If nothing comes to mind, look around and comment on what you see. It could be about the weather, the location of the event, other people, or the event that is happening. Maintain a positive attitude to appear relatable and make the other person more interested in talking to you.

   • For example, you can say: “This is my first time in this cafe. Have you tried anything here?” - or: “I wish the sun would come out today. It wasn’t cloudy last time.”
   • Show a sense of humor during the conversation. This will captivate your interlocutor and make communication more enjoyable.

   Find topics to talk about

   1. Ask the person where they work or study to reference these topics. Reach out to the person you want to chat with and mention their work or school. Ask what his duties are, how long he has worked there, and if anything interesting has happened there in the past. Lately. If he is still a student, ask him what he is studying and what he wants to do after graduation.

      • Be sure to answer all questions if the person in turn asks about your work or your education.
      • Show genuine interest in his work, even if you don't find it particularly exciting. Use this as an opportunity to learn more about the person and the topic.

   2. Discuss common interests to get to know the person better. People love to talk about their hobbies, so ask the other person what they like to do outside of work or school, and note any areas that seem interesting to you. Find out what exactly attracts him to this hobby and why he likes it. If he asks about your hobbies, first mention similar things to him to keep the conversation going. If you are attracted to one of his hobbies, ask how you can join him so that you can try it too.

      • For example, you could say something like, “Oh, I've never carved wood. Where is the best place for a beginner to start?
      • Do not interrupt your interlocutor under any circumstances and do not discuss only your interests. Ask questions about what the person likes to create a pleasant mutual dialogue.

   3. Discuss movies, TV shows, or books if you want to talk about pop culture. Many people share similar tastes in media, so discuss the latest movies and music you've watched or listened to and gauge the other person's interests. Ask what information resources he has liked lately and why. If you both saw or heard the same thing, discuss it and exchange ideas to keep the conversation going.

      • For example, you can say: “Have you seen the new movie from the universe” star Wars"? What did you think of the ending? - or: “What kind of music do you prefer? Do you have a favorite artist that you could recommend to me?”
      • Even if you don't agree with his opinion, remain positive and say something like, "Oh, I've never looked at it that way, but I understand what you're saying." This way, the other person won't feel like he's being rebuffed, and he'll still be engaged in the conversation.
      • If you have no idea what the person is talking about, ask for clarification so you can understand it better. It's okay to say, "I don't know," if you're not familiar with the information he's mentioning.

   4. Talk about your past experiences if you want to open up to the person. If you feel comfortable with the person you're talking to, it's probably okay to ask about their background or what they want to do in the future. Ask him about funny things that have happened to him, what his family is like, or what goals he has. Share your experiences so you can open up and connect with the other person.

      • For example, you could say something like, “Where are you from? Do you like it there? - or: “What did you want to become as a child?”
      • A stranger may find it strange if you ask too many questions about his personal life right when you first meet him. Only ask deeper questions if you both feel comfortable answering them.
      • Never try to outdo or impress someone, as this may make them feel uncomfortable and want to leave the conversation.

   5. Ask a person's opinion on current events to get their attention. Check out current events from the news or social networks and mention them in conversation. Last week there were at least one or two significant events that can be mentioned in conversation. Find out what the person thinks about this and how he feels about this issue. Be prepared to also express your opinion, since perhaps your interlocutor will be interested in it.

      • For example, you could say something like, “Have you heard about the new music app that just came out? I saw a story about it on the news."

      Warning: Be careful when bringing up sensitive topics, such as those related to politics or religion, as they may upset the person or discourage communication.

   Stay engaged in the conversation

   Actively listen to the other person to respond appropriately. Put your phone aside and focus all your attention on the other person while they are talking. Maintain eye contact so he knows you are paying attention and actively listening to him. Ask him questions based on what he says to stay engaged in the conversation.

   • When he finishes his thought, briefly paraphrase his words so that he understands that you were paying attention to what he was saying. For example, if he mentioned buying a new car, you could ask, “What model did you end up buying? How did you feel about the ride?
   • Try not to think about other things while the other person is expressing his thoughts, as you may not be able to respond correctly to his words when he stops talking.

   1. Use the phrase:“This reminds me...” - to go to new topic. If the person mentions an aspect that you can relate to, use the phrase, “That reminds me of...” before moving on to your topic. This way, you can easily switch between multiple topics naturally without any awkward interruptions in the conversation. Make sure that the topics are connected in some way so that the transition is smooth and so that it is easier for the other person to follow your train of thought.

      • For example, if he mentions good weather, you could say, “Your words brought back memories of the great weather in the Krasnodar region when I was there. Have you been there?

      Advice: You can use the phrase “that reminds me of...” (and similar ones) after a pause in conversation if you are noticing something from your environment. For example, if you've already had a conversation with someone and a musician comes on stage, you might say, “Oh, this guy is really good. He reminds me of another musician." Then you can move on to talking about music.

   2. Say things that come to mind to keep the conversation exciting. If you think about something during a random pause in the conversation, bring it up and ask the other person's opinion about it. Don't interrupt if you mention something while the person is speaking, as this will be rude. Make sure the person is comfortable discussing the topic, otherwise they may be discouraged from continuing the conversation.

      • For example, you could say: “I just remembered funny story which I read on the Internet. Do you want to hear?
      • Perhaps a person will not be receptive to discussing a random topic if you have not communicated with him before.

Previously we talked about the fact that . Today we will talk to the site’s subscribers about which words need to be used more often in order to catch luck by the tail.

To find joy in life, get rid of problems and achieve success, you don’t need to make titanic efforts, writes Kluber. The main thing is to believe in yourself and give yourself a positive attitude. This can be done using the power of words.

Even in ancient times, people realized that words spoken with conviction and repeated over and over again can have an impact. strong influence on the life and destiny of a person. It was noticed that the frequent use of words with a sharply negative meaning leads to aggravation of problems, and, on the contrary, the predominance of “positive” words in speech gives a person such strength that he gets out of the most difficult situations. life situations and achieves success.

Our wise ancestors used this observation to make conspiracies truly effective, notes JoeInfoMedia journalist Nastya Art. And modern psychologists have confirmed the connection between what we say and our sense of self and luck. The thing is that the words we often pronounce are deposited in the subconscious and cause a special reaction in the body, influencing our behavior and life in general.

Therefore, if problems haunt you, it’s time to think about what words you say most often. Here is a list of 10 words that will help get rid of problems and attract good luck.

10 correct words

Luck. Yes, luck loves to be called by name. But you need to use this word confidently and only with a positive attitude. No “Oh, if only luck smiled at me...”. Instead, you should say, “I believe that luck will smile on me today.”

Happiness. Happiness is what you strive for. Remind yourself of this goal every day and look into the future with confidence: “I will definitely achieve my happiness.” By repeating this word, you will bring your goal closer to yourself, and after a while you will really feel like a happy person.

Love. The ability to love yourself and the world- a guarantee of good luck, which does not like callous people. Remind your loved ones to talk about your feelings, and don’t be afraid to admit your love for the world. Say: “I love this world for its beauty and the opportunities it opens up for me.” And the world will rush to reciprocate your feelings.

Wellbeing. The word consists of two parts, and if we rearrange them, we will see the combination “receive good.” If you use this word often, and especially if you wish the well-being of other people, you will really begin to benefit from life and bring good luck to yourself.

Gratitude. If you break this word down into its components, you get the combination “to give a benefit.” Fortune turns its back on those who are only able to receive without giving anything in return. Therefore, thank for your successes - saying the word “thank you” - close people, fortunate circumstances, those who provided you with help, albeit insignificant, and next time luck will not deny you its favor again.

Success. To ensure that all your endeavors are crowned with success, say this word more often. This way you will program yourself for luck and achieve what you want.

Confidence. Confidence is one of the fundamental feelings of successful people. If you believe in yourself, then Fortune will give you favor. Frequent repetition of this word will help you feel confident in your abilities, convince yourself of your own faith, even if at first you had doubts.

Confidence. In order for circumstances to develop successfully, you need to trust life. Before something important to you, talk more often about trust: “I have confidence in life. I know that life circumstances will work out in my favor."

Health. The key to success is physical and moral health. Negative words, discussions of illnesses and constant complaints about well-being not only attract problems, but also worsen the condition of the body. But the word “health” in positive combinations will help you always feel good.

Hope. Hope forces a person to gather strength into a fist and move on even in the most difficult situations. Say “I hope for the best,” and luck will definitely hear you and justify your hope.

Despite the fact that men have a calmer disposition and very rarely show negative emotions towards the women they love, sometimes even they cannot restrain themselves when they hear unpleasant words from the lips of representatives of the fair half of humanity. But, besides what men don’t want to hear, there are also phrases that they agree to listen to for hours. If you love your chosen one and want to bring him joy as often as possible, take care of what you need to say to a man.

What not to say to a man

Remember once and for all that all the cute nicknames and words that you say to your beloved man should not go beyond your home. Even if he happily accepts everything you say to him in private, this does not mean at all that he will be just as pleased to hear them in the presence of strangers and especially friends. Having heard such sweet words, his acquaintances and friends will not fail to once again make fun of him or smile behind his back.

Shows of tenderness in society cause irreparable damage to male pride, making him weak in the eyes of other representatives of the stronger half of humanity. And most likely, his wives can call his friends even more affectionately, but in public they will never appreciate such manifestations of love, as well as overly gentle touches reminiscent of maternal care. But he will always appreciate the emphasis on his masculine qualities, how strong and caring he is, how many times he has helped you out in difficult situations, and that without him you would certainly never have completed some very important task. Men value admiration from women like nothing else. These words are a real balm for their wounded souls in the struggle for a place in the sun.

Do not tell your husband about your imaginary and real shortcomings. Don't draw his attention to the fact that you've gained weight, become worse at cooking, or stopped taking care of yourself. Usually men rarely pay attention to what they think are little things, but if they hear such conversations, they will subconsciously begin to look closely at you and look for flaws to make sure that you are not deceiving him. Don't forget that in the heat of conflict, a person can use these words against you. Always be the best for your man. And to do this, only talk about how you have become slimmer, more beautiful and younger. And that there is no one better than you in the world. Men believe what they hear from the women they love.

If a representative of the stronger half of humanity did not do something, although he promised, ask him to do it again. There is no need to remind once again that he failed. Few people will like the fact that they blame him for something that he himself has already repented of a hundred times. It’s better to say that you can’t do without his help and could he go buy bread, put away socks, take out the trash or help prepare dinner, and your gratitude will know no bounds. There is no need to walk around all evening, offended, and trying to convict him of being indifferent to you. Believe me, he himself has already felt guilty a hundred times for not keeping his promise, so when he hears, instead of further complaints, a simple request to do what he did not have time to do, he will do what is needed with double zeal.

Under no circumstances compare a man with other representatives of the stronger half of humanity. No matter how much he offends you, no matter what he does, mentioning that your old friend is a thousand times better than him will not correct the situation, but will only provoke a quarrel and resentment. Since you live with this man, it means that he is the best for you and there is no one in the world who can compare with him. And any misunderstandings can be resolved by discussing the disagreements that have arisen and remembering how dear you are to each other. Your love is priceless to be exchanged for squabbles. Remember your feelings more often, and you will be surprised how much easier it will become to live and find a common language with the man you love.

Photo: what you should and shouldn’t say to a man

Don't criticize his work, hobbies, former women and friends. Any negativity towards them is perceived by a representative of the stronger half of humanity as criticism of his personality. After all, he chose these women, and since they are not so good, it means he doesn’t know how to choose his favorite ones. Constantly emphasizing his superiority over his ex can have the opposite effect. A man may decide that you are not suitable for him either, because, according to your own words, he does not know how to choose women at all. The same applies to his work. Self-realization is very important for any man, and it is at work that he can feel what contribution he can make to the development of society, no matter how pretentious it may sound. Therefore, the slightest criticism will be perceived as a belittlement of his dignity, and he is unlikely to like it.

If you don't like his job, then it's better to carefully ask why he chose it. Maybe he himself has been wanting to change it for a long time, but he thinks that you won’t approve of such a decision, or there is a way to take a better-paid position. If the work completely suits your loved one, then all that remains is to accept it, since you love this man.

In general, try to express an opinion without assessing what he is doing, but suggesting ways to solve some issues or problems. In any case, take an interest in his affairs, what is happening with his friends and relatives, even if you could not find a common language with them. Understanding that you are doing this for his sake, a man will be able to appreciate how lucky he is to have you.

Top 7 phrases to say to a man

• Tell him about your love. Don't look for a reason or the right time. Greet him with words of love from work when he wakes up or goes to rest, sits down to watch TV or has dinner. Believe me, men like the phrase “I love you” no less than women. If you want, leave him a note, describing the full strength of your feelings. When he wakes up, he will happily remember once again how happy he is.

• Tell him how proud you are of him. No matter what he does, no matter what he says, no matter what he decides, no matter how he acts, there will always be that moment when you can tell him that he is worthy of your respect. How could it be different if you agreed to become his wife or bride. He brought home an unfortunate puppy, a kitten, a stray dog, who did not even hope that he would be noticed and saved. Don’t say that you don’t have the strength to look after the animal, but say how kind he is and that you are following him, like stone wall. All difficulties will be left behind, and you will forever remember what a big heart your loved one has, seeing how your new pet clings to his lap, thanking him for saving him.
• There is always a reason to say what “golden” hands he has, because when something breaks, you immediately turn to him for help so that he can help and fix it. How many broken things he was able to fix, or, in the end, buy. And in difficult situation, is it really not a man who is looking for a way out, what to do and how to be. The main thing is not to forget that sometimes men need words of admiration and approval more than women.

• When choosing clothes for him or going to visit him, emphasize how beautiful his eyes are, how courageous his face is, and how his figure drives you crazy. Just be prepared that you may be late for your visit.
• In addition to words of love, do not forget to say that there is no such man in the world anymore, and there never will be. That for you he is the one and only and that you are grateful to fate for giving you a meeting with him.
• Tell your chosen one as often as possible how proud you are of him, and that he, like no one else, is worthy of respect and gratitude. It doesn’t matter what he did today, the main thing is that he cares about you and tries to turn your life into a real fairy tale. How much lies on his shoulders, but he carries this load on his strong shoulders, protecting you from all the adversities and difficulties of this world. Recognition of his merits from your lips will be the best praise and appreciation for his work.
• Compliment him, tell him how strong, smart, courageous, amazing and caring he is. How happy you are to be next to him, feeling his love. For him to finally fall at your feet, tell him that meeting him changed your life beyond recognition, turning it into a fairy tale.

Photo: what you should and shouldn’t say to a man

Having learned what to say to a man, you will never get into trouble, you will not feel his anger and dissatisfaction by saying something wrong. The ability to please your loved one will be a huge advantage over other representatives of the fair sex. You can rest assured that a man will never want to leave such a magician who knows how to give joy, even in words, for another.