How to see the good in a person. Why do we see people distorted, and what to do to see reality

When you see another person's strengths, they give you approval and encouragement. Inner joy bubbles up from the depths of your soul to show your partner that you like what they are doing, feeling or expressing themselves.

The ability to see the best in another person allows you to communicate with a successful person without noticing his weaknesses, which are inherent in everyone. It is the way you look at the people around you that makes you a happy or unhappy person.

How can you see the best in another person?

All people have strong and weak qualities of character and behavior. Strengths allow a person to do pleasant positive actions to loved ones. Weaknesses do not contribute to quick and correct human behavior in some situations. And you have the choice of what to pay attention to.

A look of happiness or sadness?

Depending on whether you notice mistakes, criticize the qualities and shortcomings of another person, a positive or negative attitude is formed. Seeing a person as a bundle of wrong actions, thoughts and opinions, you treat him as a pathological loser. Whatever a person does to you, you will only see errors. This is a look of despondency.

Otherwise, when you see the same person as a person capable of both success and failure, which do not touch your soul, your perception of all the actions and actions of your partner becomes positive. Taking a positive approach to another person's failures and focusing on their strengths allows you to see the best and experience happiness.

There is such a film - “The Invention of Lying”. It talks about a world in which no one could lie. One day, something broke in the brain of one inhabitant of this world, and he uttered his first lie. In order not to spoil the impression of the film, I will not say further and I advise you to watch it to learn about what our world could look like without lies.

And since in the real world there are more than enough lies and deceit, here are a few ways to fight them and bring a person you don’t trust to clean water.

Observe a person in a critical situation

When a person has to act critical situation, he cannot dissemble or play. He does not have the ability to use masks, and he will most likely act as his instincts dictate.

People who have been offended by life most often lash out service personnel. Waiters, cleaners, salespeople - they all get it. If a person whistles or snaps his fingers at the waiter, this is the first sign that your interlocutor is an idiot.

Watch your body language and intonation

It's not difficult to find. Liars can be recognized by several signs:

1. Pauses in conversation.
2. Averting your eyes when answering a question.
3. Changing the topic of conversation.
4. They make excuses even when you don’t reproach them.
5. Faces are often touched.

Of course, you shouldn’t overdo it and follow every gesture of your interlocutor. But sometimes this little cheat sheet helps clear things up.

Gossip about mutual friends

We love gossip to a greater or lesser extent. And, unfortunately, we often do not know the extent of them. By gossiping about mutual friends, you will see with your own eyes how much crap can come out of a seemingly good person.

Lend or borrow money

And although we have already said that this is the last thing you should think about, but by borrowing or lending money to a person, you can learn a lot of new things about him.

Go on a trip together

Extreme way. If you are already thinking about how to bring a person to clean water, then going on a trip with him is not the best idea. best idea. But after spending some time alone, you will see all his cockroaches.

Tell me a secret

Telling a secret will test a person's ability to keep secrets. If you don't trust him, you can tell him a trivial secret or a made-up secret, just to see if he will rush to retell it further.

Have there been situations in your life when you needed to understand what a person really is like? What did you do?

Have you ever heard the expression “you should only see the good in people”? Or "beauty is in the eye of the beholder"? Surely you heard. Ever wondered what this even means? For example, I sit and think: “Masha is actually a bitch and a fool, but she has a good figure, she does cross stitch well, and yesterday she fed a stray kitten.” Something is wrong here, don't you think? This superficial reasoning is unlikely to truly change our attitude towards a person.

The other day I attended a satsang of the spiritual master Om Baba. I really liked what he said. I'll retell it briefly in my own words.

People are very different. Some are thin and others are fat, some have a big nose or protruding ears, some behave well, while others are disgraceful. We love some people, but we can't stand others. For example, we love polite and sociable people, we don’t like gloomy and withdrawn people. We love slim people and have a bad attitude towards fat people. We don't like bald people, but we like it when people have beautiful hair.

But a person’s appearance and behavior are always imperfect. We all have flaws, starting with ourselves. Look at this world - you will not find a person with perfect appearance or perfect behavior. Why do we pay so much attention to what is initially imperfect, why do we attach so much importance to it?

And at the same time, inside each of us there is something perfect and beautiful. This is the soul, or the light of the heart, or a piece of the divine - call it what you want. But we don’t see this, our attention is focused on the external, on what is imperfect. And so we lose the opportunity to love. It's like looking at beautiful flower, but see only a fly perched on the edge of a leaf. And if we saw what is perfect in people, we could love them all.

I’ll leave Om Baba’s lecture here and continue on my own.

Well, okay, you say. But how can you love everyone?

Here Petya is sitting in front of me, his face is unshaven, he smells of yesterday’s fumes, his trousers are wrinkled, his eyes are cloudy, and how can I see the beautiful soul in him?

Or is the director, red-faced, yelling obscenities so loudly that your head is pulled into your shoulders to the very top of your head?
And where is his soul if he doesn’t pay his salary on time and forces him to work overtime?

Once there was a post in the top in which one young man shared that he really doesn’t like it when a girl has short nail plates. Yes, even if she were Angelina Jolie herself, but if her nails are short, then that’s it, she will never receive his precious attention in her life.

And there were several hundred comments under this post. And everyone proudly declared what they hated. Some people don’t like crooked legs, some are disgusted by a mole on their cheek, some are disgusted by a single hair in the wrong place.
In fact, each of them signed their own self-restraints. Everyone talked about how many wonderful people he could not love because of a small, insignificant flaw, how many interesting opportunities will lose. This is not something to be proud of. This is something you need to work on. But neither logic, nor self-conviction, nor an attempt to seem good and “loving everyone” in your own eyes will help here. It will only get worse.

How then, how to learn to see the soul in a person? How does this even happen?

Have you ever looked into the eyes of an enlightened master? I looked. Pure love flows from them. He is sincerely happy to see everyone he meets on his way. This joy, this love pours out of him in a pure, free stream. And you feel the way you only felt in distant childhood. It’s as if there is the closest, dearest, most loving person next to you, who protects you so that nothing bad can happen to you. And you don’t even know yet that something bad can happen in life. You are standing in the hall, there are three hundred more people next to you, and each of them feels the same. You don't have to be anyone or anything, you don't have to deserve this love, you don't have to pay for it, it just envelops you and that's it. You're just happy to be. It cannot be explained or conveyed, it can only be felt.

I will never forget the day when I swam in the lake for the first time in winter. One girl was sick and did not swim with us. She then said: “You were all so beautiful when you came out of the water...”

Have you ever seen people who perform extreme practices and austerities? For example, they read mantras all night long, or swim in an ice hole in winter, or douse themselves after a bath ice water in the cold, and then meditate? These people are beautiful. They are unimaginably beautiful. And where does everything go - the tummy is there, or the stoop, or the scar, or cellulite. No, all this, of course, remains. But such light emanates from a person that you stop paying attention to everything else. And these are not enlightened masters, not monks, not yoga teachers. Ordinary people who go to work, solve everyday problems, and raise children. Ordinary and beautiful.

Because beauty is natural state person. But this beauty is hidden under so many layers of masks that it cannot be seen. And before the eyes of the beholder there is a veil.

To see it, you must first see this light within yourself. And then feel that this light is in absolutely everyone. This experience is beyond the mind. It cannot be described or logically explained, it can only be experienced. This is a state in which everything changes. The world becomes immensely large and unusually beautiful. This is finding true freedom - when your inner state does not depend on what is happening outside.

And there is an incredibly long path leading to this - the path of working on yourself.
This is the way to always have beauty in your eyes.

Would you like to tell me how yoga helps in this work, and why asceticism works this way?
I have my own theory, writers have a rich imagination :)

Good and bad are a figment of our imagination!

As you know, any events that happen in our lives are not good or bad. This is just our interpretation of what is happening. We ourselves label them bad or good, passing them through the filters of our perception. Essentially everything life situations neutral. And we can give them a positive or negative connotation at will.

Most often, attaching “bad” and “good” labels occurs unconsciously. Most of us do not consciously choose our attitude towards a situation. The selection is automatic, stereotyped, based on our previous experience, beliefs, habits, etc. And events that seem “bad” at first glance do not always turn out to be so.

Everything “bad” is good!

Here is an excerpt from a story I found on the Internet. The author was not specified:

For example, after school I did not go to college. This seemed like a very negative event to me. However, this allowed me to save years of my life by acquiring a profession that was completely unnecessary for me.

As a teenager, I was very successful in freestyle wrestling and won many competitions. At one tournament, I suffered a fracture of my arm with a very strong displacement in the joint. On the one hand, this put an end to my sports career. On the other hand, this is clearly not what I would like to do in life. Also, this allowed me not to serve in our valiant army. And having large number friends who had served, there was no desire at all to waste two years of their lives for nothing.

One day, a girl whom I considered the meaning of my life left me. This was the collapse of my ideals. The world around ceased to exist. If someone had told me at that moment that this was the best thing that could happen to me, I would have hated that person. But everything turned out exactly like that. It allowed me to completely rethink my life. Throw away all the old ineffective beliefs and behavior patterns! Stop living Groundhog Day without goals and dreams. I stopped existing and began to live. All the changes that have followed have been incredible and they just keep going faster and faster. All that was left of my previous self was the photo in my passport. And I am very grateful to life for such a lesson.

I am sure that everyone, having delved a little into their memories, will find many similar events. Something that seems very bad to us at the moment, be it dismissal from work, divorce, illness, failure in business, etc. – all this often turns out to be useful and necessary in the future.

Wisdom is to see the positive in everything!

The ability to find the positives in seemingly obviously negative and unfavorable events is the simplest key to happiness and success. It is impossible to unbalance a person who finds its advantages and advantages in any situation. Internal state People who are positive-minded are many times better than people who look everywhere primarily for cons and disadvantages. I think it’s obvious to everyone that a positively-minded person has many times more chances of success than his depressed counterpart.

Businessman with a smile and good mood, will be closer to closing the deal. A cheerful and positive guy will have much more success with girls. The chain can be continued indefinitely.

Many people tend to underestimate the degree of their influence on the perception of events. However, I will give an example of one educational story.

What is freedom of choice?

Two brothers grew up in one dysfunctional family. The mother was a drunkard and drug addict, the father also drank a lot and stole. The children grew up in a terrible environment. As a result, the mother drank herself to death and the father was sent to prison. One of the brothers tried drugs very early on, got involved with a criminal gang and ended up in prison. Then again and again. When during interrogation he was asked why he went to prison, he told the story of his childhood, how his parents behaved and said that he had.

His brother, on the contrary, became a successful businessman and very famous person. When journalists learned the story of his childhood, they were amazed and asked how he was able to achieve such heights, having spent his childhood in terrible conditions. He said that I saw how his parents lived and what it led to. I have there was no choice to do differently.

Same environment, same upbringing, same opportunities. The diametrically opposite position became possible due to the difference in the perception of events. It is this difference that often gives some a taste of joy, others pain and suffering. It is she who allows us to feel happy or unhappy.

We don't always choose events. But we choose how to treat them!

Anyone can have a positive outlook on life. And you can start today. You may find a silver lining in missing your plane. Or several advantages. You can find positives in being sick. You may find positives in breaking up with your boyfriend or girlfriend. You can find a lot of positives in being fired from your job. You can find positives in anything. Or you may find cons. However, now you understand that you make your own choices. Knowing this, you will be much more aware than you were before. And even if not everything works out at first, gradually it will become a habit, and you will be amazed at the changes that will happen around you.

There is a great way to make this a habit. A few years ago, Will Bowen came up with simple idea- put a purple bracelet on your hand to live 21 days without complaints, whining and dissatisfaction. If during this time, a person still says or thinks about something negative, he puts the bracelet on his other hand and starts counting again until he wears the bracelet on one hand for 21 days. People's lives are changing beyond recognition.

Try to live in a world without negativity. Maybe you'll like it? ;)

Just interesting and entertaining, but completely useless facts about a person, his life and body.

This material is for entertainment purposes only and does not claim to be a scientific article.

Read interesting facts about the person and enlighten yourself!

1. It turns out that the strongest muscle in the human body is the tongue.
2. Not a single living creature in the world, except humans, is able to draw a straight line.
3. Please note that a person cannot sneeze with their eyes open.
4. It is denied that women blink 2 times more often than men.
5. A person's heart is approximately the size of his fist and weighs about 240 grams.
6. If you add up the weight of all the bacteria living in the human body, it will be equal to approximately two kilograms.
7. An adult inhales and exhales approximately 23,000 times per day.
8. The right lung of a person is larger than the left. And, accordingly, it holds a larger volume of air.
9. There are about two million sweat glands on the human body.
10. People are born without kneecaps. They appear between the ages of two and six years.
11. The human eye can distinguish about 2,000,000 shades of color.
12. More than 40,000 different bacteria live and thrive in the human mouth.
13. Nerve impulses travel through the human body at a speed of 90 meters per second.
14. There are 206 bones in the adult human body, although at birth there are about 300.
15. From the fats contained in the human body, you can make about seven bars of soap.
16. Toenails grow 4 times slower than fingernails.
17. There are approximately 70 kilometers of nerves in the human body.
18. Probability of matching fingerprints different people, approximately 1/24 million.
19. Only 30% of the world's population has own opinion. The remaining 70% depend on the opinion of the majority.
20. About 1 percent of people stutter. And a third of them are male.
21. The surface area of ​​a person's lungs is equal to the area of ​​a tennis court.
22. Each person's tongue print is as individual as their fingerprints.
23. The older a person gets, the less sense of taste he experiences.
24. The only part of the human body that cannot be restored is the teeth.
25. The human head weighs about 3.5 kilograms.
26. A person burns fewer calories while watching TV than while sleeping.
27. The anatomy of the human body does not allow you to lick your own elbow.
28. The length of all human blood vessels is exactly 100,000 kilometers.
29. At rest, that is, lying down, a person consumes about 500 liters of oxygen.
30. The human eye fully adapts to darkness in 60 to 80 minutes.
31. Hair on the human head grows at a rate of 0.4 millimeters per minute.
32. The 24,000 taste receptors found on the human tongue work best at 24 degrees Celsius.
33. Every day 25,000 children are born on our planet. About 3 people per second.
34. About 18 percent of people on Earth are left-handed. Of these, 10 percent are men and 8 percent are women.
35. Among female names, the most common in the world is the name Anna, among male names - Muhamed. Well, the most common surname is Chang.
36. The human brain processes information transmitted by the eye in just 1/20 of a second.
37. Today, almost half of the world's population has never spoken on the phone.
38. Each person blinks on average 17,000 times a day.
39. Food is completely digested by the body in approximately 12 hours.
40. More than 40 percent of people snore.
41. A person perceives 90 percent of information about the world around him through vision.
42. Over the course of a lifetime, the average person eats about 50 tons of food and drinks 50,000 liters of liquid.
43. The area of ​​human skin is about two square meters.
44. On average, a person sheds up to 18 kilograms of skin over the course of his life.
45. Statistically, the most commonly broken bone is the collarbone.
46. The multicolored reflections that appear when you rub your eyes are called "Phosphenes".
47. During a sneeze, a person's heart stops momentarily. Prolonged, continuous sneezing can cause serious problems. Even a heart attack.
48. If you don't shave your whole life, a man can grow a beard 9 meters long.
49. Hair on the human body does not grow only on the palms, soles of the feet and lips.
50. When frightened, a person turns pale due to the fact that the body, protecting itself from the bite of a potential predator, diverts blood into the body.
51. Lack of sleep has a significant impact on the ability to remember, worsening it.
52. You can't commit suicide by simply stopping breathing. The person will lose consciousness and begin breathing again.
53. Only 2 percent of people can see infrared or ultraviolet radiation.
54. Hair on the human head lives from 3 to 6 years.
55. It is generally accepted that the brain works slower during sleep than during activity. But this is absolutely not true. in fact, it's the other way around.
56. Approximately every 50 people on the planet have virtually no smell.
57. A person cannot taste food without saliva in the mouth.
58. Volume bladder per person about 500 milliliters.
59. A person is not able to tickle himself, since the brain recognizes and does not take into account these sensations.
60. The human jaw bone is the strongest in the body.
61. Out of sixty years a person sleeps approximately twenty.
62. Chewing gum while cutting onions will prevent you from crying.
63. The skeleton of an adult weighs 8 kilograms.
64. More people die from bee stings every year than from snake bites.
65. If you give it to a group of people new pen, 73 percent will write their name.
66. The contraction of the masticatory muscles reaches a force of 400 kilograms.
67. Every person living on earth is a relative of another in at least 50 generations.
68. Umbilicus - scientific name navel