Hatred does not appear spontaneously. It starts with anger. And if anger and anger are feelings inherent in nature, then embitterment and hatred are the creation of man. To better understand the difference between these feelings, it is necessary to consider each of them separately.

1. Anger and anger- feelings that arise, as a rule, on the basis of injustice. Such emotions are quite acceptable, since they force the subject to take certain measures related to improving the quality of life. They differ from each other only in the intensity with which they are experienced by the subject.
2. Bitterness and hatred– a long-lasting and unsatisfied feeling of anger and disgust. It can manifest itself both in relation to certain living beings and to the world as a whole. As in the previous case, they differ from each other in the intensity with which they are experienced by the subject.

How does hatred affect a person?

Any emotions, depending on their quality, affect the human body.

The highest qualities are possessed by bright feelings, such as love, kindness and gratitude. Feelings with the most low qualities– bitterness and hatred. It is low-quality emotions that can cause harm to a person, including:

1. Long-term depression.
2. Detachment from normal life in society.
3. The development of diseases in different organs of the body.
4. Mental disorders due to dissatisfaction with oneself.
5. Cutting ties with family and friends.
6. Failures at work and in personal life.
7. Loss of desire and opportunities for self-realization.

Anger at the world and people

Such hatred manifests itself in people who have created an insurmountable gap between the desired vision of the world and society, and the world that it is in reality. This negative emotion also manifests itself in relation to a certain segment of society, united general characteristics. Typically, the following people experience hatred:

1. Envious.
2. Unrealized as individuals.
3. Unrealized as specialists in a certain field.
4. With a lack of love in childhood and adulthood.
5. Limited by something or deprived of something.

Hatred towards a specific person

You can hate a specific person for understandable reasons.

For example, one might consider aversion to ex-husband. Let's say a woman hates her ex because of his addiction to alcohol, uncultured speech, or disrespect for her. Perhaps he beat her or otherwise suppressed her potential. In this case, her negative attitude towards this person is quite understandable. But in reality, this woman hates not only the actions of her beating man. She hates the dream he destroyed of perfect marriage and an ideal husband.

Let's also consider bitterness towards the boss. He is rude, overwhelms you with work, never thanks you, deprives you of bonuses and is generally completely unfair. And even in this case, the subordinate hates not only the personal qualities of the boss. This negative feeling concerns the same shattered dream. IN in this case personal vision of an ideal job does not coincide with reality. Directly or indirectly, a person blames his boss for this, which is why he becomes the subject of hatred.

And if anger in this case stimulates a person to search best options for life, then hatred makes everything different.

Hatred is completely consuming. It leads to fixation on the subject towards whom negative feelings are experienced. And such a condition is fraught with serious consequences.

Self-hatred

Considered the most dangerous. It can be hidden, or it can be obvious.

Hidden

It often manifests itself along with hatred towards a specific person, for example, towards the same ex. In this case, the woman hates herself for her weakness, inability to fight back, indecisiveness, etc. Subconsciously, she blames herself as much as she consciously blames her ex-husband.

Explicit

Assumes that a person is disgusted with his appearance, physical characteristics, mental capacity etc. Most often, self-loathing appears due to children's complexes. And often the parents themselves are to blame for this. Even the most common remark, “You’re being disgusting,” can seriously harm a child. These words, repeated many times, make the child think that he is disgusting. After all, parents are the main authorities in a child’s life, and they are always right. Therefore, a parent must understand the importance of every non-forest word spoken to his son or daughter.

Determining the cause

Correctly identifying the cause of anger will help you deal with it faster. A method that involves having a pen and a sheet of paper is great for this.

1. First, you need to write down all the qualities and actions of the subject of hatred that cause disgust. Such a list consists of three or more items.
2. Next, you need to consider each point in detail.

Almost all negative qualities from the list you can find from many other people, even from yourself. This does not mean that a person hates himself. This means that a woman or man is biased towards the subject of their negative feelings. After all, in reality, there are only one or two points that really generate disgust. They can be quite serious, but they can also be minor. And depending on their type, it is necessary to select one or another method of getting rid of hatred.

Search for the positive

Positivity is The best way getting rid of negative feelings. For people, this method involves a minimum of effort, since pleasant emotions can be experienced from anything, for example:

• From communicating with friends and loved ones.
• From walks in nature.
• From attending various events.
• From mutual feelings of love.
• From doing something that a person likes.

The ability to forgive

Forgiveness helps you get rid of hatred. This skill allows you to cope with many troubles in life. It eliminates internal discomfort caused by other people.

A person who knows how to forgive is in a significantly better position than a person who continues to react to stimuli with insults.

Those who leave old grievances in the past are much less susceptible to stress and depression. They have better health, and their lives are full of pleasant events.

However, not everyone is capable of this generous act. After all, it is easier to hate than to forgive. But it is important to always remember that the ability to forgive is an integral part of a high-quality life.

Self love

Self-love should be instilled from childhood.

Parents are obliged to make it clear to the child that every person is beautiful in their own way and deserves love.

To overcome self-loathing and hatred, a person needs to love himself. This feeling can heal not only the soul, but also the body. There are many confirmed cases where a person, by changing his attitude towards himself, completely changed his life for the better.

1. Hate in response to hate

We usually don't like people who don't like us. The more we think they hate us, the more we hate them back.

2. Competition

When we compete for something, our mistakes can benefit our competitors. In such cases, in order to maintain our self-esteem, we shift the blame to others. We begin to blame our failures (real and imaginary) on those who are doing better. Gradually our disappointment can turn into hatred.

3. Us and them

The ability to distinguish from enemies has always been vital for safety and survival. Our thought processes have evolved to be faster at spotting potential danger and responding accordingly. Therefore, we constantly enter information about others into our own “directory”, where all our views about different people and even entire classes of people.

We usually classify everything into one of two categories: right or wrong, good or bad. And since most of us don't stand out in any way, even minor, superficial differences, such as race or religious belief, can become an important source of identification. After all, we, first of all, always strive to belong to a group.

When we consider ourselves part of a particular group that we perceive to be superior to others, we are less inclined to sympathize with members of other groups.

4. From compassion to hatred

We consider ourselves responsive, empathetic and welcoming. Then why do we still experience hatred?

The fact is that we have a clearly formed opinion about ourselves and our rightness. And if we cannot reach a compromise, we, of course, blame the other side. Our inability to fully appreciate the situation, as well as the fact that we always make excuses for ourselves, lead us to believe that the problem is not with us, but with those around us. This view often incites hatred.

In addition, in such situations we usually consider ourselves the victim. And those who violate our rights or limit our freedom seem to us to be offenders who deserve punishment.

5. The influence of prejudice

Prejudice can influence our judgments and decisions in many ways. Here are some examples.

Ignoring the other side's strengths

There are no clear-cut situations. Everyone has their own advantages and disadvantages. But when we are in the grip of hatred, ours is distorted to such an extent that we do not see any positive qualities. This is how we develop an incorrect idea about a person, which is then quite difficult to change.

Hate by association

According to this principle, the nature of the news influences our perception of the person reporting it. The worse the incident, the worse everything connected with it seems to us. This is why we blame the messenger, even if he has nothing to do with the event.

Misrepresentation of facts

Under the influence of prejudices based on likes and dislikes, we usually fill in gaps in information about an event or person, relying not on specific data, but on our own assumptions.

The desire to please

We all value the opinions of others to varying degrees. Few people want to be hated. Social approval greatly influences our behavior. Remember the words of the French writer and philosopher La Rochefoucauld: “We willingly admit to small shortcomings, wanting to say that we do not have more important ones.”

How does hatred manifest itself?

Physical and mental pain is a very effective stimulus. We don't want to suffer, so we strive to either avoid or destroy the enemy. In other words, hatred is defense mechanism against pain.

Hatred can find different expressions. The most obvious of them is war.

Moreover, it manifests itself in politics. Remember these eternal confrontations: left and right, nationalists and communists, libertarians and authoritarians.

How to get rid of hatred

• First, through prolonged close contact with people. Collaboration is especially effective when you collaborate to achieve a common goal or unite against a common enemy.
• Secondly, thanks to equal status in all aspects (education, income, rights), which will not only apply on paper.
• And finally, and most obviously, we must be aware of our own feelings and try not to dismiss the feelings of others. When you are overcome by strong emotions, it is better to simply step aside, take a deep breath and try to get rid of your prejudices.

Hatred is one of the most powerful human feelings; it can destroy not only the object at which it is directed, but also burn from within the person himself. We are all familiar with negative emotions caused by anger and resentment, which is why we think about how to get rid of hatred. Falling into its power, and acting under the influence of feelings raging in the soul, people are capable of destroying their lives.

What to do in such a situation, how to break out of the vicious circle, get rid of anger and soul-searching, how to forgive and continue to live? Many people come to psychologists with such questions, exhausted by the constant struggle they have to wage with themselves. In the article we will talk about how to get rid of hatred, regain peace of mind and your old life.

In order to get rid of hatred, you need to understand what kind of feeling it is and where it came from. So, the feeling of hatred reflects disgust, hostility towards an object or its rejection. Often the cause of hatred is the smallest and most insignificant events that are inspired from the outside.

We can conclude that people feel the need for hatred and hostility. Initially, the mechanism of manifestation of anger is associated with the need to free oneself from aggression, throw out one’s feelings and heal.

Sometimes hatred exists as a separate psychological mechanism, from which a person can receive not only harm, but also benefit, depending on the ability to control his feelings and emotions.

Hatred leads to internal rebellion due to external circumstances that we cannot come to terms with, and if a person does not splash out the accumulated aggression, then it corrodes the personality from the inside and destroys the psyche. In fact, hatred is resentment, only in a more concentrated and harsh form.

In order to understand where hatred comes from, we need to figure out how we treat people, what kind of person we can respect or love? Many people should understand that no one owes us anything, so don’t expect too much from others and don’t demand more than you yourself are willing to give.

Often we begin to hate people who simply do not live up to our expectations. In this case, hatred is a reflection of our weakness and helplessness. Only strong and generous people can forgive.

In order to get rid of hatred, you need to cultivate tolerance in yourself, learn to respect the feelings of others, and not project your dissatisfaction onto them. Experts also associate the emergence of hatred with a feeling of guilt towards oneself, lack of fulfillment and the inability to solve problems on one’s own. Negativity accumulating in the soul for a long time, bursts out at one moment, and any little thing can provoke an explosion.

When hatred arises, look for the reason within yourself, tune in to a positive mood, and try to achieve harmony. There is no place for anger and hatred in the soul of a happy and self-satisfied person. Learn to forgive yourself and others, do not accumulate resentment, do not judge - people are not perfect, they often make mistakes and cause pain.

See also Self-dislike and self-rejection are the cause of suffering for many people. Self-dislike creates insecurity own strength and opportunities, uncertainty about attractiveness and the fact that a person can be in demand, interesting and needed by other people.

Accept them as they are - by forgiving them you get rid of the negativity that destroys your life. Spend more time with friends and family, travel and get positive emotions - this distracts you and helps you achieve harmony and tranquility.

Hatred often spills out with anger and resentment, this is how we get rid of negative emotions and anger, cleanse the soul and heal. By suppressing our aggressiveness, we push emotions and feelings inside, which leads to dissatisfaction, fatigue and illness. Psychology offers several ways to get rid of hatred that will not harm others and will help throw out negative emotions.

Allow yourself to be angry

Do not forbid feeling anger and resentment - these are the same natural feelings as joy or love. Take a pillow and pour out all your anger on it, hit it until you are exhausted and feel better.

You can also write a hate letter. Put all your anger and resentment into each letter, pressing hard on the pen to get rid of negative emotions, then burn it. Some people find it helpful when they lock themselves in a car or room and scream alone until they are exhausted.

Take a break

To cope with your feelings, take a deep breath and count to ten or take a walk in the park. Sometimes washing dishes or doing laundry helps. When you realize that you are about to lose your temper and say too much, mentally fill your mouth with water.

Don't let yourself be yelled at

Don’t keep the grudge to yourself, let the person know that you don’t like the way he talks or acts to you. Say openly, “I don’t like you yelling at me,” or “Don’t talk to me like that,” or “Don’t treat me like that, I don’t deserve it.”

There are situations when you cannot openly express your resentment, then simulate the situation through a mirror. Imagine in the mirror the person you hate and express everything you think, and after the anger passes, try to forgive him. Forgiveness frees you from hatred and aggression.

Get rid of internal blocks

A simple exercise will restore peace of mind. Calm down, don’t think about anything, relax your facial muscles and imagine how they become heavier and “flow” down. Now imagine that your lips begin to part in a smile, and soon you will feel that you are actually starting to smile and experience joy.

Usually, in order to solve a problem, you need to realize it, so first, analyze the situation, figure out what really happened and whether you are demanding more from others than they are willing to give.