39. Take Time to Plan You know how I write a play? I start by formalizing the idea. This is called a synopsis. Then I write an episode plan, then I describe the plot in dialogues, then I do several edits, clarifying the authenticity of the events, the speech of the characters... You know how I

Your spouse. Your children. Your parents. Your job. Have you ever noticed that you don't have time for yourself? What if you had a “golden hour” – just one hour – once a day or even once a week that you had just for yourself?

Why do you need this

With all their commitments, many women take the time to take time for themselves. Women are taught that their greatest privilege should be to take care of others before they take care of themselves. They don't allow themselves to be number one. In general, many people think that if they are too busy, they cannot find time for themselves. And it is because you are so busy that you need the golden hour. It is one of the easiest ways to take care of yourself.

Find time

Of course, as any busy woman knows, finding golden hour isn't always easy. You must be focused and determined to find special time for yourself. If you can't do this, then you need to look at your actions and priorities. Track everything you do for one week. As the week comes to an end, take a look at your schedule. During your analysis, you will discover some of your own activities that need to be eliminated, postponed, or delegated to someone else. Keep in mind that it is normal to share your workload, both at home and at work. You are not the only one who can do certain things.

And when you start making time for yourself, remember that you can do it gradually. If you can't find an hour every day, start with an hour every week or 10 minutes every day. You can enjoy it so much that you will finally find a way to devote more time to yourself.

Find a place

Your golden hour will not allow you to relax enough if you spend it surrounded by your children, a mountain of laundry and a briefcase, full of work. The most the best place for golden hour, it's somewhere you don't usually spend time. But while a change of location is important, leaving home isn't always necessary. At home, you can easily relax with a bubble bath or a large comfortable chair with your laptop in the company of your favorite music. If you cannot find peace and relaxation at home, it is better to go out. Visit a library or bookstore. Go for a walk. Find a bench in the park and read or write in your journal. The possibilities are endless.

Enjoy the moment

Now that you have the time and space, how should you spend your golden hour? Yes, as you wish! To take care of yourself, remember what you love to do on your own and make it a priority regardless of everything else. Sometimes there is great value in doing nothing. So feel free to sink into your chair, put your feet up and dream.

Don't blame yourself

Guilt. This seems to go hand in hand with being a woman, especially when it comes to making time for yourself. After all, if a woman does something for herself, that implies she is not doing something for her spouse, her children, or her boss, right? Wrong. Self-care should never create guilt. Guilt is simply a waste of precious time that could be spent restoring yourself and loving others. By taking care of yourself, you will teach your family how to do the same for themselves. You and they will benefit from having a balanced life that includes play, work, school, family time, quiet time, and time to give to others.

Reap the benefits

Once you start taking care of yourself, you will wonder how you lived without the golden hour. This time is important for your balance, you are able to let go of frustrations and be only yourself, and not a mother, wife or businesswoman. This time will allow you to be that one. the best person, which is so important in your life. You will increase your overall wealth. When you look forward to your time, then your other activities seem more manageable.

For non-professionals. How to take time for yourself.

Preliminarily tell the client a few words that it is time for him to relax. If the client is overwhelmed by thoughts at this time, tell him to replace them with some relaxing memories. Like how he takes a soothing bath. And also tell your client that he must take care of himself, take care of himself, that is, “number one.” Also tell them that other people do the same for themselves. What should they be responsible for? own health and well-being before others, because only then will they be able to help others.

How to take time for yourself. Now is the time for you. This time is just for you.

And although I can't promise that all practical issues will be resolved by the end of this session, but you will feel that they have come to you peace and tranquility, they will give you the opportunity let go and step away from those problems and stresses that used to cause you discomfort and even negatively affect your health.

Now dive deeper each time I call out another number, and follow the prompts that will help you relax, 5, deeper, sliding or swimming, past stress and grief, 4, leaving pain and ailment behind, now sliding even deeper, 3, By choosing to ignore those around you who demand your attention, you sink even deeper, 2. deeper and deeper now inside yourself, where only yours is own wish peace, relaxation and comfort. 1, freeing yourself from all fears and anxieties until only your deepest self remains; 0 - now very deep, you nothing torments you, problems go away, only yours remains deep "I" not preoccupied with anything, free, inspired.

I wonder where your vibrant and developed creative imagination will take you swim now Wherever you are most relaxed, you have a lot of time at your disposal and no one demands anything from you.

This is your time, a time for you to be comfortable, completely relaxed. If anyone even dares to encroach on your time and space, you can tell them "get away." Tell them this with the firmness that you would not usually show out of politeness. And when they leave and you quickly relieve yourself of this tension, recall relaxing episodes and memories. This could be a time when you were basking in the sun or even when you were at home, alone, you were comfortable alone, knowing that this time and this space belongs only to you, you can spend it on making a foot bath (or taking to tidy up your nails) or lie on the couch and watch TV.

No matter where you imagine yourself, do something nice for yourself. From now on, find time and space for yourself. Let yourself feel guilty or worried about others. In such moments, take care only of yourself, and here are the reasons why you will find yourself doing this now more and more often and long after this session is over.

Only you can take responsibility for your own health and well-being. To reach good health and well-being, You need to have space and time for yourself. Space and time, and also self-love to be calm and relaxed.

Only when you achieve a positive and calm, relaxed state of mind will you be able to bring maximum benefit to others. Therefore, there is simply no reason to worry about why others are putting pressure on you, doing something, until you have reached the point where you are calm and relaxed, to deal with their problems. Do the best for yourself, and then you can bring maximum benefit to other people. But I don't want you to spend too much time thinking about them. This is your free day, this is your time to rest from them.

Take care of yourself. Behind number one. Relax and go deeper, a hundred times deeper, a hundred times better, a hundred times more relaxed and content.

And when you realize that everyone around you is also taking care of themselves, putting their well-being first, it will become even easier for you take time for yourself. You fill yourself with a growing sense of peace and balance and can let go of things that are beyond your control and you really don't want to worry about. If and when you decide to share your space and time with others, you will be in the best frame of mind to do so. you will be yourself feel better, lighter, calmer and happier.

In our age of technological development, the issue of lack of time is becoming more and more acute. Our priorities have changed over time, because if you think about how our great-grandmothers lived, it becomes a little creepy. In their time there were no washing or dishwashers, no diapers, no multicookers, no other useful and very “time-free” things. And at the same time they managed to do everything: take care of the house, take care of the family, do handicrafts and spend time for themselves, their beloved. Yes, in our age, many people’s priorities have changed, additional interests have appeared, and women have taken on many other problems and concerns on their shoulders. As a result, the question of how to find time for yourself, your loved one, becomes very relevant.

Who among us has not encountered such a phenomenon as a lack of energy and time? I want to do so many things, learn so many things, figure out so many things... But in reality it turns out that so much effort has been put in, but nothing has really been done, but I no longer have the strength or desire to do anything, and it’s too late, it’s high time go to sleep. The woman feels tired, irritable, and her mood deteriorates, which is transmitted to the whole family. What mood a woman has, so will the whole family. A tortured woman is a woman with incorrect priorities, with an incorrect daily routine and who does not receive (does not want to receive) help from loved ones.

The principle of many women - “first I will do this and that, and then, if there is time, I will take care of myself” - is fundamentally wrong. After all, a woman who does not receive inner satisfaction will have nowhere to get inspiration to get things done.

How to make time for yourself -

what should be done?

Of course, there is no ideal solution to this issue that suits everyone, because everyone has their own life, their own problems, opportunities and obligations. Let's collect all the possible effective secrets of saving time, and choose which ones are right for you, the main thing is to look at your problems from the outside and act according to a strictly planned plan.

• Take a sheet of paper and divide it into two parts. In the first, list the actions on which you spend energy, in the second, the actions through which you draw energy. Naturally, there will be significantly more points in the first column. Carefully study the list and remove unnecessary ones or delegate tasks from the first column and add additional items to the second. And the most important thing, follow the indicated points. In the column where you get your energy, there should be items such as your desired daily routine, useful procedures for soul and body, communication with friends and perhaps even a glass of red wine once a week.
• Make it a rule don't get discouraged and don't waste your time . Spend your time moving and being as productive as possible so that you can make time for yourself in the evening. By allowing yourself to be lazy and put off important things until later, you run the risk of getting used to such a routine and accumulating a huge cart of unresolved issues.
• Find someone who will inspire you by personal example, practical advice, approval and, of course, constructive criticism. After all, this is what does not allow us to relax, allows us to develop, and not degrade and waste away.
• Don't let backlogs pile up like a snowball. It’s better to pay little attention to important matters every day - your mood will improve and things will get done in a timely manner. And to clear out the accumulated cases, you will need to expend completely different forces and nerves.
• Feel free to delegate household responsibilities to your loved ones. Do you really think that you are the only one who can wash the dishes in the house? If you don’t have free time or you just like it when your family helps you, don’t be shy, ask them for help, don’t wait until they figure it out themselves, believe me, if they haven’t figured it out yet, they won’t guess it. A woman who allows herself to help feels the support of loved ones and receives an additional supply of energy.
• Love what you do , your daily worries. It is very important to get satisfaction from everyday worries. Even if you have to finish work unfinished in the office at home, find a way to set yourself in the right mood. Place a candle and a glass of red wine next to your computer, place your bare feet in a basin of sea sand under the table, or give yourself some other amenity to make work a pleasure, or at least not so disgusting.
• Try to combine things whenever possible . For example, before preparing dinner, take a couple of minutes to make and apply a homemade mask to your face, and then, during a break or after finishing cooking, wash it off. As a result, you have delicious, fresh food and a refreshed, prettier appearance. Or, if you are stuck in a traffic jam, call people with whom you have not communicated for a long time, but really want to, but you don’t have time for this. So here it is! Has your baby fallen asleep? Don't waste precious minutes, take care of yourself and other important things.
• Spend lunch break to myself , go to a hairdresser or beauty salon. This will lift your mood and increase your productivity.
• Pump yourself up with audiobooks on your favorite topics, trainings and other courses and listen to them while commuting to and from work, walking with a stroller, cooking, gardening, etc. If your brain is “overloaded” and cannot perceive information, but you want to unwind, play a light genre or relaxing music.
• Limit the duration of “time sinks” , which include TV and computer.
• Love yourself , learn to say to your dear family “I love you very much, but please, at these hours of such and such days, please free me from such and such matters and responsibilities.”
• And most importantly - no remorse about the fact that you spent your free time on yourself, your beloved. That your husband, who is also tired, is sitting with the children at home, that you do not spend all your free time with your children, that the house has not been properly cleaned for a week. By depriving yourself of the pleasures of life and relaxation, you are depriving your family of this. After all, a wife and mother simply must be healthy, cheerful and optimistic about life. Even when spending time on yourself, you can take two roads: the first is to waste your nerves and energy on worries, the second is to abstract yourself and recharge with positive energy for your own pleasure. You have earned the right to take care of yourself a little, because the husband does not need a wife who is fading before his eyes and has given up on herself, and the children do not need a nervous mother who breaks down at them over trifles.

Every hour freed up as a result of these actions, you can spend on yourself, your loved one - having relaxing spa treatments, doing what you love, writing a book, mastering a new profession, learning to play musical instrument and so on.