Evgeny Levin. Homosexuality and Orthodox Judaism

The global gender revolution and its consequences
Date of: 04/03/2016
Subject: Ethics

M.M.Bogoslovsky, Doctor of Biological Sciences, Prof. Nevsky Institute of Management and Design, St. Petersburg

The problem of gender relations was, is and will always be the most important problem of the human community. It is equally relevant for both men and women. For hundreds of thousands of years, starting from primitive society, the position of women remained practically unchanged - dependent on men. This is evidenced by the oldest documents that have survived to this day. For example, according to the laws of the Babylonian king Hammurabi (XVIII century BC), a woman had no rights in all respects and was essentially a slave of her husband.

However, this dependence on men throughout almost the entire history of human society did not cause protests among most women; they considered it in the order of things, and only in the 19th and early 20th centuries, when they increasingly became financially independent, did they begin to talk about inequality among women and the desire to obtain male rights.

Biological basis of gender differences as a starting pointcause of inequality

The reason for the gender inequality enshrined in monotheistic religions lies not only in the ancient history of human society, but also in human biology. With the emergence of the human race, a division of labor and responsibilities appeared, which from the very beginning had a gendered nature - women's work and lifestyle were significantly different from men's. In some societies, men and women even spoke different languages.

These differences were based on the different biological purposes of men and women: the male sex must create new forms of adaptation to changing living conditions (including at the cost of one’s life, sacrificing oneself for the good of the clan and tribe) and pass them on to new generations, and the female - select, accumulate and carefully preserve the acquisitions obtained by the male sex, give birth and feed children until they become independent.

A new useful trait in phylogeny appears first in the male sex and only then, after many generations, is fixed in the female. He is a pioneer, a bearer of the new, progressive, she only preserves everything useful that a man has found and experienced, often at the cost of her own life. The biological conservative role of a woman affects not only the preservation of genetic material. It affects everything - in customs and rituals, in outlook on life and even in clothing.

The survival of the human race and its spread across our planet, as a result of which people were able to form the noosphere (Vernadsky), was facilitated by an important biological property acquired during the evolution of hominids - sexual dimorphism, which represents a number of anatomical, physiological and biochemical characteristics of the body inherent in each sex. An important property of sexual dimorphism in our ancestors was that males had greater weight and body size, greater muscle mass, and, consequently, physical strength than women. In the process of evolution, Nature did not follow the path of equal interest in the reproduction of both sexes. She entrusted the main concern for the continuation of the species to the ancestral men, guaranteeing them high degree satisfaction from sexual intercourse. As a result, no matter how sexual intercourse goes, orgasm is always guaranteed. Precisely to facilitate the solution of the problem of procreation Nature (and believers of monotheistic religions may believe that the all-wise God did this) has taken the path of providing men (as well as male representatives of many other animal species) with greater physical strength than women.

Having greater body mass and strength, the ancestral man could continue the race without asking the consent of the ancestral woman - he simply took her by force. The advantage of ancestral men in strength had another deep biological meaning. Using it, the ancestral man was able to fertilize a large number of ancestral women, ensuring not only the reproduction of the genus with a different set of genotypes, but also making it possible to constantly update the DNA of the embryos of different ancestral women, which contributed to better preservation of the species and its adaptation to changing environmental conditions. It should be noted that the described type of sexual dimorphism has survived to this day. And today the average height of men and their body weight are greater than those of women.

At the same time with specified type sexual dimorphism, important physiological changes occurred in ancestral women. In the vast majority of animal species, the female reproductive system is activated once a year, for a short mating season, and the rest of the time it is inactive. In female primates, like in all mammals, the mammary glands are reduced after ovulation, but in women this reversibility was lost, as a result of which mammary glands are constantly in an increased state, which signals constant readiness for mating, even during pregnancy and breastfeeding! The biological meaning of this hypersexuality of a woman is to be always ready to mate, and therefore to satisfy a man and give birth to children. However, this pairing does not serve the purpose of pleasure, but has a purely pragmatic basis - With the help of such “incentive” mating, she provides food for herself and her child (children). After all, she alone cannot feed and raise increasingly smarter children who require a lot of time for socialization.

All these biological and physiological characteristics of the ancestors determined the personal and social dependence of women on men. From the above it follows that this dependence did not arise at the whim of men, not out of their desire to humiliate a woman, as feminists believe, but appeared in the process of evolution as an adaptive, adaptive phenomenon, determined by the genetic program for the preservation of ancestral people as a species and its distribution throughout our country. planet.

Biological and physiological changes in the body of men and women caused by sexual dimorphism also entailed the development of special psychological properties of men and women . Women, as a result of adapting to their position dependent on men, developed and consolidated compliance, humility, tolerance, gentleness, dreaminess, the ability to empathize, etc., i.e. what men have always liked, what poets and writers have always sung. On the contrary, in men such traits as authoritarianism, assertiveness, aggressiveness, harshness, intolerance, activity, prudence, efficiency, etc. were developed and consolidated.

Changing economic status of women as a reason for their struggle for equality with men

Naturally, wealth and power in primitive society, and later under feudalism, belonged to men. The change in the position of women in European countries began not with their struggle for their rights, as is commonly thought, but with changes in economic conditions, which opened up the opportunity to begin this struggle. The most developed part of human society entered the era of capitalism, during which women began to be separated from peasant communities and their mass involvement in industrial work and city life.

Women began to gain financial and economic independence, as a result of which the initial dependence of women on men began to weaken. Thus, a mine was laid, which a hundred years later blew up society, destroyed the traditional way of life of women and men, introducing into it new elements that were not characteristic of it, and began to threaten the existence of the fundamental unit of society - the family. As a result, for the first time in the history of human society, world revolution, the peculiarity of which is that it is carried out by women and only in the interests of women, which led to the destruction of the main unit of society - the family.

Another feature of this revolution is that it involves the largest mass of people who have ever been involved in a revolutionary movement. Final goal This revolution is the destruction of male privileges, and at the same time social differences between the sexes as such. It is interesting that the destruction of male privileges and the proclaimed equality of the sexes does not include the abolition of female privileges, which feminists do not even mention.

In accordance with the Marxist position, according to which being determines consciousness, changes in economic and social status women gave birth to the seditious idea in the heads of deviant women that there are no differences between them and men. Many feminist works deny any differences between the sexes and demand absolute equality and complete symmetry in relations between the sexes. Some individuals with pronounced leadership traits began to demand equal rights (but not responsibilities!) with men and even began to incite women to participate in public performances - rallies, demonstrations, etc. A continuation of this idea was first the desire, and then the demand, to give women everything that men have. In many ways, they were helped by short-sighted men who did not think about the consequences that the emancipation of the weaker sex would lead to.

First of all, they opposed what was the original and traditional occupation of women, against what they appeared on Earth for - against the birth and raising of children and housekeeping. Another arena of feminism’s struggle with men has become the family itself. In essence, feminism, by insisting that a woman is her own family and, if she wants, can give birth and raise a child without a man, proclaims the death of the family. Following these ideas, an increasing number of women decide to have a child outside of marriage and raise him alone. Counting on the help of the state, which will force the fathers of these children to pay for their maintenance, and at the same time their mother. Naturally, the number of children is limited to one, rarely two. And there are more and more such women. The most radical ones argue that marriage is a trap set by men to exploit women.

Although this struggle for men's rights began only recently, women have made impressive progress in it. In recent years, women have not only served in the army and navy, but are already ministers of defense - women head the armed forces of France, Finland, Latvia, the Czech Republic, Spain, Ecuador and Japan. More and more women are serving in the ranks today Russian army- it is prestigious and profitable. At the same time, despite the constant accusations against men of violating their equality, in this case they do not at all strive for complete equality - for example, they do not want to serve in the army as a duty - upon conscription in the same way as men serve, they do not want equalization of the age of entry into pension.

There are almost no occupations left that women do not engage in now. Women call the care of men who protect women from heavy physical exertion, which has a detrimental effect on the female body, discrimination. The most persistent ones neglect all the norms of physical activity for women, just to be like men, not inferior to them in anything.

Today, women in developed countries have become economically and financially independent. When asked whether they would remain at work if they had independence from it and a sufficient source of material support, 66% of women answered in the affirmative.

Preservation of traditional behavior of women

Despite the declared desire for equality with men, women do not at all want to give up the ancient method of influencing men - by attracting their attention by decorating the body and clothing, which is a means forced, adaptive. And as soon as such an opportunity is given, they try their best to emphasize their primary and secondary sexual characteristics. They don’t need equality with men here. This is too successful an acquisition and too strong a weapon in the struggle for the man they have chosen, for a place in the sun, to give it up so easily. And the laws of biology and evolution indicate that once acquired does not disappear on its own, but only out of necessity. Unfortunately, their sense of proportion often betrays them, so some elderly and even old women continue to put on makeup and adorn themselves as if they were still 18-20 years old.

Today, one of the most important means of attracting men is to expose the body and, especially, those places that women have hidden from men throughout the history of human society. Provoking men, they bare their breasts, expose their lower abdomen and buttocks. Instead of dresses and blouses today they wear underwear or men's tank tops. They are exposed even more on the beach: many go without bras and almost without panties. In addition to nudity, many young women wear clothes that fit so tightly to the body that it emphasizes all its features - all the convexities and concavities - thin trousers that tightly fit the buttocks, and the most “advanced” people sew trousers for themselves in which each buttock is covered separately , and the structural features of the small pelvis are drawn in front. The next step in this direction is to use paint on the body instead of clothing, which should symbolize clothing. This was started by the famous tennis player Caroline Wozniacki, who at a photo shoot in January 2016 starred in a swimsuit painted on her body.

Such mass exposure of women is very close to a mental illness called exhibitionism - flaunting one's naked body or genitals. These women don't understand that their naked body is perceived by men in a completely different way than women perceive the naked male body. Despite all the equality of women and men, their biology has not changed and cannot change.

The unconscious basis of all these actions is one - become attractive, get a man to like you , and, therefore, find a good groom or lover, at whose expense you can live, marry successfully (to a wealthy man), get Good work(or good education). The opinion of many American and European women was frankly expressed by the famous American (USA) actress Cameron Diaz. During a visit to Moscow in June 2011, she made a confession: “Getting silicone breasts means finding a good groom. It's an investment in yourself." Following this advice, more than 8 million women in the world have already undergone surgery to increase their breast size.

It is no secret that women of a certain type of occupation actively use their naked erotic appearance to sell their services. With the return of capitalism to our country, the number of young women seeking to build their lives at the expense of men has sharply increased. If under socialism moral standards condemned such behavior, today young women do not see any sin in this. For example, Yulia Vysotskaya (wife of Andron Konchalovsky) in the program “Big Difference” stated: “...career through bed? Nothing terrible!” (AiF 35/07).

Oddly enough, one expression of the gender revolution is the rise of prostitution. How popular the profession of prostitute is among the “fair sex” is evidenced by the data provided by AiF (No. 1-2, 2006): currently there are approximately 40 million prostitutes in the world. This means that every 25th woman of childbearing age is involved in this business. And according to the REGNUM portal, in Ukraine every fourth student dreams of becoming a prostitute.

A characteristic feature of the gender revolution is the desire to erase all boundaries of male and female and create one gender - “unisex”. Moreover, if feminists strive for feminine unisex, then most women strive for masculine unisex. In general, this leads to the desire to adopt from men everything that seems most attractive, profitable, “cool” to them and make it their own: clothes, shoes, names, occupations, professions, positions, habits, customs and even language.

First of all, they wanted to get what they considered the main symbol of men and men's life - trousers. At the beginning of the 20th century in London, feminists put on trousers and demonstrated, smashing shop windows and offices and demanding voting rights. From that moment on, women wearing trousers became a symbol of the struggle for equality with men under the slogan: “We want to be like you!” Later, they began to adopt other elements of clothing from men - jackets, jackets, raincoats, shirts, T-shirts, T-shirts, headwear - hats and caps, shoes, umbrellas. As a result, women's clothing changed dramatically and headed towards female androgyny or "unisex" male style.

Refusal of female self-identity

In our country, over the last 15-20 years, women have increasingly begun to refuse self-identification, identifying themselves with men by default! At first, they began to replace the female version of the names of professions and specialties with the male version, even when it officially exists. Thus, belittling their feminine dignity, they began to refuse to be teachers, educators, writers, poetesses, correspondents, artists, saleswomen, pilots, tractor drivers, etc. Apparently, believing that masculine names sounded more respectable, they wanted to be called prestigiously in a masculine way as teachers, educators, writers, poets, correspondents, artists, sellers, pilots, and tractor drivers. Officials, mostly female officials, willingly helped them in this, fixing male versions of their names in the lists of professions and positions.

An analysis of the list of positions and professions of the All-Russian Classifier of Worker Professions, Clerk Positions and Tariff Grades (1996) showed that through the efforts of feminists who strive to engage not so much in women’s but in men’s affairs and positions, the vast majority of professions and positions now have a masculine sound. So, if earlier there were installers and installers, now there are only installers, and there are no more installers. Today there are no more cleaners, cooks, as well as saleswomen, receptionists, conductors, spinners, and teachers! By the will of the compilers of this List, weavers also disappeared, giving way to weavers, as well as milkmaids. Today the position of a milkmaid is called a milkmaid! Only a few female professions have survived - pedicurist, nurse, typist, nanny, manicurist, midwife, as well as a couple of other positions and professions.

Continuing the policy of erasing the boundaries of feminine and masculine, women moved to the next stage of merging feminine and masculine - the rejection of female self-expression in speech. So, instead of “participate tsa” wars, events, they say “participate To …", instead of "blockade tsa", they say "blockade IR", instead of "bow itza” the talent of some artist, they now say “bow IR", instead of "witness tsa"they prefer to say "witness l", instead of "optimist ka" - "optimize st", instead of "third party tsa" - "third party IR" etc. If this continues, the feminine gender, and with it the feminine endings of words, will disappear from the Russian language. There will only be one unisex male type left!

The desire to erase the boundaries of feminine and masculine extended to art. For a long time (since the 30s of the twentieth century) women have been willingly performing men's songs and even arias that were written for men. Nezhdanova, for example, sang a male romance to the words of A.S. Pushkin “I loved you...”, and Tamara Gverdtsiteli sings a song whose words should only be uttered by a man (“... I will throw myself at her feet... ” - “My joy lives on...”). L. Ruslanova and K. Shulzhenko also sinned with this.

Wanting in everything to be like those whom they terribly envy, they increasingly cross the line of reason, bringing their demands on men to the point of absurdity and absurdity. Thus, Spanish feminists recently demanded that men stop wearing mustaches and beards. Feminists from Holland insisted that the image of a lion - a symbol of the armed forces of this country - should not have a male gender characteristic (i.e., that the symbol of male strength and power - the lion should be castrated!). And Belgian feminists considered it an infringement of women’s rights in the fact that there is a sculpture of a “pissing boy”, but not a “pissing girl” (forgetting that there is a difference in female and male morality, in female and male perception of the world!). As a result, the Brussels authorities had to give permission to install this sculpture too! But the Dutch feminists went the furthest in their desire to be no different from men, who began to use a special device during the act of urination that allows them to urinate while standing - a hybrid of a plastic funnel and tray.

Fighting in the ring, lifting and moving huge weights in powerlifting competitions, practicing various types of wrestling, playing football, and ski jumping are contraindicated for the female body; doing them leads to overload and injury. Pumping up muscles also requires a different hormonal level, which gradually turns a woman into a half-man, a kind of hermaphrodite and makes changes in the course of a number of important biochemical and physiological processes.

This is expressed in a change in their hormonal status: in their adrenal glands, the synthesis of the glucocorticoid cortisone is blocked and the synthesis of androgens is increased. As a result, the normal ratio of female and male sex hormones (estrogens and androgens) changes in favor of male hormones - androgens. In turn, these hormonal changes lead to disturbances in the reproductive system (reduction in the size of the uterus and mammary glands, a delay of the first menstruation by 2-4 years, toxicosis of pregnancy, difficulties in childbirth, etc.). They have an increase in height and muscle mass, a predominance of fast muscle fibers in skeletal muscles, a decrease in the fat component in the body composition, an increase in bone mass and calcium content in the bones, and the body structure is formed according to the male type. The content of red blood cells in the blood system increases, the size of the heart and the vital capacity of the lungs increase. Even the skin patterns on the fingers and hair growth in such women are formed according to the male type.

Women who strive to be like men in everything do not know and do not want to know that following a change in occupation they will inevitably experience changes in psychological characteristics. Changes in their brain activity are accompanied by the appearance of masculine behavioral traits (increased aggressiveness, boyish behavior - tomboyism). According to American authors, female student athletes strive for independence, dominance, and often show aggressiveness. According to data obtained in recent years by Russian and foreign scientists, the masculine type manifests itself in female athletes much more often than in the normal population - from 44% in swimmers, to 98% in swimmers. artistic gymnasts(on average 75% of female athletes). There is no doubt that women engaged in male professions (military personnel participating in combat operations, leaders of cities and countries, bosses of various ranks) also experience changes in behavior and psychological characteristics according to the male type.

Women who professionally engage in male activities, in particular male sports, experience violations of gender role behavior, i.e. a special set of requirements and expectations imposed by society on a male or female individual. So, female athletes who do this purely masculine looking sports, such as wrestling, have higher rates of masculinity than swimmers and “artist” gymnasts. The fact that these disorders are inherited is also alarming. When interviewing the mothers of these athletes, it was revealed that a third of them considered themselves the main ones in the family. In addition, some of them were engaged in purely male professions (they were firemen on an oil rig, peat mining supervisors, shop supervisors). Moreover, this was recorded 1.4 times more often among mothers of athletes in the martial arts group than in sports games. The general trend shows the undoubted focus of modern women's sports on getting rid of feminine characteristics. And this, of course, is alarming.

All over the world the so-called The emancipation of women is increasingly taking on ugly forms. Winning men's rights, intoxicated by success, women increasingly strive to be like their idols - men, to lead their lifestyle, adopting their far from best habits. In addition to wearing men's clothing, this includes a cheeky demeanor, deliberate harshness, aggressiveness, the desire to command, always insist on one's own, smoking, drinking alcohol and drugs.

As a consequence of the gender revolution in all developed countries, the growth rate of traditional “male” vices among women is spreading faster than among men, approximately three times. It turned out that average age the onset of smoking in women for all Russian cities is 25.5 years. The earliest age for women to start smoking is 9.8 years, and the latest is 61 years. In St. Petersburg, for example, according to official data, every third woman today smokes, according to unofficial data - more than 70% of girls and young women! A typical sight on the street is a young woman with a baby stroller and a cigarette or bottle of beer in her hand.

TV screens now show Western films (mostly made in the USA), in which young girls and women, wearing makeup and naked (i.e., still trying to attract the attention of men), show aggression towards men, attacking them, beating them and even win (!), although the latter do not look like wimps at all. Films such as the series “Alias” or “Charlie’s Angeles” are intended for adult audiences, and “Xena: Warrior Princess” is intended for children. What can such films teach girls and women? That they are no weaker than men, that they can compete with them and even win? But this is not true: in reality, she is weaker, and in life, even a trained woman will never defeat several trained men.

The appearance of such films once again demonstrates the challenge to men and the declaration of war on them with the aim of redividing the world. It is not surprising that these films were made in the USA, where first blacks, and now women, felt themselves to be the masters of life. What unites them is that both have been in an unequal position compared to other people for a long time. Having received equal rights, they cannot stop and now they themselves violate the rights of others: blacks - the rights of whites, and women - the rights of men.

The continued desire to become like men in everything and the rejection of traditional femininity has led to a disregard for female morality, an increase in female violence and a surge in female crime.

Experts are alarmingly predicting that the proportion of girls in teenage crimes will increase from year to year. In the United States, from 1967 to 1997, female crime increased for almost all types of crimes. Moreover, for such as the sale and use of drugs - by 132 percent, driving while intoxicated - by 211 percent! And the problem of sexual harassment of men by women has become so widespread that psychologists have become interested in it.

The negative trends in female crime are of great concern to the public and law enforcement agencies:

· in most respects it becomes more similar to a man’s;
· growth of serious crimes in the structure of female crime (for example, the share of detected serious crimes in 1994 was 26.4%, and already in 1995 - 39.7%);
· increased professionalism and organization of female crime (several organized criminal groups led by women have been identified);
· an increase in the number of murders of older teenage children (the murder of a daughter out of jealousy towards her partner, the murder of one’s own children who turned out to be a hindrance);
· increased complicity in rape (motivated by revenge, jealousy, envy);
· increased involvement of women in committing crimes related to illicit trafficking in narcotic drugs and psychotropic substances.

Women are becoming more and more violent. A columnist for the American newspaper Christian Science Monitor (CSM) comes to this sad conclusion. The publication cites FBI statistics, according to which the number of arrested girls among all young people arrested by the FBI increased in 2004 to 30% from 23% in 1993.

The harmful consequences of the gender revolution

And now about the main consequences of neglecting the biological laws of Nature, in particular one of the laws of ecology formulated by B. Commoner - “Nature knows best”, the desire to correct the nature of the relationship between a man and a woman. First of all, by likening themselves to men, women are now engaged in their education, career, entertainment, but not in having children or having a family. According to a study by the Committee on Science and Higher Education (March 2010), girls are more likely than boys to consider work a value. This suggests that it is no longer love and family that come first, but work! Modern women have ceased to consider motherhood as their main function.

According to research conducted on the basis of St. Petersburg law institute Prosecutor General's Office of the Russian Federation in 2007 (St. Petersburg Ved., May 10, 2007), 30% of girls 16-17 years old initially exclude the participation of men in creating a family, they are not focused on legal marriages, but do not exclude the birth of one or two children. A survey recently conducted in England among the female population aged 15-45 revealed that today they do not really need a life partner!

Today, a woman has received all the rights of men, she drives a tractor and a car, flies into space, has the opportunity to receive any education and occupy leadership positions. However, this victory has a bitter aftertaste for her. She brought a new suffering called loneliness. Independence from a man, obligations towards children and household chores has created an area of ​​emptiness in the female soul that neither career success nor financial independence can fill. Freedom from the family has set the woman apart, depriving her of the support of this very family, which, as it turned out, the woman is in great need. According to Petrostat, today a third of children in St. Petersburg are born out of wedlock, and the number of divorces has increased by 8% in recent years. There are more and more women who are unwilling and unable to keep their family together. According to a study conducted by the French women's magazine Elle (“She”), in the countries of the European Commonwealth, divorces in 75% of cases are initiated by the female party. The same thing is happening in our country.

Depopulation is closely related to family problems. According to Rosstat, every year the population of Russia decreases by an average of 700 thousand people. There are over 40 million families in the country today, of which more than 1/3 have one child. The share of large families is decreasing rapidly, they are about 2%, and for simple population replacement it is necessary that there be at least 15% of families with three children. The demographic situation is further aggravated by the fact that over 10 years the birth rate among women in the most favorable childbearing age has decreased by more than 20%, while 24% of women of this age - almost one in four - do not want to have children at all. Economic independence, as well as state assistance, allows today a woman to raise a child alone, and therefore now she does not hesitate to break the marriage ties if something does not suit her in her husband or in her relationship with her mother-in-law, which primarily affects the children. There are more and more families of small children, consisting of a mother and her child, and the number of “cuckoo mothers” is increasing.

The situation of children in single-parent families (consisting of only a mother and a child or two or three children) is unenviable. While busy making money and their careers, women do not raise children, do not give them love and affection, as a result of which a homeless and embittered child falls under the influence of asocial elements, takes up alcohol, smoking, drugs, and takes the path of crime. To top it off, such children do not develop the mindset to create a full-fledged family. Children in disadvantaged families consisting of one mother and child suffer from social and housing insecurity, non-compliance with hygienic living standards, and failure to see doctors in case of illness. Data from an eight-year study by the Stockholm Center for Epidemiology, which included 65,000 children from single-parent families, showed that such children are less likely to live a long life. For example, the number of suicides, deaths due to overdoses of alcohol or drugs, and the likelihood of dying as a result of acts of violence are 4-5 times higher among those who grew up in a single-parent family. Children from single-parent families are more likely to be stressed and are less able to control their actions than their peers. The following fact also indicates less protection for children from single-parent families. Of the 52,000 cases of child sexual abuse in the United States, 72% involved children living without a parent or no parent at all.

As data obtained at different times by domestic and Western specialists have shown, children (and, subsequently, adults) who grew up in single-parent families are more likely to experience nervous and mental disorders than children from intact families. Children from single-parent families often experience a whole range of difficulties of a psychological nature. According to I.S. Kon, children who grew up without a father often have a lower level of aspirations, they have a higher level of anxiety, neurotic symptoms are more common, boys have difficulty communicating with peers, they learn true masculine roles worse, but they exaggerate some masculine traits: rudeness, pugnacity. Often the child begins to rebel against extreme dependence on the mother, or grows up passive, lethargic, physically weak, and if the mother drinks and smokes, then sick.

While busy with their careers, women are increasingly postponing the birth of a child and the fulfillment of their natural mission to an increasingly later date. Meanwhile, late birth is the most common cause of child development pathology. The health of children born to “old” mothers (30-40 years old) is significantly worse than that of those born to young women. They are more likely to suffer from serious illnesses that significantly shorten their lives. The number of children with Down's disease and autism is growing - a severe anomaly of a child's mental development, characterized mainly by impaired contact with others, emotional coldness, perversion of interests, and stereotyped activities.

The downside of abandoning the natural destiny of women to give birth and raise children is the sharp aging of the population, which has become an almost worldwide trend. Currently in Russia there are only 1.3 children per woman! Added to this is the huge number of abortions: in recent years, women in our country undergo from 4 to 6 million abortions annually! According to the Commissioner for Human Rights in the Russian Federation, Vladimir Lukin, the current demographic situation in Russia is comparable to that which developed after the Civil and Great Patriotic Wars. Patriotic Wars. According to experts, the reduction in the economically active population of our country in the next 15-20 years will lead to serious restrictions on Russia’s economic growth and the loss of its economic independence.

The women's revolution is systematically and harshly implementing the renunciation of children proclaimed by feminists. Today, women not only do not want to give birth to children, but even if they do, they increasingly abandon them! In 2009, about 10 thousand women in Russia abandoned their children by escaping from the maternity hospital. And more and more often fathers are now taking care of children. According to various departments of the Russian Federation (Federation Council, Ministry of Internal Affairs, Prosecutor General's Office, Ministry of Labor and Social Development, Ministry of Education and Independent experts) in Russia in 2009 there were from 368 thousand to 4 million street children! According to official data, today in Russia about 700 thousand children do not have parental care. The country's child population decreases by 1 million every year, and the number of children in orphanages in Russia grows by 4-6 thousand per year.

The ever-increasing desire to imitate the male lifestyle (“men don’t give birth, and why are we worse?”) has given rise to women in the United States and Western Europe a new movement - childfree - voluntary childlessness, absence of children and conscious reluctance to ever have them. Moreover, many childfree people regret and even resent the fact that they are forced to finance public schools through uniform taxation for all. To ideologically reinforce their unpopular position, supporters of this movement resorted to religion. They refer to Jesus Christ, who, according to the Gospels, had no children. And to make the religious justification more significant, they even founded a new Church - the Cyber ​​Church of Jesus Christ. Although there is no such organized movement in Russia yet, supporters of its ideology already exist, for example, Ksenia Sobchak.

Conclusion

The financial and economic independence acquired with the help of men brought women freedom, which, as it turned out, hit hard throughout human society. This happened due to the fact that the social, i.e. the acquired freedom came into conflict with the biological dependence of a woman on a man that existed throughout the history of the human race, a dependence that ensured the progress of Homo sapiens on Earth. Accumulating, these contradictions led to a social explosion - the great gender revolution. Population decline and the breakdown of traditional family relationships are the price and at the same time the other side of the coveted coin called social progress, including improving the quality of life and medical care, increasing cultural development and the level of education.

The gender revolution, which exploded Western society, leading to the destruction of the family and depopulation, threatens to spread to the countries of the East, Africa and South America. This natural process will occur as the well-being of their peoples grows. Blurring the boundaries of male and female leads to the destruction of gender self-identification. To preserve man as a species, a woman should not behave like a man, acquire masculine habits, engage in masculine professions and sports that are harmful to women, because everything is bad that in any way affects the body of a girl-girl-woman, Necessarily will have a bad effect on all her unborn children. After all when is born girl, in her body already there are eggs all the children she can bear in her entire life.

No matter how much today women strive to be like men and lead a male lifestyle, replacing their culture with a male one, their biological nature will remain unchanged - female chromosomes will not become male. Therefore, in the interests of the human race and human civilization, women and men must remain themselves. If women do not return to their families, to their children, then the end of the world will not be long in coming! At the new stage of the socio-economic development of the world community and, accordingly, gender relations, women and men will have to find their new place, which they must occupy with the dignity inherent in each of them. This should be a relationship between people who are equally beautiful and respect the characteristics of the opposite sex.

Sources. 1. Abramov V.V., Smirnova E.L., Nekhanevich O.B. Long-term disorders of reproductive function in women who have been intensely involved in sports. Second International Scientific Congress “Sport and Health”. St. Petersburg, 2005. - pp. 6-7. 2. Alekseev V.P. and Pershits A.I. “History of primitive society.” M., Higher School, 1990. - 351 p. 3. Antonyan Yu.M. Crime among women. M., 1992. - 124 p. 4. Badinger E. Social problems of the family. UNESCO Courier. - 1986. - April. - P.16. 5. A.A. Baranov, L.A. Shcheplyagina Children's health on the threshold of the 21st century: ways to solve the problem / Pediatrics. -2001. -T. 8, No. 18. - pp. 737-740.
6. Bulka A.P., Apchel V.Ya., Dankov E.A., Dergachev V.B. Psychophysiological features of women's professional suitability for training in the military educational institutions Ministry of Defense of the Russian Federation // Bulletin of the Russian Military Medical Academy. - 2010, No. 3. - P.175-177. 7. Vardiman E. Woman in the ancient world. Per. with him. M.: Nauka.-1990.- 335 p. 8. Garbuzov V.I. Features of psychotherapy in a family with an only child suffering from neurosis // Family psychotherapy for nervous and mental illnesses. L., 1978. 9. Geodakyan V. A. Evolutionary logic of sex differentiation // Nature. 1983. No. 1. P. 70-80. 10. Geodakyan V.A. Man and woman. Evolutionary biological purpose // Woman in the aspect of physical anthropology. M., 1994. - P.8. 11. Dolnik V.R. Foolish child of the biosphere. - M., 2004.- 253 p. 12. Dyleva E. Orphanhood by inheritance. St. Petersburg Gazette. - 2011. - March 31. - P.2. 13. Woman in the aspect of physical anthropology. M., 1994. - P.8. 14. Ilyin E.P. Differential psychophysiology of men and women. St. Petersburg, 2002.-209 p. 15. Istyagina-Eliseeva E.A. Women's emancipation as a factor in the development of the international physical culture and sports movement of 1860-1920 // Theory and practice of physical culture. - 2000. - No. 6. - P.9-12. 16. Knyazkin I. History of St. Petersburg prostitution. - St. Petersburg: Information Center “Baltika”, 203. - 452 p. 17. Kon I.S. Father // Week. - 1979, No. 11 18. Lubysheva L.I., Lomakina E.D. Woman in modern sports highest achievements. Second International Scientific Congress “Sport and Health”. - St. Petersburg, 2005 - P.161-163 19. Nikolaeva Yu.A. Ovarian failure in female athletes. Second International Scientific Congress “Sport and Health”. - St. Petersburg, 2005. - p. 203-204. 20. Paradise Ya. Formula of happiness: he and she. - No. 1, 2007. 21. Sobolev V.D., Gretskov A.D., Derganov Yu.P., Tychinin N.V. Some aspects of the psyche of female athletes in martial arts and sports games // First International Scientific Congress “Sport and Health” St. Petersburg, 2003. - t.1. - p.91-93. 22. Soboleva T.S., Sobolev V.D. Selection into women's sports and reproductive pathology. Second International Scientific Congress “Sport and Health”. St. Petersburg, 2005, p. 276-277. 23. Sulzhenko G. Battle of the sexes: is a truce possible? Feminism as a historical, social, theological phenomenon // Issue 7.- St. Petersburg: “Shandal”, 2004. 24. Tsutsiev S.A. Military service women in the Russian Armed Forces as an urgent hygienic problem: first results // Military preventive medicine. Problems and prospects. 1st Congress of Military Doctors, Medical Prevention. profile of the RF Armed Forces. St. Petersburg, November 26-28, 2002 / Proceedings of the Congress. - St. Petersburg, 2002. - P.424-425. 25. Figdor G. Children of divorced parents: between trauma and hope. Psychoanalytic research. M., 1995. - 121 p. 26. The dangers of growing up without a father // Awake! 2000, no. 2. - P.15-17. 27. Shenkman S. Women's sport is becoming masculine, and men's sport is becoming brutal // Be healthy. - 1996, No. 4. - pp. 81-84. 28. Berman H.J. Characteristics of the Western Legal Tradition, from Law and Revolution // The Formation of the Western Legal Tradition. Harvard University Press, 1983. 29. Busby D.M., Compton S.V. Patterns of sexual coercion in adult heterosexual relationships: An exploration of male vitimization // Family Process, 1997. - 36, No. 1. - R. 81-94. 30. Wilkis Sh., Miller Th.A. Working Women: How it’s working out. In: Taking Sides: Clashing Views on Controversal Social Issues. Ed. by K. Finsterbuch and G. McKenna. Guilford, 1990.- P.61.

To consider sexual relationships between types, we will divide them again into 4 subgroups, just as we did earlier, but we will use two other pairs of characteristics, namely: sensory-intuition on the one hand and discursiveness-resolution on the other. The last pair are not Jungian signs, so let’s say a few words about them separately.

Using this pair of signs, 16 types are divided into two pairs of quadra. The second and third quadras turn out to be “resolute” - decisive (lat. resolvo - I resolve, unravel, untie), i.e. prone to tough acts of will that sharply resolve contradictions. The first and fourth quadras are “discussive” - deliberative (Latin discutio - discussing, discussing), i.e. prone to open and broad discussion of contradictions that arise during the course of action. This pair of typological features, closely related to the life values ​​of the quadras, apparently originates in Jung’s archetypes of the collective unconscious.

Let us analyze the groups identified using these two axes through the prism of the hidden psychosexual tendencies of sociotypes. Here we will rather talk about the instinctive, carnal aspect of erotic relationships as opposed to the spiritual, platonic one, the consideration of which is devoted to the first half of this article. So, the “sensory-intuition” axis, intersecting orthogonally with the “resolution-discussion” axis, forms four psychoanalytic groups of sociotypes:

1. Resolution sensors - “aggressive” or “hunters” (Zhukov, Gorky, Napoleon, Dreiser).
2. Resolute intuitives - “victims” or “victims” (Yesenin, Hamlet, Balzac, Jack London)
3. Discussive sensory - “caring” or “father-mother” (Hugo, Dumas, Stirlitz, Gabin)
4. Discussive intuitives - “infantile” or “son-daughter” (Robespierre, Don Quixote, Dostoevsky, Huxley)

Let's look at male and female types separately.

Female types

"Caring" woman, or woman-mother
(Hugo, Dumas, Stirlitz, Gabin)

Tends to take care of her male partner. She is attracted to weak but intelligent men who obey her in everyday affairs. She is pleased to protect them, support them, and encourage them. Such character qualities, which in the mass consciousness do not evoke respect for males, are forgiven by this woman or considered completely acceptable.

Woman - "Aggressor"

He always tries to compete with a man, including in erotic relationships. Prone to irony and ridicule of the opposite sex. Likes to feel more competent than a man in any matter. During a love game, she expects ingratiation, ostentatious weakness, and emotional instability from a man.

"Victim" woman or female victim

The ideal of such a woman is a physically strong man, reminiscent of supermen from American action films. She wants to experience his strength, resist his onslaught, feel like a victim. In love games he gives preference different forms confrontation that ignites the passion of the partner. Women of this type sometimes have inherent masochistic traits. True, not all of them are aware of this.

"Infantile" woman, or woman-daughter

The ideal of this woman is a kind and experienced man, well adapted to life, usually older than her. In the presence of such a man, she feels like a little girl, dependent on him for almost everything. In a love game, preference is given to the psychological factor - sincere conversation, relaxing music, creating conditions for relaxation. Above all, he values ​​condescension and care.

Male types

A "caring" man, or a man-father
(Hugo, Dumas, Stirlitz, Gabin)

An experienced and attentive partner to a woman’s spiritual world, who knows how to win her over with protective courtship. In the game of love, he greatly values ​​women’s tenderness and vulnerability and expects admiration for his life experience and skill.

Man - "Aggressor"
(Zhukov, Gorky, Napoleon, Dreiser).

This sociotype has a tendency to violently take possession of a woman. In love play he likes to demonstrate wrestling. He can indulge in rudeness, sometimes causing women pain - both physical and moral. Expects women to submit to force.

"Victim" man
(Yesenin, Hamlet, Balzac, Jack London)

Idealizes a powerful woman. Adapts to her tastes, respects her strong-willed qualities. His behavior either emphasizes his dependence and obedience, or breaks out of control. In a relationship with a woman, he subconsciously expects orders, tricks, and reproaches. Not receiving such reactions, he involuntarily provokes their manifestation.

"Infantile" man, or man-son
(Robespierre, Don Quixote, Dostoevsky, Huxley)

Dependent, naive in everyday affairs, expects business and emotional support from a woman. He involuntarily emphasizes his lack of attention, ruined abilities, and inability to cope with the struggle of life. Respects experience and responsiveness to his problems in women.

Psychosexual compatibility

"Caring" woman.

Does not accept strong but rough caresses from a man. Deprived of foreplay, erotic power play depresses her sexuality, which is why male supermen disappoint her. The behavior of a man compatible with her should be infantile, i.e. timid, expectantly inviting. Such a woman loves affection, which is expressed in gentle, childishly weak touches to the erogenous zones. The relationship with the Victimized man also does not suit her, since his capriciousness, tricks and provocation of force surprise and repel her. Relationships with a caring man who is identical in psychosexual aspirations disappoint her over time, although, in principle, she has nothing against it. Sooner or later, amid the comfort with which she was surrounded, she will feel a lack of spirituality.

"Aggressive" woman

He is looking for an object for his powerful and active erotic actions. Most of all, she is satisfied with a man who behaves obediently but capriciously with her. Then she has a reason for aggression. A victimized man idolizes such a woman and at the same time is afraid of her. His behavior can be compared to the behavior of a page who devotes himself entirely to serving the “beautiful lady.” Constant play is the best cure for satiety. In a relationship with an Infantile man, she will lack playful submissiveness on his part. His reluctance to adapt to aggressive attacks cannot but bring such an alliance to the brink of rupture. Relationships with a male “Aggressor”, on the one hand, flatter her and spur her passion, but, on the other hand, they also repel her, since they do not lead to the desired victory. Therefore, they can only have varying success. A caring man will irritate her with his attitude towards her as a small child, which she perceives as humiliation.

"Victim" woman (victim)

Skillfully plays on his weakness, insecurity or disorganization, thereby provoking an Aggressive man to take active and decisive action. In love games, the greatest importance for her is the strong embrace and strength of the male body, yielding to which she demonstrates her submission to the will of the man. Men of the Caring type seem to her to be comfortable, but too boring partners, and in her heart she considers Infantile men to be completely weak-willed weaklings. With men of a similar type, a victimized woman enters into complex, subtextual relationships, competing with them in sacrifice and demanding special privileges for this. Often such games literally exhaust both. At this point, I think it is necessary to mention that psychoanalytic groups are considered without special detail, so individual more subtle differences within them disappear. In particular, among Victim T-types, the fact remains unnoticed that they are usually divided into “tragic victims” (ET and TE) and “comic victims” (TR and RT).

"Infantile" woman (child)

In the erotic life of a woman of this type, subtle caresses and psychologism of relationships are of greatest importance. She, without any special intentions, demonstrates through her actions fragility and childish naivety. An infantile woman easily accepts the affairs and hobbies of a partner with whom she sympathizes. In love games, she gladly takes up the initiative of a caring man, showing her own sophistication and imagination. On supermen, i.e. Men of the Aggressive type, such a woman, of course, pays attention, but is afraid to get close to them because of their instinctiveness and rudeness. A man of the Victim type suits her only partially: he starts out romantically, but then confuses her with his demonstration of suffering and unpredictability. With men of the same Infantile type, she will definitely feel discomfort from the lack of care for her daily needs. In such a couple, the degree of alienation will slowly increase.

When politicians, or representatives of the church, and there are hundreds of them, are “blue”, I still have difficulty understanding this.
The Blue Brotherhood helps its own people, which is logical and obvious. A member of a diaspora always has an advantage over an individual, since he is supported by the diaspora, which is why they ended up “at the top.”

But when the FSB generals have rear-wheel drive, it’s no time for jokes...
The problem is not orientation, but the fact that the brain is a chemical “machine” and pederasts have their hormonal settings “knocked down”, which is why they don’t see the fullness of the world because their brain doesn’t work correctly, according to “simplified” algorithms, which is why relatively simple combinations of 50-100 consecutive actions are unimaginable in complexity for them and lie far beyond the boundaries of their worldview; they themselves can calculate options for only 3-5 steps, which makes it impossible to work in prediction mode (the predictor must calculate the situation for 1000 and more moves forward, but only a few out of billions of people are capable of this).
Which, as a consequence, leads to management errors and ordinary people feel the consequences of these errors.
The solution is simple - change the structure of government by making it “foolproof”.
We know how to do this. TAU to help)

I have neither hatred nor even dislike for homosexuals, I don’t communicate with them, but nevertheless they created a problem for me. Clinging to power like a cat fighting in a bun they interfere with the normal development of society by becoming a “brake”, since they put their personal interests and the interests of the “blue brotherhood” above the common good, taking revenge on ordinary people whom they hate.
Because of this, the rotation of power for further development society represents a certain problem, the range of valid solutions to which lies “outside the legal field” - from force using GP resources to the liquidation of the Russian Federation as a state (a complex combination).
Alexander V. Baranov, GPΔ17

Putin's erection and arousal are muddy:

The attitude of homosexuals towards the girl is neutral, without concern to win her over. And for the boy - special. A homosexual behaves differently with a boy than a man does. Homosexuals with a boy cannot and are not capable of behaving differently, because they are unable to restrain themselves and not show the boy their special attitude towards him. Even in public, under a video camera and in front of journalists: hug, pinch, stroke, take your hand and hold your hand in your hand, put your hand on your shoulder, stroke your head, reward you with a buttery smile, look into your eyes with a compassionate look. At the same time, the homosexual allows ambiguous intonations with the desire to win the boy over, soften him, feel sorry for him and sympathize with him in a motherly way.

The boy feels the unusual behavior of a homosexual, that it is not similar to the behavior of a man-father, but similar to the behavior of a compassionate mother. And he begins to show interest in the homosexual.

Having thus met the boy, the homosexual no longer lets him out of his sight. With each new meeting, the homosexual becomes bolder and more persistent: he treats him with sweets, gives trifling gifts, under plausible pretexts he arranges new meetings, bringing closer the process of molestation, corruption of the boy and turning him into a homosexual.

The above can be summarized with a crude anecdote from the common people: “Boy, do you want some candy?” “No, uncle, my butt hurts since last time.”

At one of the meetings, an assistant exclaimed: “Well, how can I clearly explain to you why we are all irresistibly drawn to young boys? A young and pink ass is more pleasant to deal with than an old and black one. And the fact that the boy will never become a man does not bother us. We live and don’t complain to doctors. Everyone has their own destiny. You guys are also drawn to the young and long-legged. Why is there a demand from us, but not from you?”

This is homosexual “logic”.

Of course, regular readers from the Donald Trump think tank, the CIA and the White House know this)))

The eternal question of women who seek advice from a psychologist, astrologer, or fortune teller is how will their relationship with this man develop? With which, as a rule, there are so many problems that it is already difficult to cope without a specialist. As a rule, people seek help when the case is already advanced. Because it's too late, I'm in trouble. It is much easier to recognize a potential problem in advance. And if this has already happened, you need to reconsider your attitude towards the situation, towards yourself and towards the tormenting man as soon as possible. And then the external situation will change - either the man causing suffering will disappear on his own, or he will change (but this happens extremely rarely, unfortunately, rather as an exception to the rule). And this will open the way to a bright streak in a woman’s life, to a new relationship, this time harmonious.

First of all, I would like to note that every woman needs to treat herself with love and respect. Without self-love, it is almost impossible to build harmonious relationships. Because others treat us the way we treat ourselves and, therefore, how we allow ourselves to be treated. Moreover, what kind of people are attracted to us depends on our inner attitude. Secondly, the important thing is that the point here is not so much in the man, but in the woman herself. Namely, what kind of men she chooses. There are a number of types of men who are not capable of long-term and harmonious relationships (there are also women, but in this article we will talk about men). And until a woman realizes where she is making a mistake and internally reconsiders her attitude towards herself and towards similar men, she will step on the same rake again and again (as a rule, each subsequent case is worse than the previous one). Often unsuitable men are attracted to women who can be called idealists, maximalists, overly romantic people who dream of ideal, passionate, all-consuming love. As a rule, this is a consequence of a lack of love on the part of the father. Having matured, such a girl subconsciously strives to arouse love for herself in precisely those men who cannot give it to her. And the pattern repeats itself over and over again. Less often, the opposite situation occurs - excessive idealization of the father, great love on his part.

Types of men with whom it is dangerous to have a relationship.

He swears his love to you, and in moments of intimacy he is caring and gentle. But when communicating with you, he always looks at his watch, hides you from everyone, cannot meet with you on weekends and holidays, while saying that he loves only you. However, in reality there are not two of you, but three of you. At the same time, he will have a lot of explanations for why he cannot leave his wife, despite the fact that he loves only you, but does not love her and she does not understand him. Or, he will always promise you that the time will soon come and he will divorce and marry you. But all this will happen... in the future. These are just words. Not actions. Although there are exceptions.

This type of man behaves with you exactly the same as a married man. But at the same time she is not married. He looks like a great man who makes you feel good when you're having fun together. But when you need help... he's not there, he's out of reach. He always has things to do that are more important than you. At the same time, he, too, like a married man, does not introduce you to his friends, does not tell his parents about you (let alone introduce you to them). When he needs you, he is your covenant, and you are nearby. But he doesn't even entertain the thought of being there for you when you need him. He doesn't think about it. He is already comfortable and good. And if you get tired of it and leave him, it will be... good for him too. Although perhaps not right away. Because it won't be comfortable for a while. After all, you won’t be there when he wants it, as always, for a few...hours or minutes.

He is a funny guy, a charmer and a joker. He is charming, sweet and irresistible. When you are together, he puts you on a pedestal, makes vows, jokes. It's never boring with him. But... out of the blue, he suddenly doesn’t get in touch with you, despite his promises. And he can disappear for weeks, not caring at all about your worries. Then, just as suddenly, he appears and, with constant charm, looking lovingly into your eyes, asks for forgiveness. So what if you found evidence of his betrayal in the form of lipstick on his shirt? After all, he is so charming and so faithfully promises that this will never happen again. And you forgive because you want to believe in a fairy tale. After all, this charmer is so sweet and speaks so skillfully about his love for you. But...he's as irresponsible as he is charming.

All his thoughts are about the same thing. All he needs from you is the satisfaction of his sexual needs. Sex replaces all the delights of a relationship between a man and a woman. He is not interested in heart-to-heart conversations, he does not know how to express his feelings to you, he craves only one thing. And he knows how to solve all problems in relationships only with sex. But... at any moment when you are not around, or when for some reason you cannot satisfy his sudden need, he can do it somewhere else. After all, sex is all he needs from a woman.

This man calls himself self-sufficient and independent. He doesn't need your presence at all. Or rather, he only wants to be with you sometimes. And not every day. After all, he is self-sufficient, and he feels good. You console yourself with the thought that you have him, because he is dating you. And that he will lend his strong masculine shoulder in a difficult situation. But... this is an illusion. Because he doesn't need it. And it may very well be that at some point his self-sufficiency in his relationship with you will reach such limits that he will no longer need to spend his time on you, at least occasionally. After all, the main thing for him is his freedom and independence.

Such a man will shower you with his attention in abundance, shower you with ardent declarations of love, fulfill your every whim without hesitation, is ready to literally do anything for you and cannot live without you. And soon you won’t be able to be alone for a minute. Because he will be with you all the time. He wants to merge with you, to always be one, and... will demand the same constant attention from you. You will have to give all your time only to him. So, in the end, you ask yourself the question - does he really love you, or is it some kind of painful addiction?

This is a soulful storyteller, an excellent expert female psychology. He paints in all colors the beauty of love for you and you as such. Beautiful words flow from him like a river. Ah, these women who “love with their ears!”... He casts languid glances at you, he talks about love, promises a lot, and constantly gets into your soul. He has a keen understanding of the slightest movements of the human soul, feels you very well and pretends that he is “on board” with you. He is an excellent manipulator, owns psychological methods impact. He knows your motives and needs, tells you everything you want and promises you a lot. And soon you realize that he has gotten so deeply into your soul that you can’t get him off. He hooked you on beautiful words, like a drug. He has the habit of subtly asking how much you love him, how much you need him. And you say - yes, I love you! This is exactly what he wanted. But... it soon becomes clear that he cannot offer you anything but words. And he doesn’t think it’s necessary. He is weak and helpless, does not keep his promises, and many do not even remember. He doesn't know how to act. All his energy is spent on beautiful words. As a rule, he has an inferiority complex, and through intimate conversations he makes women fall in love with him. For self-affirmation.

This is a man who loves only himself. He is simply not capable of loving anyone else. Especially if we are talking about a person who pays great attention to his appearance. Do you think it's nice to deal with such an elegant, handsome macho? However... this is only an appearance. The more carefully he chooses his clothes, shoes, perfume, hairstyle, the more he looks in the mirror and laments about the extra pounds he has gained, the more advanced the situation is - in front of you is a narcissistic narcissist. He really takes good care of himself, but... only of himself. It is simply not enough for others.

A man whose interests are limited solely to his career will never be able to make a woman happy. He disappears at work for days, and he doesn’t care about anything except her. In this pair, the man-work third is the odd one out. Probably, such a person has a very undeveloped ability to feel, love, and care. He replaces care and love with money earned at work. And, if a woman tries to be indignant at his inattention, he will reproach her for not appreciating his efforts to provide her with a sweet life. He simply won't hear her.

A man prone to harmful addictions can make any woman unhappy. And here neither the most wonderful compatibility nor love can save you. You can live with him, but... is it possible to live happily? And is it worth the pain?

At first glance, such a man can amaze you with his strength and masculinity. He knows how to solve problems, he is active, strong, decisive. He is the master of life. As a rule, he occupies a high position and earns good money. Behind him is like behind a stone wall. But one day you realize stone wall turned into a cage. Because such a man limits you in everything and dictates all your actions for a long time to come. Controlling every step. He perceives you as a thing, his property.

Is it worth explaining that if a man beats his woman every now and then, then relying on the well-known saying “He beats means he loves” is not the best way out. Moreover, he is not limited to beatings alone. And don’t skimp on insults and rudeness. If he is so aggressive that he easily raises his hand against you, it is stupid to believe that he can be changed and you will live like in a fairy tale. Even if he suddenly begins to promise that he will never repeat this again. If he raised his hand to you, try to put an end to this relationship as soon as possible.

This is a special type of man. He can have as much money as he wants, but this has little effect on the degree of his greed. He can explain this to you for any reasons, and even assure you that he is not greedy, but you should keep in mind that people are prone to “excuses”, even if they themselves are not aware of the true motives of their behavior. A man who spares money on his woman is not a man. And tomorrow he will spare money for his child. And then what? Believe in miracles? He can spare money on everyone except himself. Or he might be greedy for himself too. It's not that important. Another thing is important - it cannot be fixed. A man by nature is a protector, a provider. And if your chosen one has greed instead of these qualities, everything is too neglected. Run away from him and don't regret anything!

At first, he may seem so touchingly unhappy that he will touch your soul. You will want to pour out your tenderness on this unfortunate creature, warm him, caress him and finally make him happy with your love. After all, he has such sad eyes, he is so serious and reserved. He probably has such a vulnerable and sensitive soul that he is afraid to show his feelings so as not to be hurt or offended. And you will take it and melt the ice, because your love is enough for two. Stop! First of all, pay attention to your self-esteem! Why should you love for two? There will be no happiness in such a relationship. Because there is no harmony and equality there. And it won't. Secondly, such stories usually end in the collapse of relationships, a lot of disappointments, illnesses and mental trauma. Because insensitive, indifferent, cold-tempered man, who does not know how to love, will not melt from your love alone. He doesn't need it. Although there are exceptions - when a man, at first cautious and reserved, as the relationship develops and trust in you increases, he opens up and becomes loving and gentle with you. But this usually happens pretty quickly. And this is rare. If his coldness lasts for months, or even years, there is no point in expecting a miracle.

This money-obsessed type can hardly be called a man. But he doesn't think so. He is used to selling himself, his attractiveness (and often he is really damn attractive!). He is well versed in the intricacies of female psychology, skillfully manipulates and seduces. He can be a good lover. And he knows how to “show off” so that you lose your head over him. Having previously learned all the features of your excellent material well-being. But... will he love you? He only loves your money. You need to be very careful with this one and stay away from it. So that it doesn’t turn out like in one humorous story, “A friend met such a handsome guy! Not a man, but a fairy tale!” He doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke, doesn’t work, ... and doesn’t intend to. He lives in her luxurious apartment, with everything ready And he responds to all the indignation - if you don’t like something, I can leave, they’ll quickly pick me up, handsome.”

This is a man who, in principle, is incapable of love. Although he himself may not think so. But he calls anything love, just not love itself. He can sincerely admit that he is not monogamous. Hiding behind slogans from books that a man is a sower and all that jazz. So everything is in the nature of men, and not at all his fault. But he may not say this. It doesn't matter. If a man is walking, it is in vain to expect him to finally calm down and stop walking to the left. Even if he says that he loves only you and will no longer go to the left. However, if you are ready for this, continue to be with him. And even deceive yourself that you are happy and don’t go to doctors at all, don’t experience an inferiority complex, etc. and so on. But is it worth it?

This type is very similar to unavailable and independent. But he most often openly declares his bachelor principles. He does not accept the institution of marriage and cannot stand obligations. Taking responsibility for someone is simply stupid. For what? If you can live for yourself, your loved one, for your own pleasure. And he is not going to offer anything but sex to his sexual needs with women (after all, he doesn’t owe anyone anything). And he will always find them. He does not know the beauty of close relationships, care and family comfort. He doesn't understand this. The word “we” does not exist for him, and even infuriates him. And the word “ours, common” is generally like a red rag for a bull. Among bachelors there can also be misogynists.

This is a man full of abstruse ideas and reasoning. He will quote classics and philosophers, he is well-read, smart and looks down on this whole “imperfect world” with petty-bourgeois foundations. Often he leads an ascetic lifestyle and cannot earn anything (with loud slogans that money is so low and vulgar). May be overly involved in spiritual practices, Castaneda, yoga, etc. (which in itself is not at all bad, but not in the case of a gloomy philosopher). He ignores the physical, material world. May not take care of himself, be unkempt, unkempt. He has decreased sensory sensations. After all, he is a high-flying bird. He doesn’t care about generally accepted principles. He can also look down on marriage, cynically talking about “loving a woman like a wild flower - he saw, smelled, admired and moved on,” about open relationships. This is what "high relationships" are. Why should he burden himself with everyday life and serious relationships? After all, he is above this, all so spiritual, smart and advanced.

This man is a typical loser. He cannot find a decent job, he always sits penniless in his pocket, or even on someone’s neck. At the same time, he may consider himself an unrecognized genius, whom no one appreciates or understands. As a rule, he blames others and circumstances for his failures. At work, they say, he is not appreciated, his salary is not raised, his bosses are all bad, his colleagues are envious. His friends don’t understand him and that’s why, by and large, he doesn’t have any friends. And women are completely insidious creatures. And he had never seen a single good girl. They're all bitches. Whining, criticizing everything and everyone and seeking pity is his typical behavior. And even if at first he says that you may be an exception, and not like all these bitches, then the likelihood that in his eyes you will soon join the same cohort of bitches is very high.

This is the type of weak, dependent person. As a rule, he has an overbearing mother, or was raised by an overbearing grandmother. Often he is the only son of his parents (or of one mother, whose husband either abandoned her or never had one). And now he obeys his mother in everything, she completely controls him. If he manages to fly out from under her wing and starts a relationship with you, firstly, his mother will most likely not approve of his choice (why does she need competitors?), and he will listen to her, or he will behave with you just like with a powerful and strong mother. He won’t be able to take a step without you, he will be entirely under your influence. There is no need to look for support and support in such a man. And with his addiction, he will very soon begin to drive you crazy. Do you need an over-aged, infantile “son”, or is it still a man?

The list goes on. But the trends are clear. Of course, all these types are just conventions. And they, as a rule, are exaggerated, as in any typology. In addition, there are practically no pure types in nature. Usually several of these characteristics, developed to varying degrees, are combined in one person. Some of them are intersecting. All people are not perfect. And this or that trait may be present in a normal man who knows how to build good relationships. But the most important thing is to understand to what extent it is developed. And if some of these traits are strongly and seriously expressed in a man, then, of course, you can build a relationship with him if you really want to (but is it worth it?). Moreover, “love is evil.” But! Is this love? Love is harmony. Although many call it strong feelings, where there is a lot of suffering, or passion, or painful dependence. Anything but love. Remember that it is almost impossible to create a long and happy relationship with such a man. Although many of our women live by the principle “even if it’s bad, it’s mine.” Here you should decide for yourself what you want - a happy family and a loving, reliable man nearby, who not only makes you happy, but is also happy that you are nearby. Or suffering, complexes, tears and psychosomatic illnesses. And remember, no matter what a man is, he must take care not only of himself, but also of you and your children. How about yourself. But playing with one goal will not bring happiness.

Evgeny Levin. Homosexuality and Orthodox Judaism.
Date of: Monday, March 07 @ 00:00:00 MSK
Subject: Tradition

Preface

Recently, on the “Russian street” various problems related to homosexuality and homosexuality have been actively discussed, such as: recognition of the legitimacy of homosexual marriages, the possibility of adoption of children by homosexual couples, etc. More “theoretical” questions are also actively discussed, for example, whether homosexual orientation is congenital or acquired.

And at first glance, the position of Judaism on this issue is quite simple and unambiguous, and is expressed by the well-known biblical verse:

If anyone lies with a man as with a woman, then both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death, their blood be on them.(Leviticus 20:13)

However, such general declarations do not always help in solving certain specific problems that Jewish communities or educational institutions face in everyday life:

In particular, members of the Jewish community may be faced with the problem of how to respond to the fact that one of the community members is homosexual. A Jewish teacher has to figure out how to react if a teenager with a homosexual orientation turns to him for advice or help. Finally, Jewish parents are asked how to behave if it turns out that their son is gay.

From religious Jews participating in discussions about homosexuality, one can often hear statements that are difficult to define as anything other than openly homophobic (as an example, one can name articles by a famous Russian-speaking Israeli journalist and/or an equally famous Russian-speaking Israeli poet). Against this background, the two articles below stand out for their moderation, balance and common sense.

We hope that these articles will help the reader form a fairly objective opinion about the position of Judaism on the issue under discussion.

Homosexuality and Orthodox Judaism

Torah on homosexuality

The prohibition on sodomy (Source #1-2) is located in the Torah between the prohibition of sacrificing children to idols and the prohibition of bestiality. In most countries, both are still considered an abomination, incompatible with modern morality. However, since homosexuality is widespread and practiced by a large number of people, there is an opinion that the Torah is “outdated” on this issue.

Many traditional Jews who are gay are very afraid of the "traditional" answers about homosexuality. Some observant parents even sit shiva after learning their child is gay. This approach looks like the classic Torah approach.

However, after the initial shock wears off, many religious parents begin to be more relaxed about their children's homosexuality. Next we will discuss how, despite the strict prohibition of the Torah, such an attitude can be permissible from a halakhic point of view.

Reasons for the Torah's view of homosexuality

In the Torah, sodomy is called toaiva - “abomination.” What does this word mean? Usually the sages do not explain the meaning of words in the Torah. Moreover, the meaning of the word “abomination” seems obvious - it is what is “hateful” in the eyes of God. However, in this case the Talmud gives a special explanation. Based on a play on words (Source #3), the Talmud states that by committing an act of sodomy, a person “deviates.”

What is this supposed to mean? As commentators of the Talmud explain, a person, indulging in an unnatural relationship, thereby deviates from the main goal of all living things - the commandment to “be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth” (Gen. 1:28).

We will discuss this in more detail below. Now let us note that this explanation does not at all look like a “literal reading” of the word “toaiva” (“abomination”). That is, from the point of view of the Talmud, sodomy is prohibited not because it is “vile,” but because it is a “deviation” from settling the earth.

Scripture (Source #4) holds that the “waste of seed” through sodomy prevents childbearing and the repopulation of the earth - i.e. interferes with the fulfillment of a person’s main mission. This purpose is named by the prophet Isaiah (Source #5) as the main purpose of creation.

Such an explanation does not indicate the “impurity” of homosexual relations, but the fact that it is a deviation from the main mission of man on earth.

We can better understand the Torah's attitude toward homosexuality if we compare it with the attitude toward other sins called "toaiva." There are many acts listed in the Torah that are said to be “abominations.” Worshiping the idols of conquered peoples is considered "toaiva" (Source #6). Eating non-kosher food is also called (Source #6). It is stated that all “customs of the Canaanites” are an “abomination” (Source #6), and it is also prohibited to adopt such customs from the peoples of Canaan. After listing some of these customs - sacrificing children, using necromancy to predict the future, etc. - God says that because the people of Canan practiced such “vile practices,” He gives their land to the Jews (Source #6).

What do all these actions have in common? All these are pagan customs of a society whose values ​​are incompatible with Judaism. God warns the Jews not to adopt these customs and not to follow the values ​​behind them. Based on this, sodomy, also called "toaiva", can be considered a thing incompatible with Judaism and Jewish values, and which Jews should not adopt from the peoples among whom they live or which they have conquered.

The attitude of Judaism towards sodomy can also be understood from other biblical and Talmudic sources, as well as from midrashim. The Talmud cites Rav's opinion (Source #7) that Potiphar bought Joseph for homosexual pleasures. (From this we can understand that, according to the sages, homosexuality was very common in Egypt at that time.) Therefore, the commandment of the Torah not to imitate Egyptian customs (Source #8) also applies to homosexuality. According to one opinion, widespread homosexuality (and bestiality) was also one of the causes of the flood (Source #9). According to another midrash, when Noah got drunk, his son, Ham, committed an act of sodomy with him (Source #10), for which he was then cursed. Further, according to the Torah, the inhabitants of Sodom tried to rape two of Lot’s guests (Source #11; hence the term “sodomy”), which was one of the reasons for the destruction of the city.

As can be seen from all of the above examples, homosexuality is seen as a normal practice in societies that are an “abomination” in the eyes of God. It is significant that, according to the Torah, each of these societies suffered severe punishment.

Accordingly, such a practice is unacceptable for Jews, since it is an imitation of these societies.

This Torah position is reflected in practical halakhah. However, in the halakhic literature there are also many other interesting discussions regarding this topic. In particular, there is much debate about the nature of homosexuality - whether it is innate, or can be acquired through the process of socialization, or is a consequence of both factors at the same time. Many doctors and scientists believe that homosexuality is innate and therefore cannot be learned (this opinion, in particular, is shared by the AMA - American Medical Association). However, in light of new research, and given the fact that some homosexuals have “learned” to be heterosexual, some experts insist that homosexuality is the result of “learning” and therefore depends on the environment. The fact that the number of homosexual relationships increases sharply in single-sex societies (for example, in prisons or men's hostels) may also indicate that homosexual behavior is, at least in part, “learned.”

From the perspective of Torah and Halakha (discussed below), homosexuality is viewed as a social or behavioral problem rather than an innate quality. Therefore, the Torah commands Jews to distance themselves from the customs of those societies in which homosexuality is common.

Contrary to modern views, the Mishnah (Source #12) considers sodomy together with bestiality. According to a minority, a person is suspected of being capable of both, and therefore is not left alone with another man or animal - just as a man, for fear of forbidden intimacy, is not allowed to be alone with a woman (Maimonides, Laws of Forbidden Relationships 22 :1). However, according to most sages (Source #12), a Jew is not suspected of either sodomy or bestiality, and therefore a Jewish man can retire with another man or animal. From this we can conclude that during the time of the Talmud, homosexuality was not common in Jewish communities (if this were not the case, the sages would undoubtedly not have condoned such a practice, and would not have been afraid to forbid two men to have privacy).

In the early responses we do not find any discussion of the topic of homosexuality. Jews asked many questions regarding various “perversions” and “deviations,” but not about sodomy. This also seems to indicate that homosexuality was not common in Jewish communities of the post-Talmudic era.

Maimonides (Source #13), who lived in the 12th century, ruled, in accordance with the opinion of most of the sages of the Mishnah, that a Jewish man was not suspected of sodomy or bestiality. He added, however, that those Jews who avoid solitude with men or animals are worthy of praise. Those. in the 12th century, homosexuality was not common in the Jewish communities of Spain and Egypt.

Apparently, the situation changed somewhat in the era of Rabbi Yosif Karo, author of the Shulchan Aruch (Source #14). At first, Karo quotes the words of Maimonides verbatim, but then adds: “in these times of great licentiousness, two men should not be alone or sleep in the same bed.” . From this we can draw two conclusions. First, in the 16th century, homosexuality was quite common among the Jews of Palestine. And secondly, halakha recognizes that homosexual behavior depends on the social climate, and adequately responds to social changes in Jewish communities.

However, two hundred years later, the commentator of Shulchan Arukha, R. Sirkis, wrote (Source #15) that he did not understand these words of Shulchan Arukha, since he did not see any traces of homosexuality in his community. Therefore, he did not agree that this halakhah should apply to his community, and allowed the two men to have privacy.

(Nowadays, when homosexuality is common not only in society, but also, no doubt, in the Jewish communities of Western countries, perhaps the halakhah should follow the Shulchan Aruch, and prohibit two men from seclusion.)

Torah about homosexuals

Judaism distinguishes between the desire to sin and sin itself. Judaism recognizes that in any area a Jew, being normal person, periodically desires what is forbidden. The desire to sin in itself is considered quite normal in Judaism. In particular, it is precisely because of such a desire (completely natural!) that the Torah forbids a Jew to be alone with a woman. However, the Torah repeatedly repeats (eg Numbers 15:39) that it prohibits ACTION, not DESIRE. For desire is completely natural and therefore cannot be prohibited. However, the IMPLEMENTATION of these desires is contrary to both Jewish ideals and Jewish law.

Therefore, although it is natural for a person to desire another man’s wife, the realization of this desire is a violation of one of the commandments of the Decalogue. Likewise, the Torah may well “recognize” the existence of homosexual desire, and at the same time prohibit the realization of this desire.

As stated in the famous midrash (Source #16), a Jew SHOULD NOT say that he does not want forbidden things (for example, pork), but must say; “I want this, but since God forbade it, I won’t do it.”

Any society, including a secular one, requires a person to control his sexuality, and regulates the realization of the sexual fantasies of its citizens. This is also true for Judaism, which, among other things, prohibits a person from following his homosexual attraction.

THE JEWISH RELIGION HATES SIN, NOT SINNERS!

The First Lubavitcher Rebbe wrote (Source #17) that we must hate sin, but still continue to love the sinner. This opinion is considered normative in Judaism. Therefore, while we are disgusted by the sin of sodomy, we are obliged to “love” the homosexual.

We do not have the right to exclude a person from being a Jew because of any sin. For example, we do not expel Sabbath violators from the community or deprive them of the opportunity to pray in the synagogue (according to the Torah, subject to the death penalty). Likewise, a gay man who has committed the sin of sodomy cannot be expelled from the community. Since not one of us is without sin (Eccl. 7:20), if we want to drive all sinners out of the synagogue, we will be forced to drive everyone out of there. And since we do not have the right to judge which sins are “heavy” and which are “light” (Avot 2:1), any Jew who wants to remain a Jew and be part of the community has the right to do so. As it is said in the Talmud (Source #18), a Jew, even after sinning, remains a Jew.

Some homosexual Jews strive to “be among their own” and create separate communities for gays. Judaism has an extremely negative attitude towards such ideas: this is not a Jewish way out. The Jewish community should be made up of different Jews. According to tradition, the Hebrew word tzibur ("community") is an acronym for the words "righteous" ("tzadikim"), "average" ("beinonim") and "evildoers" ("rashaim").

The same idea is reflected in the commandment about 4 types of plants performed on Sukkot - in accordance with tradition, each plant symbolizes a specific group of Jews, as well as in the prayer said on Yom Kippur before Kol Nidrei, Mishnah (Source #19) directly prohibits separation from the community.

Modern Halacha on Homosexuality and Homosexuals

We bring to your attention the opinions of three modern rabbis.

Rabbi Shmuel Boteach argues that homosexuality cannot be considered a “deviation” because the phrase “sexual deviation,” in his opinion, is an oxymoron: sex is an instinctive thing, and instinct cannot be a “deviation.” However, God expressed his “preference” for the heterosexual option, and only allowed this type of sexual activity for man. Since Scripture has predetermined the morality of Western society, its (Scripture's) position must be taken seriously.

Prominent ultra-Orthodox Rabbi Aaron Feldman (Baltimore) was recently criticized for his views on this issue. According to Rabbi Feldman, non-practicing homosexuals can make significant contributions to Jewish life. According to him, a Jew is judged by his deeds, and not by his orientation. Only certain actions are prohibited, not inclinations.

The Torah requires you to control your behavior, even if it is not easy. Therefore, Judaism has a negative view of homosexual activity, not homosexual orientation.

Denis Prager argues that Judaism does not prohibit homosexual love, since in this case it is natural. Only homosexual sexual intercourse is prohibited. From the perspective of Judaism, Jews simply have sexuality, without specifying a preference.

Scripture has done more than any book in human history to make our world a civilized one. Therefore, the Torah's opinion regarding homosexuality should be taken as seriously as possible by humanity.

Sources

1. Leviticus 18:21-23

Do not give any of your children to serve Molech, and do not dishonor the name of your God. I am the Lord. Do not lie with a man as with a woman: this is an abomination. And do not lie with any cattle, so as to shed [semen] and become defiled by it; and a woman should not stand in front of cattle to have sex with them: this is disgusting.

2. Leviticus 20:13

If anyone lies with a man as with a woman, then both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death, their blood be on them.

3. Nedarim 51A

It is said in the Torah: To’evah - “to’e ata ba” (תועבה - תועה אתה בה)

4. Sefer Hinuch, Commandment 209

The root of this commandment is that the Almighty willed that the world he created should be populated. Therefore, he forbade the waste of semen through sodomy. For this is the complete destruction of the seed, since there is no offspring from this.

5. Isaiah 45:18

For thus says the Lord, who made the heavens, He, the God who formed the earth and created it; He established it, He did not create it in vain; He formed it for residence: I am the Lord, and there is no other.

6. Deuteronomy 7:25-26

Burn the idols of their gods with fire; You shall not desire to take for yourself the silver or the gold that is on them, lest it be a snare to you, for it is an abomination to the Lord your God; and do not bring abomination into your house, lest you fall under a curse like she did; turn away from this and abhor this, for it is an accursed thing.

Deuteronomy 14:3

Don't eat any nasty stuff.

Leviticus 18:26-29

But you shall keep My statutes and My laws, and do not do all these abominations, neither the native nor the stranger who dwells among you, for all these abominations have been committed by the people of this land that is before you, and the land has become defiled; so that the earth does not overthrow you from itself when you begin to desecrate it, as it overthrew the nations that were before you; for if anyone does all these abominations, the souls of those who do these things will be cut off from their people.

Deuteronomy 18:9-12

When you enter the land that the Lord your God is giving you, then do not learn to do the abominations that these nations have done: you shall not have anyone who leads his son or daughter through fire, a soothsayer, a fortuneteller, a sorceress, a sorcerer, a charmer who calls up spirits. , magician and questioner of the dead; For everyone who does this is an abomination to the Lord, and for these abominations the Lord your God drives them out from before you.

7. Cell 13B

“Joseph was taken to Egypt, and Potiphar the Egyptian, the officer of the Pharaohs, the captain of the guard, bought him from the hands of the Ishmaelites who had brought him there” (Gen. 39:1). Rav said: he bought it for sexual pleasures, but the Archangel Gabriel castrated him.

8. Leviticus 18:3

You shall not do the works of the land of Egypt, in which you dwelt, and you shall not do the works of the land of Canaan, where I am leading you, and do not walk according to their statutes.

9. Genesis 6:12-13

And [the Lord] God looked upon the earth, and behold, it was corrupt, for all flesh had perverted its way on the earth. And [the Lord] God said to Noah, “The end of all flesh is come before Me, for the earth is filled with evildoings from them; and behold, I will destroy them from the earth.

10. Genesis 9:22 and Sanhedrin 70A

And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw his father's nakedness, and went out and told his two brothers...

Rav and Shmuel argued about this verse: Rav said - he castrated Noah; Shmuel said he committed an act of sodomy with him.

11. Genesis 19:4-5

They had not yet gone to bed when the city dwellers, the Sodomites, from young to old, all the people from all parts of the city, surrounded the house and called Lot and said to him: where are the people who came to you for the night? bring them out to us; we will know them.

12. Kidushin 82A

Said R. Judas: An unmarried person cannot herd cattle, and two unmarried people cannot sleep under the same blanket. However, the sages allowed both. Why? The sages said to R. Judas: a Jew is not suspected of sodomy or bestiality.

A Jew is not suspected of bestiality or sodomy. Therefore, it is not forbidden for a man to be alone with an animal or another man. However, the one who avoids this is worthy of praise.

14. Shulchan Aruch, Even-Ha-Ezer 24:1

A Jew is not suspected of bestiality or sodomy. Therefore, it is not forbidden for a man to be alone with an animal or another man. However, the one who avoids this is worthy of praise.

And the great Jewish sages did not isolate themselves with a man or an animal. And in our generation, when promiscuity is widespread, a man should not be alone with another man.

15. Beit Hadash, Even HaEzer 24

It is said in the Shulchan Aruch: “And in our generation, when promiscuity is widespread, a man should not be alone with another man.” This is said for his country and his generation. And it seems like this is the law. However, since promiscuity in our country is small, it is not prohibited for a man to be alone with another man. However, the one who chooses not to be alone is worthy of praise.

16. Midrash "Yalkut Shimoni" on Leviticus 20.

A person should not say: I don’t want to eat pork, I don’t want anything forbidden. But he must say: I want, but what can I do when the Almighty has forbidden it.

17. Tania 32

But regarding the one who does not keep the commandments, and therefore is not a “neighbor,” Hillel the Old said: “Be a disciple of Aaron, who loved the world, loved all people and brought them closer to the Torah.” It is said regarding people who have estranged themselves from the divine Torah: there is a commandment to hate them, and a commandment to love them. Both of these feelings are correct: hatred of the evil that is in them, and love of the good that is hidden in them, and which is the spark of God....

18. Sanhedrin 44A

A Jew, even having sinned, remains a Jew.

19. Avot 2:4

Hillel says: “Do not withdraw from society.”

Application

About religious consultations

for the orthodox homosexual teenager

Yoel Wolowelsky and Bernard Weinstein

Original English text: http://www.lookstein.org/articles/counseling.htm

We want to discuss the possible reaction of a rabbi, teacher, or religious counselor who is approached for advice by an Orthodox teenager who thinks he is homosexual. We are not trying to offer a full-fledged, including from a halakhic point of view, program of psychological assistance to homosexuals, and we are not going to enter into an argument about whether it is really possible to help any homosexual to change his orientation. In particular, the last question has become extremely confusing, including due to the fact that many homosexuals who find themselves “unable” to change their orientation may in fact turn out to be people who “escaped” from treatment that they found too painful, or were unable to “work well” with a particular psychologist, or ceased to believe that homosexuality was a source of psychological pain and fear for them (Moshe Halevi Spero, Handbook of Psychotherapy and Jewish Ethics (New York: Feldheim, 1986), p. 159).

In our opinion, a rabbi or religious consultant does not have enough qualifications to conduct a full-fledged psychological consultation, so the most correct thing would be to refer such a teenager to an experienced therapist. However, initial contact with a person of religious authority can have a significant impact on further consultations, and therefore requires a responsible and balanced response from the person being asked.

We think there is no need to explain for too long that some answers may simply be harmful. Of course, one cannot hide the halakhic fact that from the Torah's point of view, homosexual sexual intercourse is absolutely unacceptable. However, repeating this fact is unlikely to bring any benefit in this case. This will simply be a repetition of what the teenager already knows, who, in the end, is not looking for “permission” to homosexuality, but for support in the fight against an attraction that, in his opinion, he cannot control, and which incompatible with his religious beliefs. Therefore, simply by telling him that halakha cannot be violated, one can easily convince him that there is nowhere to wait for help. Meanwhile, he, at a minimum, deserves praise for the fact that he had enough courage to face the problem head on.

It is therefore very important that even in cases where it is obvious that the adolescent needs to be “handed over” to another consultant, the first meeting is used to discuss the problem productively. If a teenager concludes that the rabbi/teacher is afraid or not competent enough to deal with the problem, he may become afraid that there is no solution to his situation at all. Of course, someone who does not understand the subject should not try to solve all the problems of a teenager on his own (and should know where to refer him for professional help). However, this must be done in a way that inspires hope, not intimidation.

When it comes to homosexuality, before the rabbi and professional psychologist They face completely different, although equally legitimate, tasks. The latter’s task is, first of all, to help a person achieve peace with himself. The clergyman, for his part, is obliged to help a person strengthen in faith and observance of the commandments. These goals are not necessarily contradictory, but they must be well understood and differentiated.

To avoid conflict between their own halakhic and professional beliefs, many religious psychotherapists, paradoxically, refer homosexual clients to colleagues who hold neutral views regarding homosexuality. There is no need to explain that we strongly reject the assumption that a religious psychotherapist is not able to help people with a homosexual orientation (however, in this article we will not discuss how to smooth out the above contradiction).

At the first meeting, the main task of the religious counselor is, firstly, to determine the scale of the problem faced by the teenager, and secondly, to create a constructive atmosphere and basis for further discussion. In particular, the counselor should be aware that there is a danger that in such a situation the adolescent will think about suicide. Therefore, it is necessary to gently but directly ask how much the teenager is tormented by thoughts about his own homosexuality. A teenager may also talk about severe mental suffering and depression, so it is logical to ask if he has thought about committing suicide. A positive answer must be responded to calmly and taken into account. The counselor should ask whether the teenager has any specific plans of action and whether he has (currently or previously) attempted suicide. In general, the more specific the suicide plan, the more likely it is to be carried out. It is also useful to ask if there has been a history of suicide, depression, or any severe mental illness in the family.

Serious thoughts of suicide require immediate intervention from a qualified professional. A rabbi or teacher is not adequately trained to help a teenager cope with such serious danger. Therefore, if a teenager has real thoughts of suicide, it is necessary to first send him to a specialist in getting out of depression, and only then deal with the problem of his homosexuality. In addition, when inviting a teenager (and then his parents) to seek qualified help, it is necessary to explain that although homosexuality may be the central problem of his life for a teenager, it can only be one of the factors causing depression and thoughts of suicide.

The religious counselor should also pay attention to the feelings of guilt and/or “abnormality” that a teenager may experience in such a situation. Guilt had already pushed him to seek help; however, in the future it can hinder rather than help. In a certain sense, psychological distress and panic are necessary for successful therapeutic intervention. However, an overly exhausted and intimidated person is unlikely to be able to solve serious problems. He must first be reassured by giving him enough confidence to find enough strength to solve his problems.

It must be stated unequivocally that although homosexuality is prohibited by the Torah, homosexual inclinations are not at all a sign of “abnormality.” From a Torah point of view, the young man, despite his homosexual inclinations, is most likely completely “normal.”

To better explain what is meant, it may be helpful for the counselor to remind them that the Torah does not, for example, explicitly prohibit coprophagy. And this is no coincidence, since this is not typical for normal people anyway, and we rightly doubt the mental health of someone who has such an addiction. And if something does not occur to normal people, the Torah does not consider it necessary to specifically prohibit it.

But at the same time, the Torah forbids eating non-kosher food, and even kosher dishes must be abstained from if they are not healthy. However, no one considers a Jew who eats pork or a sick person who eats food rich in cholesterol to be “abnormal.” Moreover, regarding the first, Midrash Sifra (Kdoshim 9) expresses an opinion, subsequently repeated by Maimonidm (Shemoneh Prakim VI): “Do not say: I have no desire to eat meat and milk; I have no desire to wear clothes made of linen and wool; I have no desire to enter into an illicit relationship. But say: I have desires, but I will not do it, because the Almighty has forbidden it.” Likewise, when the core is meat and blood, we instinctively understand that we are not talking about madness, but just stupidity.

On the other hand, obese people who try in vain to solve their medical problems by losing weight, but are unable to fight their own gluttony, are undoubtedly sick. The words of Rabbi Yoisef Soloveitchik regarding the emotional feelings of a person who has lost someone close to him can be true in other matters:

Halakha firmly believes that man is free and that he can control not only his actions, but also his emotions. Halacha believes that a person's control over his emotional life is unlimited, and that a person is able to change his feelings through certain patterns and emotional structures.

(R. Joseph B. Soloveitchik, "A Eulogy for the Talner Rebbe," in Joseph Epstein, ed., Shiurei Harav (Hoboken, NJ: Ktav, 1994), p. 68.)

Regardless of how true this theoretical construction is for each individual person, it is obvious that the sign of illness is precisely “compulsion” and the lack of opportunity to choose, and not at all the feeling that unhealthy foods are tasty.

As for heterosexual attraction, we undoubtedly consider it normal and healthy. And we expect healthy people to be able to overcome their desire for those sexual acts that are prohibited by halakhah. According to R. Soloveitchik, the ability to resist such attractions is the main manifestation of human dignity:

“Your belly is a heap of wheat surrounded by lilies” (Song of Songs 7:3). The boy and girl are young and passionate in love. One more step, and love will unite them, the dream will become reality. And suddenly they move away from each other, because doubt has arisen about ritual purity. They show paradoxical heroism and accept their defeat. Here, in this refusal, there is no romantic aura. This is not at all a beautiful gesture intended for the public, because there is no one to see and admire it. The heroic act does not take place in front of the festive crowd; no bards will sing about these two modest, humble, young people. It all happened in the privacy of their home, in the silence of the night. The young man, like the old man Yaakov, makes a renunciation at the very moment when what he wanted was about to come true. What made him retreat and move away from her?

A dish of meat was placed in front of a man and they said that the forbidden fat fell on him. And he withdraws his hand from the dish. So why didn't he try it? “Did a snake bite him, or was he stung by a scorpion?.. The fence (from the words of the Torah) is tender, like a hedge of lilies” (Rashi on the Song of Songs, 7:3).

This kind of dialectical discipline is not associated only with the area of ​​sex, it concerns all natural needs and drives, any manifestation of human instinct. A hungry person must overcome the joy of eating food if it is not kosher, no matter how strong the temptation; the owner must renounce the joy of acquisition if it is halakhically and morally wrong. That is, Halakha requires that a person have the ability to refuse. At the same time, as we have already said, a person is called upon, having retreated, to again advance towards complete victory.

(R. Joseph B. Soloveitchik, "Catharsis," Tradition, 17:2, Summer 1978).

Halakha focuses on a person's ability to refrain from a completely natural act, but not from the desire to do it. A young man who has homosexual fantasies but is able to control himself is completely healthy. However, a person who constantly experiences an irresistible urge to act against his own principles needs psychological help, regardless of the nature of this urge.

So, even if homosexual desires have been present in a person for quite a long time, and even represent an inseparable part of his nature, halakhah still calls the person to “heroic” resistance.

The Torah, as we know, calls sodomy an “abomination” (Lev. 18:22; 20:13) - just like some other types of forbidden relationships (Lev. 18:26-29), or eating non-kosher food (Deut. 14:3). Those. Scripture prohibits these actions not because they are “perversions,” but on the contrary, because they are completely normal, but incorrect from the point of view of the Torah.

Sometimes we can understand the reasons for a particular ban. In particular, the arguments against homosexuality sound as convincing as the arguments in favor of kashrut. However, whether we understand the reason for a particular prohibition or not, we can conclude that the Torah only prohibits what is an element of normal human behavior.

Therefore, we have no need to argue with the arguments of those psychologists who claim that many healthy people have homosexual fantasies from time to time. From a Torah perspective, the “normality” of an action does not say anything about it from an ethical or halakhic point of view. Homosexuality and seafood are called "abominations" and are forbidden because the Torah says so, not because they are "disgusting" like, say, excrement.

For a young Orthodox man plagued by homosexual fantasies, this approach sounds reassuring. For if he is “crazy,” then there is nothing to hope for. However, if he is mentally healthy and simply forced to struggle with his desires - just as other healthy people struggle with their desires in some other areas - then he has a chance to achieve a rich and halachically fulfilling life.

Halakha counters the "pro-homosexuality" campaign in secular society without attacking the principle that homosexual desire is "normal." From a halachic point of view, "normal" does not mean permitted. On the contrary, the ability to restrain one's natural urges is in Judaism a sign of both mental health and a moral lifestyle. Therefore, halakhah rejects the fashionable idea that sexual fulfillment is the summum bonum of our lives. From a Jewish perspective, the moral lifestyle often requires both homosexuals and heterosexuals to renounce full sexual fulfillment.

At some point in the conversation, you need to ask the teenager if he is ready to openly discuss a number of issues. It is not necessary to touch on all these issues directly at the first meeting, but even mentioning them will create conditions for further work, both as a religious consultant and as a psychotherapist. The consultant's ability to listen to any information without pushing away will set the right tone for all future conversations. Regardless of what the teenager says, he needs to be constantly supported, assuring him that he still deserves both love and help. If the rabbi or teacher's reaction to what he hears is shock, contempt, or cursing, the teenager may lose the self-confidence necessary to successfully solve his problems. Or, which is also likely, he will lose trust in religious authorities and stop discussing his problems with them.

There is no need to be afraid that non-judgment will be perceived as “permission”. It is quite enough to clearly state once that certain actions may be prohibited by halakhah, but this does not prevent us from discussing the problem as a whole.

It makes sense to list some specific issues that should be discussed at the first meeting, even before contacting a psychotherapist. And the first of these questions is why did the teenager come to such a conclusion regarding his orientation, as a result of reflection or action?

A teenager may mistake homosexual fantasies as a symptom of being gay. At the same time, homosexual fantasies may be a consequence of general sexual confusion, characteristic of many teenagers trying to understand the “adult” discussion about the nature of homosexuality, which is too complex for teenagers. Or - a reflection on the homosexual scene that he witnessed.

Homosexual fantasies can be frightening, causing a teenager to become fixated on them. In this case, the counselor may ask the student to talk about his fantasies in detail. Even if there is some underlying problem that requires therapeutic intervention, the very fact that you can talk to a “spiritual person” about what is troubling him, calmly and without judgment, creates a healthy atmosphere for further work.

It is useless to advise a teenager overcome by homosexual fantasies something like: “Get such thoughts out of your head” - if he could do this, he would not seek help at all. Of course, there is a halakhic prohibition regarding fantasizing about illicit sexual encounters, and this can be mentioned at some point during the conversation. However, if a religious counselor limits himself to generalities, he may develop a very misleading picture of the teenager's situation, which will significantly limit his ability to provide specific and useful advice. Moreover, a teenager may understand the teacher’s reluctance to listen to a story about his fantasies either as an assumption that the situation is hopeless and nothing can be done to help, or as an indication that the psychotherapist to whom he is referred cannot be trusted either.

Sometimes a teenager decides that he is a homosexual, simply because he cannot “pick up” girls as easily and naturally as they show on TV. Too vulnerable to discuss this problem with anyone, he often simply never heard that shyness and shyness are completely “normal” traits. An open, calm conversation about how depraved scenes from certain films are more likely to be considered “unhealthy” and “immoral” can often save a teenager from many unnecessary worries.

Even the actual homosexual act is not always evidence of homosexual orientation. Although homosexuality is expressly prohibited by halakhah, some homosexual experiences can sometimes be had both in a Jewish camp and in a yeshiva dormitory. The popular campaign for recognition of homosexual orientation as unchangeable complicates the already difficult choice for a teenager to resist the numerous temptations that appear in various situations. Unable to discuss the situation with adults, he may decide that he is homosexual. A calm, open, and non-judgmental discussion of the situation with a spiritual figure can enable a person to turn the page and return to a healthy, productive life.

It is not our goal to provide a detailed strategy for “halachically approved” help for students suffering from homosexual fantasies. Developing a detailed therapeutic methodology cannot be the task of a religious consultant to whom a student should turn with a similar problem. However, he must be prepared, firstly, to calm and encourage the teenager, and secondly, to refer him to a qualified specialist who can also take into account specific halachic problems.

When publishing the article “Initial religious Counseling for Male Orthodox Adolescent Homosexuals,” three rather important paragraphs were released. In this regard, we request another opportunity to briefly highlight some issues.

The rabbi and/or religious counselor are clearly responsible for the religious “well-being” of their students. However, they are no less obliged to monitor their physical health. A person who has had some homosexual experience is considered to be at risk of (mortal) infection with AIDS and therefore needs immediate medical advice. Although certain behavior is clearly prohibited by halakhah, it must be kept in mind that therapy in this case requires quite a lot of time. It is essential that the student's health is not jeopardized during this time, but it is not possible to order (or expect) the prohibited practice to cease immediately (although, of course, this is the most desirable option). The rabbi or consultant should be well aware of this. And therefore, part of their responsibility is to provide the student with all the necessary medical information, primarily regarding how to protect themselves from sexually transmitted diseases. (This applies equally to a heterosexual student who is promiscuous.)

Any successful therapy requires that some kind of compromise option be found during the treatment period (it does not matter whether we are talking about homosexuality, masturbation or breaking the Sabbath). In our case, if we offer complete abstinence as the only alternative, this may discourage the student, who will find the burden too much to bear and will despair. Therefore, it is necessary to discuss some kind of compromise version of homosexual behavior that does not turn into sodomy itself (“mishkav zakhar”). Of course, the compromise should be kept to a minimum so as not to turn post factum into ad initio. However, discussion of this issue, although necessary, does not have to happen immediately during the first meeting.

In whatever religious sphere a person has a conflict, it is necessary to focus, first of all, on fulfilling all those commandments that a person is able to fulfill. One of the most important principles a teenager must learn is that the Torah does not require us to be perfect, but rather to strive for perfection.

Whatever the outcome for a person’s struggle with his own sexual impulse, each of us is something incomparably greater than his sexual desire. Therefore, although everyone may stumble, at the end of days, not only Judgment awaits all people, but also Love.