Fear of calling strangers on the phone. Fear of telephone conversations - what to do

Hold the phone, I've already dialed the number!!!

Hello, Megapolis company, hello?..

Hello, uh...

Don’t torment a newbie, he won’t answer anything, and if he tries, the only question is which phrase he will fall down on. This article will be useful both to call center managers and to novice operators themselves. Fear is overcome by struggle, it does not happen quickly, so you should be patient so as not to be afraid to call and sell.

START - warm calls

Adaptation is what accompanies a person in learning any matter. Adaptation goes hand in hand with stress, and together this couple will squeeze the juice out of anyone. The smart approach is to simplify Negative influence aggressive environment when learning a craft. As a rule, people are afraid that they are not expected at the other end of the line. Conclusion - you need to call the databases where they are waiting for you. In any telemarketing department or contact center there is always a front line of work in the field of warm calls, but someone is pushing the sales funnel?!

The first warm calls to people interested in a conversation will let the person understand that a telephone conversation is not always negative, sometimes subscribers are waiting for a call and are very happy about the operator’s information. Warm call therapy is optimally carried out over 3 to 7 working days. “Bayaka” must wake up for several days with the awareness of his new activity and get used to the hitherto unfamiliar habitat, as they say, “you have to sleep with it.”

Sit in the same trench and overcome the fear of cold calling

The next stage is to understand that there is such a thing as conversion. For every 100 calls there are always 1-2 successful ones. The problem is that when a person tries alone to overcome his fear of cold sales, he cannot with a cold mind realize the obviousness of the existence of successful calls. This is because it is psychologically difficult for the operator; any new task is exhausting and deprives him of sober thinking. Give him a chance to come to realization through passive observation of professionals. To do this, you need to sit for 2-3 days next to an experienced specialist and listen to how, out of hundreds of calls, sales are made, albeit only a few! If you do this, then when you get on the line, a person will think not about what he will not succeed, but about how many positive responses he will have for a hundred calls. This is the second step in defeating fear, and without it it can sometimes be unbearably difficult.

“I’m a robot and I don’t have a heart” - script by heart, phone in hand

There is a proven Chinese approach - copy tirelessly until you start to get a quality product. We all remember what things looked like made in China 20 years ago - then it was impossible to wear clothes for a long period, and to play with toys for more than 1 day, everything was torn and broken. Time has passed, and the quality of the product has changed significantly.

It’s the same in the operator’s business, but it takes weeks, not years. Having learned the script properly, you need to call, call and call again. After 100-200 calls, it makes sense to make your own adjustments to the script that correspond to the realities of the project. At this stage of the fight against fear, the method of treating the operator like a soldier works well - you are a robot, you should not think, others will think for you, call until your ear turns red and your tongue goes numb. At this time, confidence and understanding of the essence of the quantitative approach is gained - more calls, more conversion. Monotonous performance of one's duties without emotional perception of the result of work develops a habit, which in turn trains the psyche.

1000 calls – first conclusions

The first month of work is not only indicative as a calendar period, but also because about 1000 calls are made during this time. Along with the conversion numbers, fear disappears for most operators, giving way to awareness and the first conclusions. A small percentage of people begin to get excited about victories, business communication skills and, of course, sales bonuses. They are future telesales professionals.

Most simply get rid of fear and agree to continue going with the flow. This gray mass will then form the basis of the call center team, later it will get better and will show a satisfactory, unremarkable, but some kind of result.

AND last group those tested by fear are those who failed. There is no need to continue to break yourself, this is the destruction of the personality and budget of the call center. Further training of such characters will be accompanied by costs for the company and nervous disorders for the people themselves.

Analysis, creativity, END of career

So we said goodbye to the incorrigible “tales”, what next... Everything is somewhat more positive than it seems.

The majority who prefer to go with the flow will eventually get rid of fear, and then, without reaching the heights, they will work for 1-2 years in the operator’s room and go with the flow of their labor activity at a new place of work. During these two years, their fear will replace indifference to the interlocutor, and the cold calm on the phone will be born from the routine of daily work in a call center.

Those who are interested in cold calling will, within a few months, come to the process of honing their filigree sales skills. Fear will be replaced by interest in identifying the psychotypes of interlocutors. Soon, with great enthusiasm, they will determine the type of subscriber on the fly, and implement the corresponding branch of the script or own equipment cold sales.

Why you shouldn't be afraid of cold calling

Today, business trainers never tire of repeating: get pleasure from calls, but how can you get it when, in fact, you impose yourself on people who are already angry and tired without you. There is such a thing, if not for the stubborn facts - cold calls work, and for those who are not afraid of them in the first place.

Why do cold calls work? Yes, because in the general population there is always a percentage of those who desperately need the service right now and today. Don't believe me? Ask yourself what do you need now? Put money on your phone, deliver pizza for lunch, do a coursework, do your hair, maybe hang a picture at home or fix a faucet?.. Something is definitely required, the only question is whether there will be a caller with an offer to solve your problem. Become that caller, solve someone else’s problem, this person has been waiting for you!

Those who start cold calling sooner or later become interested in . How to do this and how to get contacts of the head of the company at any cost, read in the previous article.

Illustration copyright Getty Images

Do you panic when you hear your phone ringing? Terrified at the mere thought of calling someone? The observer knows what to do.

Today we rarely part with mobile phone, but many people still experience a genuine and deep fear of phone calls.

Telephobia, recognized as a type of social anxiety disorder, affects people of different generations and from different countries.

Those who suffer from telephobia can comfortably give a speech in front of a huge room full of strangers or send dozens of text messages a day, but shudder in horror when they have to make a simple phone call.

"For many people, talking on the phone is a special complex look communication,” says Jill Eisenstadt, vice president of Joyable, an online counseling company. “You need to think quickly and respond immediately to what the other person is saying.”

You need to think quickly about everything and immediately respond to the words of your interlocutor

Modern technologies, which created conditions for indirect communication, in to a certain extent mask the problem of telephobia. As a result, it becomes more difficult to detect, and therefore there are no accurate data on the prevalence of telephobia.

However, fear of talking on the phone can have an extremely negative impact on productivity and labor mobility.

“Some of our clients fail to achieve success in their careers because they are afraid to communicate with other people,” says Eisenstadt. “They avoid conversations until the last minute.”

Stupid look

Telephobia as a phenomenon arose long before the advent of smartphones.

George Dudley and Shannon Goodson wrote the book The Psychology of Fear: Why People Are Afraid to Call Customers back in 1986.

And in 1929, the British poet and writer Robert Graves wrote in his autobiography that he developed a deep fear of using the telephone after being wounded during the First World War.

It's not about the phone itself, it's about communication

Eisenstadt is familiar with more recent cases of telephobia. The phone makes her patients anxious for a variety of reasons.

“It’s not about the phone itself, but about communication,” she says. “For some clients, talking on the phone is an extra risk of blurting out something unnecessary.”

One 27-year-old Eisenstadt patient, who works in sales, is afraid that she will start to stammer or pause too long in a conversation and thereby make herself look bad. at its best in front of clients and colleagues.

Another patient, a 52-year-old financial consultant, also worries about looking stupid on the phone.

Now she communicates with clients only by e-mail to be able to compose a competent answer and double-check it.

Sales trainer Jeff Shore says many sales professionals are afraid to make so-called cold calls because they don't want to seem intrusive to potential clients.

With the advent of telephone marketing, the telephone began to be seen as a nuisance that could disrupt a family dinner or distract a person from a favorite activity.

Shore says those he works with are afraid of irritating the person on the other end of the line.

"Sales people say, 'These calls are annoying and I don't want to get them or make them myself,'" he says.

Differences in cultural norms

According to Michael Landers, global director of Culture Crossing, which provides group and individual counseling on intercultural communication, in some cultures people are wary of making phone calls.

Fear of the phone different cultures closely related to the fear of rejection

“The Japanese, for example, find it difficult to decide to have a conversation with a stranger - they are afraid of offending the interlocutor or losing face,” explains Landers.

In Indonesia, where the average person sends about a hundred text messages a day, this method of communication is simply considered more convenient than phone calls.

According to Landers, fear of the phone across cultures is closely related to the fear of being rejected, regardless of whether the issue being discussed is setting up a meeting or closing a deal.

“I don’t know of any culture that welcomes refusal,” he says. “However, everyone’s understanding of refusal is different.”

Acquire a skill

To help their patients cope with their fear of the phone, many psychotherapists use cognitive behavioral therapy methods.

Eisenstadt asks patients to describe the anxious thoughts they have about their phone conversations and discusses worst-case scenarios with them.

"We help them understand that it's not scary or dangerous," she says.

Over time, they get into practice and start making small calls - for example, ordering pizza.

He also advises understanding for yourself how the caller can be useful to the person on the other end of the line.

“The most important thing is to have the right motivation,” he says. When a sales professional understands how he can help a potential client, it becomes easier for him to make those cold calls.

"When you discover that your worst fears are not realized, your perception of cold calling changes," Shore explains.

And if a person himself does not understand what the benefit of his call is, there is no point in calling at all.

Telephobia is most often studied in sales professionals, but it affects people in a variety of professions, from journalists and public relations specialists to secretaries, lawyers, consultants and many other workers who have to receive and make calls as part of their job duties.

Telephobia can even prevent you from getting a job if a job candidate panics at the thought of a telephone interview.

Sometimes managers have to adapt to the habits of their employees.

Molly Irani is the Director of Hospitality at Chai Pani Restaurant Group, which owns restaurants in Asheville, North Carolina and Atlanta, Georgia.

She says the company employs 180 people, but Irani can count the number of people who answer her call on one hand.

She says she's gotten used to texting employees, many of whom are under 35.

Irani understands his colleagues' dislike of the phone. A call can take you by surprise when you are simply not ready to talk to anyone.

She says things have changed, and her younger employees can avoid the awkward situations that arise on the phone thanks to numerous alternative means of communication.

“Many of us have experienced this resentment, but we had no choice but to overcome it,” says Irani. “We have acquired this skill, but the new generation does not have to do it.”

Five ways to cope with telephobia

• Think about the worst case scenario - usually things are not as bad as you think.
• Think about why you need a call - to inform a client or get important information?
• Think in advance about how you will start and end the conversation - ending a conversation gracefully is often the hardest thing to do.
• To practice, start with small calls that don't involve major risks - for example, calling a food delivery service.
• Remember that no one expects you to be perfect in everything.

For a new business consultant, making phone calls is a new thing. Our brain is designed in such a way that at the level of instinct it protects the owner from everything unknown and includes fears. Fear of talking about yourself and offering business is normal. What we are afraid of seems prohibitively difficult, and what is difficult we put off until later and do not do.

Like at school, remember? Lessons later, prepare for exams later. Undone work accumulates, the conscience gnaws, the strength of intention weakens... The business ends. I won’t tell you how to correctly write a script and make a call. I will share my secrets on how to stop being afraid to make calls. The mentor says that I do it well. Everything is very simple.

Think of calls like this: “I want” - “I can” - “I act” - “I receive”

Let's see how it works? One day, a colleague gave me a magnet with a wonderful cup of coffee on it and the inscription “I can’t be stopped if I can start.” We need to take the first step. Phew... that word is needed again. Who needs? I need. What for? I don't need it, I'm afraid to call. Instead of “I want”, “I must” was imprinted in the subconscious from childhood. And who needs a child not to go where he shouldn’t? A child and a citizen must be obedient, and what he wants is of no interest to anyone. But that’s what interests you! What are your dreams? What about the goals? When the goal is through “I want”, you get drive and buzz, and the person is realized. a big problem. Same with calls.

Before making calls again, take 1 minute to remember your “I want” and say it

Do you really want change? Or will it work as before? Friends, believe that you are not the person you used to think of yourself as. Every person is a diamond whose light is meant to shine on the world. Sit down to make calls only with this mindset to yourself. You are unique. The second setting is that you clearly understand what you want and remember this always when you pick up the phone. Remember about the carrot on the fishing rod in front of the donkey? And that’s it, the donkey wants a carrot and runs. If you want it, then others want it too, all that’s left is to find each other. “I want” is sorted out.

Let's deal with "I can"

If we were at a training session now, and I asked you (I was once asked): “Raise your hand, who thinks that they cannot manage the Gazprom company?” Would you pick it up or not? I picked it up. It's about about our limiting beliefs. Limiting beliefs are thoughts that hinder our actions. They are like a cage that we have driven ourselves into and can no longer escape. Can. We change our worldview. Unfortunately, they are also from previous life experiences.

Since childhood, we are taught to see only disadvantages in a world of pros. Change the limiting beliefs “No one needs this” to the supportive ones “People are looking for opportunities and therefore are waiting for my call.” Find your limiting beliefs, think about them carefully, change them and write them down. The results of this work will surprise you. You will be in excellent resource condition. Calls will no longer be a problem because further actions become conscious and focused on fulfilling their dreams. Don't hesitate for a minute, act.

Now about “Acting”

There is a third secret here and it is to love the process. Everyone has hobbies or hobbies, some like to skate, some like to swim, sew, spend time with a child, or whatever, we are all different. I like running. Why are we doing this? We love to do this, at these moments we are happy. It is when we are looking for our key people that we move our business. The business is moving, there is a result, and we are happy.

Do you want to be happy? Take action. When you are going for a long time, return to “I want” and “I can”, and also, before calling according to the script, just call to a good person(friend, colleague, loved one) and just start talking, end the conversation with a smile and start making business calls with a smile. Do it, get results, and you will feel good!

Working as a telephone operator, no matter where, in a call center or as an operator at home, absolutely everyone experiences real stress at the beginning of their career. The voice is trembling, the words are confused, the hands are shaking.

Fear of people. This state cannot be called anything else. A person calmly communicates with neighbors, passers-by, and with everyone, but not on the phone. That is, on the phone with a friend we can chatter for hours, but with strangers we simply get stuck. This is a consequence of the real fear of communication.

Fears, unfortunately, are a real and even natural thing. However, of course, you can be afraid of sharks, bandits, heights, and then there’s a PHONE! There is a text in front of you that needs to be voiced, dial the number and say what you need. Moreover, on the “other side of the line” there is a person whom you have never seen, and will not see at all, and by and large you absolutely do not care what mood he is in there. But no! It's scary and that's all. How is that fear public speaking , only your legs don’t give way, and that’s because you’re sitting on a chair.

By the way, psychologists compare the fear of calling strangers with the news of the loss loved one. That is, approximately the same psychological load. Every online operator goes through all these tests. It is clear that no one will leave you to be torn to pieces, that you will be trained, but you will need to cope with your first fear yourself.

How to overcome the fear of talking on the phone

1. The first pancake will still be lumpy, so no matter how it turns out, we pick up the handset or mobile phone and call. Overcoming fear with action. You'll see - a few calls and you're back to normal. You will gain self-confidence and fear of the unknown will evaporate.
2. You need to understand that the interlocutors will be different and there will also be boors, so you need to learn not to “wrap up” the bad impression of the conversation, but to throw it away.
3. And in this regard, the number of calls matters. The more you call, the more confident you feel. Failed negotiations are not the end of the world, it’s just one more little experience and that’s it!
4. To avoid being “knocked out” during a conversation, prepare for it in advance. Research the topic, and even if the script doesn't answer a possible question, prepare for it anyway. Feel like a “fish in water” and fear of communication will dissipate like mist.
5. You need to start your day with those calls that are less important and as you gain a sense of confidence, move on to difficult calls. That is, we give ourselves the opportunity to come to our senses, “tune in” a little, and then, with full dedication, we rehabilitate ourselves.
6. There will be rudeness, arrogance, and open aggression. Well, it’s like using public transport during rush hour. You came out of it and immediately forgot about it, because other thoughts are already occupying you, and other things are waiting for you. Same with calls. Well, his wife doesn’t like your interlocutor, that’s his problem! We politely said goodbye and moved on.
7. If your task is not easy cold call, but a sale or some other offer, then be prepared to often hear refusals. The word “no” will be an integral part of the conversation. That’s exactly how you perceive these very refusals as an absolutely normal process, and not at all the end of the world. And know that every “No” is just another step towards a full “Yes”. As statistics say, to hear one “yes”, you need to go through a hundred “no”.
8. Learn to enjoy talking on the phone with strangers. It’s clear that now it seems to you that this is completely unrealistic, but rest assured that this process can be very entertaining. From many dialogues with clients, we create anecdotes, and with pleasure, in any company, we retell many situations to the general laughter.

So we won’t be happy anymore when the other side of the line is busy or they don’t answer the phone.

We need to understand why a phone call is needed?

In many areas of business, a phone call is the basis of success (strange, but true).

Any telephone call has some purpose - it could be obtaining some information, setting up a meeting, making a sale, etc. so it is important to make this call correctly.

How to make a call correctly

To do this you need:

1. Be positive ( good mood“can be heard” on the phone), if the mood is so-so, work on it, it won’t take much time (Internet: anecdotes, jokes, gossip - whatever your soul asks for).
2. Watch the intonation of your voice. When talking on the phone, the interlocutor does not see us; he cannot form an impression of us using the organs of vision, touch, and smell. We can only please him through our intonation. By the way, he receives 86% of the meaning of our message based on our intonation and 14% from our words.So with our voice we not only influence perception, but also create the mood of the interlocutor.
3. When talking to a client, be sure to smile! A smile, like a good mood, can be heard over the phone.
4. Never interrupt your interlocutor mid-sentence. Let him speak, learn to listen, and at the same time mentally repeat his words and phrases in your head. This will make it easier for you to understand and remember what your interlocutor says.
5. Try to adapt to the speed of speech of the interlocutor. It has been proven that a person perceives information at the same speed with which he speaks. So adapt to the pace of his speech as much as possible, create for him comfortable conditions when communicating with you.
6. Do not be distracted by anything during a telephone conversation! And especially don’t chew or sip coffee. Focus only on the client, his mood, his questions, etc. Show the client that you value their time.

Of course, the call function is no longer as important on a phone as it used to be; you can send messages and chat on social networks. However, it is still impossible to completely avoid calls. There are always situations in which you need to call, for example, sometimes an interview takes place over the phone, sometimes you need to notify you of being late. The number of people for whom this is becoming a problem is constantly growing.

Unusual problem

For some, calls are a completely normal situation. Others are tormented by the fear of the telephone, they find it difficult to pick up the phone, they rehearse what they will say in advance, dial the number with shaking hands and suffer from panic fear while listening to the dial tone. This is fine! Psychologists explain that hating calls does not mean problems with communication. There are people who are fine with communication, they are simply afraid of calls. In addition, the number of such people is increasing, and the number of calls that need to be made per day is decreasing. This means that the situation is not so critical. One way or another, the phone is still needed for a variety of everyday activities. It’s worth overcoming your fear, but first you need to understand where it comes from.

You don't know what the other person is thinking

You may have heard that more than ninety percent of communication occurs nonverbally. These are not entirely accurate statistics, but the idea is correct: words are only a small part of how we communicate our thoughts. Many other features also influence, for example, facial expression, body language, gestures. All this can only be seen when you talk face to face. When you talk on the phone, only your voice is heard. This may cause nervous tension in some people. Sometimes a completely harmless phrase can seem tense, although in fact it was said with a smile.

Difficulties of perception

On the phone, it is more difficult not only to understand what the other person is saying, but also to feel confident that you know that you are understood. When we talk, we use different facial expressions. For example, raised or furrowed eyebrows can show that you are paying attention. This is not visible on the phone, and the conversation has to be conducted at random, not knowing whether everything is in order. This can lead to awkwardness.

You have limited time

Another reason why calls scare people is time constraints. When you write messages, there are no non-verbal components in them either. But time is on your side, you can collect your thoughts, edit your text, think about it before sending it. When you're on the phone you don't have that option, you have to think on your feet and every word matters. Of course, you can correct your words and apologize, but the effect is not the same, you have already expressed the wrong thought. All pauses also gain great importance. When communicating face to face, you can see when a person is thinking and distracted. When you're on the phone, any pause is scary and makes you wonder if something is wrong. Also, calls take longer than messages. You can exchange messages while doing something else, but making a call requires your full attention. Because of this, the phone call begins to be perceived as a problem that you just have to put up with.

You feel like you're being judged

In a sense, you are right. If you've ever made a call with other people, you know how awkward it can be to talk while someone listens to you. When you talk face to face, strangers perceive both of you equally. If you are talking on the phone, all attention is focused only on you. You are the only person who speaks, so this situation is inevitable. In addition, researchers have found that half-dialogue, a conversation in which you only hear one side, seems more distracting than a normal conversation. However, sometimes the reason is not the people around you, but the person you are talking to on the phone. Nobody likes to be the subject of judgment from others. Humans are very social because they depend on those around them for survival, so being assessed naturally causes enormous stress. This is the same process as when speaking in public, interviewing for a job, and other similar situations. People are afraid that they will not be able to cope with the task.

Too much self-control

The problem with assessment is especially acute in the case of a conversation with a partner. A person is afraid that he will upset or let down his chosen one, that the conversation will somehow affect the relationship. After all, if the conversation with the help desk agent was awkward, you will never hear from that person again. In conversations with loved ones, everything is different. Because of this, a person begins to control himself too much, consciously adjusting his behavior to the current situation. If you control yourself too much, the conversation may become even more awkward and the problem will escalate. You will focus only on yourself and your behavior, trying to avoid an awkward situation. As a result, you do not pay attention to the interlocutor, and it becomes difficult to maintain a coherent conversation.

You just rarely talk on the phone

This simplest reason, but it also occurs more often. Many people rarely talk on the phone these days. Lack of experience causes anxiety. People understand what messages are and what emoticons to use, but communication on the phone is unfamiliar to them, and they simply do not know the rules associated with it. It's like a pensioner trying to start using social network: He would be embarrassed because he doesn’t know what the essence of what is happening. When you talk to a person face to face, you use intuition. Talking on the phone requires knowledge of certain etiquette. You need to know how to properly move from introducing yourself to the essence of the conversation, where to pause, and how to end the conversation. All of this takes some practice.

How to cope with your fear?

Unfortunately for many, the best way Coping with the fear of phone calls is a regular practice. Think of it as a way to practice: the more you call, the easier it becomes. Approach calls with a specific perspective, strategically transform what you think before the call. For example, if you are afraid of disturbing someone, think about the fact that a really busy person simply won’t pick up the phone. If you are afraid of getting confused in your words, think about your mistake in advance. Understand that your interlocutor spoke not only with you during the day and has probably already heard reservations before you. What seems like a huge problem to you won't even attract the attention of another person. After that, you can try setting specific goals for yourself. For example, try calling someone and talking normally for five minutes. Don't set a goal that is too vague, such as planning to simply not sound too excited on the phone. This cannot be assessed objectively. The key to success is to start small and gradually move towards more complex tasks. If you're afraid to talk, start with calls that have a clearer, more formal structure that you can write down a draft of in advance. Try saying some key phrases out loud. In this case, you can easily dial the number and start a conversation with confidence.