And if there are no special desires.

The rib did not accept: she was able to care, but not love. My husband turned out to be an alcoholic initially, but he managed to become a person close to me. I became attached to him, and then I fell in love. after 2 births, she suffered sequentially: against the background of hormones - weight gain from 51 to 92 kg, stroke, gouty polyarthritis, weakened immunity, polyvalent allergy, stage 3 chronic renal failure began. HUSBAND LEAVED. I’M TIRED OF LIVING I DON’T REALLY WANT TO, WHAT TO BE?

Hello Olga! The fact that you list and complain about your fate will NOT change anything - you need to understand what happened in your life, what decisions you made and why? (what guided their adoption), and now only you bear responsibility for these decisions - yes, it is very difficult to find yourself in a situation where you need help and support loved one, and when no one is around, but there are only many, many problems! But - you can take control of everything yourself, and not let everything around you take its course! You made the decision to have 2 children (it’s somehow strange that you did NOT want one) - and then why? What motivated you - what role did you put into this child - that he would force his husband to drink and come to his senses, that he would become the father and husband you wanted to see in him? and then what did you doom this child to - after all, this is NOT his responsibility and in the end it turned out to be not a solution and did not lead to anything - only on the contrary, it became a test for the husband, who could not stand it and left - but so, maybe it will to the best - no matter how strange it may sound now! It was you who saw in him what you wanted to see, it was you who needed closeness and support and you projected it onto your husband, receiving it in him - but was it really there or was it just a ghostly illusion that fell apart? rather, this is exactly what happened... and now you are left with yourself - and you don’t know what to think and do - because you have lost touch with yourself! and this is exactly what needs to be restored - to look for yourself, your sides, your resources! start by setting small goals and working towards them (start with something simple - get up in the morning and feed the children! - why not a goal that you can cope with! and not only cope, but also praise yourself for it!). As for the second child - why can’t you accept him? unwanted? from that husband and does he serve you as a constant reminder of him? blame him for all the misfortunes - is he to blame for this???? - what do you see in him? but nevertheless, it remains a child - and first of all, your child, it was your choice and you are responsible for it, and not vice versa! After all, he feels everything that his mother does not accept, that she does not love, and can you imagine what he is experiencing - that he is in a state of uncertainty and fear, acts as a buffer, what will ultimately await him, what will this lead to? You already adult woman who will be able to understand and see herself in the role of a mother - and how to carry it and how to feel in it! It is possible that there may be more problems here and much deeper - it is possible that it is worth sorting out the relationships in your parental family - after all, it is this source that primarily contributes to the formation of both personality and qualities, and especially roles - and this also determines your life choices - after all You knew that your husband was an alcoholic, but you hoped that something would change on its own and you were in a state of codependency (not attachment!) - why? There really are a lot of questions that need to be sorted out - of course, it’s better to do this in person - so if you decide, you can safely contact me - call or write - I’ll be glad to help you figure it out!

Olga, good afternoon.

It seems to me that if you really didn’t want to live, you wouldn’t have written here. But you still chose to write. This means the choice has already been made. And always, when a choice is made, it is important to understand why this is being done, for whom? For what? And as a rule, life for the sake of others - for the sake of a child, for the sake of a husband, for the good of someone else, sacrificing oneself - is actually the same slow death, only with a touch of pathos: “I’m sacrificing my life, I feel bad, but they Fine". In my opinion, truly happy people live primarily for themselves.

Everything that happened to you speaks of your high survival rate - you can add “despite” everywhere. Despite the difficult birth - You are alive, despite the many listed diseases - You live, despite your husband’s alcoholism - You are in a relationship. You went through all these tests and at some point you lost your meaning, this is a turning point, a crisis, and it’s probably time to discover some new meanings, your own, and not imposed by society, for the sake of which you continue to live and gradually recover. What have you really always wanted? How do you express yourself in life? What dreams did you have before this crisis? If you didn’t have a husband, children, or anything at all, what would you do? How would YOUR life be structured? Ponder these questions. Perhaps you will come up with something interesting and new. Good luck.

Hello Olga! I don’t really want to live, but I have to live! We must live and seek joy, seek desires. Your desires. Just live, despite all these diagnoses. Despite the fear, despite the disappointment. There should still be joy and meaning in life. We need to look for them. You can search in the past, in the present, and in the future. You can search even in fantasy and imagination. Just want it, and there will be people who will help and support you with this. After all, there is meaning in both suffering and joy. We should definitely try to find him.

Help me, please, I don’t know when and how this happened, most likely it didn’t happen in one day. I lost all desire to live. no, not even that. I don't want to die at all. I just have practically no desires. I simply exist. My only wish is to be left alone. Phone calls and visits from friends irritate me. I do not want anything. A friend recommended shopping. But I not only don’t want to, but I don’t see the point in it. I don't want new things or hairdressers. I can’t get out of this state on my own. It's getting scary. I individual entrepreneur, I abandoned everything, sometimes I force myself to go somewhere. That's all. I understand with my mind that I will have to clear things up later, but I can’t break through some kind of internal armor. What should I do? Help.

Svetlana, Novokuznetsk, Russia, 40 years old

Psychologist's answer:

Hello Svetlana.

Maybe, we're talking about about depression, the causes of which are varied. Physical, sexual or emotional abuse, abuse, dependence, for example, on food, drugs, alcohol. Conflicts, experiences of death and loss of significant loved ones. Genetics - family history (relatives suffering from depression), divorce, loss of income, work, other personal problems. Problems like social isolation, serious illnesses. Sometimes depression coexists with an underlying illness or is a reaction to an illness. You need an individual consultation with a psychologist in person or in absentia (Skype).

Sincerely, Lipkina Arina Yurievna.

By making wishes, we hope that they will come true in the near future. To make your dreams come true, you need to follow several simple rules, which will help you immediately get everything you want.

Probably every person has made a wish at least once and looked forward to its fulfillment. When this wait becomes too long, we lose hope that the dream will ever come true. In order for fate to give you a gift and make your cherished dream come true, you need to make an effort on your part. Many people believe that you can get what you want simply by really wanting it, but often this is not enough. The site team brings to your attention several main reasons that hinder the fulfillment of your dreams.

How to make a wish correctly

Sometimes we make a mistake even when we formulate our desire. For your dreams to come true, it is necessary for the Universe to understand what exactly you want to receive - only in this case will it respond to your requests. In order for your plans to become reality, you need to write a letter in which you will tell about everything that you dream of getting, but it is advisable to do this in accordance with a few simple rules.

Describe the details of your desire in more detail. Of course, you don't need to describe the exact day and time you want to get it, but you should write down the details. For example, if you want to go on a trip, you can specify the place, how you want to get there, what time of year, and so on. It will take you a little time, but the result will not be long in coming.

Avoid the particle "not". When talking about your dream, avoid denial. If you want to get rich, write about it or specify what amount you dream of. There is no need to write that you “don’t want to live in poverty.”

Voice your dream out loud several times. After you have talked about everything you want to get in your letter, you need to say it out loud again. Thus, you send your desire to the Universe, where it will be decided whether it will be fulfilled.

You need to believe in your dreams coming true. If we dream about something, we must certainly believe in it, otherwise positive result will not be. Imagine every day that tomorrow you will get what you want, and be sure: one fine day it will definitely happen.

Purchasesymbol of your desire. Buy something that will make you think of your dream when you look at it. It could be a coin, a photograph of a place or person, or even your drawing, where you depict what you want. This way your dream will always be with you.

Thanks to these simple rules soon you will be without special effort get everything you dream of. The most important thing is to approach this matter responsibly and do not miss a single action.

Why wishes don't come true

If the method described above did not bring a positive result, then there is a reason that does not allow your cherished dream to come true. Once you get rid of it, you will soon be able to get what you want.

Your dream can cause harm to another person. Every person has enemies and even enemies. However, for some, a feeling of hatred can overcome reason, and then a person begins to wish the worst for others. Don’t denigrate your dream with negativity; get rid of negative thoughts and emotions. Your wish will be fulfilled much faster if you want a truce with your enemy.

Your dream must be real. Do not forget that the Universe cannot work miracles, so the desire to resurrect the deceased or go to the future cannot be fulfilled. For your dreams to come true, they must be real and accessible.

Think about whether you really want your wish to come true. If your dream has not come true for a long time, perhaps you don’t really want it to come true. Before you make a wish, think carefully about whether you will be happy if it comes true.

Don't make too many wishes. Many of us want to get everything at once, but this is not always possible. If you want your dreams to come true as quickly as possible, then you shouldn’t make a whole wish list. Focus your attention on one thing, and after what you want appears in your life, you can direct all your energy to achieving new goals.

Make an effort on your part. Many people believe that no action is required to make a wish come true. This is the main mistake. If you dream of making a lot of money, you won't do it while unemployed, and if you dream of meeting your soulmate, you will have to communicate with members of the opposite sex at least sometimes. Even small actions on your part will help you get results faster.

Lack of faith in the fulfillment of dreams. Probably this reason is one of the most important. People describe their desire, even model it in their minds, but at the same time they often admit that it is just a dream and cannot be fulfilled. However, the power of our thoughts and faith play an important role in getting what we want.

The desire should be aimed only at your life. Of course, each of us dreams that our loved ones are happy, and sometimes this is our main desire. Of course, love for your family can sometimes work wonders, but your dream should concern you first and foremost. If you want to ask for the health of your parents or for the happy future of your children, then you should not focus on one family member: ask that all your loved ones always be happy and healthy, and then your wish will be fulfilled.

Dreams are an integral part of our life. Since childhood, we have dreamed that all our wishes would come true, but, unfortunately, it does not always happen the way we want. Sometimes the biggest barrier to achieving what we want is the failures in our lives. By getting rid of them, you can change your life for the better. We wish you happiness and love, and don't forget to press the buttons and

I talk about how to achieve goals, make dreams come true, and many people write in response that they don’t want anything at all: they have neither goals nor dreams. Why does this happen?

1. LOW ENERGY LEVEL.
To even begin to dream, let alone make dreams come true, you need free resources. And if your moral and physical strength and time are only enough to go to work or sit with the children, somehow cook food and “forget yourself” on social networks, then you cannot even think about it, “you have no strength.”

What to do: work to increase energy. I already wrote about this in.

2. YOU WERE FORBIDDEN TO WISH AND DREAM.
Some were brought up in such attitudes that, they say, it is bad to be an egoist, there are “objective” useful things, so do them, but there is no time to dream and have your head in the clouds, to do stupid things, and this is the lot of lazy people, good for nothing. And now such a child wants to draw, and his mother says: “There’s no need to waste time, go wash the dishes.” It’s interesting that a mother may generally not be against pursuing her dreams. And I just wanted to make a hardworking person out of a child, to completely stifle laziness. But these emotional statements are absorbed into a person’s subconscious, and he begins to think that being good means working like a bee from morning to evening, and you cannot sit down and do anything for yourself, you endlessly need to please others in order to be loved.

I had this, at the beginning of my marriage I couldn’t lie down on the sofa when my husband was home, I was terribly ashamed, I broke myself for a long time to learn to relax and allow myself to lay out a puzzle in the evening, instead of doing something useful.

What to do: start allocating time for your “useless” hobbies, reading, walking just like that... Allow yourself to do all this, even if the house is a mess and the children are not excellent students.

And the same thing about money, many were scolded in childhood for spending on nonsense, now a person cannot buy anything for himself - everything for the house, everything for the house. And if you don’t spend money on yourself, then why want something? Pointless.

3. YOU DO NOT BELIEVE YOU CAN ACHIEVE ANYTHING, EVEN MINIMUM.
I tried it a hundred times and it didn’t work. The weight stays the same, the house is still the same mess, there is no more money, no self-organization, children in cartoons, she herself is always on social networks and TV series. And you give up on yourself: nothing will work out anyway. And here, too, there is no point in wishing. Well, do you want a vacation at sea and new renovation, a new wardrobe or style training, your own business, but what is the point of these desires? All the same, it won’t fall from the sky. All that remains is to prohibit yourself from desires: “you want a lot, you will get little” and continue to think that nothing can be changed, that you are not able to, there is a crisis now, and life is hard for everyone, not just you.

What to do: find at least something minimal that you want and organize it yourself. As a teenager, I remember writing lists of what I wanted to buy: mascara, a ring, new earrings, deodorant. And I persistently saved my pocket money, bought according to the list, crossed it off and cultivated the feeling “I can, and I can do everything!” And so you do: put your stationery in order, sort out your wardrobe, complete your paint-by-numbers, buy new spice jars. learn to fulfill the Creator’s Cycle: wanted - made it come true, and you will begin to have more and more new desires, because now you can!

Has it ever happened to you that you have no desires? What was this associated with and how were you chosen?