Who can be the godfather for a boy? Is it possible to refuse when invited to be godparents? — Can a pregnant woman be a godmother?

The child's mother and father do not have the right to be with him. It is worth noting that a husband and wife cannot be the adoptive parents of one child. Grandparents, uncles, aunts, brothers and other relatives are allowed to become godfathers or godmothers. It is recommended to take blood relatives as godparents. It is believed that the blood connection becomes stronger, since the adoptive parents are the second parents of the child.

Orthodox Christians

The recipient can be a person who is Orthodox Christian and constantly taking communion. Atheists and others religious directions They cannot be godparents. At the same time, it is mandatory to know the Creed and read it during the process of baptism. The recipient will also be required to read a daily prayer for the godson, since he is now responsible for the spiritual in the future. Regular temple attendance and education in Christian faith- an integral part of the duties of a godfather.

Age

People under the age of fourteen cannot become godparents, since they do not have the spiritual experience that would be required to instruct a newborn in the right faith.

Church servants

The restriction applies only to the father or mother of the child, who cannot be godparents to their own child. Also, spouses are not allowed to become spiritual parents of one child (if a couple is just planning to get married, they are also prohibited). Other relatives, including siblings of the child's parents, as well as their parents, may well take on the responsibilities of godparents. Also, you should not choose priests or monks or young children as godparents. Besides, adoptive parents they also cannot become godparents to their stepdaughters and stepsons.

By the way, in relation to godmothers there is a ban on the participation of ladies in the sacrament of Baptism during the period of monthly impurity.

What should godparents give to a child during the sacrament of Baptism?

It is usually stated that godparents must purchase for the rite of Baptism. Naturally, if a person who has been chosen for such an honorable position does not want to make a mistake, it is better to consult with his parents in advance.

Also, godparents often purchase silver ones for their godchildren. Such a gift is especially relevant if the baby is baptized at the age when his first tooth emerges.

The godfather should establish contact with his godson as much as possible. After all, he becomes not only the spiritual mentor of the baptized person, but also a kind of backup for the biological parents. After all, one of the responsibilities of a godfather is to raise a child in the event that the natural parents die or are unable, due to certain circumstances, to fulfill their parental responsibilities.

They are usually chosen from their closest friends or relatives.

Godparents should not be between husband and wife, or bride and groom. After baptism, a spiritual relationship arises between them (the funny words “godfather” and “godfather” are now about them!), and every sex life this is excluded.

Traditionally, they are asked to bring either two godparents of opposite sexes or a godparent of the same gender as the child. But this is just a tradition that goes back to the times when people were baptized as adults and naked, and there was something to be ashamed of.

In principle, a godfather is needed to instruct his godson in spiritual life, and he may well be of a different gender than the child.

Godparents: training

Some dioceses require that godparents, who have not regularly attended church before this mission, take short-term courses - nothing like an educational program for novice believers. Otherwise, what can they teach their godson or daughter?

As a rule, these are 2-3 classes conducted by the priests themselves or the most well-read parishioners, and during these classes you can ask any questions about the faith. Some churches limit themselves to issuing small books about the Sacrament.

There is no need for classes with church-going godparents; the priest will simply ask them if they know the commandments and ask them to read a few prayers.

In any case, you must agree that the person who takes responsibility for your baby must understand at least what it consists of. And in any case, the recipient must know the Creed prayer by heart in order to read it at the appropriate moment.

Godparents: rules

In church language, godparents are called godparents. They serve as guarantors of the infant's faith, and they are responsible for the child's spiritual upbringing. Subsequently, when the child reaches conscious age, they must explain to him the basics of the Orthodox faith. Only one godfather is considered necessary - a godfather for a boy and a godmother for a girl. However, according to long-established tradition, two godparents are often chosen for the baby - a man and a woman.

Godparents cannot be:

• Children (boy under 15 years old, girl under 13 years old)
• Natural parents of the baby
• Non-believers or people professing other religions.
• The godparents of the baby should not be married to each other or plan a union. But at the same time, the husband and wife are allowed to be the successors of different children of the same parents, but at different times.

What should godparents do?

Many mothers believe that godparents are now responsible for supporting the family economically. This is wrong. According to the canons, godparents are obliged to take care of the child’s upbringing. For example, godparents can refuse to buy an expensive toy or pay for a trip to the south, but they cannot refuse to help a mother travel with her child to church on the weekend. It is believed that for education godchild a person will be asked the same as for raising a relative.

... The baby's baptism is behind us. He has a big life ahead of him, in which we have a place equal to the father and mother who gave birth to him. Our work lies ahead, our constant desire to prepare our godson to ascend to spiritual heights. Where to begin?

Briefly:

• The godfather, or godfather, must be Orthodox Christian. A godfather cannot be a Catholic, a Muslim, or a very good atheist, because main responsibility godfather - to help the child grow into Orthodox faith.
• There must be a godfather church man, ready to regularly take his godson to church and monitor his Christian upbringing.
• After baptism has been performed, godfather cannot be changed, but if the godfather has changed greatly for the worse, the godson and his family should pray for him.
• Pregnant and unmarried women CAN to be godparents of both boys and girls - do not listen to superstitious fears!
• Godparents the child's father and mother cannot be, and husband and wife cannot be godparents of the same child. other relatives - grandmothers, aunts and even older brothers and sisters can be godparents.

Many of us were baptized in infancy and no longer remember how it happened. And then one day we are invited to become a godmother or godfather, or perhaps even more joyfully - our own child is born. Then we think once again about what the Sacrament of Baptism is, whether we can become godparents to someone and how we can choose godparents for our child.

Answers from Rev. Maxim Kozlov on questions about the responsibilities of godparents from the site "Tatiana's Day".

— I was invited to become godfather. What will I have to do?

- Being a godfather is both an honor and responsibility.

Godmothers and fathers, participating in the Sacrament, take responsibility for the little member of the Church, therefore they must be Orthodox people . Godparents, of course, should be a person who also has some experience of church life and will help the parents raise the baby in faith, piety and purity.

During the celebration of the Sacrament over the baby, the godfather (of the same gender as the child) will hold him in his arms, pronounce on his behalf the Creed and vows of renunciation of Satan and union with Christ.

The main thing in which the godfather can and should help and in which he undertakes an obligation is not only to be present at Baptism, but also then to help the one received from the font to grow, strengthen in church life, and in no case limit your Christianity only to the fact of Baptism. According to the teaching of the Church, for the way we took care of fulfilling these duties, we will be held accountable on the day of the last judgment, just as for raising our own children. Therefore, of course, the responsibility is very, very great.

- What should I give to my godson?

- Of course, you can give your godson a cross and a chain, and it doesn’t matter what they are made of; the main thing is that the cross should be of the traditional form accepted in Orthodox Church.

In the old days, there was a traditional church gift for christening - a silver spoon, which was called a “tooth gift”; it was the first spoon that was used when feeding a child, when he began to eat from a spoon.

— How can I choose godparents for my child?

— Firstly, godparents must be baptized, church-going Orthodox Christians.

The main thing is that the criterion for your choice of godfather or godmother is whether this person will subsequently be able to help you in a good, Christian upbringing received from the font, and not just in practical circumstances. And, of course, an important criterion should be the degree of our acquaintance and simply the friendliness of our relationship. Think about whether the godparents you choose will be the child’s church teachers or not.

— Is it possible for a person to have only one godparent?

- Yes it is possible. It is only important that the godparent be of the same gender as the godson.

— If one of the godparents cannot be present at the Sacrament of Baptism, is it possible to carry out the ceremony without him, but register him as a godparent?

— Until 1917, there was a practice of absentee godparents, but it was applied only to members of the imperial family, when they, as a sign of royal or grand-ducal favor, agreed to be considered the godparents of a particular baby. If we're talking about about a similar situation, do so, and if not, then it is perhaps better to proceed from generally accepted practice.

- Who can’t be a godfather?

- Of course, non-Christians - atheists, Muslims, Jews, Buddhists and so on - cannot be godparents, no matter how close friends the child’s parents are and no matter how pleasant people they are to talk to.

An exceptional situation - if there are no close people close to Orthodoxy, and you are confident in the good morals of a non-Orthodox Christian - then the practice of our Church allows one of the godparents to be a representative of another Christian denomination: Catholic or Protestant.

According to the wise tradition of the Russian Orthodox Church, a husband and wife cannot be godparents of the same child. Therefore, it is worth considering if you and the person with whom you want to start a family are invited to become adoptive parents.

- Which relative can be godfather?

- An aunt or uncle, grandmother or grandfather can become the adoptive parents of their little relatives. You just need to remember that a husband and wife cannot be godparents of one child. However, it’s worth thinking about this: our close relatives will still take care of the child and help us raise him. In this case, aren’t we depriving little man love and care, because he could have one or two more adult Orthodox friends to whom he could turn throughout his life. This is especially important during the period when the child seeks authority outside the family. At this time, the godfather, without in any way opposing himself to the parents, could become the person whom the teenager trusts, from whom he asks for advice even about what he does not dare to tell his loved ones.

— Is it possible to refuse godparents? Or baptize a child for the purpose of normal upbringing in the faith?

— In any case, a child cannot be rebaptized, because the Sacrament of Baptism is performed once, and no sins of either the godparents, or his natural parents, or even the person himself can cancel all those grace-filled gifts that are given to a person in the Sacrament of Baptism.

As for communication with godparents, then, of course, betrayal of faith, that is, falling away into one or another heterodox confession - Catholicism, Protestantism, especially falling into one or another non-Christian religion, atheism, a blatantly ungodly way of life - in essence speaks of that the person failed in his duty as a godmother. The spiritual union concluded in this sense in the Sacrament of Baptism can be considered dissolved by the godmother or godfather, and you can ask another church-going pious person to take a blessing from his confessor to take care of the godfather or godmother for this or that child.

“I was invited to be the girl’s godmother, but everyone tells me that the boy must be baptized first.” Is it so?

— The superstitious idea that a girl should have a boy as her first godson and that a baby girl taken from the font will become an obstacle to her subsequent marriage has no Christian roots and is an absolute fabrication that an Orthodox Christian woman should not be guided by.

— They say that one of the godparents must be married and have children. Is it so?

- On the one hand, the opinion that one of the godparents must be married and have children is a superstition, just like the idea that a girl who received a girl from the font will either not get married herself, or this will affect her fate some kind of imprint.

On the other hand, one can see a certain kind of sobriety in this opinion, if one does not approach it with a superstitious interpretation. Of course, it would be reasonable if people (or at least one of the godparents) who have sufficient life experience, who themselves already have the skill of raising children in faith and piety, and who have something to share with the baby’s physical parents, are chosen as godparents for the baby. And it would be highly desirable to look for such a godfather.

— Can a pregnant woman be a godmother?

— Church statutes do not prevent a pregnant woman from being a godmother. The only thing I urge you to think about is whether you have the strength and determination to share your love for to your own child with love for the adopted baby, will you have time left to take care of him, to advise the baby’s parents, to sometimes pray warmly for him, to bring him to the temple, to somehow be a good older friend. If you are more or less confident in yourself and circumstances allow, then nothing prevents you from becoming a godmother, but in all other cases, it may be better to measure seven times before cutting once.

About godparents

Natalia Sukhinina

“I recently got into a conversation with a woman on the train, or rather, we even got into an argument. She argued that godparents, like father and mother, are obliged to raise their godson. But I don’t agree: a mother is a mother, whoever she allows to interfere in the child’s upbringing. I also once had a godson when I was young, but our paths diverged long ago, I don’t know where he lives now. And she, this woman, says that now I will have to answer for him. Responsible for someone else's child? I can’t believe it..."

(From a letter from a reader)

It so happened, and my life paths veered in a completely different direction from my godparents. Where they are now, how they live, and whether they are alive at all, I don’t know. I couldn’t even remember their names; I was baptized a long time ago, in infancy. I asked my parents, but they themselves don’t remember, they shrugged their shoulders, they said that people lived next door at that time, and they were invited to be godparents.

Where are they now, what are their names, do you remember?

To be honest, for me this circumstance was never a flaw, I grew up and grew up without godparents. No, I was lying, it happened once, I was jealous. A school friend was getting married and received a gossamer-thin gold chain as a wedding gift. The godmother gave it to us, she boasted, who could not even dream of such chains. That's when I became jealous. If I had a godmother, maybe I would...

Now, of course, having lived and thought about it, I am very sorry about my random “father and mother”, who are not even in my mind, that I remember them now in these lines. I remember without reproach, with regret. And, of course, in a dispute between my reader and a fellow traveler on the train, I am completely on the side of the fellow traveler. She's right. We must answer for the godsons and goddaughters who have fled from their parents’ nests, because they are not random people in our lives, but our children, spiritual children, godparents.

Who doesn't know this picture?

Dressed up people stand aside in the temple. The center of attention is a baby in lush lace, they pass him from hand to hand, go out with him, distract him so that he does not cry. They are waiting for the christening. They look at their watches and get nervous.

Godmothers and fathers can be recognized immediately. They are somehow especially focused and important. They are in a hurry to get a wallet to pay for the upcoming christening, give some orders, rustle with bags of baptismal robes and fresh diapers. The little man does not understand anything, gawking at the wall frescoes, at the lights of the chandelier, at the “persons accompanying him,” among which the godfather’s face is one of many. But when the priest invites you, it’s time. They fussed, got excited, the godparents tried their best to maintain importance - it didn’t work, because for them, as well as for their godson, today’s exit to God's temple- a significant event.
“When was the last time you were in church?” the priest will ask. They will shrug their shoulders in embarrassment. He may not ask, of course. But even if he doesn’t ask, you can still easily determine from the awkwardness and tension that the godparents are not church people, and only the event in which they were invited to participate brought them under the arches of the church. Father will ask questions:

— Do you wear a cross?

— Do you read prayers?

- Are you reading the Gospel?

— Do you honor church holidays?

And the godparents will begin to mutter something incomprehensible and lower their eyes guiltily. The priest will certainly reassure you and remind you of the duty of godfathers and mothers, and of Christian duty in general. The godparents will hastily and willingly nod their heads, humbly accept the conviction of sin, and either from excitement, or from embarrassment, or from the seriousness of the moment, few will remember and let into the heart the main thought of the priest: we are all responsible for our godchildren, and now and forever. And whoever remembers will most likely misunderstand. And from time to time, mindful of his duty, he will begin to contribute what he can to the well-being of his godson.

The first deposit immediately after baptism: an envelope with a crisp, respectable bill - enough for a tooth. Then, for birthdays, as the child grows older - a chic set of children's trousseau, an expensive toy, a fashionable backpack, a bicycle, a branded suit, and so on up to a gold chain, to the envy of the poor, for a wedding.

We know very little. And it’s not just a problem, but something that we don’t really want to know. After all, if we wanted to, then before going to the temple as a godfather, we would have looked there the day before and asked the priest what this step “threatens” us, how best to prepare for it.

Godfather is a godfather in Slavic. Why? After immersion in the font, the priest transfers the baby from his own hands to the hands of the godfather. And he accepts, takes it into his own hands. The meaning of this action is very deep. By acceptance, the godfather takes upon himself the honorable, and most importantly, responsible mission of leading the godson along the path of ascension to the Heavenly inheritance. That's where! After all, baptism is the spiritual birth of a person. Remember in the Gospel of John: “Whoever is not born of water and the Spirit cannot enter the kingdom of God.”

The Church calls its recipients with serious words - “guardians of faith and piety”. But in order to store, you need to know. Therefore, only a believing Orthodox person can be a godfather, and not the one who went to church for the first time with the baby being baptized. Godparents should know at least the basic prayers“Our Father”, “Virgin Mother of God”, “May God rise again...”, they must know the “Creed”, read the Gospel, the Psalter. And, of course, wear a cross, be able to be baptized.
One priest told me: they came to baptize a child, but the godfather did not have a cross. Father to him: put on the cross, but he can’t, he’s unbaptized. Just a joke, but the absolute truth.

Faith and repentance are the two main conditions for union with God. But faith and repentance cannot be demanded from a baby in lace, so the godparents are called upon, having faith and repentance, to pass them on and teach them to their successors. That is why they pronounce, instead of babies, the words of the “Creed” and the words of renunciation of Satan.

- Do you deny Satan and all his works? - asks the priest.

“I deny,” the receiver answers instead of the baby.

The priest is wearing a light festive robe as a sign of the beginning of a new life, and therefore of spiritual purity. He walks around the font, censes it, everyone standing nearby with lit candles. Candles are burning in the hands of the recipients. Very soon, the priest will lower the baby into the font three times and, wet, wrinkled, not at all understanding where he is and why, the servant of God, will hand him over to the hands of his godparents. And he will be dressed in white robes. At this time, a very beautiful troparion is sung: “Give me a robe of light, dress in light, like a robe...” Accept your child, successors. From now on your life will be filled special meaning, you have taken upon yourself the feat of spiritual parenthood, and for how you bear it, you now have to answer before God.

At the First Ecumenical Council, a rule was adopted according to which women become successors for girls, men for boys. Simply put, a girl needs only a godmother, a boy only a godfather. But life, as often happens, made its own adjustments here too. According to ancient Russian tradition, both are invited. Of course, you can’t spoil the porridge with oil. But even here it is necessary to know completely certain rules. For example, a husband and wife cannot be godparents to one child, just as a child’s parents cannot be his godparents at the same time. Godparents cannot marry their godchildren.

... The baby's baptism is behind us. He has a big life ahead of him, in which we have a place equal to the father and mother who gave birth to him. Our work lies ahead, our constant desire to prepare our godson to ascend to spiritual heights. Where to begin? Yes, from the very beginning. At first, especially if the child is the first, parents are knocked off their feet by the worries that have fallen on them. They, as they say, don’t care about anything. Now is the time to give them a helping hand.

Carry the baby to Communion, make sure that icons hang over his cradle, give notes for him in church, order prayer services, constantly, like your own blood children, remember them in home prayers. Of course, there is no need to do this edifyingly, they say, you are mired in vanity, but I am all spiritual - I think about high things, I strive for high things, I take care of your child so that you can do without me... In general, the spiritual education of a child is only possible in case if the godfather is his own person in the house, welcome, tactful. Of course, you don’t need to shift all your worries onto yourself. Parents have responsibilities spiritual education are not removed, but to help, support, replace somewhere, if necessary, this is mandatory, without this you cannot justify yourself before the Lord.

This is truly a difficult cross to bear. And, probably, you need to think carefully before placing it on yourself. Will I be able to? Do I have enough health, patience, and spiritual experience to become a recipient of a person entering life? And parents should take a good look at relatives and friends - candidates for the honorary post. Which of them will be able to become a truly kind assistant in education, who will be able to bestow your child with true Christian gifts - prayer, the ability to forgive, the ability to love God. And plush bunnies the size of elephants may be nice, but they are not at all necessary.

If there is trouble in the house, there are different criteria. How many unfortunate, restless children suffer from drunken fathers and unlucky mothers. And how many simply unfriendly, embittered people live under one roof and make children suffer cruelly. Such stories are as old as time and banal. But if a person who stood with a lit candle in front of the Epiphany font fits into this plot, if he, this person, rushes, as if into an embrasure, towards his godson, he can move mountains. Possible good is also good. We are not able to discourage a foolish man from drinking half a liter, to reason with a lost daughter, or to sing “put up, put up, put up” to two frowning halves. But we have the power to take a boy who is tired of affection to our dacha for a day, enroll him in Sunday school and take the trouble to take him there and pray. The feat of prayer is at the forefront of godparents of all times and peoples.

The priests well understand the severity of the feat of their successors and do not give their blessing to recruit a lot of children for their children, good and different.

But I know a man who has more than fifty godchildren. These boys and girls are right from there, from childhood loneliness, childhood sadness. From a big childhood misfortune.

This man’s name is Alexander Gennadievich Petrynin, he lives in Khabarovsk, he is the director of the Children’s Rehabilitation Center, or more simply, an orphanage. As a director, he does a lot, gets funds for classroom equipment, selects personnel from conscientious, unselfish people, rescues his charges from the police, collects them in basements.

Like a godfather, he takes them to church, talks about God, prepares them for Communion and prays. He prays a lot, a lot. In Optina Pustyn, in the Trinity-Sergius Lavra, in Diveyevo Monastery, in dozens of churches throughout Russia, long notes written by him about the health of numerous godsons are read. He gets very tired, this man, sometimes he almost falls from fatigue. But he has no other choice, he is a godfather, and his godchildren are a special people. His heart is a rare heart, and the priest, understanding this, blesses him for such asceticism. A teacher from God, those who know him in action say about him. Godfather from God - can you say that? No, probably all godparents are from God, but he knows how to suffer like a godfather, knows how to love like a godfather, and knows how to save. Like a godfather.

For us, whose godchildren, like the children of Lieutenant Schmidt, are scattered throughout cities and towns, his service to children is an example of true Christian service. I think that many of us will not reach its heights, but if we are to make life from anyone, then it will be from those who understand their title of “successor” as a serious and not an accidental matter in life.
You can, of course, say: I am a weak person, busy, not very much a church member, and the best thing I can do in order not to sin is to refuse the offer to be a godfather altogether. It’s more honest and simpler, right? Easier - yes. But more honestly...
Few of us, especially when the time has imperceptibly come to stop and look back, can say to ourselves - I am a good father, a good mother, I do not owe anything to my own child. We owe everyone, and the godless time in which our requests, our projects, our passions grew, is the result of our debts to each other. We won't give them back anymore. The children have grown up and are doing without our truths and our discoveries of America. The parents have grown old. But conscience is the voice of God- itching and itching.

Conscience requires an outburst, and not in words, but in deeds. Couldn't bearing the responsibilities of the cross be such a thing?
It’s a pity that there are few examples of the feat of the cross among us. The word "godfather" has almost disappeared from our vocabulary. And the recent wedding of my childhood friend’s daughter was a big and unexpected gift for me. Or rather, not even a wedding, which in itself is a great joy, but a feast, the wedding itself. And that's why. We sat down, poured the wine, and waited for the toast. Everyone is somehow embarrassed, the bride’s parents let the groom’s parents pass ahead with the speeches, and they do the opposite. And then the tall one stood up and handsome man. He stood up somehow in a very businesslike manner. He raised his glass:

- I want to say, as the godfather of the bride...

Everyone became quiet. Everyone listened to the words that the young people should live long, in harmony, with many children, and most importantly, with the Lord.
“Thank you, godfather,” said the charming Yulka, and from under her luxurious foaming veil she gave her godfather a grateful look.

Thank you godfather, I thought too. Thank you for carrying love for your spiritual daughter from the baptismal candle to the wedding candle. Thank you for reminding us all of what we had completely forgotten about. But we have time to remember. How much - the Lord knows. Therefore, we must hurry.

How to baptize a child correctly, what rules to follow.

In the life of every child the most important people are his parents. After all, parents are the people who give us life, love, care and attention. This fact is undeniable and known to all of us since childhood. However, we should not forget about spiritual parents, or, as we used to call them, godparents.

The question regarding the choice of godparents and the baptism procedure itself has always been and remains relevant, since both the godfather and the godmother are given to the child alone and for life. Moreover, it is spiritual parents who face the most important task - to raise their child in accordance with generally accepted standards of morality and, of course, faith. Well, today we will talk in detail about all the nuances of the baptism procedure and choosing godparents, so that you no longer have to worry about this.

What are godparents for?

How many people know why a baby needs godparents? How many people think about this question? Unfortunately no.

• Most couples, when choosing godparents for their children, think about the wrong things at all.
• It is customary for us to take people who are well known to us as godfathers. Most often these are friends or relatives. Not the least factor when choosing godparents is their financial condition, while you need to pay attention to completely different things.
• It must be said that talking about the question: “Why are godparents needed?” comes after the answer to the question: “Why baptize a child at all?” Agree, it is quite logical. This is where we will start.
• According to Orthodox beliefs, every person comes into this world with original sin. We are talking about the violation of that very prohibition by Adam and Eve. So this one original sin- a kind of congenital disease, without getting rid of which, the baby will not be able to grow up healthy and happy.
• This sin can only be removed by accepting faith. Many parents try to baptize their baby as soon as possible, but in principle they do not understand why they need to do it this way. Here is your answer, children are baptized as soon as possible so that they are with God, and he bestows them with all kinds of benefits.

Now let's move on to the question of why we need godparents:

• As a rule, every person is baptized almost immediately after birth. Due to their age, a child, and in principle even a teenager, cannot objectively assess the importance of this step, and, indeed, cannot follow this faith, because they simply do not know it.
• This is exactly why we all need godparents. Godparents receive babies directly from the font and become full-fledged spiritual parents (godparents, godparents).
• Second parents must teach the child to live “by the rules.” In this case, we are talking not so much about the rules of life in society, but about the foundations of the Orthodox faith. Godparents must guide the child on the right path, take care of him and love him as their own child, and if his godson ever stumbles, give him a helping hand. Also, adoptees should always pray for their godson and ask the Lord to be favorable to him.
• Based on the above, we can conclude that when choosing godparents for your child, you need to look not at the availability of money and opportunities, but at what kind of life these people lead and whether they are actually believers.

How to choose a godfather and godmother for a child: rules, who can be godfather, godmother and at what age?

When choosing a godfather for a child, few people think about what he should be like. We are more inclined to evaluate the future recipient according to other criteria: a friend, relative, responsible or not, lives in this city and will be able to see the child often or not, etc. However, the church puts forward its own rules and they must be followed.

IMPORTANT: Of course, the godfather must be baptized. This condition is mandatory and is not subject to any discussion. After all, how can an unbaptized person who does not believe in God and, accordingly, does not understand the commandments by which everyone who came to this earth must live, teach all this? small child? The answer is obvious.

• Moreover, the recipient must be a church member. However, in our time, few people even know the meaning of this word. If we talk in simple words, then a person who is considered to be a churchgoer is one who is not just baptized, but who actually believes, lives as a Christian, and tries to follow all the fundamentals of his faith.

• Regarding age. There are no clear boundaries here, but the church is inclined to believe that the recipient must be an adult. Why is that? The point here is not about 18 years, but about the fact that adults are considered to be old enough and responsible enough to take such a serious step. By the way, we are not talking about civil coming of age, but about church coming of age. Despite this, you can become a godfather earlier, but this issue must be discussed with the priest, who will give permission for this.

The godmother should be chosen in the same way as the godfather:

• The spiritual mother must be a believing Orthodox Christian, and accordingly she must be baptized.
• It is also necessary to consider how a woman lives. Does she believe in God, does she go to church, can she raise her child as a believing Orthodox Christian.
• In addition to church restrictions, future parents should pay attention to other things. When choosing a godmother for your baby, you must understand that in fact this woman will be a second mother for your child and, accordingly, you must completely trust her.
• You should not take unfamiliar or dubious people as godparents for your baby. Godparents must be responsible and trusted people.

Who should you not take as godparents to your child?

If you are very concerned about this issue, then we recommend that you consult with a priest; he, like no one else, knows the answers to all your questions. However, generally speaking, the church prohibits taking such people as godparents:

1. A monk or a nun. Despite this, the priest can become the child’s adopter.
2. Natural parents. It would seem that who else but the parents themselves can give the child the best education and help? But no, parents are strictly forbidden to baptize their children.
3. A woman and a man who are married. The Church not only does not approve, but strictly forbids ignoring this rule. Because people who baptize a baby become relatives on a spiritual level and lead accordingly worldly life after that they won't be able to. It is also forbidden for already established godfathers to marry - this is considered a huge sin.
4. It is clear that people who suffer from mental disorders and are seriously ill cannot be accepted as recipients.
5. And one more rule, which we talked about briefly earlier. Age of godparents. In addition to adulthood, there are two more age thresholds: a girl must be 14 years old, and a guy must be 15. In principle, given condition There is no point in speculating much, because it is already clear that a child cannot raise a child, and therefore it is impossible to take people of this age category as godparents.

How many times can you be a godfather, godmother? Is it possible to refuse to be a godfather or godmother?

The Church does not give a clear answer to the question of how many times a child can be baptized, and this is quite logical:

• Fatherhood is a very big responsibility and the more children you baptize, the greater this responsibility becomes. That is why a person must answer such a question for himself. Ask yourself the question: “Will I be able to give this godson as much attention as he needs?”, “Do I have enough spiritual and physical strength to raise another child?”, “Won’t I have to be torn between all the godchildren?” . When you honestly give yourself answers to such questions, then you will understand whether you can baptize another baby or whether you will have to refuse.
• By the way, many people ask the question: “Is it possible to refuse to be a godfather, godmother?” The answer is that it is possible, moreover, it is even necessary if you do not want to do this or cannot for some reason.

• The person who has been offered to baptize a child must clearly understand that after the Sacrament of baptism he will become a family member for the child, his second parent, and this implies enormous responsibility. It’s not just coming to a birthday party, wishing Happy New Year or St. Nicholas, no, it means constantly participating in the child’s life, developing him, helping him in all his endeavors. Not ready for such responsibility? Refuse immediately, because this is not considered a sin or something shameful, but becoming a recipient and not fulfilling your direct duties is a church sin, for which God will definitely ask.

Is it possible to baptize a child without godparents, godmother, godfather, with only one godfather?

In ancient times, only one godparent baptized a child. Boys - man, girls - woman. This is due to the fact that once upon a time everyone was baptized as adults and, accordingly, in order not to be embarrassed, they took a person of the same sex as their godparents.

• Now, when baptism occurs at a stage when the baby is still completely immature, two recipients of different sexes can baptize him at once.
• At the request of the parents, either only a man or only a woman can baptize a newborn. For boys it is a man, for girls it is a woman. The Church does not prohibit this practice; moreover, initially everything was done this way.
• There are situations when parents want to perform the Sacrament of baptism without any recipients at all, and this is quite possible. In this case, they are baptized without godparents at all. However, initially this nuance should be discussed with the priest, so that later you do not have any surprises.

Is it possible to be a godfather or godmother to two or several children in one family?

The Church gives a very succinct answer to this question. It is possible and necessary if it was offered to you and you want it. There are no prohibitions against being a godfather/godmother for two children in a family at once, and this phenomenon is quite common. The main thing when making such a decision is to objectively assess your capabilities and if you are ready for such responsibility, go ahead.

Can a pregnant, unmarried woman be godmother to someone else’s child?

How much controversy this question causes, and superstitions too, by the way:

• For some reason, we generally believe that a pregnant woman does not have the right to baptize her baby. However, this assertion is completely unfounded. The Church in no way prohibits to the expectant mother to become the recipient of a newborn; moreover, it is generally accepted that this is even useful for a pregnant woman.
• Therefore, you should not believe in prejudices; if you are faced with such a situation and do not know how to do the right thing, just contact the church, they will explain everything to you in detail.

The same applies to an unmarried woman. The fact that a woman is not married does not mean that she cannot be a good adopter for the baby.

Can a grandfather or grandmother of a grandson or granddaughter be the godfather and godmother? Can a sibling, sibling, sibling be a godfather or godmother of a sister or brother?

• The Orthodox faith does not prohibit grandparents from becoming godparents for their grandchildren. Moreover, purely from an educational point of view, this is very good. Grandparents have lived a life, have a rich life experience, and grandchildren are sacred to them, so they will definitely be able to raise a newborn in accordance with all the rules and foundations of Christianity.
• The ban on baptism did not affect the brothers/sisters of a newborn baby. The Church allows and approves the baptism of children by their relatives and cousins and sisters.

• Everyone knows that younger children always want to be like their older brothers and sisters and imitate them in every possible way. In this case, the subject of imitation will have to help his godson in every possible way and set only a positive example.
• The only thing worth thinking about is the age of possible godparents. After all, recipients must be responsible and relatively experienced people.

Can a husband and wife of the same child be godparents? Can godparents get married?

The church is very strict regarding this issue. It is strictly forbidden for a child to be baptized by a married couple. Moreover, future godfathers are also prohibited from marrying in the future.

In simple words, between people who baptize the same baby there should only be a spiritual connection (godparents), but not an “earthly” one (marriage). It cannot be any other way in this case.

Conversation before baptism for godparents: what does the priest ask before baptism?

• Few people know, but before the Sacrament of baptism itself, future recipients must attend special conversations. In practice, we can see that sometimes such conversations are not held at all or are held, but not the number of times that is necessary.
• As a rule, during such conversations, the priest explains to the future godparents the foundations of the Orthodox faith and talks about what responsibilities they will have in relation to the godson. Those who do not know the basics of Christianity are advised to read Holy Bible
• . This will help future spiritual parents better understand faith and, accordingly, understand what is required of them in raising a child.
• The priest also tells that the recipients must endure a 3-day fast, and after that confess their sins and receive communion.

Christening of a boy and a girl: requirements, rules, responsibilities and what you need to know for a godmother?

If you have been offered to become a child’s godmother, it is a great honor and responsibility. So you should know following rules and requirements for you:

• Of course, the main requirement for a woman who will baptize a child is to be baptized and to sincerely believe in God.
• Next, a few days before the celebration itself, you need to confess and receive communion. You should also refrain from any carnal pleasures. And besides all this, you should know the “Creed” prayer. You will read this prayer at baptism only if you are baptizing a girl.

Your responsibilities to the baby as a godmother:

• The godmother takes responsibility for raising the child
• Must teach him to live in accordance with Christian rules and principles
• I must pray for him before God and help the baby in everything
• Also, the godmother should take the child to church, not forget about the day of his birth and baptism
• And, of course, I should be a good example for him

Besides this, what else does a godmother need to know? You can probably only add responsibilities regarding organizational issues:

• It is generally accepted that it is the spiritual mother who must bring the child a kryzhma (a special baptismal towel) and a baptismal set, which, as a rule, consists of a shirt, a hat and socks, or panties, a jacket, a hat and socks.
• It is important to know that the kryzhma must be new; it is in this towel that the priest will place the newly baptized child. This attribute is a kind of protection for the child and can later be used as a talisman.

Christening of a boy and a girl: requirements, rules, responsibilities and what you need to know for a godfather?

It is also important for future godfathers to know certain rules and responsibilities associated with the baptism ceremony of a baby:

• Just like with the mother, the godfather must be an Orthodox Christian and be baptized.
• The main duty of a spiritual father is to be a worthy example, this is most important if the child being baptized is a boy. He must see before him a worthy example of masculine behavior. Also, the godfather must take the godson to church and teach him to live in peace with all the people around him.
• It is accepted that the future recipient should buy the baby a cross and a chain or thread on which the cross can be attached. It will also not be superfluous to purchase a baptismal icon. It is the godfather who must pay all the costs of baptism, if any.
• It is better to solve all these worries and troubles in advance, so that later you do not have to do everything at the last moment.

Christening of a boy and a girl: what should a godmother do at a christening?

It is immediately necessary to clarify that the future godmother must be present at the girl’s christening, but the godfather can be present in absentia.

• Directly at the christening itself, it is the godmother who will receive the goddaughter after immersion in the font. Initially, most likely, the godfather will hold the baby.
• After the child is given to the godmother, she must dress the girl in a new outfit.
• Next, the successor holds the baby both while the priest reads prayers and when he performs Chrismation.
• Sometimes priests ask to read a prayer, but most often they do it themselves.

• Everything will be the same with the boy, but after dipping him into the font, he will be handed over to his godfather. Also, when a boy is baptized, he must be brought behind the altar (after 40 days from birth).

Christening of a boy and a girl: what should a godfather do at a christening?

The responsibilities of a godfather are not much different from those of a godmother:

• The spiritual father can also hold the baby.
• After the priest receives answers to all traditionally asked questions, the recipient may be asked to recite a special prayer. But again, most likely the priest himself will do it.
• The godfather helps undress the child before immersing him in water, and then dresses him. If the child being baptized is a girl, then after this ceremony she will be handed over to her godmother, but if it is a boy, then her godfather will hold her.

Is it possible to change godparents, godfather, godmother for a child, boy, girl? ?

All people come into this world only once, and exactly the same number of times are allowed to be baptized.

• The Church prohibits changing godparents; moreover, in fact, there is no such possibility, because there is no such ritual.
• That is why attention has been repeatedly drawn to the fact that baptizing a child is a huge responsibility, which you cannot simply take up and refuse afterwards.
• Godparents do not change under any circumstances. Even if over time you stopped communicating with your godfathers, even if they left and cannot see the baby often, they still remain his godparents and are responsible for him.

How many godparents should a child have? Can there be two godmothers and two godfathers?

We discussed this issue a little earlier:

• Nowadays, most often two people are taken as godparents: the godfather and the godmother. However, you can do it differently.
• You can take only your godfather or your godmother as your godfather. At the same time, it is worth remembering that for a newborn baby it is more important to have a receiver, but for a boy it is still more important to have a receiver.
• If for some reason you don’t want to take godparents at all, or you simply don’t have anyone to take, then you can baptize a child without any godparents at all.

• Moreover, you can ask the priest to become your baby’s godfather, but you must take into account the fact that it is unlikely that a person distant from your family will be able to pay due attention to the child.
• Could there be 2 mother's godparents or 2 godfathers - a rhetorical question. This must be clarified directly with the church in which you want to baptize the child and with the priest who will conduct the ceremony. Such cases are known, but different churches, no matter how strange it may sound, can give you a different answer.

Can a Muslim be godfather to an Orthodox Christian?

The answer to this question is very obvious. Of course not. After all, how can a Muslim teach a child the Orthodox faith? No way. The only thing a Muslim can do is stand in church during the sacrament of baptism, if it is performed on his relative.

As you can see, the issue regarding baptism and the choice of godparents is very relevant and is being actively discussed. There are many rules and prejudices, which in our time for some reason stand on the same level as church customs, which is why if you don’t know what to do correctly in a given situation, contact the church, they will explain to you in detail all the points that interest you.

Video: About infant baptism and modern lifestyle