What to do if you are afraid to confess your feelings to a girl? How to confess your love to a girl if you're afraid.
Sometimes it is very difficult to open up to another person about your feelings for him. Most often, the reason for this is the fear of ridicule and misunderstanding. But putting off explanations is not the best solution, because sooner or later it will become impossible to hide your desires and intentions.
Why do you need to confess your love at all?This is a very serious step, because we understand perfectly well that after this recognition the relationship will develop differently. And we are tormented by fears, what if we are not ready for a serious union? Therefore, before declaring your love, you need to understand exactly. What we want and how we see future relationships. It may be useful to know for sure. Do we really love the person? All these points can organize you and start a conversation about love. But maybe you just have wounded pride and a desire to manipulate another person? In this case, you should not admit your feelings. And it happens that this is the only way to find a loved one, then this recognition should not be postponed.
If you are very afraid of a frank conversation, then first analyze your girlfriend’s behavior so as not to run into refusal. Have a romantic dinner at a restaurant and give flowers. If she accepts all this with great pleasure, then she is not at all against the continuation of your relationship and, most likely, expects recognition from you. As a rule, girls themselves guess about your feelings, so your words will only strengthen the relationship, and therefore the conversation will not be scary, but very pleasant. But it may also be that the girl has no idea what is going on in your soul. Then the conversation is unlikely to be simple. But, nevertheless, you need to start with courtship, and only then move on to a difficult explanation. Of course, such frankness, which may be unexpected for a girl, is not always romantic and pleasant. It’s always better to be patient and courteous, so that the girl herself begins to guess about your intentions. Perhaps she herself will ask a leading question or hint that she doesn’t mind hearing from you, here it will be easier to confess your love, the main thing is not to back down.
The prevailing stereotypes require active action from young men. And the girl is destined only for waiting. Currently this is not necessary at all. If you see that your boyfriend is exhausted trying to confess, then you can start a sensitive conversation yourself. What if you fall in love, but the object of your passion doesn’t pay attention to you at all? Confessing your love will still be the best way out! Even a negative result is a result; at least you will understand that this person does not need your love and there is no need to build castles in the air! If it’s very uncomfortable and scary, you can use the epistolary genre, but it’s better to make sure that they won’t laugh at you later. If there are doubts about the nobility of the object, then it is better to leave this idea.
How to overcome fears?A declaration of love is not only an emotional impulse, but also an act that requires courage and responsibility. To overcome all fears, think it over again, because such recognition is always transparent and makes your sincerity visible.
Start by creating the appropriate environment, don’t try to invent anything, your heart itself will tell you how to act. Try not to worry! Think through the refusal situation to save face. Understand that this is not the end of the world and life goes on!
My girlfriend is very sociable, she has many friends. I would like to know where and with whom she spends her time when we are not together. One day I couldn’t cope with temptation, I went into her phone and read messages in instant messengers and in social networks. I didn't find anything objectionable there. But I'm so ashamed! Should I admit what I did? What if she can't forgive me and leaves me?
Ilya, 24 years old
The difficulty is not in deciding whether to confess or not, but in your need to control the girl’s life. Including that part of it that does not concern you. The internal conflict must be completed: either forgive yourself and not consider yourself ethically impeccable, or seriously think about your possessive habits. Moreover, being fixated on your action helps you avoid what is much more important - sober self-esteem, self-acceptance, fear of real close relationships.
To avoid problems in the future, try to learn to control yourself. For example, as soon as you realize that a surge of jealousy is overtaking you, take paper and write down your thoughts and feelings. Take time during the day to review your notes. Think about what events provoked jealousy. Discuss with the girl the actions that you consider unacceptable. But remember that she is not your property and you cannot control her life.
One more observation. You attribute to the girl the same romantic maximalism that you yourself toil with. You assume that, having learned about the only ugly act, she will immediately be disappointed in you. But in truly close relationships, we learn a lot about each other that was impossible to imagine during the period of idealization and falling in love.
Hello readers, I decided to write an article on the topic of declaration of love. Why are we afraid to talk about our feelings? What prevents us from being happy, and how to overcome it?
What seems complicated about the phrase “I love you” is, at first glance, nothing. But telling it to a truly loved one is not so easy. If you love, then naturally you are afraid of losing him, and the fear of this loss causes us to fear the unknown.
Every person wants to love and be loved, but overcoming the fear of rejection is very difficult. Because of this, many people remain lonely because once upon a time, they did not have the courage to confess their love.
They were afraid of a negative reaction to their words.
Because of this problem, I myself suffered (I wrote about it in the article). I just didn’t have the courage, it seemed that it would be better for me to communicate and meet with her as a friend than to lose her forever, although later I regretted my indecisiveness.
When you experience some feelings for a person, for some reason the ease of communication disappears, you are afraid of saying or doing something wrong, and this greatly interferes. And if you are indifferent to a person, such discomfort in communication does not arise, and you behave absolutely naturally. You need to learn to overcome this fear, it’s better to know the truth, even if it’s bitter, than to reproach yourself all your life for the unused opportunity to be happy
I understand the indecisiveness of girls who, due to their upbringing or for other reasons, are not used to talking about their feelings and expect this from their lovers. A man is the stronger sex because he must be the first to confess his love and achieve reciprocity, but this does not always happen as it should be.
The times of knights are gone and now the words “I love you” can be easily said only by someone for whom they mean absolutely nothing, who only wants one thing from a girl. Such people are not uncommon now, they do not mince words, they are ready to say anything to achieve their goal.
And, unfortunately, girls believe them, those who promise mountains of gold, but in reality turn out to be ordinary. Because of this, there was a wrong impression about all guys, as if we only need one thing from women, as they say. But this is far from true.
In our time, there are real men who are ready to move mountains for their loved ones. Do everything possible to make your loved one the happiest in the world, but how often this does not happen through our fault, because of indecision and fear of loss. You must definitely try to change and understand once and for all that there is nothing wrong with refusal, of course it hurts, but not like the long torment of not knowing whether you love or not.
In conclusion, I want to say: if you love someone, you don’t need to hide it, it doesn’t matter whether you are a man or a woman, you shouldn’t be afraid to admit your feelings, because by doing this you are making it worse, first of all, for yourself and depriving yourself of the opportunity to experience real happiness. Best regards.
P.S. New love song for today DFM 2011 – Dance!
+ video. How to confess your love to a girl if you are afraid? You have a serious problem. Why? Because declaring your love out of nowhere will doom your potential relationship to failure. Confession will destroy all chances of further development
Before you confess your love to a girl, you need to get her. She needs to dream of hearing these words. And now she absolutely does not care about you and your confessions - admit it and you will be convinced of this. Until the two of you come to bed together, don’t even think about uttering words of love - you’ll ruin everything and be abandoned. This is the fatal mistake most guys make. Do successful guys among women ever confess their love first? NO! They force girls to love and confess on their own. And only after that, in response, they can say the cherished words of love.
Psychologists agree that romantic experience plays a huge role in seducing a girl. That is why some men who have had many girls feel confident surrounded by lovely ladies, while others, on the contrary, are not too confident in themselves and are particularly complex. It is much easier for a seductive guy who is completely relaxed to get a girl into bed and confess his love to her. And it's not scary at all. And the experience of communicating with girls helps them in this. A man with experience can always improvise - he knows in advance what and in what form the girl wants to hear from him. Quite often, such guys follow the same structured pattern, which is used as the main technique to win the heart of a girl. For each guy, this template is individual and is quickly developed by trial and error, that is, practice and experience.
How should an inexperienced, modest guy who is specifically in love and wants to confess his love to the girl he likes act? First of all, start communicating with girls as much as possible. Even if you completely screw up, it doesn’t matter. Experience is important. Be afraid, but approach, with each new approach to a girl (at school, at university, at work, on the street, in a store) it will be less scary. Destroy your excessive modesty, shyness and uncertainty. Having all these qualities with you, you initially look like a rag in the eyes of your chosen one, NOT a MAN, but a rag. Your inexperience and embarrassment will always be expressed in an absurd phrase that is inappropriate at the moment, in a tasteless gift, in silence or in some other stupidity. Girls can smell complexed loser guys a mile away, and prefer not to have anything serious with such boyfriends. Before attacking the girl you like, practice on others. Or your attempt is doomed to failure.
Girls, unlike guys, just need to have an attractive appearance, some mystery and charm. But for us, everything is different. Gorgeous external data plays only a small role. Male charisma and a strong core, character, as well as difficulty in approaching - this is your arsenal. Fight your complexes, work on your voice, always feel free, remove stiffness.
Give the girl emotions so that she doesn’t want “something new” + use kinesthetics (touch) and limiting meetings (be the first to say on a walk that it’s time for you). At the end of the walk, hug or kiss on the cheek or lips, whichever you prefer and leave as if nothing happened. Try not to be a romantic idiot for her, but just good friend, it's more efficient model behavior - to make her want more. Don't give compliments or gifts - let her do it for you. If you do not listen to our recommendations, then communicating with the lady of your heart will only bring you disappointment and a lot of negative emotions. If you listen, you will be happy, good luck :)
As you know, girls are romantic and sensitive creatures, and therefore they begin to experience attraction to the opposite sex much earlier than the guys themselves. And at any age, it all starts with simple sympathy, and ultimately develops into something more, important and significant. And then the feelings require a response on his part and some kind of certainty, but if the young man does not show signs of reciprocity, the girl has to act on her own. And here a new problem appears: guy, if you are afraid to hear the real answer, and how to decide on this? Let's figure this out together, dear ladies.
Question one: is all this necessary?Declaration of love is not an easy matter, it requires determination and courage, balance and responsibility. Of course, before taking this step, the girl experiences enormous stress, fear, excitement, and is overcome by many emotions, and not the most pleasant ones at that. However, since the guy forces you to take decisive action, think about whether you should be the first to declare your love, is all this worth such efforts on your part? Firstly, young ladies often mistake light infatuation for deep feelings, they say loud words that they cannot live without it young man live, breathe and so on. They often ask if they are a pen pal. There is nothing stupider than admitting to not knowing him personally for a long time.
First, try to test yourself: look at other guys, be alone for a couple of days and evaluate everything soberly. Imagine that your loved one will reciprocate your feelings, what then? Do you want a relationship with him, how long will it last? And if you really decide that your feelings are deep and not far-fetched, let's move on to the next stage: is this young man worth it?
Question two: is he the one?You suffer for weeks, wondering how to confess your love to a guy if you are afraid to take the first step. The heart is ready to jump out of feelings, but in the end it may turn out that he is not at all your cup of tea. Most often, a girl decides to do this precisely because the guy seems to be showing signs of reciprocity, but either they are somewhat unclear, or the lady notices that he himself wants to confess his love, but is shy. However, even here, ladies, there is one small problem: we know how to invent those very “signs” for ourselves, especially if we diligently look for them in every glance of our loved one. It’s quite simple to check this: disappear for a couple of days, or even a week, or play the “snow queen”. Let his feelings surface and don't do anything on your own.
Drawing conclusionsIf he doesn’t even notice your absence or doesn’t start an active search, without regretting anything, turn around and move on with your life without him. You don’t even have to think about how to confess your love to a guy if you’re afraid, because it’s clear that he’s clearly not worth it, and for him you are just one of many. But if you notice that he is worried and worried, if he starts asking you what happened, what he did wrong, then act decisively, because your feelings are really mutual. Don't forget that your recognition is a treasure that should only be given to someone who can appreciate it.
Question three: how to do this?If the previous questions have passed the test, it's time to turn to yourself important stage: how to confess your love to a guy correctly. Everything here, firstly, depends on the situation, because it makes a big difference whether you are already dating this young man, or whether everything can only begin after recognition. In the first option, everything is much simpler, since you are already in a relationship, and you only need to choose the right moment. So, first, think through the situation. You need to choose a place for a date that will have a suitable romantic atmosphere, and no one will disturb you. A park may be suitable for this in the evening, quiet cozy cafe. You can invite him over for dinner. You need to create a situation so that you can talk calmly, and he is relaxed and ready for dialogue. Then you must prepare, namely, come up with an attractive, but not provocative image, gentle and romantic. You need him to think only about you and your feelings, and a short skirt or open neckline will clearly create a different impression of you.
Question four: what to say?If you are afraid of rejection? Think carefully about your text. The confession should not be too drawn out and should provide specific information about your intentions. However, it’s also not a good idea to say three precious words directly, as this can stun and frighten him. Perfect a small one will do an introductory speech ending with a logical conclusion and, in fact, recognition. For example, it may sound like this: “You know, we have known each other for quite a long time, and during this time I managed to understand how dear you are to me. Next to you I feel very comfortable, without you I feel lonely. You are so dear and I love you. How do you feel about me? Of course, you must choose a speech specifically for your situation, but you need to be guided by one rule: everything said must be true.
Question five: friendship or relationship?A particularly delicate situation is if you start to have feelings for a guy with whom you have been thinking for a long time. Should you be the first to confess your love in this situation? In this context, the most difficult question will be the choice between maintaining this relationship or moving to a completely different level. Ask yourself if you are willing to risk everything and put what you have now on the line for something that may not come. After all, such a confession in any case will undermine your friendship and his attitude towards you, and if your feelings turn out to be true, then you will not be able to return everything as it was. How to confess your love if you are afraid? Think about whether you are sure that your attitude towards him is romantic. It is also possible that after spending a lot of time with him, you became attached to him, and thus it seemed to you that this was something other than friendship. And finally, think - can you be together if your feelings turn out to be mutual? After all, in a relationship, a guy always behaves differently than in a friendship, just like a girl. Therefore, make every decision carefully. Be happy.