The jokes are funny. A lot of quotes from the cartoon “Winnie the Pooh and all-all-all Words of congratulations to the owl from Winnie the Pooh

PIGLE: Good morning, Eeyore!
Eeyore: (sad) Good morning, Piglet! If it is good, of course!
Which I personally doubt!

Eeyore: (surprised) What did you say? Repeat!
PIGLE: Happy birthday to you!
IA-IA: Are you me?
PIGLE: Of course, Eeyore!
Eeyore: Happy birthday?
PIGLE: Yes!
Eeyore: So it's my real birthday?
PIGLE: Of course, Eeyore! And I brought you a gift!
Eeyore: Do I have a gift?
PIGLE: Yes!
Eeyore: Thank you, Piglet! You are a true friend! Not like some!...
(interested) What did you bring me?
PIGLE: I brought you balloon!
Eeyore: Balloon? It's so big and beautiful! They're still cheating him!
PIGLE: Yes, but just... you know... when I was running to quickly bring it to you, I fell!
Eeyore: Ay-ay, what a pity! I hope you're not hurt, Piglet?
PIGLE: I'm not! Thank you But he...he burst!
Eeyore: My ball?
PIGLE: Yes!
Eeyore: My gift?
PIGLE: Yes!
(Piglet hands the donkey what is left of the ball.)
Eeyore: (sad) Thank you, Piglet! (paused)
Excuse me, please, but I would like to ask you - what color was it when it was a ball?
PIGLE: Green!
Eeyore: (sad) Just think! Green... My favorite color!
What size?
PIGLE: Almost from me!
Eeyore: (sad) Just think, almost as big as you!..My favorite size!
(Winnie the Pooh appears on stage.)
WINNIE THE POOH: Happy Birthday! I wish you happiness in your personal life!
Eeyore: Thank you, Pooh, I’m already lucky.
WINNIE THE POOH: I brought you a gift!
IA-IA: I already have a gift.
WINNIE THE POOH: This is very good gift! Called - Useful Pot!
WINNIE THE POOH: Do you know what is written on it? "Happy Birthday!" And you can put whatever you want in it!
Eeyore: (animated) Yes? But my ball will just fit into this pot!
WINNIE THE POOH: No, Eeyore! Unfortunately, balloons do not come in pots!
They're too big!
Eeyore: (with pride) It’s the other balls that don’t go in, but mine does!
Look, Piglet!
(Piglet looks sadly at what is happening, and Eeyore takes his burst balloon and puts it in the pot, then takes it out and puts it on the ground, and then picks it up again and puts it in the pot.)
WINNIE THE POOH: Entering!
PIGLE: (joyfully) And it comes out!
Eeyore: (proudly) And he goes in and out!
WINNIE THE POOH: I am very pleased, Eeyore, that I thought of giving you a Useful Pot where you can put whatever things you want!
PIGLE: And I’m very pleased that I thought of giving you such a Thing that you can put in this Useful Pot!
(At this time, Eeyore puts the ball in and takes it back out of the pot. At this time, the Owl appears with a cord in his hands.)
OWL: Dear Eeyore! On this significant day, I want to give you a modest, but very useful gift! This lace!
(The owl hands the cord to the donkey.)
IA-IA: What is this? I think it's my tail!
WINNIE THE POOH: Of course yours, Eeyore!
(Winnie the Pooh attaches the tail to the donkey.)
PIGLE: Hurray! The tail has been found!
The owl found its tail!
OWL: How's the tail?
WINNIE THE POOH: Well, yes, a tail!
OWL: What happens that I gave away a tail??
WINNIE THE POOH: Well, yes, a tail!
OWL: Tail?!
(The owl starts laughing. Everyone else joins in.)
PIGLE: How good!
WINNIE THE POOH: How good!
Eeyore: What a coincidence!
PIGLE: I found a pot for the ball!
OWL: And a tail for your birthday!
PIGLE: It’s nice, needless to say,
WINNIE THE POOH: Birthday Gifts!
PIGLE: We are happy to give it to a friend!
OWL: And this is without a doubt!
Eeyore: Eeyore! And I'm of the same opinion!

Winnie the Pooh

Good morning, Owl! - said Pooh.
- Good morning, Pooh! - answered the Owl.
“Happy birthday to Eeyore,” said Pooh.
- Is that so? - Owl was surprised.
- Yes. What are you thinking of giving him?
- What are you thinking of giving him?
“I’m bringing him a Useful Pot as a gift, in which you can keep everything you want,” said Pooh. - And I wanted to ask you...
- This? - asked the Owl, taking the pot from Pooh's paws.
- Yes, and I wanted to ask you...
“They once kept honey here,” said the Owl.
“You can keep whatever you want in it,” said Pooh seriously. - This is very, very useful thing. And I wanted to ask you...
- You could write on it: “Happy Birthday.”
- So this is what I came to ask you about! - Pooh finally explained. - Because my spelling is kind of lame. In general, it is a good spelling, but for some reason it is lame and the letters are late... in their places. Will you write "Happy Birthday" on it? I beg you very much!
“Nice pot,” said the Owl, looking at the pot from all sides. - Can I give it as a gift too? Let this be our common gift.
“No,” said Pooh. - You came up with a bad idea. Let me wash it first, and then you can write everything on it.
And so he washed the pot and wiped it dry, and the Owl, meanwhile, was fiddling with the tip of her pencil and wondering how to spell the word “Congratulations.”
- Pooh, can you read? - she asked, not without anxiety in her voice. - For example, there is a notice on my door asking how to call - Christopher Robin wrote this to me. Can you read it?
“Christopher Robin told me what it said, and then I could,” answered Pooh.
- Very good! So I’ll also tell you what will be written on the pot, and then you can read it!
And the Owl began to write... This is what she wrote:
“About in vain, wow, wow, in vain, mrash of the day, in vain, wow, wow, wow!”
Pooh looked at this inscription with admiration.
“I wrote here: ‘Happy birthday,’” Owl remarked casually.
- This is the inscription! - Winnie the Pooh said respectfully.
- Well, if I’m going to tell you everything, it’s written here in full like this: “Happy birthday, I wish you all the best. Your Pooh.” I didn't take into account the consumption of graphite.
- What? - asked Pooh.
- There’s a lot of pencil here! - explained the Owl.
- Still would! - said Pooh.

Meanwhile, Piglet managed to run to his home and, grabbing a balloon for Eeyore, rushed at full speed, holding the balloon tightly to his chest so that it would not be blown away by the wind. Piglet was in a terrible hurry to get to Eeyore before Pooh; he wanted to be the first to give Donkey a gift, as if he, Piglet, himself remembered his birthday, without any prompting. He was in such a hurry and so thinking about how Eeyore would be happy with the gift that he didn’t look at his feet at all... And suddenly his foot fell into a mouse hole, and poor Piglet flew nose down: BOOM!!!
Piglet lay on the ground, not understanding what had happened. At first he thought that the whole world had gone up in smoke, then he thought that maybe only their beloved Forest; even later - that maybe only he, Piglet, took off and now he is lying alone somewhere on the Moon and will never, ever see Pooh, or Christopher Robin, or Eeyore again... And then it occurred to him, that even on the Moon it is not necessary to lie with your nose down all the time. He carefully stood up and looked around.
He was still in the Forest!
“Very interesting!” he thought. “I wonder what kind of Boom it was? I couldn’t have made so much noise myself when I fell! And where, I wonder, is my ball? And where, I wonder, did this rag come from here?”
Oh God! This rag is exactly what it was! - his balloon!!
- Oh, mom! - said Piglet. - Oh, mom, oh, mommy, oh, mom, mom, mom! Well... There's nothing to do now. There is no going back. I don’t have another balloon... Maybe Eeyore doesn’t like balloons that much?...
And he ran on. To tell the truth, he was no longer running very cheerfully, but still he soon reached the very place where Eeyore stood and still looked at his reflection in the water.
- Good morning, Eeyore! - Piglet shouted from afar.
“Good morning, little Piglet,” said Eeyore. “If this morning is good,” he added, “which I personally doubt.” But it is not important.
“Happy birthday to you,” said Piglet, coming closer in the meantime.
Eeyore looked up from what he was doing and stared at Piglet.
“Repeat, repeat,” he said.
- Congratulations...
- Just a minute...
Having difficulty standing on three legs, Eeyore began to carefully raise his fourth leg to his ear.
“I learned this yesterday,” he explained, falling for the third time. - It’s very simple, and most importantly, I hear better this way. Well, everything is fine. “Just as you said, repeat it,” he said, using his hoof to point his ear forward.
“Happy birthday,” repeated Piglet.
- Are you me?
- Of course, Eeyore.
- Happy birthday?
- Yes.
- So it’s my real birthday?
- Of course, Eeyore, and I brought you a gift.
Eeyore slowly lowered his right leg and, with considerable difficulty, raised his left.
“I want to listen with another ear,” he explained. - Now speak.
- Present! - Piglet repeated very loudly.
- To me?
- Yes.
- For your birthday?
- Certainly!
- So, it’s a real birthday for me?
- Certainly! And I brought you a balloon.
- Balloon? - said Eeyore. - Did you say balloon? They are so big, beautiful, bright, are they still inflated? Songs and dances, gop-gop-gop and trumpet-la-la?
- Well, yes, but just... you see... I’m very upset... you know... when I was running to quickly bring it to you, I fell.
- Ay-ah, what a pity! You probably ran too fast. I hope you're not hurt, little Piglet?
- No, thank you, but he... he... Oh, Eeyore, he burst.
There was a very long silence.
- My ball? - Eeyore finally asked.
Piglet nodded.
- My birthday present?
“Yes, Eeyore,” said Piglet, sniffling slightly. - Here he is. Congratulations on your birthday.
And he gave Eeyore a rubber cloth.
- It is he? - asked Eeyore, very surprised.
Piglet nodded.
- My present?
Piglet nodded again.
- Ball?
- Yes.
“Thank you, Piglet,” said Eeyore. “Sorry, please,” he continued, “but I would like to ask what color he was when... when he was a ball?”
- Red.
“Just think! Red... My favorite color,” Eeyore muttered to himself.
- What size?
- Almost from me.
- Yes? Just think, almost as big as you!... My favorite size! - Eeyore said sadly under his breath. - So-so.
Piglet felt very unwell and didn’t really know what to say. Every now and then he opened his mouth, about to say something, but then decided that this was exactly what he shouldn’t say. And suddenly, to his happiness, someone called out to them from the other bank of the stream. It was Pooh.
- I wish you much, much happiness! - Pooh shouted, apparently forgetting that he had already said this.
“Thank you, Pooh, I’m already lucky,” Eeyore answered sadly.
“I brought you a present,” Pooh continued joyfully.
“I have a gift,” answered Eeyore.
Meanwhile, Pooh crossed the stream and approached Eeyore. Piglet sat a little away, sniffling.

“Here he is,” Pooh announced. - This is a Very Useful Pot. Do you know what is written on it? "Happy birthday, I wish you all the best. Your Pooh." That's how much has been written! And you can put whatever you want in it. Hold it. Eeyore became very animated when he saw the pot.
- Wow! - he shouted. - You know what? My ball will just fit into this pot!
“What are you, what are you, Eeyore,” said Pooh. - Balloons not included in pots. They're too big. You don't know how to handle them. Here's what you need to do: take the ball for faith...
“It’s the other balls that don’t go in, but mine does,” Eeyore said proudly. - Look, Piglet!
Piglet looked around sadly, and Eeyore grabbed his former ball with his teeth and carefully put it in the pot, then he took it out and put it on the ground, and then picked it up again and carefully put it back.
- It turns out! - Pooh shouted. - I mean, he's coming in!
- Comes in! - Piglet shouted. - And it comes out!
- Looks great! - Eeyore shouted. - It goes in and out - it’s absolutely wonderful!
“I’m very pleased,” Pooh said joyfully, “that I thought of giving you a Useful Pot, where you can put whatever things you want!”
“And I’m very pleased,” Piglet said joyfully, “that I thought of giving you such a Thing that you can put in this Useful Pot!”
But Eeyore didn't hear anything. He had no time for that: he either put his ball in the pot, then took it out again, and it was clear that he was completely happy!

- Dear Eeyore! On this significant day, I want to give you free of charge...

Owl

Children love their birthday so much, love and wait. My son starts counting the days until his birthday right from the day after his birthday. Adults, of course, are less joyful about the dates that mark their, so to speak, growing up. Although I have several friends of quite a decent age who have retained their childhood love for this holiday. My mother, a well-known joker in our family, says this on her birthday: “I don’t accept congratulations, I accept condolences.”

I try to be neutral about my birthday, making sure that the joy from the attention of loved ones is balanced with a slight sadness from the fact that I am getting older, and signs of age are reflected in my appearance without asking.

I do not indicate my date of birth in messengers and social media. networks, maybe this is to some extent a manifestation of harmfulness, but I prefer that those who congratulate me on my birthday, for some reason, wanted to do it on their own, and not because the program reminded them of it. It’s stupid, of course, but that’s my “fad.”

This year’s birthday turned out to be very interesting - I received and still receive (a week after my birthday) congratulations from complete strangers to me or from those from whom I did not really expect to receive them. Signs of attention, even insignificant ones, but made sincerely, touch beyond belief. On Sunday, an elderly woman presented me with a wonderful bouquet of tiny tulips (I had never seen anything like them) that she had grown at her dacha.

Only mature men understand the deep meaning of the cartoon “Winnie the Pooh and Eeyore’s Birthday.” After all, only Owl (a woman) can give her cute donkey Eeyore (a man) his own tail for his birthday.

Previously, they wished “success in work and happiness in personal life,”
Now success in business and sex.

I certainly wish you all
Good luck in the educational process
Together with a woman in business,
Together with a man in sex.

Happy holiday, dear women!

Everyone knows the cartoon about Winnie the Pooh. Maybe someone even knows that
The script for this cartoon was written by Boris Zakhoder, a wonderful children's
writer, translator and more. Do you remember the moment when Vinnie asks
Owl to sign a pot as a gift for Eeyore’s birthday, and so
wrote "Happy-birthday-I wish-happiness-in-your-personal-life-Pooh"?
So - it's all a lie. Zakhoder's translation of the fairy tale Owl on the Potty
wrote, quote: ABOUT IN VALUE FUCKING FUCKING SIDE IRASH DAY ABOUT IN VAINING FUCKING FUCKING VLYA! *

But I wonder why this phrase was replaced in the cartoon?

*B. Zakhoder. Winnie the Pooh and all, all, all. On Sat. : Poems and fairy tales. - M.:
"Children's Literature", 1988.

Congratulations to all women on the upcoming March 8th, I wish you happiness,
love and beauty, and also have fun this day and wake up on the 9th
like that:

I woke up. Summer. Morning.
My weight is Net, no Gross.
"Gross" is drying on the fence.
I'm under it, on St. John's wort.

Nearby are vodka, roach, beer,
However, this happened before...
Right now two bottles, fish's tails,
It's strange that they didn't eat.

Tuzik, Tuzik... Good dog!
- Did you bring me the pickle?!
- In a bowl, you have to... - Yours?
- Well, I'm not squeamish.

You are a smart dog to me
- What didn’t work out here yesterday?
- What is my eye now?
- Spoils the profile and full face?

The muscle aches and hurts,
- And there’s a bump on my head.
- And from the left heel of the feet
- My blade is sticking out.

Tuzik! dog! Don't go!
- Take me to the restroom.
- I want to pee because I can’t bear it.
- I’ve been suffering since the very night!

Damn gone...I'll have to be here
- Sit straight under the fence.
- ABOUT! No need to take off your panties
- It’s a joy to be naked!

Well, you need to know and honor,
- Relieved - it's time to eat.
- The sun is in the middle of the sky,
- And I’m still without bread!

I need a scale, a bottle of beer...
Okay, bye! I go shopping!

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