Psychology of success. How to achieve success in life

Do you want to succeed in life, but feel like you're looking in the wrong place? Don't worry - everyone can achieve the life they want for themselves - as long as you think in the right direction, work hard and focus on your main goals. Once you know what you really want, you need to make a plan to get there without letting the daily routine and obstacles get in your way. If you want to know how to be successful in life, start reading Step 1 of this article.

Steps

Thinking in the right direction

Arm yourself with knowledge. You can master any skill and understanding of anything if you start reading about it. You don't have to pay money to read if you visit a public library. You can also find great books at sales and book fairs. The Internet is also created not only for sitting on social networks. There is a lot of knowledge stored there: Economics, Forbes, TED dialogues, etc.

• While reading, you will be able to distract yourself from your own emotions and force the part of your brain responsible for logical thinking to work.
• Reading helps you understand what's going on around you, so you can better cope with daily challenges. Reading develops language skills. This will give you a better chance of getting a job and make it easier for you to communicate with others.

1. Understand what your goals are. Write down on paper what you are working for and how you could use your energy. What efforts are you putting into moving forward, and what do you need to work on to build your future? How do you see your future, and what small goals could you achieve along the way to your main goal? You can figure out what you want through trial and error, but the clearer the picture of your goals you have in front of you, the better.

   Make a list of what you need to do. Write down the top two goals you've previously thought about and create a plan to achieve them. Remember, even if your goals seem big and difficult to achieve, it may take very little to get there.

   Let go of the past. If you are still strongly attached to your past, start letting it go. Forgive those who were guilty before you, and ask for forgiveness from those to whom you were guilty. Get therapy or join a counseling group if you can't cope on your own and need help.

   Look at the world with a positive attitude. Nothing prevents you from achieving your goal like negative emotions that lock up your energy and destroy your hopes! Stay positive or start keeping a gratitude journal where you write down at least 3 positive things that happen to you every day. Be aware of your negative emotions and mindset and try to start thinking differently, more positively.

   • Everything needs balance. However, if negative emotions dominate your life, you will need to experience more positivity later in order to achieve balance.
   • It's normal to feel upset when you have setbacks. But if you can develop a positive attitude towards life, you will be much better able to cope with failure. This way you won't see failure as the end of the world.

2. Learn to cope with stress. You may be under stress and therefore unable to think positively. If your stress levels are getting out of control, your priority should be to learn how to cope and manage your stress before you do anything else. Here are some ways to better manage your stress:

   Follow your own path. Perhaps your parents want you to do something in life that they enjoy. Perhaps most of your former classmates or classmates are doing one thing, and you think that you should do it too. Perhaps your life partner has his own point of view on what you should do. These can all be great things, but at the end of the day, you have to choose what will make you happy, not what others want for you. If you haven't made your choice yet, that's okay, but you should make it your goal to find something that makes you happy and where you can use all your talents and abilities.

   • This doesn't mean you have to go out and be a rock star, even if you have no talent for it, and still have a family of 5 to feed. You need to find a way to combine the practical side of the issue with your desires, the fulfillment of which will bring you satisfaction.

3. Take advice from someone who has already done this before you. If you want to succeed in any field, the best way to start, whether you want to be an engineer, a financial analyst or an actor, is to talk to someone who has already worked in that field and knows all the ropes. Whether this person is a member of your family, a boss at work, a teacher, or a friend of a friend, if you have the opportunity to talk to him, listen to every word he says, especially what he says about how to succeed in this field. what experience is required for this, who you need to make acquaintances with, etc.

   • This person may not give you the perfect advice to achieve your dreams, but you should benefit from talking to them.

4. Find profitable tactics in your work. You, of course, think that all your work looks pathetic and meaningless, and that thanks to your talent you can succeed yourself. This is an excellent, but very idealized vision of things. In reality, if you want to succeed, you have to play by the rules. Observe and understand who really runs things in your workplace. Try to win this person over without sucking up too much. Understand what skills are truly valuable in your job and develop them. Remember that some people shouldn't be argued with, even if you don't agree with their ideas.

   • Sometimes getting involved in the office game can feel disgusting and unnatural. Just think that you are doing this to achieve higher goals. The main thing is not to sacrifice your principles just to be in the game.

   Let's start to act

   1. Make friends who make you happy. Good friendship, in which there is concern for each other, is the basis of a healthy life! Friends are a source of strength and knowledge when you have setbacks. Friends can help you find the right opportunities and solutions to your problems.

      Grow your social networks. It doesn't matter what field you work in - success is who you know. Be friendly with your bosses, but don't scare them off with intentions of real friendship. Attend conferences and seminars, trying to meet as many people in your field as possible. As soon as you meet someone, have your business card ready, shake the person's hand firmly, and look them in the eyes. Flatter people without sucking up to them. Learn to talk about your activities briefly, in one sentence, so that people are impressed. Don't worry about this; it's all just part of the game.

      • You never know who might be useful to you in the future. Don't embarrass yourself by sucking up to everyone above you and neglecting those below you.

   2. Do the hard work. To succeed does not mean starting from the top. This means starting the race from the very bottom with uncertain, inexperienced players and gradually moving with confidence to the top. Therefore, in the beginning you must be prepared to do a lot of work for a small amount of money. Don't think that being a leader or a boss is your birthright. This is wrong. You will have to give it your all, even if you feel that you are too smart for your job or that you would be better off using your creativity in a higher position. Use your creativity when you can, work as hard as you can, and maybe the right people will notice.

      • This does not mean that you need to invest all your soul and time into work that means absolutely nothing to you if it is not a bridge to your cherished goal. But, if you know that investing your time and effort into working in a less-than-ideal position can lead you to your goal, then it’s probably worth going to all the trouble.
      • If it seems to you that doing the hardest work is not easy at all, try doing it with a smile on your face. This way, you'll be respected more if you appear happy at your job instead of acting like you deserve so much more.

   3. Become an expert. Whether you are an expert at using Google Docs documents or the best graphic designer on a project, the main thing is to learn how to do something better than anyone else in your company. Then they will respect you, they will come to you when they need help, and they will think of you as an irreplaceable person. If you are the only one in the office with any skill, then your workplace is safe.

      • Find something you're really interested in and spend a little extra time learning about it. You may not get paid for the extra time you spend at work, but the effort you put in will pay off in the future.
      • Don't be afraid to take on projects or commitments that aren't directly related to your field. If your boss is smart, he will appreciate your enthusiasm and desire (as long as it doesn't interfere with your day job).

   4. Give priority to in-person meetings. Research shows that 66% of managers and senior executives prefer to talk in person instead of discussing issues over Skype, phone or email. And despite millennials' preference for email as a means of exchanging information, you can break away from the crowd and have face-to-face conversations with your boss and other colleagues in the company.

      • And, of course, you must fit into the corporate culture of your company. If you work at a super-trendy startup where everyone communicates only via Skype, you don’t need to scare everyone with your style of face-to-face meetings.

   5. There is no need to sacrifice the present for future career happiness. Doing menial work is inevitable, but you should never feel like 100% of the work you do is just terrible, depressing, and makes you sick. You must derive at least some benefit and satisfaction from what you do. You never know if your current job will be useful to you in the future, and you may have to spend years doing something you hate. Even if there's a bucket of gold waiting for you at the other end of the rainbow, it's not worth it if you have to walk through barbed wire to get there.

      Stop waiting for the right time. Whether you have a dream of starting your own business, writing a novel, or starting a non-profit organization, yes, of course, you cannot give up everything and fulfill your dream in one day. However, you shouldn't wait for the right moment to just start pursuing your dreams. You may be waiting to start after some big event - the wedding you've been planning all year, paying off your mortgage this summer - that's all great, but you can't wait forever for the right moment when nothing else stands in your way . Otherwise you will wait forever.

      • If you always have a reason not to do what you really want to do, then those are just excuses.
      • Start small. Yes, you can't quit your job and paint all day long until you save enough money. But what stops you from spending 1 hour a day drawing? So in total you will get 7 hours a week - and this is a lot.

   Focus

   1. Take care of your health. Don’t let your physical and mental health deteriorate just because you want to open your own business. If you truly want to succeed in life, then your health, not the amount of money in the bank, should always come first. No matter how busy you are, there are a number of things you should do to stay healthy in body and mind:

   2. Don't forget about other parts of your life. Your career may seem like the most important thing on earth right now, but that doesn't mean you can completely ignore your family, friends, relationships, or any other obligations. You must learn to balance all these components in your life, otherwise everything will start to fall apart. You may feel like you should be devoting all your time to a project at work now, but when your girlfriend leaves you, you'll start biting your elbows and thinking that you wish you could have found a work-life balance earlier.

      • Keep a schedule and make sure to reserve time for friends, family and loved ones. It may not be the most romantic or natural thing to plan a date or make time for the kids, but this way you won't miss out on anything and will ensure that you don't have work to do during that time.

   3. Consider failures as invaluable experience. Don't spend your life being terrified of the mistakes you've made. Failure is a part of life, it will make you stronger and teach you skills to deal with difficulties. If you have known nothing but success in life, how can you respond when things go wrong? This again comes down to a positive outlook on things. You don't have to jump for joy when something doesn't work out, but you don't have to hate yourself for it either.

      Don't forget about fun. Achieving your goals, making your dreams come true, etc. - all this is very important. But just as important is laughing with friends, shooting water pistols or cooking Italian cuisine. It's important to take time to do completely stupid things, try something new or laugh, and spend time with the people you love most. It won't help you become the CEO of your company, but it will help you have a fresh perspective on things, make you relax instead of thinking that life is all work, and help you relax instead of working 24/7.

      • Having fun can actually help you achieve success in life if you have fun in moderation. Find time each day to take your mind off work, projects, and career goals and focus on living in the moment. Being able to have fun at the same time as building a career - now we have come to the real definition of what it means to succeed in life.

What does success in life depend on? How to achieve everything?

Step 1: Use the power of your imagination

In your free time from work, engage in visualization¹. Visualize your success, think about success. Draw in your imagination a new image of yourself - a person who has achieved his goals and achieved success in life.

Step 2: Repeat Affirmations

To make thoughts of success become part of you, repeat positive affirmations daily that inspire you. Do this at any convenient time. Say affirmations² as often as possible. Concentrate on them. This will help you program your subconscious mind to win.

Step 3: Work hard

To achieve success in life, you need to work. Nothing just happens like that. You need activity, purposeful movement towards your dream. But at the same time, you don’t need to overexert yourself. Find your rhythm and alternate work and rest.

Step 4: Plan

Success comes to those people who know how to manage their time. Make planning a habit. This way you will increase the productivity of your work and will not waste time on trifles.

Step 5: Take the first step

Don't put off your first step until tomorrow. Make it today. And then take more steps³. And so on until the very finish.

Step 6. Don’t forget about self-hypnosis

Regularly use various self-hypnosis techniques. Set yourself up for success. Properly motivate yourself every day. Let new information be written into your subconscious that you can achieve success. Believe it. Believe in yourself and your enormous capabilities.

Step 7: Have a Clear Goal

Step 8: Go all the way

Do not give up! Don't let failure stop you! If you start something, go to the end. Take temporary defeat calmly, learn from it and move on.

Step 9: Serve Others

If you want to be successful, your goal should be to help other people, not to accumulate wealth. Think about people, provide them with useful goods and services, and perceive money as a reward for your work.

Step 10. Change

In order for success to smile on you, you need to constantly grow and develop. You need to gain new knowledge and engage in self-development. Success must be matched by a worthy person.

Step 11. Give thanks for every achievement.

Rejoice in your successes, and there will be more of them. This is one of the most important lessons! Use it regularly. Thank the Higher Powers for your achievements, and success will definitely come!

Today I decided to list my personal life principles on how to achieve my goal. I try to stick to them, whether it works or not... well, I try. 🙂

Perhaps someone has their own experience and I'd love to hear it, so feel free to comment. It's not just about achieving goals in work, but in life in general. Creativity, personal life, sports, raising children, whatever. In my opinion, the most important thing is not to burn out in the flames of enthusiasm at first and not to get stuck in the swamp of routine later. So, let's begin.

1. Ignore criticism. There is no useful criticism, no matter what anyone says. An assessment of another person, even an authoritative and competent one, is only a subjective opinion. No one will appreciate your work better than you. Be demanding of yourself: if you admit that everything turned out well and you are not ashamed of what you are doing, then this means that the chosen direction is the right one.

Do not enter into arguments with critics, do not try to justify your position - this blurs your attention and brings doubts. “Don’t let the noise of other people’s opinions drown out your inner voice,” said Steve Jobs and he was right a thousand times.

2. Study other people's experiences. Some may think that this point contradicts the previous one, but this is not so. Other people's experience is a source of invaluable knowledge and inspiration, but know how to use it. Don't take on everything you learn: only seek advice when you really need it. Specific advice means its specific implementation in your work. No knowledge for the future - without immediate practice, it is not only useless, but also harmful.

3. Do only things that give you real pleasure. Make sure that your favorite job brings you money at least for food, but don’t stop thinking about how to increase your professional level and income. If you are persistent and consistent, you will sooner or later achieve what you want. There are no areas where a real specialist cannot earn money. Passion for what you do and sincere interest is a reinforced concrete battering ram that nothing can resist.

4. Don't go deep into theory until you've had at least basic practice. Don’t carry tons of information into your head about the subject you are going to study. Don't go to seminars with people who teach something they've never done professionally. Don’t ask the billionaire for secrets about how he made his first million, ask Vasya how he opened his first stall.

Someone may say something like: if you want to earn a million, you need to earn a million. This is nothing more than a beautiful phrase; in fact, behind every million there are their own “stalls”. Get a job in the field in which you are going to do business - even the smallest practice is worth a big theory.

5. Perceive movement towards the goal not as a decisive battle, but as a long war. Many people mistakenly believe that achieving a goal is a result, but in fact it is a continuous process. It is impossible to get what you really want with one single effort of will and strength. The high jump is preceded by running, but in the standings we will not see how fast the athlete ran, we will only see the height of the jump. Someone's success seems like a clearly calibrated plan, whereas before that there was a long series of hesitations, failures and failed projects, which allowed him to accumulate experience.

The Rovio company, which earned millions from Angry Birds, is seen by many as an example of super-success: the guys got together, wrote a game and the next day woke up rich and famous. In fact, there were six years of hard work before the birds, when Rovio released other games that did not find much popularity. And only knowledge and experience led them to a real breakthrough.

The process of moving towards a goal is cyclical, the next stagnation is actually the accumulation of experience, which, like a straightened spring, will allow you to move to a higher level. Don’t be afraid to lose a single battle, never despair, think strategically and remember one thing: “I will achieve my goal.”

6. Don't look for an original idea. When “business coaches” inspire their students that there is no point in doing what other people have already done, but that they need to look for some unoccupied niche that will allow them to instantly get rich, then they are simply saying what they want to hear from them. People are very pleased to think that somewhere in the information field of the planet there are fundamentally new ideas that just need to be thought of, and then it’s all in the bag.

In fact, all ideas that seem to come out of nowhere to an outside observer are the result of the development of someone's experience and knowledge. Nothing arises out of emptiness; a new idea always appears on the basis of practice. The concept of the iPhone emerged during the development of the iPad, as a result of the experience and intuition of Steve Jobs and his team. Newton discovered his law of gravity not because an apple fell on his head, but because he constantly thought about this topic.

If you want to spend your life dreaming about great things, keep looking for a super idea. If you want to achieve something, start small. Study the usual average examples, because if they work for their owners, they can work for you. More practice, less ambition.

If you want to change your life, follow my example and get on a bike. The world will show itself from a different side. Check out the section " "

7. Don't change direction at the first failure. Some time after the start of any activity, the basic charge of enthusiasm ends, and it will probably seem to you that the chosen niche is not the most lucrative, the direction is a dead end, etc. It may seem that you are not suitable for this activity, that there is no progress and will not be made.

Categorically stop the psyche’s attempts to disperse attention to many objects. Don't panic, be patient and continue in the same direction. You need to go through at least several cycles of enthusiasm/apathy in order to accumulate real experience about your niche and understand how to achieve your goal here. If you rush from one idea to another, nothing will work out at all.

8. Look not only up, but also to the sides. It happens that after a long time you really understand that you cannot succeed in your field. There is no talent, there is not enough time, and most importantly, there is no desire. In this case, you shouldn’t throw away everything you’ve developed, but you just need to look around and see where else you can apply your knowledge.

One of my friends, tired of two decades of teaching at school, went free as a tutor. She did exactly what she liked, studied psychology in depth and sincerely fell in love with her new occupation. As a result, in a few years her income skyrocketed compared to the school salary, and it was possible to sign up for her classes only after a long waiting list. This is a great example of looking around when there seems to be no way up.

9. Don't regret the past, don't worry about the future. You should never think about what happened or, on the contrary, did not happen. Yes, almost every person understands that if they had done something differently, then now everything would be completely different. This is fine. This is exactly the experience I talk about all the time. Don’t give a damn - you can’t change this, and as practice shows, you won’t even be able to draw a conclusion. You will probably step on the same rake again.

It's the same with the future. What's the point of taking care of him, making detailed plans, calculating every step. All the same, all these developments will be destroyed at the first collision with reality. All planning must come from daily practice, as a reaction to what is happening. The general plan should not be unshakable; never force yourself into a framework.

10. Envy successful people. Strange advice, isn't it? 🙂 In fact, it is very useful if you use it constructively. I don't believe in white or black envy, these are just different shades of the same emotion. Anyone who sees a more successful competitor will feel a pang of envy - this is a normal human reaction. It is necessary not to restrain this feeling, but to direct it in the right direction. Carefully study your competitors, understand what they do, who helps them and what, analyze which of their techniques can work in your business.

11. Use every day. A very important rule that is ignored by almost everyone. I can judge from my own experience that achieving a goal is usually perceived as a kind of brainstorming, mobilization of all strength and will. All this is accompanied by a powerful surge of enthusiasm. Everything is boiling around, the work is burning in your hands, but... after a while apathy sets in, disbelief that the result is even achievable.

So, instead of gushing with enthusiasm, moving mountains, immediately make it a point for yourself that in addition to all the feats, you are obliged to do part of some routine work every day. And then, when your exploits in the workplace fade away, these small steps will take you to your goal, sooner or later. For example, if you are writing a book and you come up with an idea for another, much more ingenious one, then in addition to many hours of thinking, do not forget to write several chapters of the old one, even if now it seems boring and uninteresting to you. If you quit, then exactly the same thing will happen to the new book.

12. Don't expect 100% readiness. How often do people refuse to realize their desires just because, as it seems to them, they are not ready yet. Analyzing my experience, I can say that everything I did in my life, I did precisely when I was unprepared for it. If you have any doubts about your readiness, just brush them aside. A person sitting in one place is unable to understand whether he is ready or not. Almost always, what you imagined “on the shore” turns out to be very far from what is “at sea”.

There is no such thing as complete readiness and there cannot be, especially when it comes to the implementation of ideas. Here I can only cite the motto of a man I respect very much, Richard Branson: “To hell with everything, get on with it and do it.” That’s exactly it - take it and do it, don’t think about whether you’re ready or not. You will understand in the process. Otherwise you will sit and wait. All life.

13. Acknowledge your shortcomings, but don't let them take over. We must honestly admit our weaknesses, but this does not mean that we can indulge them. If you are lazy, then the worst thing you can do is say: “yes, it’s true, nothing will help me, I won’t achieve anything.” On the contrary, if you are pathologically lazy, strain your brain to automate routine work or push it onto someone else.

If you are aggressive and get angry easily, take up amateur sports. There you will not only be able to get relief, but will also achieve some results thanks to these negative qualities. If you have a bad memory, train, learn languages. Unlike a person with normal memory, who would never even think of sitting down to study textbooks, you will at least be able to express yourself in a foreign language if you show persistence.

14. Don’t dismiss other people’s experiences for personal reasons.. There is an opinion that there are certain “unethical” methods used by MLMs, NLP specialists, “black” businessmen, etc. This is all nonsense - there is a tool, but how to use it is up to the person himself. You shouldn’t dismiss the experience of all these sectarians, if only because it really works. Underneath the external “gypsyism” there is a lot of psychology: probably no one has more practice on how to train oneself to achieve results, how to subordinate other people to one’s goal.

Take a closer look at any working methods, try to understand how they work. The human psyche is the same everywhere, whether it concerns grandmothers selling dietary supplements or selling limousines to the rich. You can always apply something to your specific needs; you should not neglect such experience just because its bearers evoke bad feelings in you.

15. Think. Perhaps this point should have been put first, but let it be as it is. Unfortunately, most of our time at work is consumed by routine and routine, so we have almost no opportunity to think about our business. And this is very important: we need to constantly think about what we are doing, analyze, compare with competitors, and look for new facets.

If you constantly think in the right direction, then new thoughts will definitely appear, and then you yourself will be surprised that you walked around for so long and could not think of it. And it’s simple - modern people very, very rarely consciously use their brain, acting daily according to the action-reaction scheme. The brain adjusts to working according to a pattern and filters all ideas so as not to lose its rhythm.

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It often seems to us that success is about someone else, and not about us. Successful women marry great men, give birth to healthy children, get good jobs, and earn a lot of money. Apparently, they are just born lucky, and nothing can be done about it. But that's not true!

Secrets of success in everything

“If you really want to, you can fly into space,” these are the words of a famous song. The basis for achieving success is inner intention. This is not just a burning desire or a thoughtful goal - it is deeper. Desires and goals are controlled by the mind, but emotions and intentions are controlled by the soul.

It’s good when you have a goal and desire - this is the first step towards success (many people don’t even dare to take it, believing that it’s a shame to want success). But from lying on the couch, dreaming about success, you need to move on to action - this is the second secret to achieving success in everything. You must be willing to take steps in the direction you choose.

You must want to achieve the goal so that your desire turns into intention. Personal obstacles often arise here. Most people are comfortable living the way they live. Deep down in their hearts, they like to be lazy and do nothing, because success is not only achievements, wealth and other pleasant things. Success is hard work, endless generation of ideas, failures on the way to their implementation, responsibility and many other efforts that these people do not want to undertake.

Hard work is another secret to achieving success in everything. Think of famous successful people: Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Henry Ford, Thomas Edison - they all spent thousands of hours making their dreams come true. Hard, painstaking work from early morning until late at night brought them to this point, and not by daydreaming or lying on the couch. Of course, sometimes it was difficult for them, but they overcame all obstacles thanks to the energy that their goal gave them. They saw it in perspective and were not afraid to rework it.

An important thing that underlies any successful endeavor is confidence in yourself and your goal. The universe is designed on the principle of saving energy and resources, and luck is the living embodiment of this idea.

But the mind gives rise to obstacles and contradictions, and perceives any deviation from the intended plan as the collapse of all hopes and gives a signal for surrender. The universe is limitless in its possibilities, and anything can happen - even a million in your bank account. Not even that - you will have it if you are sure of it and start taking steps in the right direction.

What does success mean to you? Wealth, family, love, friendship, career, fame - all these things are more concrete than abstract success. This is what your goal should be - specific and positive. First, you must imagine it in every detail, without thinking about how to achieve it. Then think about who you are in this future: strong, brave, educated, cunning or analytical. These are qualities you need to develop in the present to be successful. Finally, think about what could help you achieve your goal. The journey of a thousand steps begins with the first, so start at least a small task that will bring you closer to your goal.

Go to school. To succeed in anything, you need a constant flow of knowledge. So read on. If you don’t like reading, go to courses or lectures. If you don’t like going to courses or lectures, travel. If you can’t travel, communicate with different people. Look for any information on your topic, absorb it every second of your free time. There is no such thing as too much knowledge, and you never know what will be useful and what will not. Do not spare money on your education; this is the only smart and effective investment.

Become the author of your life. What is the difference between the lucky ones and the unlucky ones? The fact that they create their own lives, without reconciling with fate or other external circumstances. When they encounter an obstacle in their life, they ask themselves two questions: How and why did I do this? Give it a try. It will be difficult at first, but soon it will become a habit, and before you know it, you will begin to reap the first fruits of your success. The author's position on life does not allow for long, mournful explanations of why something doesn't work out for you - you just have to find a way to overcome the obstacle.

How to achieve success in your personal life

A strategy for finding happiness in your personal life can be aggressive and assertive, or it can be soft, meek, that is, purely feminine.

In many ways, all problems in relationships with men are associated with femininity, or rather, with its lack. You simply don’t feel your feminine part, you don’t perceive yourself as a woman. This is manifested in such character traits as persistence, toughness, aggressiveness, rationality in actions, thoughts and other masculine qualities. Men simply don't see you as a woman and therefore don't want to form a relationship.

Develop femininity. There are a lot of courses and schools dedicated to strengthening your feminine side. You can observe the one who is an example of femininity for you and try to adopt her behavior: facial expressions, gestures, postures, gait. See what actions of hers “catch” men the most, try to do the same. How do you feel? If you are comfortable, then femininity for you is a matter of training. If not, then it’s worth thinking: what’s stopping you from being feminine? Perhaps it’s due to some attitudes that you learned as a child, for example, “all girls are fools” or “flirtating is stupid or undignified.” Sometimes it is enough to discover such an idea and realize its inconsistency with reality, and sometimes the help of a psychologist is required.

Often, self-doubt becomes the key to failure in your personal life. It happens that a woman comes to see a psychologist - she is smart, beautiful, cooks well - but her relationships with men do not work out. She doesn't believe that she is worthy of a man. Working on yourself in this case may take some time, because it is impossible to radically change a person’s personality in an instant.

But there is a way out: do what you are good at. Achieve small intermediate successes - they are not so noticeable, but they can give you strength and self-confidence. Come up with, or rather, find your own twist. For example, you have visited different parts of the world or know everything about the construction of a tram. Realizing this will help you believe in your own attractiveness, and then interest from men is just around the corner.

Many women are prevented from continuing to communicate with men by traumatic past experiences. For example, if a previous gentleman deceived you and started an affair with your friend. Or he resisted building a serious relationship for several years, and then ran away to his mother. In such situations, a woman thinks: “All men are theirs...” and puts an end to her personal life. But it's not right! You need to understand the reasons for failures on the love front: it is possible that you are simply unlucky, and you need to turn your attention to examples of successful relationships.

However, it happens that a woman herself subconsciously chooses “the wrong men.” She, of course, likes the family idyll of her friend Masha, but for some reason she herself falls for handsome men without a penny in their pocket and no clear plans for the future. Here you need to realize the problem and understand what you want: family happiness, Latin American passions, insipid stability or something else. And choose such men.

Sometimes failures in your personal life are due to the fact that there is a fear of a serious relationship. And every time things start to go their way, you back down, look for flaws in your partner and proudly burn all your bridges. A long-term relationship with a man is not only happiness. This also means responsibility, changes in life, the ability to compromise, and emotionally invest in communication. Not everyone wants this, but some are afraid. Then awareness is again the key to achieving success. Only by realizing how you purposefully break off relationships can you change your life for the better. Accept difficulties as inevitable, coming up with a way to cope with them.

Understanding masculine nature is another important condition for success in your personal life. You cannot approach men the same way as women - they are different. They have a different mindset, life priorities, they react differently to everything that happens to them. Men are hunters by nature, they enjoy the process of courting and conquering a woman. Therefore, girls who have “looking for a partner” written on their foreheads may have problems on the love front due to availability!

Or let's take another example. A woman tells her partner a story about an evil boss, and instead of feeling sorry for her, he begins to give some advice. Men are designed in such a way that they try to immediately find a solution to a problem. It is not customary for them to support and sympathize with each other. The result of such a contradiction between the sexes is alienation or a break in relationships in the near future. The way out is in the ability to understand and feel each other. Then success in your personal life will not take long to arrive.

How to Succeed at Work

The status of a beloved wife is not the limit of all dreams for everyone. Since the mid-twentieth century, we have had the same rights as men. And the right to work and build a career too. Career growth has long been considered the privilege of men, and an aggressively assertive male style of behavior is appropriate in this matter. But you can combine it with a purely feminine ability to establish contacts, and then you will have no equal in the professional field.

The secret to career success is the ability to interact with other people. In any work, properly organized communication accounts for up to ninety percent of effectiveness. You simply must be able to find a common language with different people: noisy, quiet, smart, stupid, hot-tempered, calm. Of course, if professional self-realization is important to you. This skill is based on understanding and acceptance of other people as they are, and this is already a certain personal maturity.

Intolerance causes condemnation in us, which breaks contact. Here the question of the effectiveness of communication arises: you can scold, reject the behavior of another person, but what then can you get from him? Any interaction is aimed at achieving some goal, and if you cannot get along with your partner, failure and lack of success await you as a consequence. Not the most joyful prospect! Communication skills can be developed through psychological training, but the most interesting material for learning is provided by life itself.

Think about what position will become a symbol of success for you. What do you lack to get it? Often this turns out to be a lack of experience and some knowledge, skills, abilities. Start studying, and at the same time gain the work experience you need so much. Statistics show that HR managers give greater preference to people who have tried to do something in practice than to those who studied it at the institute. There is no need to shun the positions of assistants or assistants - this is an opportunity to become more competent and acquire the necessary connections.

Now the employer is trying to buy a multifunctional specialist with his own money, for example, an HR manager with an education in both psychology and economics. Such personnel are especially valued, because they can understand all the intricacies of the work process.

For the sake of career success, you will have to give up something. For example, from being able to leave work at exactly six o'clock, real heights in the profession are achieved by those who worked a lot of overtime. In the process of career growth, you will most likely have to go towards your goal, despite rejection and condemnation from the outside. In our country, they don’t really like active, energetic people, especially when they achieve success. Therefore, you will have to come to terms with sidelong glances addressed to you - they will be inevitable companions of success.

• Make a plan before you start doing anything. This is not a waste of time, but an attempt to structure your activities. There is a well-known metaphor: “an elephant can be eaten in pieces.” Its essence comes down to the fact that when you break one large complex task into many small ones, then achieving the final goal is easier for you. Your plan should be detailed and understandable; it should include intermediate tasks and goals, their sequence, and deadlines for their implementation. It also creates discipline, because when you set boundaries for yourself, you can no longer be lazy as easily as you could before making a plan.
• Use swot analysis. This is an analysis of a problem, situation or project. It includes the strengths and weaknesses of the object. This is another way of structuring a problem, allowing you to get a detailed description of it and come up with a solution.
• Meet other people halfway, do small favors for them. This is a good way to acquire the necessary connections. Usually people do not forget the favors others have done to them and want to repay them in the future. And who knows at what moment and in what form you will need someone’s help?
• Ability to receive feedback. Of course, each of us likes to listen to flattering reviews about ourselves. They bring undeniable benefits - they increase our self-esteem and add self-confidence. You need to be able to accept compliments and praise correctly; you shouldn’t deny them and turn everything into a joke. On the contrary, you need to hear what a person says good about you and thank him for his feedback. But negative feedback about your work is even more useful than positive feedback. This is valuable information, and they may give it to you for nothing. Therefore, when someone criticizes your work, you should not be offended by him or yourself. It’s better to listen carefully to what he says and make a list of growth points for yourself.
• Keep the promises you make. A fulfilled promise will add bonuses to your karma and bring you some fruits in the future. Therefore, do not take on something that you cannot do, no matter how awkward it may be for you, because it will be worse later when you do not live up to the natural expectations of this person. There are situations when it is impossible to do what was promised, then your duty is to warn about this in advance and explain why this time everything went wrong.
• Find your mentor. Remember your internship at the institute? It’s one thing when something is explained to you in theory, and quite another when you learn something in practice, and under the strict guidance of a person who can give you high-quality feedback. Although it happens differently when you simply learn from someone whose success is an example for you. Such a person knows how to go from an idea to an achieved goal, and what pitfalls await you.
• Look for fresh ideas. You shouldn’t sit and wait for something good to fall on your head - you need to get off the couch yourself, find it, and if it doesn’t work out, then do it yourself. The likelihood of finding something worthwhile increases if you are constantly on your guard on the Internet, brainstorming, reading autobiographies of famous people, at worst.

How to quickly achieve your goal

People who know how to achieve their goal claim that to achieve it you need:

• Perseverance.
• Hard work.
• Optimism.
• Self confidence.
• Persistence.
• Positive thinking.

Not all of us have all these qualities. All of them help in building a career and in your personal life. However, it is enough to possess at least two of them, so that later, realizing that the goal is real, you can develop the rest. We just need to realize that nothing is impossible; if we set a goal for ourselves, it means we have the ability to achieve it.

One of the conditions for achieving goals is to erase from your head memories of the past, regrets about something not done before. It is impossible to go back to the past and change anything. And the memories that cause worries take away from us the strength that is very necessary when, having achieved success, we are determined to hold on to the end.

The next condition for successfully pursuing your goals is to stop being upset over trifles, whining, complaining about the lack of a career or success in your personal life, believing that neither one nor the other is working out. If something doesn’t work out for us, then it’s time to acquire new knowledge or skills.

The benefits of fear

Oddly enough, fear is an effective means for performing actions equivalent to feats. He opens up sources of strength in us that we didn’t even suspect existed. Let's remember the famous story about a mother who was able to move and hold a multi-ton truck, saving her child from death. What gave a fragile woman the opportunity to lift an unimaginable weight? Fear for my son. And what allows a skinny boy to fight off an attack by a drunk company? Fear for your life. Finally, what drives another already successful person, forcing him to repeat to himself “Be successful again” and move on? The same fear of losing authority and comfort.

Conclusion: if we lack persistence or self-confidence, we need a kick in the form of fear. This is a magical, albeit not particularly pleasant way to achieve effective results. Each of us in a critical situation can activate the forces within ourselves, with the help of which on the way to the goal we can simply sweep away all obstacles without even noticing them. If we are looking for ways to achieve success in life, we are ready to get out of the boring zone of inertia, but we just don’t dare to do this, we need to consciously look for motivation to fear.

The purpose of such motivations is to cause fear of inaction, to force a person to commit actions that are atypical for him. Motivations are based on the principle: “I’m scared, I have to do something, because no one else can do it better than me!” In this way, we create a very powerful incentive to action, and, having taken some steps under the influence of fear, having won, we ultimately gain self-confidence and cease to be afraid of contrived difficulties.

Fear can be used as an effective technique to achieve goals. One problem: not every one of us will decide to consciously seek motivation for it.

Achieving significant life changes does not require any kind of global action. Even small steps can give results. The point of these steps is to change your attitude towards life and your way of thinking. They consist of the following actions:

1. We monitor our speech and try to remove from our vocabulary phrases that can destroy our enthusiasm. We replace them with new, positive phrases. It is necessary to eliminate from everyday life such expressions as “everything is as always”, “nothing new”, “I can’t do it”, “no one needs this”, “I don’t want anything”, “I have to”. They can paralyze part of our consciousness and instill in us a feeling of hopelessness and personal failure.
2. We look for something in every passing day for which we can thank our fate, we express our gratitude to it every day for what we have already experienced, for what we have today, even for what we do not have. This will allow you not to get used to the achieved well-being and move forward. By constantly cultivating a sense of gratitude to fate, we learn to think positively and not dwell on the failures of past years.
3. Every morning, when we wake up, we repeat to ourselves that the best day of all the days we have already lived is beginning, and we try to remember this until the evening.
4. We are trying to master, at least a little, an area that, as we were previously convinced, was completely inaccessible to us. Discovering new abilities, each person experiences elation, a surge of internal strength, and an uncontrollable desire for action. Thanks to all this, he unconsciously finds the shortest path to success and walks along this path without stress.
5. We find our main goals by first finding out what makes us cry with joy, how we can make others smile, what these people see as our abilities, what makes us laugh sincerely, what has changed us for the better, what we can work on all night long. This helps us find a goal, the achievement of which will make us truly happy.
6. Let's take it for granted that difficulties pass, and changes in life occur gradually, let's make a list of what is worth doing every day.

How to develop willpower

There are many ways to strengthen willpower, each of which is designed for specific circumstances and inclinations of a person. We will now look at five universal effective techniques for developing willpower.

Human willpower is not limitless, and we try to use it by choosing the path of least resistance. When we have a poor idea of ​​how to succeed at work, using our willpower to the fullest, we start working for days, and as a result we will lose. The energy of willpower is an impulse that will flare up, push us out of place, and then burn a little and go out.

Willpower cannot be a constant fuel. It is necessary to create a plan from a chain of events that contribute to the organization of forces and advancement in the right direction with their measured use. By doing what we set out to do every day, we gradually accustom ourselves to the rhythm of our actions, and as a result, even complex work becomes familiar and comes easy to us.

If there is a temptation to leave the intended path to the goal, you want to give up everything, collapse on the sofa until better times, we begin to think about our prospects. The best way to increase self-control is to imagine long-term goals and distract yourself from the temptations of the current moment. For example, we dream about how we achieve success in our career, how we occupy a good, highly paid position.

At the moment, we have the opportunity to relax at sea, and we really want to quit work and lie on the beach. However, such an act means the ruin of a career, and the future will become blurred and doubtful. Is it worth doing? Hardly. Therefore, in order to destroy temptation, we begin to think about our prospects, and interest in the object of temptation will immediately drop.

We make up a sentence that affirms the achievement of the goal, and mentally repeat it as often as possible. Such repetition, stating the goal as an accomplished fact, is the most effective way to strengthen willpower. How to do it? For example, if we understand how to achieve success in business, but it is tempting to spend the starting capital on buying a car, then we can constantly repeat to ourselves: “My business is thriving.” Consciousness itself will switch from the car to the problems of an existing business, and buying a car will be relegated to the background.

Every day we think about our goals for at least a few minutes, directing the vector of willpower towards the path to achieving them. Such daily thinking leaves its mark in the memory responsible for our emotional level, which contributes to the choice of the direction in which we will use our willpower.

Oddly enough, it may sound, but to strengthen willpower you need to have a good breakfast. This is explained by the fact that willpower is energy, the replenishment of which requires a large amount of glucose. Researchers say that a person who has been in a state of self-control for a long time has a significant decrease in blood glucose levels.

An insufficient amount of it may be the reason that when you need to pull yourself together, a person simply cannot do it. Willpower must be fueled, otherwise it will dry up at the right moment. And to do this, you should eat foods in the morning that allow you to maintain the desired level of glucose in your blood.

All these techniques are simple and do not require any special conditions for their implementation. This path will bring many surprises, surprises, it can change your life, habits, even life values. Such changes sometimes become causes of uncertainty and misunderstanding of one’s role in the current circumstances. There is nothing scary about this - we just have to adapt to the new environment, realize where our place is now.

During the adaptation period, a sense of humor, physical exercise, regular good rest, and communication with friends and family help reduce stress. The main thing at this time is to boldly step forward and never look back. Memories of the past will give rise to doubts about the correctness of the goal, and doubts, in turn, can lead to significant losses. To prevent this from happening, you need to calmly and deeply analyze the situation in order to thoroughly know all its pros and cons and get guidelines. Let’s tell ourselves: “This path to the goal was chosen by me independently.” And we resolutely go to her, discarding unnecessary speculation.

What can make you a failure?

If you want to succeed, you must have a strong understanding of what could limit your potential and lead to failure.

So, successful people reject:

False Beliefs

These are misconceptions about external factors or about yourself. An example of a false belief is the following situation: a person does not allow himself to set a goal - “achieve the best job!” Instead, he thinks: “I’ll never be able to find a good job these days!” False beliefs act as a limiter to your potential, and therefore your success. Not only can they limit you, but they can also ruin your life.

External locus of control

This is a way of thinking that makes a person believe that everything that happens to him depends not on him, but on some external factors. For example, when a girl says that the teacher was too nagging at her when she failed to do well on an exam; or when your friend says that she cannot find a good job because there is unemployment in the country - these are all examples of external locus of control.

Lack of stamina

What good is it if you have a lot of strengths and valuable skills if you lose hope after the first (well, in extreme cases, the second) failure? Those people who achieve the best results are the most resilient of all. They continue to work until the very end until they get what they want, even if everything was against them, even if failure overtook them many times.

Lack of flexibility

Flexibility is a person’s ability to adapt to external conditions. This is an opportunity to try to do something in a new way when the old, familiar way turns out to be ineffective. The more flexible you are, the more you can adapt to new conditions, the higher your chances of success will be.

Lack of planning

If you don't have goals or plans, then you allow yourself to become part of other people's plans. If you don't plan to become a leader at work, then someone else will, and if you don't plan to get that high-paying job, then someone else will take your place. If you don't plan, you will be put off the path of motivated people. They will occupy all the prestigious places, make money, gain fame, while you will just be a spectator, a witness to their success. Therefore, planning is an important point in achieving success!

Lack of self confidence

If you are not confident in yourself, you will be afraid to follow some of your ideas, you will be able to give up on your dreams when someone tells you that it is impossible. You will avoid taking any risks and ignore many opportunities that could lead you to success. If you want to increase your chances of success, you must build your self-confidence brick by brick.

Fears

Fear of failure and fear of success often interfere. While they seem like complete opposites of each other, both of these fears can have such an impact on you that they prevent you from even trying to do anything. And whoever does nothing, of course, does not make mistakes, but he is never successful either.

How to change your life

Number of attempts

Babies learn how to hold an object only after trying many wrong ways. Every time your baby tries to pick something up and then drops it, he learns something new about the correct way to hold it. After a certain number of attempts, the child finally learns to grasp and hold the object correctly. The same goes for any learning process. If you want to be successful, you must understand that you need to overcome failures until you discover what action will work the way you want.

Be flexible

When you can't function as usual, take a different approach and try something new. Try to find out why you failed so that you can take into account and correct your mistakes the next time you try. Every time you discover something new, learn to overcome another obstacle that stands in the way of success, you will take a big step forward along this path.

Go all the way

When Edison was asked how he managed, without losing hope, to try a thousand times to make the light bulb he invented glow when they exploded one after another, he answered something like this: “Every time another light bulb exploded, I told myself that I had found another one.” a way not to invent it!” He was just sure that he was going to make this invention, so he knew that it was only a matter of time and number of attempts.

Learn to learn

Unsuccessful people very often feel helpless in some situations. They simply don’t know what they need to do to set a goal, achieve it, and achieve success. After the first failures, or even after the very first misfire, they simply get upset and give up, instead of studying the cause of the fiasco. Whenever you can't figure out what went wrong, turn to people more experienced in the field. You can read the necessary literature, sign up for training courses in the profile that interests you. The main thing is to learn to understand your topic well and find out how you can overcome difficulties. Then you won't feel helpless!

Be psychologically prepared for any obstacles

People around you will criticize you, perhaps even laugh at you, try to undermine your self-confidence, and maybe even begin to reject you. But, if you want to be successful, don’t let your dream collapse, don’t turn away from your chosen path.

Failure or success

Would you like an example when there is only a couple of meters between success and failure? Imagine a school, a classroom. There's a lesson in progress. The test results are announced. Two students receive B grades. They sit on the same option, separated by only two desks and a whole abyss of emotions. The C student cannot contain his glee. This four saved him from an unsatisfactory grade in the quarter. The excellent student is silent in shock. For him, four points is a failure. Failure. But there is only one control. Mark too. But it all depends on the attitude of both students to the test result. From the one who expected to receive how much at the beginning of the lesson.

Or another example. Two fifty-year-old women are traveling on the train. Both of them were brought up in a complete family with average income, did well at school, and graduated from college. A lot in common, right? But women’s thoughts are radically different. One of them, summing up the preliminary results of her life, complains: “My husband doesn’t appreciate me. One fishing on my mind. The children achieved nothing. My daughter gave birth to three children and stays at home. The son married a divorcee, is raising a stepson, and works at a factory. Even the car is a wreck.”

Another, smiling, boasts: “And my husband is wonderful. Doesn't drink, doesn't smoke. So many years together. We even go fishing together. Our kids are wonderful. My daughter and her husband were lucky. She is behind him - like behind a stone wall. Raises children, bakes pies. The hostess is good. My son is also great. Kind, humane. He brought a girl with a child. He loves his wife and does not offend his stepson. They live in perfect harmony. Yes, and we are not poor. We bought a car. Maybe not new, but from a good owner. He looked after her like his own. So now we can go fishing and pick mushrooms.”

It all depends on how we ourselves perceive reality. Do you want to see failure in everything? You will see her! Of course, this does not mean that you need to lower the bar of requirements for life and always be content with little. However, it is important to look for the positive sides in everything.

Where do legs grow from?

Self-esteem depends on upbringing. Did your parents teach you to enjoy life and not to be discouraged if something doesn’t work out? This means that a person will grow up adequate, ready for life’s troubles.

If the mother constantly tells the child: “You are disgracing me!”, then he will continue to associate himself with the cause of other people’s shame. Since childhood, he was given an attitude that he adheres to. So praise your children. Do not skimp on words of support, love, recognition of children's abilities. After all, it depends on this whether your child will grow up successful or not.

Reset your mind to the idea that you are no worse than anyone else. And in some ways, maybe even better. Remember all your positive qualities. Develop them. You need to evaluate your strengths and weaknesses. Just evaluate objectively, and not relying on someone else’s opinion.

Take a piece of paper and divide it into two parts. Describe your negative qualities, and on the other hand, your positive ones. Only classify your most serious shortcomings as negative. Even the smallest nuances are considered positive. Are you great at baking pancakes? Or maybe you can hang a shelf in the bathroom yourself? All these are solid advantages. Note - these are your advantages!

Love yourself. Without this simple rule, failure will cut you down at the roots for the rest of your days. Are you unlucky in some way? Or in some situation you did not behave in the best way? Stop punishing yourself, every person does bad things. People differ only in whether a person knows how to correct the situation and move on or not.

The main enemy of self-confidence

Why did we jump from success and failure to self-confidence? Because it is impossible to be lucky and not believe in yourself. The important thing here is to determine cause and effect. Luck (contrary to public opinion) is not a cause, but a consequence. A person first believes in himself, and then he gets lucky.

Take a closer look at the “lucky ones”. Do they look like they are insecure? Or do they radiate calm and self-confidence? Most likely, the second one. Therefore, you should look for your uniqueness, originality - and then success will not keep you waiting. However, the advice to “be like them” would be wrong. You don't have to be like anyone else. Only to myself. With its own advantages and disadvantages.

This uniqueness should be within the bounds of reason - there is absolutely no need to dye your hair bright orange, put on an earring or go to Red Square to sing “Harry Krishna”. But reading Murakami, who is completely uninteresting to you, or listening to Beethoven just because almost everyone is doing it is stupid, to say the least.

Failure is the path to success

Have you ever wondered why people are so afraid of the possibility of failure? They are afraid to look bad in the eyes of others, to be worse than others, to be far from perfect. This is the cause of depression, self-doubt, and dissatisfaction with others. Someone once came up with standards that everyone must meet. To the extent that a person complied with them, he was declared more or less perfect. Perfect mind. Perfect body. A complete loser.

Failure is subjective. But, be that as it may, something happens in life, we get upset, complain that we are unlucky. The editor did not accept the book, they did not give me a loan from the bank, and did not receive a good mark. Failure looks different for everyone, but it frustrates and frightens everyone.

People stop doing things in fear of failing again. The writer, frightened by the first refusal, puts the manuscript on the table and stops writing. The student drops out of school in fear that he will fail the exam and disgrace the entire group. The family continues to rent an apartment instead of taking out a mortgage and moving into their own home.

But luck was so close! A week was enough for a student to learn the subject. The writer could submit the manuscript to another publishing house and receive a larger fee. The family was waiting for a loan from a nearby bank, which they never got to. All the gifts of fate are wasted. And all just because people were afraid of failure.

Therefore, the worst thing you can do is be afraid of failure. The more you fear them, the more often they happen. And the bigger a loser you feel. It turns out to be a vicious circle that is very difficult to break. But it is still possible, so do not despair in any case, even if you have already fallen into it.

Proper awareness of failure

To stop being afraid and finally become a happy person, you need to understand that failure is not defeat, but another step to success. You must be firmly convinced that you will achieve your goal. And no temporary obstacles will prevent you from doing this. Firmly grasp this truth and all tasks in this life will be within your reach.

Think back to your childhood. Here you are learning to roller skate. Stand up, fall, roll, fall again. However, despite all the failures, it doesn’t even occur to you to stop studying. Sooner or later, you easily and naturally roller skate down the street, not even remembering yesterday’s abrasions. Here is an example of how failures help you achieve your goals in life.

How are you different from that kid in the protective helmet and elbow pads? Only a lack of self-confidence. After all, then you knew for sure that you would roller skate. They were not afraid of anything at all; the child did not think that something would not work out for him. But time goes by, children grow up. Today you criticize your every action. Hence all your failures.

There is another theory of the existence of failure that deserves attention. As philosophers say, the more obstacles that stand in your way, the closer you come to your goal. So don't turn around in the opposite direction. Don't give up on your goal halfway through. Who knows, maybe your goal is hiding behind the next wall that stands in your way? And you, having broken 100 walls, despaired, decided that you were a loser and there would be no point anyway, and stopped in front of the last, 101st wall?!

How self-motivation works

Now that all the ins and outs of failure have been revealed, let’s learn to get rid of past fears, cliches, and prejudices. What is needed for this? Motivation to achieve success and avoid failure. Let's look point by point at what you need to do:

Hope for the best, but always prepare for the worst

This old folk wisdom is still relevant today. Accept the idea that there have been, are, and will be failures. Have mass layoffs started at work? Be mentally prepared to be among those who have a payslip prepared. But don't get depressed, feeling sorry for yourself - the poor unfortunate person who was not appreciated.

Better think about the fact that the boss constantly allowed himself to raise his voice, his colleagues loved to gossip, and the salary was low. If this is the situation, why not use it to your advantage? Start sending out your resume, very soon you will be surprised to find that there are many companies ready to appreciate your abilities.

If you build your life this way, you will be prepared for trouble and will always meet it fully armed. This does not mean that you should always look for the negative and expect only unpleasant surprises from life - life is wonderful! But you need to protect yourself so as not to find yourself in an unpleasant situation.

Change your attitude towards circumstances

In addition, change your attitude towards undesirable consequences as quickly as possible. Getting upset every time is not enough for nerves. Got fired from your job and haven't found a new job yet? This means you can finally relax and get some sleep. You will be able to dress the way you want, and not as required by the dress code. But there will be work - if there is a neck, there will be a clamp. Harsh realities of life.

New life

Have you rested? Did you get enough sleep? Now go ahead - look for a new job, a new girlfriend, a new home or even a new husband! If you don’t give up, then you will definitely succeed and sooner or later you will bear the proud title of a successful person! Moreover, you yourself will be able to give advice on how to become one.

What to do for career success

To be successful at work you need to do the following:

• Be passionate about your work, and for this, love for the work you do is absolutely necessary.
• Bring something of your own to the work you love: develop an individual style for achieving goals, create your own brand, your own feature.
• Recognize the importance of what you do for society. For example, if you are a marketer, then your task is to ensure that as many people as possible learn about your company’s unique product and improve their lives with it.
• Be active and proactive. Do not wait for any tasks or assignments received; read literature, take an interest in new developments in your field, offer management options for improving the company’s performance.
• Don't waste time on unnecessary things, such as browsing social networks. Better use it for real relaxation or to achieve your goals.
• Become a first-class specialist in a fairly narrow but in-demand field - then you will be in demand.

Success and business

The exercise “I am in the future” will be useful. It often seems to us that goals are achieved in the following way: the present determines the future, and the achievement of your goal depends on how you are in the present. However, this is not entirely true: in order to subsequently achieve success, you need to become in the present what you will be in the future. Therefore, imagine yourself in every detail, successful in business, and be aware of what qualities you possess. Then, all that remains for you is to develop the appropriate skills, abilities, and character traits.

Correct goal setting is important. Visualize in every detail what you want to achieve. Remember that a good goal is the key to the competent development of any business project.

The goal must have the following characteristics:

• Responsible - it needs to be formulated in the first person.
• Specific - the wording should reflect everything: how much, where, when and how.
• Real - for example, wanting to become immortal at the present stage of the development of science is not entirely realistic.
• Include perfective verbs “to do” or “I will do.”
• Inspirational - it is useless to set goals that you do not want to achieve and the achievement of which does not motivate you.
• Positive - there should be no “no” in the statement of the goal.

Any success is real and achievable. You need to set the right goal, constantly do something to achieve it, take responsibility for your life, be its author and have a positive attitude towards other people. Then success will not take long to arrive!

Being a successful person is not just a desire for most people; for many it is the main goal in life. But not everyone manages to actually realize all their plans against the backdrop of incorrect priorities and a lack of understanding of what success really means. Success is not measured by money, material goods and circumstances; accordingly, the question of how to achieve success in life may imply different answers.

Psychologists note that success in life lies more in a person’s inner freedom, a sense of integrity and completeness, drive in the soul and heart, the opportunity to learn something new, to do what a person loves. Moreover, the material component does not in any way affect the feeling of happiness and success if a person is truly free. Psychologists and the powers that be are ready to talk about how to achieve success in life.

First of all, when reevaluating one’s life and changing it for the better, a person needs to analyze what kind of people achieve success in life, as well as what the concept of success in general is. The main conditions for achieving success are the presence of energy, great desire and goals. The rest can be achieved if you follow the recommendations and advice of experts.

Setting goals

The main indicators of a person’s success are internal drive and a sense of complete independence. The first step in this difficult and lengthy process will be setting goals, that is, planning, first of all with your time. At this stage, a person needs to decide what brings him joy and a feeling of satisfaction, after which he will make a plan to achieve certain goals.

Planning a path to achieving success will allow you to use your time effectively, for this you can make a plan for the next day every evening, and also at the end of the week plan new goals for the next 7 days. Only with this routine can you solve any small tasks that make up the main global goal. By properly planning your future, you can determine your priorities in the long term.

Expert opinion

Victor Brenz

Psychologist and self-development expert

At the planning stage, you definitely need to set your priorities in life, choosing what can bring a person a feeling of joy and independence. This could be career and financial growth, a healthy lifestyle, playing sports, mastering new skills and knowledge, changing jobs and much more.

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When choosing goals, you must compare them with your energy resource so that daily tasks do not become something impossible from the point of view of physical or intellectual abilities. To do this, it is important to eliminate false and imaginary goals, other people’s expectations from a person, or stereotypes imposed by society. The next stage in achieving success is finding ways to solve the problems. An important component of success is self confidence!

If a person has set himself the goal of doubling his income from work within a month, he needs to find ways to implement this plan - part-time work, increasing his productivity, increasing his work potential, giving up unnecessary things that take up his free time. If we are talking about changing your image, you can plan a budget by allocating a certain amount to purchase healthy products and a gym membership.

Achieving success

If you look at the advice of great people who managed to rise from scratch to great heights in achieving their goals, you can understand one simple rule - you can achieve success by starting from your true deepest desires. Many psychologists offer 5 simple rules that will help you achieve success, namely:

1. A person must clearly formulate what exactly can bring pleasure and a feeling of joy to life. These should not be priorities imposed by parents, society, bosses at work or friends, only true desires.
2. At the planning stage, it is important to analyze your life and priorities, weeding out everything imaginary and unreal that only imitates the feeling of freedom, drive and happiness.
3. Next, a person must sensibly weigh all formulated desires and goals with his physical, intellectual and financial capabilities.
4. At the stage of planning and searching for ways to solve assigned problems, a person must set small and global goals in such an order that one solved problem moves the person closer to the main large-scale task.
5. Next, each goal must be realized step by step, while not forgetting to enjoy the taste of desire and receiving it.

As soon as all the established tasks and major goals are implemented according to a clear plan, you need to reward yourself for achieving the first goals, this could be rest or entertainment. Then, following the same routine, you can gradually set new goals, further improving yourself. The advice of psychologists boils down to the fact that in no case should you focus on just one goal, setting new boundaries and possibilities for yourself.

Only positive thoughts and composure

Another important condition for achieving success in life is self-hypnosis, since only a positive attitude, faith in yourself and your strengths will be an excellent impetus for action. Psychologists note that self-hypnosis is the only key to your subconscious. Every thought in a person’s head is the key to a psycho-emotional background, so it is important to get rid of any negative emotions, fears, anxiety, lack of self-confidence and doubt.

Do you consider yourself a successful person?

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A person must remember that he himself determines what he will think about at a certain moment; accordingly, he has all the levers to control his thinking. Before implementing your tasks and goals, it is important to think about yourself only from the best side, believing in your uniqueness, abilities, talents and capabilities. By learning to focus only on your best sides, you can gradually change your attitude towards yourself. And having loved yourself, the person’s surroundings will begin to change.

For reference! Visualization techniques are a great way to change your thinking for the better. To do this, you periodically need to draw pictures in your imagination of how a person in the present time achieves all important goals and objectives. You can create a vision board, depicting yourself as what a person wants to become as a result of working on himself.

Don't be afraid of troubles

The advice of a psychologist will be an indispensable help in cases where a person encounters troubles and failures on the way to achieving goals. No one is immune from crises, wrong decisions and difficulties; many great and successful individuals went through difficult times and periods in life. For example, the inventor of the light bulb Thomas Edison said that genius requires only 1% inspiration, but 99% perspiration.

Any failure must be treated with special enthusiasm, perceiving it not as a fact of incorrect actions, but rather as a source of experience and knowledge, an impetus for a new path to achieve the goals. Any obstacles must be mentally and practically transformed into opportunities, since there are no difficulties in life from which there is no way out.

Films about success

An excellent source of inspiration can be films or a book about how you can achieve any, even seemingly unrealistic, goals and objectives. The top list of the best films about successful people and their ups and downs includes the following films:

• Areas of darkness- a film about how an ordinary guy was able to earn a lot of money in the shortest possible time;
• Vicious passion– the film shows how you can make money out of thin air and act in case of failure;
• Social network- a famous film about a student who created a large social network Facebook;
• The wolf of Wall Street– a story about how ambition turns into success;
• The Devil Wears Prada– the feed shows all the difficulties of working with successful people;
• "Steve Jobs": One last thing - an interview documentary about the life of a successful person;
• Burlesque– a story about the career growth of a provincial girl-singer;
• They smoke here– a story about a person’s unloved job and motivation;
• Scam of the century– a revealing story about self-confidence and ambition that led a simple guy to success;
• Risk limit– an interesting story about the work of top managers during a period of deep crisis.

Psychologists advise watching such films or reading books from successful people at moments when you give up or lack motivation.

If you look at clear examples of how ordinary people achieved colossal heights in life and career, you can see that most great personalities did not conform to society’s stereotypes and imposed standards. Therefore, in books and manuals, they provided personal observations and recommendations on how one can achieve heights on the path of self-realization.

Advice from great people is as follows:

• You shouldn’t be afraid of failures, you need to be prepared for them;
• you need to do only what brings joy and pleasure;
• It is important to think globally, evenly, as well as to dream;
• you should never sit idle, using every minute of free time for good;
• there is no need to be afraid to be a pioneer, offering new ideas and creative developments;
• Before you act, you need to learn to believe in yourself;
• the fight against laziness and the mindset of hard work is the path to success;
• there is no need to be afraid to take risks;
• it is important to be patient and not rush to heights;
• Every successful person must develop leadership qualities.

If you analyze all the advice, you can come to the conclusion that nothing extraordinary or impossible is required in them. But if you break at least one rule and advice, you can postpone victory in your plans for a long time.

Conclusion

The main task of every person is to achieve their own success, but for everyone the concept of success can lie in different things. Some strive for financial independence, for others the struggle for a healthy body and spirit is important, while others are looking for drive, energy and freedom in life. In any case, in order to achieve personal success, it is important to set priorities, plan your future, achieving all goals according to your scenario.