How to recover after the death of your mother. How to survive the death of your mother: practical advice and the opinion of psychologists

The loss of the person closest to you in the world is one of the most powerful shocks in anyone's life. This almost always happens unexpectedly and is difficult to experience at any age. You should pay enough attention to experiencing the stages of grief, comprehend what happened, survive and come to terms with the loss. Communication with loved ones, family and friends helps you quickly come to your senses and find answers to remaining questions and get rid of feelings of guilt.

IT IS IMPORTANT TO KNOW! Fortune teller Baba Nina:“There will always be plenty of money if you put it under your pillow...” Read more >>

How to cope with the death of your mother

Such a strong emotional shock as the loss of a mother happens to almost everyone. This pain eventually develops into a feeling of light sadness.

• Don't engage in self-deception. It is impossible to quickly cope with a loss because life circumstances have changed. Pretending that everything is fine is wrong; it will be self-deception, distorting reality.
• Give yourself time. Everyone experiences the death of their mother differently: depending on the existing relationship with the mother, the circumstances of the death, and their own value system. You should give yourself time to mourn, grieve, and the opportunity to emotionally let go of the person and come to terms with the loss.
• You need to adapt and reconsider your lifestyle, change some areas of your life. It’s better to gradually return to your favorite activities; don’t withdraw into yourself.
• The time that you previously spent with your mother should be filled with other activities: hobbies, communication with friends or family. This will not happen right away; at first, the feeling of emptiness and loss will follow you everywhere.
• Remember all the good things that connected you with your mother. The process of experiencing pain and loss is easier to survive if you collect a bright memory of dear person: remember the good times spent together, find memorabilia, chat with mom’s family and friends. Ask your loved ones exciting questions that remain unanswered. The feeling of understatement, resentment and misunderstanding should disappear, then it is easier to calm down.
• You should get enough sleep and maintain proper health. Funerals, inheritance matters, communication and consolation of relatives are very exhausting. Also, you can’t give up on yourself and forget about appearance, because hygiene and healthy eating- this is the key to health and strength. It is worth remembering that alcohol is not an assistant in personal matters, it only aggravates the situation.
• Seek help from loved ones. In situations where there is no way to cope with emotions, it is worth calling for help from loved ones who will support and always help.

Against the backdrop of experiences and outbursts of emotions, dramatic changes in life are possible: a change of job, place of residence, divorce, etc. In the future, you should analyze the situation and understand whether these changes are necessary or not. You shouldn’t radically and thoughtlessly change your life because of the death of a loved one, because this can only aggravate the situation.

Nature arranges it in such a way that one generation replaces another - everyone is destined to survive the death of their parents. Not everyone can cope with this stress on their own, so a psychologist’s advice on how to cope with the death of a mother will be useful to everyone who is faced with the bitterness of loss.

About personal...

I was so busy building a career and finding my own personal happiness that I never thought about the fact that I could lose my mother. It seemed to me that my mother was eternal... But life brought me back to the harsh reality: my mother has not been with me for four years. She died of cancer. And even all three years while we were fighting her illness, I couldn’t wrap my head around how the person closest to me could just disappear somewhere...

Of course, it seemed to me that I was ready for this loss. I saw her terrible torment in last days life and even mentally tried to let it go, because I read somewhere that at such moments it is better not to hold loved ones with your emotional love and give them the opportunity to go to another world with a calm soul. I understood that separation was inevitable, but when that very day came, it was a shock for me.

The moment came when I felt that I didn’t know how to survive the death of my mother; I needed the advice of a psychologist like air. For many, this awareness of the need for outside help does not occur immediately, but after a certain time. For me, this stage came after six months of melancholy.

It would seem that it was time to come to terms, but for some reason it only became harder for me, and I began to collect information that would help me get out of depression:

2. Don't try to rush the grieving process. Don't rush to get your life back on track, give yourself enough time to accept the situation. Don't compare yourself or listen to others compare how long it took someone else to mourn. Each situation and each person is individual: some can smile after a week, others remain in apathy for years.

3. Keep the memory of your deceased mother alive. Yes, she is not around, but she will remain in your heart. Record fond memories of her, treasure her favorite little things, learn to bake a pie using her signature recipe. Collect stories related to her from her friends and acquaintances. This will help replace the pain of loss with a feeling of light sadness and establish a connection with your mother on a new level.

4. Take care of your physical well-being. Grief is very exhausting and leaves an imprint on your health. Allocate 7-8 hours to sleep, eat normally, and at least occasionally engage in physically active activities.

5. Analyze which moments without your mother hurt you the most. Perhaps you always went shopping together before. Or on Sundays we went to the cinema. Or every evening we had a tea party with our favorite cookies. Make a similar list and try to avoid such situations alone - invite friends, call relatives. Fill the void with communication!

6. Change your usual schedule of activities and hobbies. If you used to meet with your mom on weekends, sign up for yoga classes at this time. Find a new hobby, get to know interesting people, visit unusual places in the city.

7. Remember that your mother did not want to hurt you by leaving. Imagine what emotions she would experience looking at her child’s happiness! Live life to the fullest as if it were watching you from above!

Some people after death loved one quickly recover and return to normal life, others suffer for months and even years, reaching the point of physical illness and mental disorders. Is such excessive suffering a normal reaction to this event?

When a person loses a loved one, it is natural that he suffers. Suffering for many reasons. This is also grief for that person, beloved, close, dear, with whom he parted. It happens that self-pity strangles someone who has lost support in a person who has passed away.

This may be a feeling of guilt due to the fact that a person cannot give him what he would like to give or owes, because he did not consider it necessary to do good and love in his time.
Problems arise when we do not let go of a person. From our point of view, death is unfair, and very often many people even reproach God: “How unfair you are, why

Did you take it from me? But in fact, God calls a person to himself precisely at the moment when he is ready to move on to eternal life. It often happens that a person does not want to let go of a loved one, does not want to put up with the fact that he is no longer there, that he cannot be returned. But death must be accepted as a given, as a fact. It cannot be returned, that's all. And the person begins to return back to him, you know? These are things that are out of the ordinary, but they don’t happen that rarely. Completely unconsciously, a person begins to grieve, and he wants to, as it were, replace it. The desire for death is so strong in us. We need to reach out to life, but we, oddly enough, reach out to death. When we cling to a person who has died, we want to be with him. But we still have to live here, we have tasks. We can only help him here, you know?

It is more difficult for an unbeliever to let go of the deceased, because he may not even realize that it is so difficult for him to part with this loved one due to the fact that he cannot even give him to God. And a believer is accustomed to placing everything on the will of God, because meetings and partings accompany a person throughout his life.

IN Biblical history There is a plot that has an amazing therapeutic effect on people facing stress and death. It's about about several life fragments of one deeply religious man named Job. Every time, having lost something very important, and there were many significant losses, he repeated: “God gave, God took away.” As a result, God, seeing his strong faith, returns everything in full. This parable is about how, overcoming longing for the departed, we become persistent and strong.

A person, in fact, learns to part ways from his very birth. He learns to be with others, identifying himself with society. But at the same time, every time there is a process of disidentification, that is, disconnection, separation. Small man learns to part with his property while still in the sandbox: “My shovel, my basket.” They take it away - he cries, it is very difficult for him to part with what is his. But in reality, there is nothing of ours in the world, you understand? After all, what does “mine” mean? It’s mine, it’s only mine to some extent. At every moment of our lives we must be ready to part with everything that we consider ours. From the point of view of psychology, this is such a phenomenon of human mental life, the acquisition of skills for loss.

There are people who withdraw into themselves and focus on this loss. They seem to intensify these feelings within themselves, and cannot stop the flow of suffering emotions. Since childhood, we get used to parting with grief. Someone gets hung up on this: “This is mine, and that’s it!” So great is the attractive power of this egoistic feeling. And a more mature person knows how to part without pain, without such anguish.

It turns out that a mature person perceives death more calmly?

He calmly transfers the deceased into the hands of the One who has the greater right to him. Why? Because maturity is determined by the strength of spirit with which we perceive all the difficult circumstances of life. Whatever happens, we must perceive everything indifferently, indifferently. So St. Rev. Seraphim of Sarov spoke. It is necessary that the soul treats everything equally, or, as it were, equally, both sorrows and joys. There is such absolute calm in everything, and in fact it is very difficult.

The perception of loss and grief of a spiritual and spiritual person is distinguished by the fact that spirituality is associated with strain, emotional fracture, passion, and sensuality. On the contrary, the spiritual attitude is equal, it contains helping, quiet love. I remember how my mother died. This was a completely unexpected event. We said goodbye to her, she was leaving for another city, and the next day they called me that she arrived, went to bed and died. She was only 63 years old, I saw her off healthy person. It was a shock for me. Because I lost a loved one completely unexpectedly. But she died in a Christian way, calmly, the way everyone dreams of dying. I have heard more than once: “I wish I could lie down and die.” So she arrived, lay down in her bed and died. And when I came to church, I met my priest - he also knew my mother - I told him, and he said to me: “You, most importantly, perceive this death spiritually.”

I was just becoming a church member at that time, and for me these issues of life and death were, so to speak, unclear.

Then I had not yet buried anyone close to me. I kept thinking, what does it mean to perceive spiritually? From the literature that deals with the topic of attitude towards death, I realized that to have a spiritual attitude means not to grieve.
If you couldn't give something to this person, you feel guilty. Often people become fixated and suffer from the fact that they did not give something to their loved one. There is something left that begins to worry them. “Why didn’t I add it?

Why didn't you do it? After all, I could,” and with this they go into other circles of perception, they go into depression.
In this case, the person begins to feel guilty. And the feeling of guilt should not be masochistic, it should be constructive. The constructive approach is as follows: “I caught myself thinking that I was stuck on feelings of guilt. We need to solve this problem spiritually.” Spiritually - this means you need to go to confession and confess before

God is your sin before this person. You need to say: “It’s my fault that I didn’t give him this and that.” If we repent of this, then the person feels it.

For example, I would have approached my mother when she was alive and said: “Mom, forgive me, I didn’t give you this and that.” I don't think my mother won't forgive me. In the same way, I can solve this issue, even if this person is not next to me. After all, with God there are no dead, with God everyone is alive. In the Sacrament of Confession, liberation occurs.

Why go to church if you can tell God everything at home? God hears everything anyway.

For an unbeliever, you can start at least with this, you need to admit your guilt. In psychological practice, the following methods are used: a letter to a loved one. That is, you need to write a letter saying that I was wrong, that I didn’t pay enough attention, that I didn’t love you, that I didn’t give you something. You can start with this.
By the way, very often people come to church for the first time precisely in connection with this circumstance, someone’s death

The first time a person can come to the temple is for a funeral. And many of them may already know that a spiritual tribute is to put some food on the canon, light a candle and pray for this person. Prayer is the connection between us and the departed person.
One of the synonyms for the word “cemetery” is “pogost”. “Pogost” comes from the word to stay, because we come here to stay.

We stayed a little, and then went back to our homeland, because our homeland is there.
Everything is upside down in our heads. We are confused about where our home is. But our home is there, next to God. And we just came here to stay. Probably, the person who does not want to leave the deceased does not realize that this person has already fulfilled some purpose here.

Why don't we let our loved ones go? Because very often we are attached to the physical. If we talk about my feelings, I missed my mother: I really wanted to cuddle, touch this soft, dear person, that’s exactly what I missed having her next to me, I lacked physical closeness. But we know that this person continues to live, because the human soul is immortal.

When my mother died, I decided for myself the issue of spiritual perception of this event, and I managed to quickly recover. I admitted that I didn't do something. I repented and tried to really do what I had not done to my mother. I took it and did it to another person. Reading the Psalter also helps, magpies, because communication with a loved one, even if he is not around, does not stop.

Another thing is that you can’t go into dialogue. It sometimes happens that people even become mentally ill, they begin to consult with the deceased. At some difficult moment, you can ask: “Mom, please help me.” But this is when it’s very difficult, and it’s better not to bother, still, pray, pray for your loved ones. When we do something for them, then we help them. Therefore, we need to do everything possible that is within our power.

When I solved this problem for myself, and I managed to quickly recover, then one day I come to my friend’s grandmother. And her mother also visited her a couple of times. About forty days after my mother’s death, maybe a little more, I come to visit this grandmother, and she begins to calm me down, console me. She probably thought that I was grieving, that I was very worried, and I told her: “You know, this doesn’t bother me anymore. I know that mom is happy there, and the only thing I miss is that she is not physically next to me, but I know that she is always next to me.” And suddenly, I see, on her table there was some kind of vase, like all grandmothers, with some flowers and something else, and I, completely mechanically, pulled out a piece of paper from there. I pull it out, and there is a prayer written in my mother’s handwriting. I say: “We saw it! She is always next to me. Even now she is next to me.” My friend was very surprised. That’s the connection we have, you know?

We must let go, because when we don’t let them go, it’s painful for them, they also suffer. Because we are connected, just like here on earth, when we don’t give a person freedom, we pull him, we begin to control him, we call: “Where are you? Or maybe it's there? Or maybe you feel bad? Or maybe you feel too good?” Our relationships with deceased loved ones are built on the same principle.

It turns out that in forty days you recovered from the crisis, that is, forty days is a kind of acceptable period. What deadlines will be unacceptable?

If a person grieves for a year and it drags on further, then of course this is unacceptable. For a maximum of six months, a year, you can get sick, so to speak, but more is already a symptom of the disease. This means the person became depressed.

What if he simply cannot get out of this state?

It doesn’t help, which means it’s time to confess another mistake. Why is despondency one of the seven deadly sins? It is impossible to be sad or despondent, this is cowardice, this is a spiritual illness. Faith is the most powerful and reliable medicine.

Is there any psychological way to motivate yourself to take the first step? After all, some people just think like this: “I have been grieving for him for so long, and thus I remain faithful to him.” How to overcome this?

You definitely need to do something for the deceased. First of all, pray for him and submit notes to the temple. And then - more, strength will appear again. The path out of depression is necessarily connected with some actions, at least a little, little by little. You can just at least say: “How I love him, Lord! Help him, Lord!” - All. “I suffer for him, I worry about him. Now he has gone into nowhere, but I know that he is not alone there, that he is with You.” You need to at least say something, do something for the sake of this person, but not be inactive.

Memoriam.ru, compiled by I. Rakhimova

Crisis psychologists can provide good assistance with this. +371 29165338; +371 29637681

The death of a loved one is a serious loss. But how can we survive the loss of our mother, since for each of us she is dearer than all other relatives? Even a balanced person has a hard time coping with this. But you need to live on for the sake of the bright memory of your mother. The time will come - you will stop grieving and realize that life is not over, and your mother will forever remain alive in your heart.

After severe stress, the psyche recovers in 9 months. After this, memories of the deceased person will not be so painful. Listen to the advice of psychologists, and the pain of losing your mother will subside a little:

• Don’t be alone in the first days after your mother’s death. Let there be close relatives or friends nearby who will be sad with you and remember mommy with a good word;
• Don't isolate yourself. During the first few days, cry and grieve, this will relieve nervous tension;
• Consult a doctor if depression occurs. He will prescribe sedatives. They will help you get through difficult times;
• take a vacation from work or vice versa - plunge into work headlong. This doesn't mean you need to forget about your mom. Just heavy thoughts will slowly change to others;
• Talk to people who have recently experienced the death of a loved one. They will advise how to survive the pain of loss;
• visit your mother's grave. Talk to her at the grave, bring flowers and you will feel better.

If you're worried severe stress, and depression appears - contact a psychotherapist. You need professional help.

Orthodox Christians believe that a deceased person passes into another life. Think about the fact that your mother is in heaven and no longer suffers on this sinful earth, she is better there. Priests recommend to relatives for the soul of a deceased person:

• order a magpie or memorial service after death. During these funeral services, Father will pray for your mother’s soul;
• read prayers and the Psalter to the relatives of the deceased person. Ask our Lord for spiritual strength in your prayers so that you can more easily cope with the loss of your mother;
• visit the temple. Go to church for services, and you will receive peace in your soul, and the Lord will send you wisdom for your future life;
• do good deeds. This will be a good memory of your mother and will help her in Heavenly life;
• do not indulge in grief for a long time. Thank the Lord that you had such a good mom and pray more often for her soul.

How to survive the death of your mother - what not to do

• Don't drown out your heartache with alcohol. Alcohol can dull the emptiness in the soul and feelings, but after sobering up it will not become easier. And would a mother really want to see her child drink during her lifetime?
• Don't stay alone for long. It is clear that in the first days after the funeral you do not want to see anyone. But then don’t avoid communicating with other people. It will become easier among people.
• Don’t blame yourself for your mother’s death, even if she was seriously ill for a long time. You may feel that you have taken poor care of her and paid little attention to her. You are not to blame for anything. We will all die someday. Some people begin to blame the deceased for leaving them in this world and even become furious. They begin to take it out on others. This should not be done under any circumstances! Pull yourself together.

How to survive the death of your mother - live on for the sake of her memory

Gradually, you will come to understand that your mother’s death is real and you will have to live without her. The dependence on the deceased person will pass, and you will begin to perceive the loss as part of your life. Understand that nothing can be changed; death is the end for every person. You need to live on for the sake of the bright memory of your mother. She doesn't want her child to be sad all the time.

The death of loved ones teaches us to love and appreciate those relatives who are still with us. Remember your mother as she was during her lifetime - cheerful, cheerful and happy. And this image will stay with you for the rest of your life.

How to cope with the death of your mother? Losing a loved one is the most stressful factor of all. The death of a mother takes anyone by surprise and is experienced quite hard at any age, whether the child is five years old or fifty. It can take several years to get over such a shock, and if you don't pay enough attention to moving through the stages of grief, the consequences can remain an unhealed wound throughout your life.

It is quite normal that you will want to talk about your mother with everyone around you and quite often. Perhaps memories of your mother will emerge at inappropriate, strange moments that were not previously associated with her. When you feel such a desire to express your thoughts, do not lock it inside yourself. Admit that you are bored and need support. It may seem that people around you are indifferent to your tragedy because they do not want to discuss this topic. In fact, a person may be afraid of hurting you with inappropriate remarks or making you cry with some questions. It is precisely guided by concern for you and the low ability to tolerate the crying and suffering of others that people try to limit conversations on the topic of your loss or shake you out of your worries.

Expecting outside help can have the opposite effect, causing people to sincerely wish you well. Help them in this desire to choose the required form. When you want to tell something, ask to be nearby and listen, please note that this does not oblige the person to solve problems or lift your spirits, but simply to listen. When someone is too intrusive or rude in their desire to help, communicate your discomfort, ask not to interfere, or say that you will start a conversation when the need arises. With such people it is better not to discuss the loss of the person closest to you, so as not to get hurt even more; it is also good to arrange moments of silence for yourself.

How to cope with the death of your mother? Do not be alone with your experiences and do not devalue them, even if there are no people around you who can adequately stay with you or give useful advice, you can turn to a psychotherapist, a priest, or a person you like. How you live your feelings depends on your decisions and choices - help yourself survive the death of your mother by guiding those around you in their aspirations and looking for ways of coping that suit you.

Such a strong emotional shock as the death of a mother happens to everyone, of course, you are unlikely to be able to forget this fact and make the memories exceptionally joyful, devoid of a bitter aftertaste, but you can gradually return to your full functioning, and replace the pain with a feeling of light sadness.

How can it be easier to cope with the death of your mother? You should not rush in the desire to quickly bring your life to the image in which it was familiar before the tragedy. Firstly, this is impossible, since your life has changed significantly, and ignoring this fact violates your vision, and therefore your interaction with reality.

Secondly, you need to give yourself enough time to mourn, experience pain and melancholy, without looking at examples of who coped with this shock for how long. People have different relationships with their mothers, and death itself can be different, which also affects the rate at which sadness decreases.

Seek help from friends from whom you can either simply wrap yourself in a blanket on the balcony and sit silently for several hours, or understand how to survive the death of your mother and the grief that may follow you out of the false hope that everything could be fixed. But remember that not all your friends may know what you need and how you should be treated in general. this period. Choose people who can support you now, and learn to refuse help that can harm you or you feel resistance (go to a club, start a new romance, take on a difficult project - to distract yourself).

How to cope with the death of your mother from cancer?

The way a person dies leaves an imprint on those who remain to live. Sudden and quick death takes you by surprise, gives rise to a feeling of confusion and indignation at injustice, there are many understatements and regrets about the fact that you rarely saw each other, and in the last conversation you were rude. In the event of death from cancer, there are several specific issues for the children of the dying woman.

Most often, this death is not sudden and easy. The patient himself and his relatives are informed of the irreversibility of the approaching outcome and are forced to live the remaining days with this burden. Of course, such knowledge, obtained in advance, makes it possible to ask what you didn’t dare, talk about the most important things, and ask for forgiveness. You cannot be absolutely prepared, but you can be partially prepared in some everyday and ritual matters. But when a mother dies of cancer, it tests her spirit and also poses a difficult challenge for children who begin to go through the stages of loss while their mother is still alive.

This is the desire to deny what is happening, disbelief in doctors and diagnosis. He is born for the higher powers for allowing this to happen, for his mother for being sick, for himself for being powerless. A lot of negativity and confusion in front of the future, which threatens to take away from the world the one who has always been there and archetypally represents this whole world, poses a cruel test to the human psyche. Often, with such a diagnosis, you have to sacrifice important parts of your life in order to care for your mother, while being in a semi-shock state in which the person himself needs. This is all very exhausting and a desire is born to “rather,” for which many will then eat themselves with an eternal feeling of guilt.

Here it is worth sharing that you did not want your mother to die quickly, you wanted an end to suffering for her and for yourself, and possibly for your entire family. Death from cancer is often a mixture of grief and relief from one's own suffering. Here you need to understand that it was not in your power to change the hour of your mother’s death, no matter how well you took care of her.

You may develop your own oncology or feel phantom pain in the same place as the deceased. Of course, you can conduct an examination and it is even recommended to do this once a year, but if the symptoms continue to bother you, you should contact a psychotherapist to disidentify with the destructive image.

All other recommendations are the same as for other losses of loved ones - experience grief, use support, wisely restructure your life and gradually return to your usual routine, paying due attention to caring for the maintenance of physical resources.

How to help a child cope with the death of his mother?

There is an opinion that a child experiences loss more easily than an adult, quickly forgets, and may not even be aware of the fact of the death of a parent. A fundamentally incorrect statement that breaks the psyche of many children, because if an adult has already formed some adaptive concepts and the ability to survive independently in this world, then for a child the death of his mother is tantamount to the apocalypse, since his survival is completely dependent on her.

The experience of grief in children looks specific, different from the crying and hysterics of adults, and assessing their behavior according to the criteria of adult characteristics can lead to the idea that he easily endured the death of his mother, then when it is time to sound the alarm. When a child bursts into tears, they understand and feel sorry for him, but often the child becomes very quiet, obedient, and they like to explain this behavior by saying that now there is no one to pamper him and so he began to behave normally. In fact, inside the child there is a scorched desert and together with the mother, a large part of his soul (responsible for the manifestation and understanding of emotions) has died and now a person is needed who can replace the mother in the field of the emotional world and learning the ability to deal with them.

Children do not perceive loss in the same way as adults, so they may not speak in the usual words about their grief, but complain about boredom (the world without their mother is not interesting to them), withdraw into themselves, and prefer the company of croaking babies, old people and animals. This choice is due to the fact that these living beings can provide tactile support, and at the same time they will not fiddle with, require activity or vitality. If you observe such alienation in a child, help him survive the death of his mother before he completely withdraws or stops talking (in particularly crisis situations).

When you are in contact with a bereaved child, you will notice how the quiet stage of shock will give way to a stage of anger aimed at deceased mother for leaving me here alone, but to admit such anger in childhood The psyche has no possibility, and therefore it begins to pour out without any address on all surrounding people, objects, weather, phenomena. But instead of anger, another reaction may appear - a feeling of guilt, based on confidence; if he had behaved well (arrived on time, helped more, brought tea to his mother, etc.), then his mother would have been with him. Feelings of guilt in the death of a mother can arise often and at any age, but on this basis a child can believe in his unique great power, the consequences of which can range from tragic cases and psychiatry to unnecessary, in fear of provoking the death of someone else with their incorrectness.

As we see, a child’s feelings in the process of experiencing grief can be polar and fluctuate with unpredictable frequency. Most of all, he needs a smooth, supportive environment, a person who is able to contain and explain to the child himself what is happening to him now, and that this is normal and he is accepted in any condition.

All social issues regarding adoption or guardianship should be resolved in as soon as possible and without changing the decision, since with a long suspended state, the child’s adaptation is delayed. The more various options changes, the more internal resources will be spent on getting used to new guardians and new homes, and there may be no mental and mental strength left to process grief.

How to help a child cope with the death of his mother? As you return to your usual activities, offer your child something new that can partially fill his days (classes, hobbies, travel). And while the baby is going through his adaptation and going through grief, you will have a very valuable separate task - to preserve the memories of his mother. Collect photos and some things, write down stories, her favorite books, places, perfumes. Perhaps at some stages the child will help you with this, at others he will try to destroy everything or will be indifferent - continue collecting, you are doing this for his future. And when the child’s heart ache and he asks to talk about his mother, you can return to him as much memory of her as possible by passing on what belonged to her, talking about her funny characteristics and desires, going to her favorite places.